Intake Valve

So...

Quick question about penises...

This is obviously to all the guys out there.

When you take a leak, how do you get it out of your pants?

What I mean to say, is do you actually utilize the button opening at the front of the boxers, that was obviously designed for that exact purpose?

I don't. I don't have the time. When I wanna piss, I piss and get it done with. I just tug the boxers down a little with one hand and pull it out with the other.

I realized tonight that this may be deemed strange.

Upon interviewing the other males in the house, I discovered that we are half and half. Two of us use the front flaps, the other two are just too goddamn manly to bother with buttons.

I mean, you already had to undo your fly. If I could pee without undoing my fly and not get myself covered in piss, I would clearly ascend to Godhood.

I was just curious. Never occurred to me that people would actually use that. I tried a few times, then decided that to continue doing that for the rest of my life would take FAR too much time.

Yeah.

So pretty much WoW, House, and hangin' out with Eric and Rick. That's what I've been up to.

Also trying to think of good music to download so I can get a few good playlists set up. Right now, I have a Queen playlist, a Daft Punk playlist, and another that combines The Black Mages and Link Park.

So any recommendations would be great.

But first answer the penis question.

Until next time,
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times? MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND.
~Kataron

Political Intrigue And Thongs

I find it easier to simply post again than to respond to the comments. I haven't responded to comments for a long time, and it might be confusing when I start now.

First, Caitlin. Yes, I know that was you. Odd comment, as always. And an odd Youtube video. Worse still because I remember when that character did that. Yes.

And Ryan, of course my computer has a name. DR_BADASS. It was originally Dr. Badass, but it wouldn't allow periods. Or spaces. So somehow it all became caps. Weird, huh?

Oh, so apparently Bill Cosby thinks that Grand Theft Auto is akin to an "entrance exam to prison". Proving again that we have no need in society for aging black comedians who weren't very funny in their prime, and their humour has even still been allowed to rot and fester.

He's probably never even seen someone play the game, he's just chiming in with his two cents to be politically relevant.

When I rule the world, doing stuff like that will get you drawn and quartered. Also wearing socks and sandals will get you drawn and quartered.

But yeah. Don't have much to say, as I posted earlier.

Today was uneventful. Played some WoW, watched some House. Many hours of WoW and four consecutive episodes of House, to be precise. That game and that show are both horribly addicting.

But yeah. I'm gonna play some video games now, as I stopped playing many hours ago.

And one of these days, I -will- be defiling another great historical work. Keep your eyes peeled, folks.

Until next time,
Because I can.
~Kataron

Assault of the Silver Dragons

Hey folks.

Long time no post.

Sorry 'bout that, just been busy doing stuff.

...Yes, a lot of World of Warcraft.

Also I went back to Rockwood for my mother's birthday, bought a new laptop, then subsequently returned the laptop for a desktop because the laptop was stupid.

Yeah, that sentence summed up most of my last week. Got to hang out with James a bit in Rockwood, also with Rebecca and Dave. It was good times, and a welcome break from World of Warcraft.

Sometimes you just need to not be geared out in epic lootz with a giant two-headed lava dog following you around.

And I understand that.

Which is why I've been cutting back a bit. No longer am I on World of Warcraft from sun-up to sun-down.

Well, technically, sun-up, I'm asleep. Or just getting to bed.

I also picked up a copy of Left 4 Dead with my new computer.

Sweet beard of Zeus, it's nice.

Zombie hordes, shotguns, and co-op action. It's like they made a game based on my DREAMS. Except with fucked up special zombies.

Not even in my most fucked up zombie dreams did I conceive of these fuckers.

I'll lay 'em down for you.

The Smoker. Named after its distinctive smoker's cough, and the cloud of smoke that appears when it dies. Has a disgustingly long tongue that can and will grab you and drag you to an inevitable demise.

The Boomer. Self explanatory. Big disgusting fat guy, tries to vomit on you. Explodes if shot. Both his vomit and the aftermath of his explosion, if they coat you, will attract a horde of zombies right to YOU.

The Hunter. Yeah, know what parkour is? Think of a zombie that can do that. It'll scale walls, jump around, and you won't know it's there until it's on top of you, clawing your throat out.

The Tank. Enormous, scary, and takes a hell of a lot to take down. Probably the biggest baddest scariest of the zombies, save for our next feature.

The Witch. Fucking scary before you even lay eyes on the bitch. When you approach one, all you'll hear is crying...Sobbing...And then you'll see it. Or maybe you won't. It's better if you don't. If you can avoid these creatures, then by all means, DO SO. I cannot stress this enough. These whores will kill you with one swipe of their clawed hands. And if they're in the dark, then you're shit out of luck, because if you shine your flashlight on them, they freak out. If you get too close to one, it freaks out. If you shoot one...Well, obviously, it freaks out. If it didn't, I'd be a little concerned. But yeah.

Witches = Scary shit.

The game sets a creepy atmosphere, and due to the geniuses at Valve, it will always keep you on your guard. It's got an AI Mastermind called The Director that will measure your stress levels by your accuracy, your movements, and how shaky your mouse is. It may choose to cut you a break and give you a moment of solace or a table full of ammunition, or you might get a tank. The former is preferable.

But yeah. Good game. Great multiplayer.

Haven't even been playing much of it, I just find it exciting. I've only run three campaigns, which take about an hour a piece.

Oh, you're probably wondering about my new computer.

Well, it's glorious. Quad-core processor, five gigs of RAM, some fancy video card I don't care to remember the name of, and a seven hundred and fifty gig hard drive.

What the FUCK am I going to do with that much space? Yeah, I have no idea. Probably amass an insane collection of music. That's my plan right now. Last night I downloaded three Black Mages albums, some Linkin Park, some Queen, and the Daft Punk discography. Need some more techno and shit in there too.

But also with the computer, I bought a glorious 22" monitor that just makes everything I do seem fucking awesome. Throw in a hundred dollar sound system. It was on sale. Really really nice. Was considering surround sound, but the guy talked me out of it. He was INCREDIBLY helpful. I mean, wow. He must have spent an hour to an hour and a half going around with Jared and I helping us pick stuff out. Great guy.

In fact, I just went to the Future Shop website and filled out a terrific review of him. Bogdan, his name was. That's just a cool name.

I had to take back the laptop because it wouldn't run WoW. What the fuck kind of computer can't run WoW?! My old piece of shit laptop could run it, so why not this one?! Heresy! Madness!

But yeah. Oh, and to the comments on my last post...

Blargle, I've been playing WoW a long time, but rarely have I had a computer myself capable of running it. This computer I just bought? Technically, my first new computer in ten years. GASP!

To Dave, you look stupid in robes. BURN!

And to the other anonymous, fuck you.

I'm a man. And as such, it is my duty to my gender NOT to let things to. To obsess over stupid pointless things, while realizing that they're stupid and pointless, and to hold grudges until the day I die. I don't know who you are, but I would shoot you with a spear gun if given the opportunity. Why? I dunno. Spear guns are fuckin' badass.

And to reiterate, fuck you.

Not that I give a shit what anonymous people think about me. Otherwise I probably wouldn't post the pathetic details of my life on the internet.

And now that I have a fancy new computer, expect a lot more blog posts out of me. Because anyone willing to read the aforementioned pathetic details of my life deserves more posts!

Until next time,
Oh, and did I mention my one hundred dollar gaming mouse? I got it for forty bucks 'cause someone had opened it and returned it. I fucking LOVE IT.
~Kataron

Rift Stalker Leggings

Hey folks.

KATARON HERE.

I love that name.

Still freaked out that there's some faction in the new Gundam that calls themselves Kataron. I mean, it's flattering, but I didn't approve of such things. Because obviously I am the original Kataron. Before even that black guy that races or whatever. Though he's older than me and that's his actual last name.

Yes.

So we've been running some pretty heavy dungeons in WoW the past couple days. I think in the last two days at least, I've run the two hardest dungeons in the game, and successfully completed both of them. Mind you, it's much less impressive now that everything has less health and does less damage and is just generally easier, but fuck, the loot's still the same. Speaking of loot, I got my first ever piece of Tier gear tonight!

That shit is so good that it's completely class-specific, and you only get a token for it, and actually have to go trade the token in. So I got some badass hunter pants. Very, very pleased.

Considering Wrath of the Lich King is only days away from launch (woo for pre-order), I'm pretty decently geared to go into the new content. My crossbow and my pants in specific I doubt I'll be replacing for a while.

But yeah.

So all attempts to break in Rick as a mount have failed. I guess he must be an epic flying mount, 'cause that's the one kind I am currently unable to ride.

Yes, this is a very WoW-centric post, as that has been my life lately.

After Wrath will come the job search and returning to my murdering of random prostitutes.

Disregard that last part.

Anyways, I don't have anything to rant about at the moment, so I think I'm gonna roll a mage. I just need a name and I need to decide if he's going to be Human, Draenei, or Gnome. Gnome is automatically dismissed because fuck that. So either Human or Draenei. I'm thinking Draenei, because...Well, I don't see many mages of that race. Could be interesting.

But at any rate, I'm off.

Until next time,
The other day, I tried to close an MSN window by hitting "b". If you play WoW, you may understand.
~Kataron

Pew Pew

Sorry 'bout the delay in posting, folks.

Guess I haven't posted since before Halloween.

Which was great, btw. Dave and Rebecca's costumes were awesome, and there was an attractive female for me to ogle, AND before everything started, Dave and I watched Evolution.

And any day that you get to sit in a dark basement and watch Evolution while making stupid jokes to your friend is a good day in my books.

So yeah. The party was good, the costumes were good, the ogling was good. 'twas a good night.

And then the next day I came back here, where I've been since. I've gotten myself re-addicted to World of Warcraft, and I'm hanging out with the guys constantly.

I can't be that addicted if I'm finding the time to make this post, you say? I'm playing WoW right now. RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW. I'm flying somewhere on my slow gryphon for a daily quest.

I was running Battlegrounds all night. One in particular.

Okay, I'll explain what that is for you.

A BG (BattleGround) is when you take a little map...Grab a handful of Alliance, a handful of Horde, and throw them on the map with a handful of towers to defend, conquer, and rape.

The ensuing chaos is a Battleground.

It's the best way to get honour (which you get by A) Being awesome or C) Killing Horde. lease note that A entails C, and B is also C, so I didn't mention it.) and marks of honour, both of which I need to trade in to get a badass crossbow. Which I am in dire need of, since my gun is...Well, my gun is fail. It's only about half the damage that this crossbow does. That's how much of an improvement is...

But yeah.

So yesterday we went to get some hamburger buns and some Coke. And we ended up at a Chinese buffet.

It was aweeeeeeeeeeesome.

So all attempts to train Rick to be my epic land mount have failed. I haven't been able to find a saddle, and he doesn't seem pleased when I try to ride him bare-back. I've been thrown off more than once, but maybe...maybe I can break him in. We'll see.

Yeah.

Also, Andrew was by the other day. 'twas glorious. We hung out, played WoW, watched Firefly, and were all generally awesome.

But anyways, I've got some stuff to do, so I'm off for a bit.

Until next time,
You take the high road, I'll take...The Deeprun Tram.
~Kataron