Rude Awakening

Four posts to go after this one to get to nine hundred.

I dunno why I care about nine hundred posts. I mean, I'd have easily topped that by now if I posted at the same rate I did while I was in high school, but these days I have precious little to talk about.

I'm finally getting back to Kitchener this weekend. I have missed it so. Especially my comfortable bed.

So Takoro's trying to move into my turf, kissing Hinik's ass during raids. I don't know why HE'S doing it, I do it because I sort of want a promotion, and also because I do it in such an over the top fashion that other usually find it amusing. I shall have to have the boy killed. I didn't even know he was doing it until Ally whispered me, because I had Takoro on ignore after his bitchy comments a couple weeks back.

I also made it perfectly clear that if Hinik's not on a character that can promote me, I feel no reason to even be civil to that character in raids. It's fun.

So I helped my great uncle move. And I remembered, I fucking hate Acton. Pretty much everyone I see is either very old or very young. And I HATE kids. And I HATE old people. Acton is the place that everyone else in the area mocks...Even Rockwood...And that's saying a fair bit. I find that the only redeeming feature of this wretched hive of scum and villainy is the Chinese food place, Double Happiness. So when I had to help my great uncle move all his shit out of his apartment because he's going into a nursing thing somewhere, I thought "At least I'll get some Double Happiness. It will redeem this day". It's not that I have any ill will towards my great uncle. He's probably the only member of my family that has been in jail for arson. I just don't really know the guy. At all. I'm not even sure what he looks like. He wasn't the most social of relatives, and I don't keep track of most of my relatives. But he was in some kind of relationship with one of the most irritating human beings I have ever had the displeasure of coming into contact with. She's short, french, and potentially mentally retarded. I dislike all of these things, and to put them all in a single condensed package is just awful. She spent about two minutes fiddling with a phone while it blasted an incredibly irritating ring tone at a very high volume (old people. Pretty much deaf.) while trying to make it somewhat quieter. She obviously had no idea what she was doing, nor was her task important, but it made the rest of us halt and stand there praying that she would finish so it would shut the fuck up. When she did finish, she thought she had fixed it, but she very clearly had not.

God I hate old people.

So then when my day FINALLY comes to an end, I find out that the Double Happiness is closed, owners on vacation or they're doing a renovation or some fucking thing, I didn't get out to read the sign. But the high point of my day, nay, of ACTON, is closed. So then we had to go to another place, and they fucked up my order, slathered sauce on the whole goddamn thing when I requested no sauce (why do they repeat your order to you when they just proceed to ignore it?), and then the rice tasted like shit. Faaaaaaaantastic.

Today we had to go back and grab something else, but that didn't take very long at all. Then I...what did I do...Helped Krystie's Druid alt run some quests, played a bunch of Fallout 3, and then raided. Slow raiding night, only took down three bosses, but we called it early, which I am always a fan of.

I think I've been playing too much Fallout 3. Last night I dreamed about a nuclear apocalypse, very similar to the one of Fallout, but for some reason there were some areas that were relatively unaffected. My parents and I ended up in a cabin with a generator somewhere with a lot of trees and shit around, but then we left for some reason. I remember being very intent on finding any computers I could, to amass a large number of files, as the internet would no longer be functioning. I was pretty set in my plan to set up a massive computer network just for me, and see what kind of porn and movies and games these other computers had. Also there was a helicopter. My mother knew how to fly it for some reason. And my dad had a rifle. Ethan? I dunno where the fuck he was. I guess dead? I dunno. It's very odd for me to have a dream with my parents even making a remote appearance, so this whole thing was kinda weird. We flew around looking for other people, and started running low on fuel, so we found an airport that had partially survived and FOR SOME REASON -I- was the one that got sent in. Not the guy with the rifle, or any other weapon. What I encountered proves that there is such a thing as too much Fallout 3, because I met a trio of VERY unpleasant Super Mutants. Yep, Super Mutants, exactly like they appear in Fallout 3, same clothes, nailboards, same goddamn phrases. They cut off my escape route, so I had to run further into the building looking for something to defend myself. Luckily I found what looked to be some sort of criminal. I dunno, looked like he was stealing something or getting ready to steal something or he'd already stolen something. The point is that he had a gun, a magnum revolver. I managed to kill one of the mutants, then I ran out of the airport to find my parents, who had found another survivor. I was just reaching then when something woke me up, so I guess I'll never know what would have happened next. Weird dream though. Not a single zombie in it.

Also, the title of this post has nothing to do with the dream or being woken up, it just happened to be the OC remix playing when I finished the post, a remix for Castlevania: Circle of the Moon. I lol'ed.

Until next time,
I don't even know what I'd do with a promotion in the guild. I don't think I actually want one, I just enjoy trying to get one. I'm very easily amused.
~Kataron

Awesome.

Six more posts to nine hundred. Counting this one.

Anyways, still in Rockwood but heading home soon. Very soon. I'm excited. I miss my comfortable bed. And my mini fridge. And I guess the people I live with....I GUESS....Oh, and Scott. Miss that guy.

So my parents have been gone a couple days, supposed to be back sometime today, but I've had an entertaining few days. By which I mean I did jack shit. Played some Fallout 3...

I know what you're thinking. "Nate, you just beat Fallout 3. You did a bigass boring post about it. Why the fuck are you doing it again?!". Well, fuck you. My posts are always interesting and informative. And I'm doing it again because Scott and I started talking about it, and he bought it. He was having some issues getting it working, which has hopefully been resolved. This time I'm going through the game as an evil character. Oh, and I downloaded a couple new mods which completely change each and every weapon in the game.

FUCK. I JUST LOST THE GAME.

*ahem*

Also, it adds a bunch of new enemies, including night ghouls....And weird mutant things. And something that looks like a red Super Mutant Behemoth. Haven't seen that one yet, kind of scared. At any rate, adds a lot of new gameplay elements...Plus I downloaded a mod to expand and alter perks...And another one that adds a player-controlled vault. How does that fit into the story? It doesn't. Still kinda cool though.

ANYWAYS, so I've been doing that a little bit. Not much, still only level sixish. Also attended an RP meeting on WoW. Clan Anvilmar. Discussing Dwarven things. Got drunk. Ally was promoted. And I'll note that afterwards, Ally said she was impressed with my RP because I seem so very different from my raid-self. Which is true. But not many people see the RP Kataron because he's quiet and reserved. Unless he's drunk.

Anyways, then I went back to watching Star Wars. I decided to watch all the Star Wars movies this weekend. Unfortunately that meant that I had to watch Phantom Menace and Clone Wars. Phantom Menace redeems itself somewhat with Liam Neeson's portrayal of Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ray Park performance of Darth Maul, but most of the other characters were fucking irritating. Clone Wars was just....blegh...I don't want to see any of that romance bullshit.

But once I got that shit out of the way, I was free to enjoy episodes three through six, which I did. Only just finished Return of the Jedi. Good film. Hate Ewoks. Also hate the Rebel Alliance in general, but I'm not going into THAT today.

Watched Everything is Illuminated the other day with Dave and Rebecca. Good movie. Premium, even. Might go so far as to say balls deep.

Aside from that, I've been hanging out a lot on Voober chat again. There's a lot of immature jackasses on there, but there's some people that amuse me. Also arguing with stupid people is always entertaining. Some insolent mortal tried to argue that Blizzard was dragging down Activision with it because stocks were slightly down. I lol'ed pretty hard. Not only does Blizzard make metric shit-tons of money from WoW, but they're deep into development for Starcraft 2 and Diablo 3. And if those don't sell well, then I fear for the gaming community in general. Korea's pretty much going to jizz itself, since they still hold regular Starcraft tournaments. People make their livings off that shit. I pointed out to the guy that he was wrong, and potentially mentally retarded, and he seemed to take it quite personal. Kept trying to argue with me long after I'd lost interest. But that's the internet for ya. Retards and trolls.

Speaking of internet!

SMBC (Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal), one of the best webcomics out there, has just unveiled SMBC theater, where they are going to post a number of funny videos they do. There are only four up so far. The lolcats ones are...meh, but they other two are good. In particular, I love this one:

LINKLINKLINKLINK

Check that shit out. The guy on the right is the guy that does SMBC. Not what I thought he'd look like. I assumed fat and crazy. Got the crazy part right.

Honestly though, I've watched that video like fifty times since I found it, no lie.

But I'm off, gonna get my Fallout 3 on for a bit, methinks.

Until next time,
I have been told that if I crossbred a scorpion with Elijah Wood, I would get Darth Vader with a lisp.
~Kataron

Cat Rat and Dog

Evening, ladies. It's one in the morning Friday night/technically Saturday morning.

I just found a trailer for a movie that looks pretty badass. Especially for anyone that has played and enjoyed Fallout 3. It's not a direct game tie-in, but it's got the same post-apocalyptic world's over raiders and settlements sort of thing.

LINKLINKLINK.

Check that shit out, yo.

My parents went to a wedding today. I can't seem to recall what I did. I think I played some WoW, some TF2, and watched Phantom Menace. Gawd that movie was shit. The only decent scene was with Darth Maul. Everything else was just irritating. Jar Jar Binks, that god-awful child actor, shit, all shit. But I figure if I'm going to watch all of them, I have to start at episode one.

This post is mostly to alert anyone that bothers to read this blog about that video for the Denzel Washington movie. It's gonna be sweeeeeeeet. Come see it with me. I'm very lonely. :|

Until next time,
I'm listening to an audio book right now. I'm lame.
~Kataron

Balls Deep

So I ended up playing about....four-five hours of Team Fortress 2 last night, and it was an absolute blast. Normally the voice chat goes for the entire team, but we set up a separate steam chat where we had constant voice communication. No holding down V, no talking to the unwashed masses. Which is good, because we made fun of -everybody-. 'cept like three guys who were decent players. One of them unfortunately was on the enemy team. He kicked some ass.

I think the only times we talked to the rest of our team was....When Scott wanted to tell them what he, Jared, and myself were going to do...Usually an uber pyro rush, or a scout rush. I've never had more fun as a scout. 'cept maybe that one time I played with reduced gravity. Reduced gravity + double jump + a gun that shoots me up in the air a little more = Awesomeeeeeee.

I only talked when I told one guy to shut the hell up...Or to tell people that we were going balls deep. That's my new phrase. Scott used it once to describe a teleporter that he got waaaaaaaaaay into enemy territory. And then we started using it to describe anything that was good. "Man, that defense was balls deep. Good job guys" or "Balls deep uber!" but my favourite was my 'inspirational speeches'. I would basically force people to listen to me, then inform them that our tactic in this round was to go balls deep. I told them to grab their balls and just shove those fuckers down. DEEP down. Then I would use the normal chat to tell everyone on both teams that our tactic was to NOT go balls deep. You know, give them misinformation.

It was an absolute blast, I don't think I've ever enjoyed TF2 more. I think I'm gonna go play some Dustbowl right now.

I just wanted to let you know that you'll probably be hearing me say "balls deep" fairly often now.

Until next time,
Women aren't as good at TF2. 'cause they can't go balls deep.
~Kataron

Fancy Footwork

So tonight I got all gussied up (shut the fuck up, I can use whatever terminology I want.) to get some raiding done, to make up for the fact that I was very sick last week, and when I get on, there's a vanguard (that's what we call the raiders.) meeting, and Hinik basically scolds people for being whiny little bitches. Apparently people have gotten more petty, irritating, and prone to complaints in the past month-ish. I haven't really noticed anything, but to be honest I don't pay much attention to anything these days in raids aside from shooting the bosses, fiddling with Winamp, and chatting with Hex and Krystie (who plays a female character, but I believe to secretly be a dude.), so I don't pay much attention to raid chat or whever this is taking place. He also commented on people not being reliable. I of course am always reliable except when I am vomitting. He made a good speech, probably made some people feel bad, and Hex and I discussed how we are always cheerful and pleasant. Well, 'cept that one time that the best in slot hunter melee weapon dropped, and loot rules had it go to a Death Knight instead of Hex, who bid more. But that wasn't so bad, because it was also HIS best in slot, and a couple of melee passed on the weapon to let Hex have it two weeks later when it dropped again.

But yeah, then they announced that raids were off this week. Starting up again next week, but I have the rest of the week to do whatever I like. I still hung around on WoW tonight though, which is really the first time I've been on-line since....Last Tuesday. Because I spent all week playing Fallout 3. <3

Anyways, even though the raid was cancelled, I still managed to have fun. A lot of the players went to an officer's meeting, and a lot of the rest of us decided to take part in a large-scale assault on the Horde. Normally assaults on Horde capital cities go straight for the capital bosses. There's an achievement for killing all four, and you get a badass black bear mount. Which makes two bear mounts that I have. I wish I could still get the Armani War Bear (it's no longer attainable and I didn't play when it was), and the white bear mount, which is a rare drop from a quest that I don't have the attention span to do every day.

Anyways, that's what city raids normally do. If you are unfamiliar with the finance system in World of Warcraft, you are aware that the vast majority of financial transactions in-game are via the auction house system. Every capital city has auctioneers that allow players of that faction (either Horde or Alliance. There's also a common system, but nobody uses it. I wouldn't want a dirty Orc buying something I was selling.), so the players spend all their money with that. There's also in-game banks that allow you to store your goods. So the banking system and the auction system requires bankers and auctioneers. Unless you're accessing the guild bank, then you just walk up to the vault and use it. So we killed the auctioneers and the bankers every time they spawned. For forty-five minutes. It was an organized attack, so all other cities had the same things happening to them. The Undercity (the undead one) is not a high priority for most players. It would be like an Alliance player defending Darnassus. Because seriously, fuck Darnassus. It's all the way over there. Fuck that. I'd defend Ironforge in a heartbeat, and to a lesser extent Stormwind, but fuck Darnassus. Undercity is the equivalent to that. So we didn't really have anyone fighting back. We held the entire financial section of the city for forty-five minutes with about a dozen players. And good LORD it was fun.

It was some serious douchebaggery. I mean, they're Horde, so they're not -real- people, but all of the players that were not flagged for pvp, we couldn't attack. So they just stood around waiting for the guys to respawn. At one point, a guy respawned, and half a dozen Horde were right there trying to buy shit. I saw it from across a ledge, and shot the guy dead. They weren't flagged for pvp, so I couldn't attack them, but I pissed them off something fierce. We, along with the other guilds involved, held up the entire financial system of the Horde for at least half an hour. In our case, forty-five minutes, but then Horde reinforcements started showing up, and eventually we were outnumbered about three to one. We still fought a valiant battle, and even had some reinforcements come in and allow us to rez our dead and get out of there. We were about to call it a night when the Horde attacked the Kingship's base of operations in Northrend. It's where most of the RP takes place, and the Horde that dislike our guild have a tendancy to attack it. They probably knew that we were the ones behind the attacks, so attacking our keep was the best way to get us out of there. Fairly clever, actually, but we were more or less done for the evening anyway.

All in all, it was a good time. I drove my motorcycle around some Horde, made various sexual comments to people on vent, and shot my gun at people. But now it's about one in the morning, and I'm off to get some sleep. I'm not sure what tomorrow has in store for me, but I know the night will be filled with strange, fucked up dreams. Just like every other night. The dreams seem to come more often when I'm visiting my parents. I'm not entirely sure why, it just seems to happen more often when I'm here. The other night, the dream was that Scott and I were brothers, and that we lived together. Not so strange, right? Aside from the sibling part, that sounds completely reasonable. Wrong. Zombies. We were living in a rather nice house, and the neighbourhood was filled with zombies. We pretty much continued about, business as usual, but sometimes our motion detectors would go off, and we'd have to be really really really quiet and let the zombie pass by without alerting it and having it moan and bring on the rest of its zombie hordes.

Weird dream.

So let's see what happens tonight.

Look ma, two posts in two days! It's almost like I care!

Until next time,
There was one Horde that was not flagged for pvp. He just kept following us around and throwing snowballs at us. It was actually really funny.
~Kataron

World On Fire

Apparently I'm up to eight hundred and ninety posts. Good Lord I've been doing this for a long time. I'd be well over a thousand if I updated with any frequency, but oh fucking well.

Still in Rockwood because my dad has use for me for a job, and I would like to give Jared some money. Apparently sexual favours AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH. I mean....what?

I was sick as a dog last week. Well, that's assuming that the dog was sick. And, like, not AIDS sick or diabeetus sick, but more like a vomitty sick. Yeah, assuming that, I was sick as a dog. Meaning I didn't really feel up to doing anything. Meaning I just spent all day on my computer, and went to bed early so I was unable to take part in any WoW raids.

SO WHAT DID I DO INSTEAD? WHAT DID I SPEND EVERY DAY DOING, ALL DAY, ALL LAST WEEK?! Why, combing the wastes of The Capital Wasteland of course. For those of you who suck, that means I was playing Fallout 3. It had come to my attention that there have been four expansion packs released for said game thus far, and I then decided that I would like to see them and what they added to the game. Turns out they added quite a lot. I also became familiar with mods and the console, for when I discovered I was far, far too lazy to locate items for mod-added sidequests. And ammo for guns I overused.

At any rate, I found the expansion packs to be quite entertaining. I played through them in "order". The quotation marks are because the third expansion pack adds ten levels to the character development (the former max was twenty, brought up by Broken Steel to be thirty), and added a bunch of new perks and enemies and such, but the story missions it added could only be played after the original game story had been played through.

So I began with Operation Anchorage. I located a group of Brotherhood Outcasts (not gonna explain the factions here, so just picture badasses in black and red power armour. Got it? 'kay.) who had located what may be a cache of weapons. Only trouble is, it only activates for people that have passed the base's training exercise, which none of them can get into because they do not have what I have. A pip-boy 3000 permanently attached to my fucking wrist. So they brought me in, said "HEEEEEEEEEY YOU CAN YOU DO THIS VIRTUAL REALITY THING FOR US". All in caps, no punctuation, it was disgusting really. Okay maybe that's now how they asked but that's not the fucking point.

The point is, in I went into a virtual reality mainframe, which brought back all kinds of bad memories. This time there were no creepy little girls though, so I figured things were okay. This particular training simulator was designed to simulate the battle of Anchorage, Alaska, where the Chinese invaded America. Fun fact, in Fallout lore, the Canadians weren't too keen on American troops travelling through Canadian land to reach their snowy warzone, so the Americans did the only thing they knew how. They conquered Canada, then moved on to finish the fight in Alaska. So at this point, American had unified the whole top half of this section of the world. Then the bombs fell.

WARNING: Spoilers up ahead, lots and lots of spoilers.

But this is pre-bombs, where you go through the simulation, killin' Chinese and generally being badass. All in all, it was pretty fun. I enjoyed the fact that they played up the simulation aspect. Whereas in the normal game you can loot enemies and take their equipment, in this game the enemies disappear after being killed. And instead of resting to heal, or using stimpacks, there are a number of health dispensers and ammo dispensers. So very video gamey.

Anyways, I fought my way through the first section, blew up the giant guns bombing the troops, then came back and got myself a sentry bot on my team and went and blew some other shit up. Chinese didn't stand a chance. Except for their snipers. Their snipers were fucking scary. Goddamn invisible! Invisible I tell you! How the hell do I fight an invisible sniper?! I'll tell ya how. Hide behind the robot and shoot places that look like they may contain INVISIBLE SNIPERS. Then I fought through some buildings, blew up a bunch of tanks, and shot my way through a series of trenches and disabled a barrier of some kind. Then I convinced a Chinese general to kill himself, which was pretty much the high point of my day. Also, his sword had lightning. He stabbed himself with a goddamn lightning sword. Badass.

Then I came out, and the Outcast leader was like "Well shit dawg, you got dat bigass door open, I reckon you cin take somma dat dere tech". And then this OTHER guy was like "Slow the fuck down, you're givin' our shit to this motha-fucka?" and I was like "whoa man, words hurt". And then the first guy was like "A deal's a deal, beetch". And then the second guy and the rest of his dudes started shootin', and I fucking killed all of them and took every goddamn piece of hardware I could find in the base. I mean, I left NOTHING for the Outcasts. They might as well not have opened the door at all. Worked out for me though, got me some Winterized T-51b Power Armour, and automatically taught me how to use it. Normally this takes until near the end of the game, for you to prove yourself to the Brotherhood and have them teach you how to use the armour. Even then, the armour you usually get is just straight Power Armour. I think the only pieces of T-51b are the Winterized, and the one you get at the end of the Shoot 'Em In The Head questline if you take the keys for yourself and raid Fort Constantine. Also, a neat energy sniper rifle using gauss technology, and the crazy general's shocksword were among my goodies. I used the sniper rifle for a while, but later decided that a single shot was irritating, and switched to the Reservist's Rifle for all my sniping needs.

Ummm....Also, I may have paraphrased a lot of what they said.

The SECOND expansion is called The Pitt. It's Pittsburgh or however the fuck that's spelled. It's basically a wretched hive of scum and villainy, with an arena, slaves, and slavers. All in all it was kinda standard I guess, but still enjoyable. Probably my least favourite expansion though. The story goes as follows. Dude escapes, finds you, asks you to come help him get a cure for some kuh-razy disease that's plaguing the slaves, and you go there. The only way you can get into the complex is to appear to be a run-away slave. Fucking wonderful. They take all your weapons and armour away, but it's less of a problem than you might think. You can talk to a dude and get an auto-axe. Like a fucked up chainsaw I guess? More or less. It cuts through Trogs like a hot knife through....well, a freaky zombie thing. And instead of a knife, a chainsaw. Yeah. Anyways, you do what you have to do, collect Iron Ingots in an area infested with mutants and crazies, and for every ten you get, a dude will give you something neat for them. Starts out as shitty armour and stuff, but there's some decent weapons, and one of the armour sets you get is a form of power armour, which helps in the next stage. Which is the obligatory arena. Every game has to have an arena at some point. Pretty simple, go in, shoot the other guy. 'cept they drop in a bunch of radioactive waste to impose a time limit.

Then when you win, you win your freedom, and the leader wants to talk to you. You get up there, and he's all friendly and shit, and he's supposed to be some kind of big bad monster dude. Which I guess he is, I mean, he's the head slaver in a giant organization of slavers, but he's disturbingly pleasant. Anyway, this motherfucker has what you need, so the slaves REVOLT as a distraction so you can get it. Only? Turns out? Big fucking spoiler alert right fucking here: The cure is his kid. Whoaaaaaaaaa. That fucking runaway slave asshole never said anything about kidnapping a goddamn baby. What a fucking dick. So big decision, side with the slavers and DON'T kidnap a baby, and go out there and instead slaughter people wielding barely anything, or take the kid and fight your way through a heavily armed city of slavers to bring back your kidnapped prize to a lying douchebag. Neither seem to karma-friendly, right? Not being one to side with slavers, I killed every fucking one of them. 'cept the dude's wife, who watched me kidnap her kid. Didn't seem right. Bitch shot at me though.

Anyways, in the end, all the slavers end up dead, and the kid ends up in the hands of a friendly woman you met in the story. Not that bad. Oh, and you got all your stuff back when you won your freedom. Shoulda mentioned that.

The NEXT expansion pack I played was Point Lookout. A boat takes you to a Swampy land full of mutant freaks that are essentially inbred rednecks with mutant genomes and shotguns. Disturbingly hard to kill, this is when I first used the console to alter my character's stats. I found sneak less useful in this area, than say....small guns. Which I hadn't put many points into. So I altered my character to make up for that problem, then shot my way through everything. Had a few quests, nothing really mind-boggling. Honestly, probably coulda used some more unique characters to chat with along the way. I found the area to be a little too desolate for my tastes. I mean, shit, in the Capital Wasteland, no matter where you go, you're bound to run into some friendlies. Gotta shoot your way to them, but they're around...This expansion had most of the friendly areas centered around the lower section of the map. The boat, a general store, a mansion, another much less impressive mansion on the other side, a medical camp that was mostly deserted, and a hardware store. There were only two spots above the midpoint of the map that contained friendly units, I believe. Both were very strange. Anyways, you stumble through the story and meet odd people leading to an odd showdown between a giant brain and a ghoul that treats you like shit...Frankly, the story didn't draw me in at all. At least in the first expansion I had fun and had a small but lovable cast of allies (pretty much just one guy. But he was badass). And at the end, the betrayal stung. Until I shot them. In the second expansion, you get the big decision with less obvious morality issues than you originally thought. Also you develop either a bond with the slaves or the slavers. Then there's this expansion, in which I think there was only one....No wait, that safari guy, two. Two people in the end that I did not want to shoot. The area was large and looked neat, but I was hoping for more character development.

In the expansion pack, Broken Steel, you aid the Brotherhood in wiping out some Enclave douchebags. If you haven't played Fallout 3 and are not aware of how it ends, then skip ahead to the bold text alerting you that the post is safe to continue, otherwise keep reading.

So anyways, at the end of Fallout 3, you get a big decision to make. Basically, tiny room full of raditation, either you go in, or Sarah Lyons, the daughter of the big cheese of the Brotherhood and the chick that has saved your ass a few times. The obvious karmically good solution is to poke your head in there, enter the password that everyone at this point should be able to figure out. I wanted to go for an alternative route....Send the giant Super Mutant Fawkes, whom I had recently recruited in to do it for me. But noooooooooooooo. He spouted some bullshit about how this was my big moment, he could not interfere. If you go in, you die. If you stay out, you live. Either way, the game ends. And what a shitty ending it was. That was my main qualm with the game, and when Broken Steel came along, I was able to enjoy it much more.

For you see, Broken Steel continues the game after the ending cutscene. You didn't die, you were just in a coma! Also, it alters the game so that you CAN send that big green shitfucker in there instead. You still get knocked out and go into a coma though, so does Sarah. So then you wake up two weeks later, Project Purity worked wonders, but there's still Enclave forces that are far more organized than they should be. The main quest involves finishing them off, and the sidequests all involve the pure water. The guy put in charge of Project Purity is perhaps the biggest asshole I have ever met in the game. Fuck I just lost the game. I wanted to shoot this guy every single time I saw him, and the only thing that stopped me was the fact that he was Brotherhood, and they probably wouldn't take kindly to me offing one of their mans. The side-quests were a little dull, they all finished pretty quick. I liked the one involving Rivet City, the Underworld one was okay, but the other one was lame. Finished it in under ten minutes with the flip of a switch and a speech check. Gaaaaaaaaaaaay.

The main story was okay. I enjoyed the missions, for the most part. Only the last one seemed kind of cluttered. You end up on a big ship looking for some console that fires missiles or something, which leaves you more or less wandering around the ship, using only the waypoints as a guide. Far less epic than the former last part of Fallout 3, where you followed a giant robot into battle. The very end may have been shit, but FUCK was that robot cool.

Anyways, when you wrap things up, there's no big cutscene that goes to credits. You've earned the right to kick ass and take names in the Capital Wasteland, and you can do whatever the fuck you want now. Which is awesome.

Okay, spoilers over. No more discussing expansions.

IT WAS CRAZY WHEN YOU FOUND OUT LYONS AND ALL OF THE BROTHERHOOD WERE ACTUALLY ROBOTS FROM THE FUTURE.

Ha.

That would be fucking gay.

So I learned that mods are fun...And being the bad man that I am, I downloaded not one, but two mods that allowed me to get some virtual booty. One allowed me such conquests as Moira Brown, Dr. Whateverthefuckhernamewas. You know, your dad's friend. Li? Ah hell, it allowed me to bone a number of chicks. The cutscenes were kinda funny too, the screen would black out, you'd hear about ten seconds of moaning (there were about three-five different sex tracks, you actually got different ones based on your stats and how "good" you were. I lol'ed at the amount of effort that went into this), and then came back normal. It even added quests. Moira Brown wants you to write the "Wasteland Reproduction Guide", which was really weird. And you can get a quest to marry Tulip. You probably don't know who Tulip is. She's a ghoul. In the Underworld. The one that runs the general store. I know she's a ghoul, but her personality is kind of cute. She always sounds so desperate for you to come visit.

The other sex mod is weirder. It allows you to not only bone chicks (black screen, no sound effects, but they drop to their knees before the scene blacks out. I lol'ed.), but turn them into prostitutes. You can even get STD's. I ended up with about five hookers working out of my house in Megaton, which of course had the Love Machine theme. I prefer the Love Machine theme because it adds a giant bed right to the middle of the downstairs living room. Who cares if it's heart-shaped? That's fucking convenient. Don't have to go up the goddamn stairs all the time. Fuck stairs! This mod also kept track of your "Wasteland Player level". You even got to choose between oral, anal, or normal sex. It's one of the stranger things I've experienced in my years of video games. But at the same time it was fucking hilarious. I mean, five chicks in my Megaton house, all in "sexy sleepwear". I lol'ed every time I went inside, it looked like a discount whore house where the pimp was my robot. I'm lol'ing right now thinking about it.

I also added a bunch of mods for radio stations. But I never really got into them. Mutant talk radio was fun. It was about a Super Mutant that forced a human to work a radio for it, so that it could broadcast its talk show through the wasteland. That sounds REALLY lame, but it was actually pretty funny, and aside from one Enclave agent, the voice acting was actually decent. There was also a mod to put in your own music, which I downloaded, but never installed. I mean, why would I want to do that, really? I could just run winamp in the background, but I wouldn't even do that. I like the atmosphere that Fallout creates, the 50's style world with the old-timey music, that theme makes the game so much more enjoyable to me. Which is why I downloaded a fairly sizable mod that altered Galaxy News Radio. I still got the same great Three-Dog speeches, but they upped the track list by about a hundred. All songs picked out to match the style and theme of the game. Easily my favourite mod.

I have a couple more mods I want to try out, one that apparently turns Fallout 3 into an RTS of sorts, allowing you to build up a community and establish trades routes and fight battles. Okay, so maybe not an RTS, that was just what somebody said about it, more of a badass Settlers of Catan with laser turrets and shit. I like the fact that you seem to be able to pick your town's location, so you can go with something fortified by mountains or something. I'll be giving it a try sometime.

Anyways, I'm off to bed. This has been my Fallout rant. Honestly though, I've played a LOT of video games in my life. Since I was a kid, this has been what I've wanted to do with more or less all of my spare time. And in my twenty-one (I had to double check to see how old I was.) years of life, Fallout 3 is the BEST VIDEO GAME I HAVE EVER PLAYED. If you haven't played it, then get off your ass and do it. The story is golden, the FPS combined with freeze-combat precision fire is kickass, the atmosphere the game creates really sucks you in, and there's a lot of great characters in this game and interesting situations you can get into. If you haven't played it, then please, please, PLEASE give it a shot. If not with all of the expansions, then at least with Broken Steel. The extra ten levels is worth it.

So I guess in a few months I'll be turning twenty-two....That's my lucky number. There will be a party. You are invited.

Until next time,
One day I'm going to get a chick to dress up like a hobbit. Then she's going to suck my dick. Then right before I finish, I'm going to make her say "Share the load". Ha, now you don't want to come to my birthday party.
~Kataron

A Nightmare Before Kefka

Still visiting my parents because my dad has some work he needs help with, and I have some debt I need to repay to my good friend Jared.

Usually when I visit my parents, I do it on a routine. I visit one weekend, stay home the next weekend, visit the next one, etc. Which worked out well, because every two weeks my parents would go away for the weekend. So I'm visiting one weekend, they're gone the next, etc. So this is the first time in many months that I have been here for a weekend that they have not.

My brother had a party. My parents knew he was having one, but it wasn't a small party. It was supposed to be a "beer pong tournament". I was bribed to stay in my room for the whole of the party, fifteen dollars and a fair amount of pizza. So I elected to move my computer upstairs. Which I would have done whether or not I was going to use it, like hell I'm going to leave Dr. Badass in the hands of drunken idiots. It worked out fairly well for me, I ended up starting an anime I'd downloaded but never gotten around to watching, Berserk. A lot better than I thought it would be, I have six episodes left.

The party got out of hand when more people showed up than were invited, but I found myself more or less unaffected by the ordeal, aside from having no internet.

I found a bottle of Bawls in my room. It turns out that energy drinks can expire. This, I did not know. I like energy drinks, so I decided to go ahead with this, and drank about a third of it before I decided that it tasted absolutely disgusting. I was disappointed.

Anyways, the rest of the night went by with only a few incidents, mostly drunk people being loud outside and bothering our neighbours. But it was not my party, it was not my responsibility, so I didn't care.

The next day, I had Kate over, we watched Taken, cooked food, and had a good time. She still won't have sex with me. But I'm far from giving up.

Then Dave came over, we watched Fired Up and Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

I'd seen all of the movies I watched yesterday, but it was fun watching them again.

Dave ended up crashing here for the night, we wandered Rockwood, and fought a dozen ninja robot aliens. They were unkind to us.

And now I am going to log into World of Warcraft and wait for a raid to start that I don't want to be part of. I don't want to raid a fourth night a week, but the raiders are being required to at least make an attempt. I personally hope that we don't get enough people on-line and have to give up.

Also, a large number of the DPS in the raids are now upset with a player named Takoro, a healer. He was sitting out of the raid and just listening to us on vent when we wiped again, then commented on how when we wipe, it seems to always be a problem with the DPS, and not the healers. He continued prodding at us until the person that owned the vent server moved him into another channel to shut him up. It's the first time I've put someone that raids with us on /ignore and also muted them on vent. He shall stay that way, because if you know me at all, then you know that I tend to hold grudges.

But anyways, I suppose I'd best check in now. At least until the raid forms, I can just keep watching Berserk.

Until next time,
I watched a movie today where a zombie wrestled a shark. Fucking badass.
~Kataron

Cruising

So I decided to do something completely pointless today.

I got a Twitter account. (Kataron was taken by someone advertising something, so I had to settle for Kataron_. Don't bother checking it, it is utterly pointless).

Why? I dunno. I'm not a fan of the whole Twitter idea anyway. It's like a Facebook status. And I never, ever, ever update my Facebook status. Probably because I avoid Facebook as though it has leprosy, but that's beside the point.

Do you want to know why I REALLY got Twitter? Hm? Do you? Spoiler alert, it's pathetic. I saw an advertisement on EvilAvatar for a WoW addon that allowed one to...."tweet", I believe it is called, from within World of Warcraft...It also had a neat feature to add screenshots...So I figured "Meh".

It's another website I will rarely update, and when I do update, whoever reads it will not give a shit. Kind of like this blog. I don't think anyone actually reads this anymore, but it's three thirty in the morning, Megavideo won't let me watch another episode of Burn Notice, and I don't feel like getting emotionally involved with a movie this late at night.

So I decided to rant about things.

When I rule the world, I think I'm going to have a number of death squads. You know, people that work for me that just go around dealing out horrible deaths to those who oppose me. I'm trying to decide on their uniform. Do I go something standard, like a stormtrooper or a soldier? Or do I make them wear clown clothes? That would be kind of awesome.

"Hey look, clowns!"

"....Why do they have machetes?"

Awesome.

I wish I could whistle. Can't do it. Not that I've put all that much effort into figuring out how, it seems too difficult to be worth it. The only reason I can think of that I might want to whistle would be for an inappropriate cat-call. And frankly, I don't leave the house enough to see girls that I might whistle at.

Another thing I've never had?

Warning: You probably don't want to read this next section. So just scroll down until you see more bold text alerting you to when it is safe.

I have never had a wet dream. This was a large point of discussion last time I visited my parents, when I was drinking with Eric and Cameron. I have no idea how the subject came up (lol), but they were incredulous and drunk at the fact that I have never, EVER had a wet dream. Even when I was first ascending into puberty, I got nothin'.

Frankly, it sounds like an interesting experience. I once heard of somebody having a wet dream (I won't say who) about how they were running a race in the olypmics or something, and then they won, and then BAM. Orgasm. Must have been the best race ever.

Okay, you can read again now.

Felt I should mention that.

You know who I hate?

The goddamn Rebel Alliance. FUCKING REBELS. They should just give in to the Empire. They know what's what. They've got their fancy white uniforms. And hey, good guys wear white, right?

Ten bonus points to anyone that got the clothing reference.

But yeah, rebels are whiny little bitches that should all just shut the fuck up and die. I always hated playing as the Rebels in Battlefront. Eric used to play them, I was the Imperials, and I'd just come in and wreck shit. We had epic battles for control of the galaxy. Whatever he tried, he simple could not defeat me on...Naboo, I think. And I could NOT wrest the cloud city of Bespin from his control. This is oldschool Battlefront, btw. ANYWAYS, in the end, I just blew the fucker up. Take that, BESPIN. Or should I say...BLEWUPSPIN.

That goes out to Eric, who complained that I never talk about how much I hate the Rebels anymore....And let it be known that even if I don't rant about hating something these days, I still hate it. Whatever it is that I ranted about in the past about hating, there's a 99.63% chance that I still hate it. I'm a very hateful person.

Speaking of which, I hate kids. In all shapes and forms, I just despise children. Pretty much up until the point that they hit puberty. Yeah, that's not true, I actually hate them more at that point. That's when they get MORE bitchy and whiny and fucked up. Even when I watch a movie with a child actor in it, I get distracted from the plot of the movie by thinking about how much I hate them. Maybe I hate child actors more than I hate actual children (we all know actors aren't real people.), but I don't actually have much experience with actual children these days. Which is for the best, I have little patience and am a horrible influence.

So Chris is getting married in WoW. In RP. His character is a woman. The other night in the raid he was talking about his wedding dress. It was difficult not yelling "GAY" at him until my fingers hurt. I think the wedding is this weekend. Sunday or something. I will of course not be attending. Even though Chris' character is marrying a member of my RP House (Clan Anvilmar), a little Gnome affectionately known as "The Foodle". I dislike the wedding both in character and out of character. Plus I could be doing much more productive things than watch Chris get married in a video game. Like bash my head repeatedly into a wall. Or set a tree on fire. Or try to teach an invisible animal tricks that I cannot see whether or not it is performing properly. Or ritualistic suicide.

So I'm visiting my parents this weekend, just got in today. My dad might have a bit of work lined up, which would mean that I could give Jared a bit of money, which would please him.

Sometimes in my mind I see Jared as Jabba the Hutt, except with glasses. Weird, huh?

And I guess Eric is gone for the summer, which means no late night walks for me this visit, which is a shame because I enjoy those when I come back. Even though all we talk about is World of Warcraft. STILL FUN.

What the fuck, I just noticed a new tab at the top of this page. I wonder how long it's been there. Probably a long time, I don't check this shit. I see "Posting", "Settings", "Template". Those are all normal. But now I notice another, "Monetize".

I shall click on it now.

Ugh, it's advertising. That's what my blog needs...Advertising...God dammit that's stupid. I wonder if it would be one of those advertisement things that looks at words on the webpage and makes "related" ads for them. That's intriguing. I wonder what my ads would be....Probably something about World of Warcraft, and then something sexual, like an ad for Viagra or something.

OR MAYBE BOTH OF THEM TOGETHER. WOULDN'T THAT BE WONDERFUL. You'll note that that wasn't actually a question. No question mark.

Now my head hurts, so I'm going to bed.

Until next time,
Making a Twitter account is like trying to rape a scorpion. Figure that one out for yourself.
~Kataron