w00t.

Gentlemen!

Today is a good day!

Today is a victorious day for all of us that like to murder and then teabag our opponents! For those of us that like to steal cars after murdering and teabagging their drivers! For those of us that just love to teabag shit.

Jack Thompson has been disbarred.

That fuckwit is no longer a lawyer. Awwwwwwwww yeah.

Mind you, he's filed an "emergency motion" to keep himself from being disbarred, blah blah blah, it will surely be shot down, and then his career will be flushed down the proverbial toilet.

This is the man that so many of us have hated and despised for years, the man that wants to take our precious video games away from us, the man whose idiotic rhetoric has angered more gamers than any other!

And now he's gone.

God, it's a good day.

*looks around*

*teabags the corpse of Jack Thompson's career*

Feels like victory.

Until next time,
Now we just need to kill him.
~Kataron

The Moon

So apparently I haven't posted in a week.

Not that there's much to post about.

Okay, recap of my past week.

Working, youth group and then food, driving around with Andrew listening to Dr. Horrible, then eventually sleep.

I've been staying up later than before because I met a bunch of people off of that anime chatroom thing that I now have on my MSN. So I don't actually spend as much time on the chat anymore, I just talk to them on MSN in a large group-chat generally started by Kate.

No, not that Kate. A different Kate. An Asian Kate. She's hot like the other Kate though.

Errr...Yes.

Anywho, then Saturday, hung out with Dave and Andrew and Eric. Watched Anchorman and then Stranger Than Fiction. Both good movies. Then they went home, and I stayed up late again watching stuff on-line.

Then Monday, season premieres of both Heroes And How I Met Your Mother. Very exciting. Yesterday, I....I forget. I just forget what I did. The entire day is just lost to me.

Shit, I can't remember most of today.

My days are blanks, my nights are blurs, and I'm always caffeinated.

One day I'll die and my corpse will be so loaded with caffeine that it won't realize I'm dead. It'll probably single-handedly start the zombie apocalypse.

When I die, I think I want to have something surgically attached to my hand. A sword or something. So if I ever come back as a zombie, people will be like "OH SHIT THAT ZOMBIE HAS A SWORD!".

That'd be so damn confusing.

But awesome.

I think ahead!

Kataron tired now. Kataron was angry earlier, but more calm now.

Sometimes you just need to bitch somebody out to feel better.

And so I did.

And so I did.

In case you're wondering, I bitched out Amy for moving between guys so fast. But I'm not going to go into that here, 'cause I'm not a jerk and don't want to end up bitching her out here too.

But yeah, done with that.

Moving on.

I'm thinking of burning something down. Maybe a gazebo. They're the enemies, you know. Just ask Rick. He's seen the evil gazebo. He told me once. HE TOLD ME.

He fucking TOLD ME.

Fuck, I still need to count out all the times I've said fuck since January or whenever I last counted the fucking thing, but I don't want to go through all those posts. Not at all.

I will at some point...'cause I have to. But blah.

Fucking gazebos.

Or maybe I could find something else to burn.

...If I could start fires with my mind, I think the world would be fucked.

But now I am a tired Kataron.

I sleep.

Until next time,
Promise me, you will always remember who you are.
~Kataron

Burning The Midnight Oil

Hey cyber bitches.

So I'm apparently being stalked by some anonymous douchebag on that anime chat site. I have no idea who the fuck it is, but they know who I am and where I live.

And let me say that I hate anons.

They're like the grade nines of chat rooms. They're not real goddamn people. They make me so angry.

Also I have a new idea for a product. A doll, to be precise.

"Sodomy Barbie".

I'm gonna be rich.

Or go to hell.

One of the two.

Going to bathe and read Warcraft books now.

Until next time,
People tell me I'm a terrible person, but nobody ever does anything about it.
~Kataron

Retrospect

Hey folks.

Not much to blog about this evening. Still sort of shocked that I've been doing this for over four years. And spread out over about a dozen blogs. And before I had a blog, I used a thread on a forum as a blogesque...thing.

Yeah.

So I've pretty much been spending most of my time watching anime off of a website I found whilst involved with Bitchstina. Not much else to do 'round Rockwood when I'm done working, what with all of my awesome video games in Kitchener.

So anime.

And a chatroom that's on the side of it. Odd people on there. But interesting.

I've been drafted into a "family" on the chatsite, and have two girls that call me their "Uncle Kat". 'cept only one of them really calls me that. Also I have a "sister" on the site. Yes, it's odd, but really, it's hardly the strangest thing I've ever done.

God, I wonder what that would be...Twenty-one years of random shit, there must be something that stands above it all. But I have no idea what the fuck it is, so let's not worry about that, shall we?

You know what I hate? When people accuse me of being immature. I mean, yeah, I'm immature as hell. But only when it entertains me to be so. As most of you know, I can be serious when I need to be. Accusing me of being immature just puts me at a whole new level of rage.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!

I should yell that whenever I get angry, then punch something. Except that would hurt my hands.

So I have a big gash on my right hand that may have been caused by a bat. I was pulling off some shutters at a house, and there were friggin' bats behind them. Like four, five bats per shutter, and half a dozen shutters. I got to the last one, the last damn one! And it fell down while I was taking it off, and all of a sudden there were bats everywhere, and they were flying around me and then I had a gash on my hand. I would normally presume such an injury to be from a nail, but the only nails on the damn thing were at the top and bottom, and I was gripping the middle.

Did I mention this? I think I did, but I didn't go into as much detail.

Watched The Green Mile with Dave and Rebecca today. That was fun. I love that movie.

*looks from side to side*

I realize now that if you simply google me, people can easily come up with this blog, or worse, my Youtube profile. I'll probably just delete that, as I never use it.

Also I'm totally obsessed with JoCo's most recent song "Always The Moon". Gorgeous. Give it a listen, or you're fat!

I've got rice cooking, so I'm off now.

Until next time,
A month ago I had no idea what the fuck the word "glomp" meant.
~Kataron

Coin Fail

Hello assorted bitches and spork-users.

It's the eleventh of September!

That means two things.

One: I've been doing this for FOUR GODDAMN YEARS.

And two: I guess there was something with plans.

But fuck, America, that was like forever ago. Just shut the fuck up about it. God. Stop fucking milking it.

AND IF I SEE ONE MORE GODDAMN COMMEMORATIVE COIN COMMERCIAL, I'M GOING TO CUT OFF ALL OF YOUR GODDAMN FINGERS AND SEW THEM BACK ON BUT IN THE WRONG ORDER SO WHEN WHEN YOU TRY TO DO THINGS, IT'S AWKWARD.

*clears throat*

Sorry. Those commercials just really fucking piss me off. Every year, it seems they have a new coin, and it always seems to be made of .99 pure silver recovered from the crash site, blah blah blah, shut the fuck up.

I get it.

It was a tragedy. It was a horrible, horrible thing that happened. I'm not trying to say that it wasn't. I feel bad for the people who lost loved ones in the attack.

But honestly, commemorative coins?! FUCK YOU. You think people are going to buy that and somehow feel better about what happened? You think they're going to think that they're somehow helping by buying a coin that indicates that yes, they acknowledge and feel bad about a horrible occurrence in the past?

NO MORE GODDAMN COINS.

FUCK THE GODDAMN COINS.

GODDAMN FUCKING COINS!

*deep breath*

Fucking pisses me off.

ANYWAYS. The most important event was the one where I started this blog. Because who knew I could keep doing something for FOUR YEARS? I have virtually no attention span. I've alt-tabbed out of this window at least a dozen times in the past two minutes. So go me.

And fuck all those who doubted my awesomeness.

And people that wear socks and sandals.

And people that drive smart cars.

FUCKING SMART CARS. I HATE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH. I WANT TO PUSH A SMART CAR FILLED WITH COMMEMORATIVE 9/11 COINS INTO A LAKE AND SHOOT AT IT WITH A GRENADE LAUNCHER WHILE IT SINKS INTO THE WATER.

*calms down again*

Anyways...Stuff to do.

Until next time,
I don't know if I properly expressed how much these coins piss me off.
~Kataron

Birfday

Also, it's my birthday.

Happy birthday to me, you assorted fuckers.

Twenty one!

This blog will celebrate its own birthday in two days.

Feel free to send money.

Puppet Theatre

Well, I have things to tell YOU BITCHES.

I went back to Kitchener with Dave and Eric to celebrate my birthday in style. Well, not really "in style". I suppose that if we celebrated it "in style", we'd be wearing sunglasses the entire time for some reason.

Speaking of which, I'm getting new glasses soon. The frames are quite different from my current ones, and they are shiny as hell. The people kept showing me new frames, and I was like "but...they're not shiny". And that was that. The shiny frames. Shiny shiny shiny.

Umm...Yes. The birthday celebration was a success. There was vodka, and rum, and the bottle of Kahlua we unearthed in the house. Someone left if there. I enjoyed that very much. Mix with milk, and it tastes like fudgesicles. But not the expensive ones. The cheap ones that I always for some reason preferred over the expensive ones because they had a more unique taste.

Also some vanilla stuff that girlJared bought for me as a birthday present.

All in all, alcohol was consumed by all, and good times were had by all.

And Halo 3. I didn't suck. In fact, I even won a match! Only one...But that's still better than my regular zero. And I generally didn't place last.

Also, slushies with vodka = win.

Taking care of a sick friend who starts throwing up? Not win. No names, to protect the innocent! But considering he was still throwing up the next day, which is above and beyond a hangover, there were obviously other factors involved. I've been drunk a lot, but I've never thrown up the next day.

But we did our part to take care of him, as he would for me. Oh damn, I just used the male tense. Now you know it's a dude. That rules out girlJared! And...Rick...

I MEAN.

Damn lobsterback.

That's the term I learned over the weekend. It's a racial slur for those that play Elites in Halo.

Yes.

But yeah, the weekend was good. And now the week is here, and it is less good.

Amy talked to me tonight. It was kind of out of the blue. Not that I really expected her to ignore me forever, I just...I dunno. It was awkward. But it's about to get more awkward.

Because my next planned rant is about bitches.

And for the record (since she admitted that she still reads this), I've been planning this rant for the past week, ever since Eric and I coined the phrase I'll quote, and he can attest to that. It's not a reference to any ladies in particular, just the entire gender.

*ahem*

I've been walking with Eric a lot. And somehow, we ended up saying something that we've been quoting on an almost daily basis since.

We were talking about exploits with the opposite sex, and the negative impacts they've had on our lives.

And the following was said.

"Women are fickle.

And by fickle, I mean bitches.

Women are bitches.

Women are fickle bitches.

And by fickle, I mean bitches.

Women are bitches bitches."

And I don't think I need to say any more on that subject. I've just been wanting to (and I've been told to) post that for the past week or so.

But...Yeah.

Found some new anime, it's good times.

Worked on a scaffold today. Saw some bats. They were under some shutters we were ripping off to repair. My dad is afraid of bats. I implied that he had female reproductive organs, and ripped all the shutters down myself, and watched the little nocturnal bastards fly off, sometimes narrowly avoiding my face in their flight path.

I also managed to cut my hand, either via a bat or via one of the shutters that came down. It all happened pretty quick, I'm not sure which it was. But my hand wasn't really that close to where the nails were, so I dunno.

The nails were rusty anyway.

So I'm looking at

A) Tetanus

or

B) Some crazy bat disease

Everything's coming up Milhouse...

But yeah. I should get back to anime now. I just told Eric I'd blog tonight, so here it is. Mind you, he'll probably just be playing Mass Effect and won't read it tonight, but I am a man of my word.

Until next time,
Despite awkwardness, I did appreciate the birthday wish. But it's probably the most awkward one I've gotten since "Hey. You're legal now".
~Kataron

Always The Moon

Today, I teabagged a house.

It was there...

I was on top of it.

And nobody was looking.

Crouch.

Rise.

Crouch.

Rise.

Melee.

Crouch.

Rise.

It was glorious. FOR GLORY!

So now I can say that I've teabagged a house.

Oh, and I moved. Yeah. The new house is nice. But it's full of crap. Specifically, Jared's crap. He's got so much crap. Holy crap, the crap he's got.

It will be clean at some point. But for now my dad needs me here for a bit, and Eric's back in town, so I've got more than just Rebecca to hang out with. Not that I don't enjoy hanging out with Rebecca. But sometimes Dave is there, and I'm like a third wheel. Except, like, an awesome third wheel. With lasers and spikes and a playing card with a naked lady on it...You know, in that way that some kids put cards in their bike wheels so they make the sound when they ride their bikes? Yeah, I dunno, I never did that shit. But regardless, that's how much of an awesome third wheel I am. But it's still awkward at times.

But yeah. So the new place is good. Rick, Jared, and girlJared are all enjoying it.

And I'm officially at war with fast food restaurants. I guess I should have mentioned that earlier. Oh well. Three times out of four in one week, they fucked up my order. Three times! It's the goddamn hiring policies. They hire the stupid kids that can't get work elsewhere.

If you're not eighteen, then fuck you and stay the fuck out of places where I go. I swear to God, the next kid that fucks up my order is going to get a face full of rat poison and sawdust. Then I'm gonna burn down their goddamn family home and sodomize their family pet. BECAUSE I WANTED MY BURGER WITH JUST CHEESE.

How hard is that? Just...Just don't put other shit on it. It's incredibly simple. It shouldn't be POSSIBLE to fuck it up. And yet three different places did it....So fuck that, and fuck the young people that think they need to work and then decide that they don't give a shit. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. AVOID ME OR FACE MY WRATH!

Aside from that, life's been boring...We're not completely unpacked yet, so no efforts have been made to invade neighbouring houses. We hope to one day spread our territory far enough to own the King's Buffet. The waitress there was superb! The moment we'd left our table, our plates vanished, as soon as our drinks were gone, she was there, and when we didn't think we could drink any more, but still wanted to, she offered us half-glasses. We were shocked! Half-glasses were up until that point in history, unheard of.

She will make an excellent vassal. But the peons at Burger King shall be executed! Heh...Peons...At Burger King. FUCK I'm clever.

...

...Fuck you, I -am- clever.

Clever and wrathful.

Oh, and there are two cats at our new place.

Rick's, a cat named Willow. It's...Weird. It hisses at its own reflection.

There's also the kitten, a little grey one named Squirtle. I'm trying to teach it how to be a ninja, so that it may elminate all pirate kittens in the land. Unfortunately, Jared's girlishness is making it take a while. I laugh when I watch him interact with the cat, then I remember it's been a while since he's had a kitten. Then I continue laughing.

Anyways, fuck you guys, I've got other shit to do, so you bitches can suck it.

Until next time,
I teabagged the FUCK out of that house. YEAH!
~Kataron