Popsicle Mallet

Hey readers.

Anybody else notice the bot the other day trying to shove one of those stupid ads down my throat? I know! Haven't seen one of them little bastards in forever. I thought I'd scared them off...Well, unfortunately for them, my old deal is still in effect. The creator of the bot has now had his soul repossessed by me. Sorry bitch, but if you're not gonna read my back archives, you never know what you're in for when you comment!

Muahahaha.

Today was okay. Hung out with Jared, since he slept through his one class and through the beginning of his next one. He watched me play some of my new copy of Kingdom Hearts (yay!), at some point we had a tasty dinner of chicken strips while watching Reign Over Me. Which he loved, of course. Then we played some co-op in Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance, which was awesome except he kept dying. But that's okay, it's expected from him. He was playing a lady character! Well, the only spellcaster was the female, so he got stuck with it. I'm the manly Dwarf that quickly disrobed completely when I realized that the crappy first armour you get is just clothing that offered no armour bonus whatsoever. So there I was, wearing only my Dwarven Underoos, hunting around a sewer killing rats for reasons I couldn't remember.

I love RPG's. They pretty much all start the same. You start as a crappy character with no skills or abilities, then you work your way up from there to become akin to a God. And your first foes are usually rats, bats, goblins, slime creatures, or generic small wildlife in the area. Basically anything that looks like it might at some point grow up to be menacing, you kill in order to better yourself.

It's almost cruel what you do in order to gain those levels you feel you need. I mean, if there was an xp reward for killing innocent citizens, then by the Gods, I'd do it! I'd kill every damn one of 'em! And wouldn't even feel bad, 'cause they'd probably respawn.

Then I'd spawn-camp 'em! Just to add insult to DEATH.

I almost wish that somebody would put a little more effort into coming up with something to kill, but then I'd probably miss killing the rats and goblins and slimes and such. I'd seek them out, just to crush them for my own amusement.

I guess I'm kind of a dick, huh?

Oh well, in a video game I'm the only goddamn one that matters. I don't give a shit if your village is on fire and your family is trapped inside a burning temple. Unless there's something I can loot in the temple, or some form of reward for rescuing them, then I've no interest in trying to save them. Now, if I happen to already be inside the temple when it sets ablaze, obviously through no fault of mine...then I wouldn't necessarily be OPPOSED to rescuing people if it's convenient and easy for me. But other than that, it means nothing to me.

I want an RPG that breaks the fourth wall completely and utterly. One in which the characters know damn well that they're in a video game, and how to go about being awesome in it.

Holy crapass, it's almost three am. I've gotta go to the bank tomorrow and I have no idea when they'll call me and tell me when my appointment is. Sooo...I should probably go sleep.

On that note, you know who I hate? People that use those goddamn gif things on MSN. You know, the ones that replace words and parts of words and other shit that they'd commonly use. WTF is up with that? It's worst when they use the poorly, so in a word that might feature the letters "lol" together, part of it is flashy and gay. That's goddamn stupid. People that use them should be lined up, and then used as props in various movies in which terrible things happen to their props. Or something like that.

I wish I had a beard that I could remove completely at will. Like a fake beard, but real at the same time. Yeah.

Is it wrong that I love Japanese pop music? I don't think so! Utada Hikaru FTW!

I wonder how long it's gonna take for somebody to make a next gen Tetris game. You all know it's coming. Don't LIE TO YOURSELVES.

I'm gonna go sleep now.

Until next time,
Any series of words can become a pick-up line by adding the word "baby" to it...BABY!
~Kataron

The Erotic Half of the Alphabet

Greetings all.

Nate here. Nate. Nate. Nate. Nate. Nate.

Nate.

As you may be guessing, I haven't slept since about noonish yesterday, so I'm currently running at almost thirty-six hours with no sleep. And very little caffeine for some reason.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Nate.

Yes?

um. So what's been happening with Nate lately?

I'm back in Kitchener. That's nice. My bed is here. It's comfortable. I've taken to leaning it up against the wall when I'm not sleeping on it so I can lean back against it when I'm on the computer. I'm against it right now. It's soft. Soft good. Hard good. Hardware. Software. Soft drinks. Err...Yeah, it's comfortable.

Scott came down to visit yesterday, although I missed the majority of his visit. Kristina wanted me to come down and visit her at work, which I wasn't going to do since Scott was down and it was Heroes night (I missed Heroes btw), but then she used a word that girls NEVER EVER MEAN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Some of you already know the word. "Whatever". That word is a TRAP, PEOPLE! Never believe it. So I realized that she was irritated, and decided to go see her.

I hopped in the shower, got dressed all snazzy (best shirt, expensive tie, trench coat that ISN'T creepy, nice dress shoes, even Jared's hat), and hopped on a bus! Then I hopped on another bus! Then I ended up in Cambridge with no idea whatsoever as to where I was. I found her work! But I was there way too early, so I wandered around the EB she works at for an hour and a half, then I had to go outside while they closed up the store or something. So I was standing in the snow for another hour because I was too stubborn to go somewhere warm and wait. I don't know why. I think I'm just a fucking idiot.

When she finally got out, I would have had only forty-five minutes or so to hang out with her before I caught the last bus back, so she invited me to come and spend the night instead, which I gladly accepted. I wanted to finally meet her since I'd been talking to her for the past two weeks or so. So we returned to her house and her basement room and I started helping her with a school project for her English class. We quickly became distracted, and then working on the project degenerated into us watching hilarious videos on the internet. Then I became a pillow, and we talked for a while about stuff. It was nice. At some point, we decided to sleep. That went great for her, but I couldn't sleep all goddamn night. I don't know why. I just...Couldn't. Not a wink of sleep. She was sleeping for about seven hours while I was futiley attempting to do so. Large parts of the early afternoon are kind of a blur. I remember Mario Galaxy. It's insanely fun, even in the weird co-op mode where you don't actually accomplish much but also don't feel the burden of having to be the one that wins or loses. It's neat.

We went for food, and then I took the bus home.

Hung out with teh Jaredz and El Scotte. And now I'm fucking exhausted, so I'm going to go sleep.

Until next time,
*hums one of the battle themes from Shadow of the Colossus*
~Kataron

Mild Euphoria

Well, my day was freakin' boring. Crawled out of bed at one and played Castlevania.

What's next, you ask? THAT'S FUCKING IT. That was pretty much my entire goddamn day. I played like eight fucking hours of that game. And I'm still not fucking done it. I want to finish it so I can be like "HA! SUCK IT, BITCH!" and then do a little dance of victory.

But seriously. Dull day.

Like, if I was just going to talk about my day, the blog post would end here. But I can probably think of other things to blog about.

uhhh...Such as...

You know, I now actually have no idea what to talk about. There really aren't any new developments in my life, I'm still here in Rockwood away from my computer, comfortable bed, and video games, and I'm still addicted to caffeine.

So fuck it, I'm just going to write a story. A ZOMBIE STORY! Well, the beginning of one. 'cause I'm too lazy to actually figure out what will happen. And keep in mind that this will be a first, unedited draft, so it will probably suck as most first, unedited things do. With that, I begin.

Oh, and since I'm too lazy to create a character, I'm just going to use myself but with another family. A survivalist kinda family with a lot of guns and stuff. The crazy kind. Just so I don't have to think about stuff.

~~~START~~~

Kataron checked the safety on the small pistol and jammed it into his pocket, for lack of a better method of carrying it. For a house with so many guns, there were very few holsters. In fact, there weren't even that many guns in the house itself. The vast majority of his parent's firearms were kept in a small cabin on the outskirts of town. That was mostly due to the fact that they had a few illegal weapons among their collections. Automatic rifles, submachine guns, and even some explosives. All Kataron could find in the house was a pistol, and a few antique decorative rifles from past wars. Well, those and a few melee weapons that he deemed mostly useless. He also grabbed a sword from the trophy wall, an old saber that he'd accidentally dropped as a child onto his father's foot. He knew it was sharp, hopefully as sharp as it had been back then. It was never a good idea to let children play with weapons.

With the saber in hand and the pistol stowed in his pocket, Kataron stepped outside into the daylight. It was a very different town than it had been one week before. The zombies had started on the outskirts of town two days ago. For two days, Kataron had been hiding behind locked doors, listening to his neighbours being slaughtered and turned into the undead. He knew what was happening, and he'd accepted it. Unlike his parents, he was a nerd, and had been watching zombie films for years. He'd never even considered that they might have facts hidden within them. He'd been watching the news for two days now, and had been told repeatedly to remain indoors and try to avoid the risk of infection. And that's what he had been doing.

And for once, he was happy that his parents were insane. The fact that the windows had bars had once made the house resemble a prison, but now it was a sanctuary instead. The heavy metal door had at least six different locks on it, each heavier than the last. It had kept them out, but it had also kept him inside. They'd given up trying to get through the door. Maybe he'd been quiet enough. Maybe they'd found easier prey nearby. But either way, he knew they would be back, in greater numbers. He cursed his parents for being away when this tragedy befell his small town. They weren't just out of town, they were out of the country. Off of the continent. In Africa somewhere, hunting one wild animal or another. At least he knew they'd be safe. Even if the zombies did show up there, they would have enough guns and bullets on hand to fight off half the continent. He, on the other hand, was armed with a pistol and a saber that had belonged to his great grandfather. He was in trouble.

The entire ordeal had started two days earlier, and seemed to originating from near his town. The night the earth shook changed everything. Kataron's theory was that the earthquake that had caught the entire town off-guard (there were no earthquakes on record for the area, ever), had opened up an old mine shaft that had kept the beasts contained for over a hundred years. He'd pieced this theory together based on stories his grandfather had told him years ago, about how the town had been attacked by monsters when he'd been a child. His description of them was on par with the beasts that were currently using the town as a hunting ground. Nobody else had paid any attention to these stories, and somehow the generations after his grandfathers had forgotten the ordeal, probably on purpose. Grandpa's stories had always been scary, but Kataron had dismissed them every time. Especially since the story was almost exactly the same as his tale of when the nazis invaded central Canada. And his story about how the Martians had attacked his childhood home.

There had been a lot of similar stories along those lines. But the zombie one had been unique in the end, where the townsfolk had trapped the monsters in an old mine and blew up the entrance. And now they were free. How they'd survived that long in there, he had no idea, but it was hardly important at this point in time. In fact, right now all that mattered was that he escape this town and find the guns his parents were so fond of.

He knew from the news that the military had erected a barrier outside of the town to keep the zombies from infecting the rest of the world. In fact, he could see it from where he was now. The wall went up quite high, and was barely visible at the end of the long road that his house was on. It was a long distance away, though, and his parent's cabin was in the opposite direction. There was no way he'd be able to make it to the wall anyway, with all of the townspeople standing in his way.

And so he hopped on his bike and began his trek down the long street. There weren't any of the undead in his sight, but he could hear their terrible moans and the screams of their victims. He hoped he wouldn't end up as one of them.

~~~END~~~

because I'm bored of this story for the moment and am getting distracted.

Until next time,
A short story is the lazy man's story.
~Kataron

Dolphin Science Microchips

Hey, remember that time I tried my hand at video blogging? I sucked so bad at that! I really should have thought of something to say before turning that camera on.

Oh well.

I've been an idiot in the past, and will probably be such again in the future. If I accept that, THEN I AM UNSTOPPABLE. And the instant I get a laser gun, you bitches are gonna have to watch out. Well, maybe not YOU bitches, as you are my loyal readers, but other bitches. Ones that wear sunglasses, and hats, and have stupid keychains.

So I want to design a video game with the relationship aspects of Harvest Moon, but...Expanded. And with nothing to do with farming at all. Just like...An RPG where you can marry people. But not like in Fable where the people are just random n00bs. But actual people with personalities. Maybe they can party with you or something. But I just love the marriage system in Harvest Moon.

Seriously, if girls were that easy irl, life would be simple. In original Harvest Moon, you'd just walk into their houses, read their diaries even if they were standing right there, and find your name and see how many hearts she'd written beside it. In later Harvest Moons, you'd simply talk to the girls and see what the heart looked like at the bottom of the conversation window. If it was black and shriveled, you had your work cut out for you. If it was red and beating heartily (I'm fuckin' hilarious), then you were in the clear!

If life were like that....Well, the whole courting process would be done a lot easier. You'd just have to find a FAQ about the girl and see what gifts she liked.

I seriously need to stop playing so much Harvest Moon.

So on a completely unrelated note, I'm trying to choose a new name for my penis. Right now it's Doctor Gregory House, accompanied by Chase and Forman. But I need something new. The KataWang is always a classic, but I need something a little more imposing. Not that I normally bring it up in casual conversation (well...Depending on who I'm talking to...), but should I choose to, I want to have something powerful, something threatening, but also something vigilant and AWE-INSPIRING.

Obviously, it's going to take a lot of work to find a new name. So I'm going to keep working on that.

But aside from wang-related news...Youth group was tonight. It was fun, but I got my ass HANDED TO ME at a game of Inn-Fighting. Which sucked, because it's MY new game and I was the one that brought it in and suggested that we play it. Boo! At one point, I just left because I was in desperate need of a washroom, and the lock doesn't work on the men's room at the drop-in, and I fractured the toilet the other week...So I came home for a few minutes.

I took a bunch of books from the book sale that people were setting up. I was just gonna get two, and I gave James/Eric's mom five bucks for them, but she informed me that that night, we could take books for just a donation, instead of paying general prices, and we could pay whatever we wanted. So I grabbed a bunch more books.

Then we went to Sun Sun's, and ended up sitting around for a LONG WHILE talking about movies and video games. It was pretty fun, considering I have similar tastes to Dave and Andrew.

And that pretty much brings me to here.

I guess I should find something else to rant about now...

Uhhh...

You know what I'm tired about? Those damn commercials where they try to guilt you into sending them money. Not that they ever work on me. Their pathetic mind-tricks mean nothing to me. But they still irritate me by taking up my precious moments of life. Starving children! It's worse when they get shitty actors to do the commercials for them. 'cause really, those greedy bastards are probably only sponsoring like one kid a month. And they're like "for a cup of coffee, you can feed this kid!". Well, goddamnit, how is THAT supposed to caffeinate me?! And how is that money helping the kid? Are you getting HIM coffee? That should be my coffee, you bastards! Give it back!

And then there's the ones about the animals. That one I hate the most because it actually bothers me. Not the dogs and all that shit, I don't care about that. I mean, I love dogs, but they're trying to save dogs across the world when we've got dogs that are just sitting in cages just waiting to be put down because they're not cute enough anymore. Maybe we could make their lives not completely miserable? That'd be fun.

The part that gets me is when they show the bears, all pathetic and sad and all that. That pissed me off, because I love bears. Bears are fuckin' awesome. They can rip people apart just to steal their picnic baskets and eat their precious honey. I assume. But dammit, reducing them in stature like that is akin to...Buying a really nice vase, then smashing it and putting it back into place as if it were still good. EXCEPT VASES CAN'T MAUL YOU TO DEATH. Not yet, anyway.

But yeah. The point is that bears are awesome. AWESOME.

If I die, I wanna be buried in a suit of leather armour with a sword stitched into my hand. That way, if I come back as a zombie, people will see a zombie coming at them in armour with a fucking SWORD and they'll be like OH SHIT THAT ONE'S GOT A SWORD WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GET THAT SWORD AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

That would be fucking HORRIFYING. Which is why it would be so cool.

Which is why I want my body to be donated to mad science, preferably to a scientist working on some kind of zombie serum. Then I'll come back and kill him and lead a zombie revolution!

VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

Except it'd be more like....

*grunt grunt* *long moan* *bashes wall*

Yeah.

uhhh...

I kinda want to write a story, but I have no idea what to write about. If I started one, it'd just be Kataron going to some dungeon on his own to try to find kind or artifact of power. But that could be fun. Not now though. Too tired to think about stories and the like.

Caught up with Justin tonight! That guy's awesome. I miss my spares with him at high school. Those spares were AWESOME.

So why the fuck did the Spice Girls get back together? And more importantly, why do they seem to be selling out shows?! They weren't even very good when they first started, and now they're back and for some reason popular again?

WTF?

Yeah, I may not have hated them when I was younger, YEAH I may have owned their crappy movie, but that's just proof that they sucked. I was young, and therefore an idiot. And something I liked then can't possibly be good now!

Stupid goddamn spice girls.

And you know what else pisses me off?

China. But China usually pisses me off. Because they suck. Goddamn communists. Still trying to cover up their own terrible actions. TSK, TSK.

Their food is awesome, though.

*stretches*

Well, it's about two in the morning, so I might go to bed. Mostly 'cause I'm bored and my head's starting to hurt, so I'm gonna head off and try to get up at a decent time tomorrow to see what people are doing. Might hang with Rebecca. Then Dave says he might come by when he's done work, so we can watch Reign Over Me, possibly at Eric's, since I don't know if Rebecca would want to see it again. It sounds good, and Dave's never led me astray about movies before, so I'm excited about seeing it. That only MAY happen though, so I dunno.

I dunno what kind of gun I would prefer to have. My instincts SCREAM shotgun, because it's the standard zombie-pwning awesomeness, but I dunno. Rifles hold merit, for their headshot capabilities and certain handguns are pretty great for holding off waves of close enemies.

HOLY CRAP I WANNA PLAY SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS ON REBECCA'S PROJECTOR.
That would rock so hard.

Now I just wanna play it in general. I wonder how much a used copy of that would set me back...Whatever it'd be, it would be damn worth it.

But I should go stare at my ceiling for a while and try to sleep while fantasizing about various things. Well, not various things. The same thing as every other night. Me having kick-ass powers and saving a girl from one form of peril or another. That's pretty much what it always is. Sometimes it's the same girl the next night, but I start from the beginning again 'cause I can't remember where I was when I fell asleep the night before.

Every goddamn night without fail.

And yes, I know I'm sad, there's no need to comment as such on this blog post. NO NEED.

Until next time,
If I was a monkey, you'd be covered in poop right now!
~Kataron

Nate+

Heyo, various minions, subjects, and octopi.

Nate here. Uhhh....I guess there's not that much to talk about.

I made a new friend! Through James, interestingly enough. Her name is Kristina, she lives in Cambridge, and she's a nerd. So obviously, we get along great.

Uhhh...That's probably the only thing of interest that's happened to me lately. Wait, when was the last time I blogged? Oh Thursday. I guess I can talk about more stuff then.

Youth group was okay. We watched Gladiator. Which, as you all know, is awesome. But I'd seen it really recently, so I wasn't as into it as I normally would have been. Then we got Sun Sun's. YEAH! CHINESE FOOD! It had been SO DAMN LONG and it tasted SO DAMN GOOD and it was like YEAH YEAH WOO YEAH! Plus I was pretty caffeinated. Then we realized that Paul knows NOTHING of Guelph. Andrew knows it better, and he lives in Burlington. Paul took us on the longest possible route through Guelph. It took a damn long time to get him home, and Andrew was getting frustrated by Paul's shitty shitty directions.

"Left at the second set of lights.....No, not this one. Well, I don't consider this a set of lights."

It's got LIGHTS, PAUL. IT'S A SET OF LIGHTS.

And when you tell us to turn at the bottom of the hill, TWO THIRDS OF THE WAY DOWN IS NOT THE BOTTOM.

Yeah.

So then I went home and watched anime until two in the morning. Uhh...The next day, Rebecca woke me up with a phone call, and was like "wanna go to the mall?", since we'd talked about it at youth group, and I agreed. When I got downstairs, my dad informed me I was helping him install windows. My response was a resounding "Nuh-uh!". So I went to the mall and bought some stuff.

Dementium, for the DS. Weird game, but fun.

Castlevania Doublepack for the GBA, featuring Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance and Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow.

Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance 1 for the Cube. YAY! Fifteen bucks, Jared and I will have fun playing that.

And Musashi: Samurai Legend, a game about Musashi Miyamoto, the coolest samurai ever! woo for that.

I also bought a D&D game, similar to Three Dragon Ante, but with dice and about bar fights. It's pretty fun.

Yep!

We also went to Cinema 1, the food court (A&W FTW!), and HMV for some reason. Then we went to Pet Paradise across the street, where Rebecca bought yet another fish :p

Yeah...The rest of my night, I played video games and watched anime.

The on Sunday, I was right in the middle of playing video games when Dave and Rebecca stole me away to eat food and watch a movie with them. I recommended Planet Terror, so we rented and watched it. I don't think they liked it as much as I did, but I still love it.

THEN I played video games and watched anime.

I hung out with Eric one night. Monday? Monday or Tuesday. That was when James had Kristina text me, AND the first time I got to give Inn-Fighting (D&D game) a test-run. It was a good night.

Then I was sick on Wednesday....blech. I've had a headache basically since last like...Thursday. It's irritating. But it was the worst on Wednesday.

Uhhh...I think that about covers my last week.

So yeah.

You know what I hate? Accented letters. Letters with the little lines and shit above them. What the hell is up what that? What, they're too good to be like normal letters? TO HELL WITH THEM. We don't NEED them. An e without that little fucking hat thing that's like ^ but above it, COMPLETELY UNNEEDED. WE HAVE THE E. IT'S FINE.

Dammit all to hell, man.

I want to live in a world where you can be a traveling with just like...a sword and a mysterious-looking hat. That is my ideal world. I'd get such a hat, and such a weapon, and just wander.

And you know who still sucks? Kathryn still sucks. Just sayin'!

Oh, and that Rob guy that was always irritating. And pretty much the entire administration of Ross from the last year I was there. Suck it, Coffey. Suck it long and suck it hard. Censor the internet?! Somebody should sensor your stupid face and the moronicisms(NEW WORD!) that fume from your mouth!

Just because I can say it again now, Kathryn was an irritating bitch. She ruined that goddamn LotR marathon, that also happened to be Eric's birthday party. Forced Eric to let her come with suicide threats, then stared at Dave when he was trying to sleep and TALKING WHILE THE REST OF US WERE TRYING TO SLEEP. Yeah, bitch, I've got one hell of a memory when it comes to being pissed off at people.

And while we're at it, FUCK YOU JACK THOMPSON. You stupid ass. I want to murder you with a hammer and chisel. Why with a hammer and chisel? I dunno, why the fuck not?

People shooting up schools are stupid. Why just go for the ones you can shoot? You get maybe...A dozen, two dozen MAX, and then you're caught or you kill yourself like an idiot. ooo, look at me, I'm so scary, now to run away from it all, I'm going to shoot myself! Fucktard.

A much more efficient method of mass murder would be an explosive device. Just set a bomb and blow the whole goddamn building up. If I've learned anything from television, and I hope to God that I have, it's that you can easily get bomb plans from the internet (thank you, Google!) and buy the parts at hardware store. Then boom!

Hell, why not spice things up? If you're going to blow up a building, why not go all out and just torture the people before they blow up? Toxic gases, incendiary devices, SPINNING BLADES OF DOOM!

Note that I don't approve of murder, and I'm not suggesting that you kill a bunch of people. But for fuck's sake, man! If you're going to, at least be efficient about it! You may even get away if you're awesome enough. Or you could blow yourself up at your arrest and take out a bunch of innocent cops just trying to do their job. Hey, you're just trying to do your job, right, ya sick bastard?

And fuck car bombs. Too cliche now. Go for the big motherfuckers. Or if you're going to use a car bomb, at least smash the car into a building first. THEN BOOM! Awesome!

Come on, you sadistic idiots, at least show a little goddamn ORIGINALITY. And always remember that inefficiency is a much worse crime then senseless murder!

I know what you're thinking. "Nate, you're a terrible person!".

At least I'm an efficiently terrible person!

Until next time,
Quick, Robin! To the Bonermobile! ...I wish you would stop calling it that...
~Kataron

NATEPOCALYSPE?

So there's now a new thing that pisses me off. Courtesy of Microsoft.

Apparently the new Xbox 360 Dashboard will (which for those of you that don't know, includes everything that the 360 can do with all games, including messaging and...I dunno, other shit. I don't have a 360.) include a BRAND NEW FEATURE.

There will be a "parental" control on it that allows parents (or overzealous bitch-wives) to set time limits to play. When the gamer nears the limit, a message pops up informing him of that, and he will of course try to finish whatever he's doing frantically. Like...I dunno, trying to find a save point in a game? How irritating would THAT be?

"You have five minutes left to play!"

"FUCK! I just beat the boss and there's no save point anywhere near here!"

"*game shuts off early for some reason*"

"..."

That's EXACTLY what's going to happen.

I'm glad I'm not growing up in a world where parents actually have control over shit like that. What's the point of getting out of bed if you can't play video games until your eyes bleed, and then perform various illegal activities over the internet!? Take both of those away, and I would have had virtually no childhood. I would have had to go...outside...*SHUDDER!*

Stupid Microsoft.

On the bright side, I should have at least two hundred and fifty dollars for the weekend. I think I might buy another DS game. Something cheap and shiny. The new Phoenix Wright game is only thirty bucks...Then I'd own the whole series.

Plus I've got all of next week here, and in...I dunno, eight or nine days, I'll have access to another seven hundred dollars! Huzzah!

I hate that new commercial for...Something. I don't really pay attention to it. But it's got that god-awful song. "Music is my boyfriend" blah blah blah and it goes on like that to describe all sorts of things that "music is" to the singer. Apparently it's her king-size bed. What the fuck does that mean?

I wanna play Zombies!!!...

But I think my anime's loaded, so I'm gonna see how many episodes of Blood+ I can get done by the time I need to sleep. I'm at 19/50 right now. Yay!

And Jared, you're damn lucky you were joking about not feeding my fish. If Lord Jabu Jabu died because of you...I dunno what I'd do. But it wouldn't be pleasant. And your girlfriend probably wouldn't want to talk to me ever again. And maybe Scott would end up pregnant. So you'd better not fuck with my fish. Literally OR FIGURATIVELY. But...You know, especially literally. I guess I should have capitalized that one instead of the other one. But it's too late for that now.

Until next time,
Look at me, I'm posting regularly!

~Kataron

Rasputin Realizations

Look, all I'm saying is that Rasputin was clearly capable of some pretty high level cellular regeneration.

FOR SEGREGATION!

The Nate is right pissed.

Why is The Nate pissed? Black people! WAIT. Hear me out before assuming I'm a racist. GEEZ. Once you've heard my rant, it will hopefully be clear that THEY ARE THE RACISTS!

Er....I should really explain what the hell I'm talking about.

Okay, so do we all remember when people fought so hard against segregation, and after much toil, arguing, and blood (particularly in the south), black people were allowed into white schools? Remember how that was a huge victory for them, and how now all of our schools are proudly multicultural?

Well, apparently they want to take it all back.

*pauses for GASPS*

Yeah. Now apparently there are arguments going in Toronto that there should be schools just for black children.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

After all their pissing and moaning way back when, they want to just go ahead and bring back segregation?

I think I speak for a large portion of Canada, when I say "WTF?".

The entire idea pisses me off. They talk about numbers and shit like that and how a lot of black students struggle and resort to other "solutions" such as gangs and drugs and the like. I don't think that's the school board's fault. I think it's the fault of the students that fall back on such dubious...hobbies. And let's not kid ourselves, there are plenty of whities that do the exact same goddamn thing.

Do you really think that simply creating a new school where only black students are welcome would really...end the problem? If the fact that they're turning to these things is an issue of race, which some people seem to be implying when they argue for black-only schools, why the hell would putting them all in one school make it BETTER? Not that I think they'd all turn into bandana-wearing hooligans. Goddamn it I hate bandanas.

But come on people. I think that we need to forget the issue of race with these school systems and just try to help everybody. You can't pamper to one group or another. Because if you do, they'll just keep coming back and begging for more. And you'll give it to them, because it's already been demonstrated that you're weak. And then they'll be back EVERY SINGLE TIME you're having dinner, and they'll look up at you with their innocent puppy-dog eyes, and you'll give them a handout.

Now, I'm probably thinking about my puppy right now, but the point stands that black schools are a step in the wrong direction. I may not have argued it as concisely as I liked, but I'm very caffeinated and get distracted very goddamn easily.

But while we're on the topic of schools, I think we should put our money only into public schools. Let's merge the other schools with them. Catholic schools? Fuck 'em. Throw them in with the rest, just make the religion studies optional. I'd miss the schoolgirl uniform, but goddamn it, sometimes you have to make sacrifices. Aboriginal schools? Fuck 'em, throw them in with the rest, just make optional courses about...whatever the fuck it is that they teach you at aboriginal schools. Gay schools? (one of the black women arguing for black schools [bitch] said that they were a lot of other schools that catered to different kinds of people, like the aboriginal schools and apparently gay schools, which I'd never heard of, or surely I would have bitched about them earlier [oh...I found one. Main site here...]). Fuck 'em. Throw them in with the rest. And fuck private schools. But I don't really give a shit about them. If you really wanna seem fancy, fine, send your kid to private school, but I say the government should step in and make them more accessible to the general populace rather than risk discrimination on the part of private schools.

Let's throw all our money into ONE school system, and maybe kids (of whatever colour) won't continue to fall through the cracks. But if we start splitting up our schools, then we'll be splitting up our funding, and then...Well, then everybody's gonna get fucked over, and we'll lose even more kids. And maybe bandanas will become even more popular. And DAMMIT ALL TO HELL, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THAT WORLD?

Do you? (Shut up Eric, stupid bandana-wearing bastard.)

I think that's all the rant I have in me right now but GOD DAMMIT that pisses me off. Now that they're trying to do it to themselves, it's like they're trying to segregate...us...AND YOU CAN'T SEGREGATE US. WE'RE WHITE.

Until next time,
I totally planned that last line out paragraphs ahead. It makes me laugh.
~Kataron

Fuck Global

Fucking Global. They played Heroes two goddamn hours early to make way for a Prison Break episode that's two hours long. Who gives a fuck about Prison Break? I sure don't! But because I didn't know that it was moved, I missed two thirds of the goddamn episode. What I saw makes no fucking sense to me. THANKS, GLOBAL.

I'm just gonna download and watch the episode later, Global's a fag.

And also, fuck the writers of all those television shows we know and love.

What right do you bastards have to go on strike and threaten to bring repeats and the early endings of seasons? How DARE you interfere with my television watching. I will find your leader, and execute him. You'll wish you never tried to strike! YOU WILL SUFFER.

On a sadder note, my fish died the other day. No, not Lord Jabu Jabu (birthday present from Dave/Rebecca), but my other fish, that I got last week from Rebecca. Ving Rhames, my new fish. Dead. I fed him, but he just wouldn't swim up and eat it...It makes me sad. He looked really cool. I wanted to bring him back and have him and Lord Jabu Jabu fight it out. But now I can't...

I don't know why he died. I was feeding him enough, and he'd just been moved to a larger tank with clean water...I blame the Jews. Oh shit. Did I type that out loud? GOTTA GO.

Until next time,
They'll never find me here...
~Kataron

Belated Post

Hey bitches. Sorry it's been so damn long, but my life has been as dull as...uhhh...Jared's...face? Yeah, we'll just run with that for now.

There's been a few points of interesting. I'm in Rockwood at the moment. I was supposed to be down here for a week and going back on Saturday, but now something's come up and it looks like I might be down here for a little longer. Oh well. I'm sure Jared will get along just fine without me.

I saw 30 Days of Night with Rick and Dave. It was pretty awesome. Note that we saw this after playing between four and five hours of Zombies!!! and getting calzones. The game was the more interesting of those two things, but definitely not the most delicious.

But...uhhh...Yeah. Good movie. The vampires looked cool, one of the characters was the crooked cop from Batman Begins, and aside from him, the only face I could identify was that of the main character. But even without an all-star cast, it was pretty bitchin'. I'd recommend it to anybody that loves vampires. I'm probably gonna see it again with Jared when I get back.

After the movie, I crashed at Rick's place, tried out Hellgate London (pretty cool), and...uhhh...I dunno, played on his computer for a while. It's a nice computer. The next day I got a ride back with Dave as he went into Rockwood to see Rebecca. Then I forget a bunch of stuff.

Then it was Halloween. That was fun. I got a haircut. Very short. Very weird. My head feels light. I went over to Rebecca's for her annual Halloween thingy (her parents love the holiday for some reason. Her basement is always filled with Halloween crap). It was fun. I dressed up like an executioner. Mostly because they had a spare executioner costume in her basement. Eric got there after me, so we had to make do with whatever else we could find. He ended up as a cross between a hooker and a bird. We dubbed it a "Prostikeet" costumes. Dave was Spiderman, complete with one of those costumes that adds all kind of fake muscles. He kept putting the mask on things...Rebecca was a zombie. An impressive zombie at that. She was working at some...Halloween costume sellin' place...So she had access to cool stuff. Mostly latex for fake skin and lots of fake blood.

But yeah, we all hung out for a while. Then Eric left. Then we watched Dawn of the Dead, on the new DVD Dave bought for me because the last DVD I lent to him (Pursuit of Happyness [that's how the title is spelled]) disappeared. So he got me that. AND it had a copy of Land of the Dead with it! Zombie double-pack! Yay!

Then my memory gets a little hazy. Probably played Harvest Moon and hung out with Eric.

Then Youth Group, where I definitely did not break a toilet. *shifty eyes*

But...Yeah.

I've been playing a lot of DS since I got it back from Rick, and watching a lot of anime before that.

Some animes that I've seen in the last while that I found to be extremely awesome were:

Basilisk: Your basic ninja show. But sexier. And with more gore. Like Naruto but not focussed around a bunch of stupid kids, and with infinitely more blood. Blood good.

Black Blood Brothers: Vampire show. Very cool. Unfortunately there's only one season, but it was a damn fine season. Cool characters, cool plot, and a vampire that has fire powers. What more could you ask for?

Fate Stay/Night: An AWESOME show wherein mages summon heroes from the past to do battle with each other in order to obtain an artifact that can grant their wishes. I literally just finished watching it like...Half an hour ago, and I started it yesterday. Twenty-six episodes. Very cool. I wish the video games made about it would be ported over to North America...

You can find the latter two animes here: LINK LINK LINK LINK

Yeah. I've also been watching Avatar, simply because it's awesome.

Oh, and we got a new puppy here. It's cute. It's called Porter, but I hate the name, so I just call it "puppy". I'd put pictures of it up here, but...I'm very lazy.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL, I FOUND SOMETHING WONDERFUL AT THE MALL TODAY.

I went to the mall looking for a new DS game. I might be here for a little while longer, and I knew I would tire of my current selection, so I went hunting for something new. Something in the form of Rune Factory: A Fantasy Harvest Moon. It's pretty snazzy. But upon starting it, I realized that before I could ascend to its greatness, I would first have to finish Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town and Harvest Moon DS.

But after I bought that, I found Advance Wars 2 sitting in the used GBA games section. Advance Wars 2! I've been looking for that game for MONTHS. And I found it! Now all I need is the original, and I've got the entire collection. I love these games, and I'm incredibly excited to have found it. It's rare, you know. For some reason, they stopped production of the game too early. It was selling well, but they just...stopped it. Madness! So now I need to get Advance Wars. It would help if I had a credit card or something, but I don't. So for now, I'll have to play a crappy ROM of it until I can get my hands on the real thing.

But...Yeah. I'm gonna try to find more anime to watch now. If you've got a bunch of free time and want to watch some cool anime, that link I had earlier to Stage6 has the second two shows I mentioned, and you can easily find the first show by simply searching for it on the same site. The internet rocks!

Oh, and next time I post I'll start a project I'm going to be implementing in which my goal is to identify all different types of pooping experience it is possible to have, that I may be able to exit the lavatory in Kitchener, and summarize my dump in a simple expression. So far I have "The Machine Gun" and "Big Bertha". More on that later!

Until next time,
I've got part of OC theme playing in my head. But all I know is "Californiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!". It's fucking irritating.
~Kataron