Nate!

I saw a raccoon on my back deck. He was just kinda chillin' on our old dryer. Or was it the washing machine? I don't care. Anyways, there he was, and there I was, in the kitchen.

I was in the process of going upstairs to relieve myself. Then I saw the light outside on. The motion-sensitive light. I thought to myself "Goddamn cat must be out there again. He's so fat". So I looked out, and there he was. The raccoon. He stared at me for a while, then started to climb my house. I tapped the window, and he came back down, looked at me again, and wandered off towards my backyard.

Three minutes later, a fat man in some town I've never heard of had a heart attack. COINCIDENCE?! CLEARLY NOT!

I'm tired.

If I get a new kitten, should I name it Xero, or Proto Man? Or maybe Dr. Wily? Nah, if I called it that, I'd have to fight off evil robots all the time.

I should become an expert at something really oblique. Like...Demonology. Just so that I can randomly say something that sounds like it's based in fact, when clearly I'm just insane.

Or something like that.

I'd like to become a necromancer. But frankly, that sounds like a whole bunch of work. I'd probably have to sell my soul. And I haven't been able to get through the necronomicon. I continue to get distracted. I get distracted easily.

If I die, I want to be an evil spirit that possesses something that will lead to hilarious consequences. Like a freaky little toy, or a toothbrush. Or a giant statue of death.

If I was a giant statue of death, oh-ho-ho, nothing would be safe!

So I think my wrist is sprained. Two weeks after my lightsaber wound, and my wrist is still swollen and hurts whenever I put weight on it. Like, when I open doors and shit, even.

If I could fire nails from my hand, I think I'd hijack an airplane, just because I'd be able to. Then we'd go to somewhere sunny. But not TOO sunny. Wait, I don't like the sun. Someplace dark, and preferably spooky.

So I guess my parents are going out of town tomorrow, 'til Monday. I'm fine with that. Apparently my brother wants to have a party. I say bah to this! I don't trust his friends. I'd probably have to kick some out for underage drinking. Not that I really care about it, from an ethical standpoint, I just don't want a bunch of drunk idiot kids in my house. So he can TRY to have a party, but I'll refuse to wear pants.

SIRENS! OUTSIDE! Oh, THE HORROR!

I didn't do it. Actually, I probably did. Don't tell "The Man".

I want a knife. One of them cool-lookin' ones. That I can fiddle with. Yeah.

I should spend a bunch of money on pointless things this weekend. Well, I shouldn't, really. But I know I will. It's what I do.

What the fuck is with that Telus commercial with the fucking fish? We're all in this together, five friends from whatever network, blah blah blah. All them fish swimming by, happy and shit. Then a sea horse swims by afterwards. What? You fish too GOOD to hang out with a sea horse? It's the HORSE OF THE SEA, YOU FISH-STICK SONSOFBITCHES. It is your BETTER. Accept it! Kill one of your own, and add IT to your five instead!

If I had a bunch of guns, I would have a hidden bunker somewhere. Just hide all the guns there. Then when the zombies came, I'd be like SHIT! And I'd run for the bunker, and then I'd get in there and the zombies would swarm around it and then I'd come out with a bunch of guns and be like BAM BAM BAM DIE YOU UNDEAD BASTARDS!

Just like that.

Yeah. It'd be rockin'.

I'm gonna go sleep now. I'm tired and bored, and I hate everybody in King of the Hill.

Until next time,
Why do people always take things so goddamn literally?
~Kataron

Knife Fight!

Yep.

My day was pretty boring today. Woke up around noon. Played Samurai Warriors: Empires. Conquered Japan for the fourth time.

Don't give me that look. It WANTS me to conquer it. If it didn't, then it shouldn't be so goddamn conquer...able..Yeah. It's just so damn easy.

Like a pie with a sign next to it that says "Do not eat". But nobody's around. Who will know? Eat the pie. Conquer Japan. It's what you want to do.

Anyways, after I rofl-pwned Japan as the Oda clan, I hopped in the bath, then watched Zodiac. It was actually pretty good. Better than I expected it to be. I'm not a Jake...gaycowboy dude fan, but I enjoyed the movie.

Oh, and I watched The Number 23 yesterday. Also good. I don't know why it got such crappy reviews. Weird as hell. But I loved it.

Today was the fourth day in a row that I rented a movie...Zodiac Today. The Number 23 yesterday. Serenity the day before. And another one before that...One that I can't remember. Of all of them, Serenity was still the best. But then, how do you get better than Serenity? In fact, it's on one of my free movie channels right now. I'm watching it. And those BASTARDS just killed the Shepherd.

But yeah. Movies good. I think I'll rent some manly flicks this weekend. Parents are going out of town, so there's not much else to do but watch movies and not wear pants. I'm thinking...Fight Club, Troy, maybe Serenity again just 'cause it rocks, and anything else I can find with some badass fight scenes.

That's pretty much my plan of action.

Today was a good day though. Didn't have to...You know, get up and do stuff.

Oh, and we got the new fridge put in. It had been sitting in the driveway for a while, and then on our back deck. We had to get one of the hinges made up because it had broken. Luckily, we know guys that do metalwork, so it was easy to get another one. In fact, we got the fridge from one of those guys in the first place. It's nicer than our old one. AND it has a working light. We haven't had a working light in our fridge for like a fucking year. It's glorious. It's one of those...Half fridge, half freezer, two door ones. Freezer on left, fridge on right. Means I can't fit full pizza boxes in there now, but...I guess some sacrifices have to be made.

And I randomly got a cheque from the government the other day. Sixty bucks. Some sort of tax thingy or something. I dunno. My mom said that I didn't make enough money, so they were giving me more. I figure "Sixty bucks. Shiny". It's either going to become WoW trading cards, or a bunch of pizza.

Dave's also expressed an interest in coming down and hanging out this weekend. Or at least, I seem to remember that he did. At youth group. But then, I was fairly tired at the time, and I drank like...eight cans of Coke there, so I didn't have the firmest grasp on reality. Then again, I don't have a particularly firm grasp on reality on a good day, so who am I to judge?

Did you know that they didn't name it Firefly because of the shape of the ship? Yeah, Joss Whedon just thought that Firefly sounded bitchin'. In fact, they made the ship to look like a firefly in order to make the name mean something more. The things you learn in special features on a DVD...

And did you know that all polar bears are left handed? How fucked up is THAT? And how do people know this? Did they go around and ask polar bears? Did they leave pencils and paper lying around in the arctic and see which hand they wrote with? What the fuck?

I don't remember where I learned that.

I'm considering getting a cross necklace. Not for religious reasons. But to ward off vampires. I consider it to be a realistic threat, and I should either get a cross, or start carrying around a wooden stake. Frankly, the cross would attract less attention. I should also get some holy water. Just so I could have a little vial, and be like "Yeah. Holy water." and splash it on people randomly to see if they start melting.

Then again, that doesn't do anything for the werewolves. Aside from carrying around a gun filled with silver bullets, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do about THEM. But then, a gun probably wouldn't be a bad idea. Well, in general. For me, it's a horrible idea. I would be a complete idiot with a gun.

But it would be useful. Normal bullets for teh zombies, and silver for teh werewolves. Covered on two angles.

I'll also need a blade made of pure silver for dealing with certain types of ghosts and demons...

And something else made out of another kind of metal, to disrupt other types of ghosts.

If I can acquire all of these things, then I'll be pretty much safe from all the bad out there. Except Succubi. I would be hella-weak to them. But there's nothing I could do about that except castrate myself, and frankly, I would rather die from leprosy.

I wish I had a friend with leprosy. Then I could add "Leper" to his name.

"Hey, it's Leper John!"

"Hey, it's Harry the Friendly Leper!"

Adjectives kick ass.

I wish everybody just had an adjective in front of their name. Like, as a part of their name. Crazy adjectives, too.

Gelatinous Eric.

Cryptic Sam.

Oblique Ryan.

And dammit, it is NOT irony if it rains on your wedding day. Stupid song. Somebody mentioned it on tv today, so I'm thinking about it. Or was it yesterday? I dunno.

Now, it COULD be ironic, if you changed it a bit.

Like if it was your wedding day, and you were a weatherman with a long streak of being right, and you proclaimed it to be sunny that day, and then it rained. That could be viewed as ironic. But otherwise, it's just sucky.

Target the reavers!
Target everybody!
Somebody, just fire!

Yeah.

And god dammit, it doesn't matter if Stan Lee's not on the list. You let him into whatever party/wedding/club he wants to get into. He's Stan Fucking Lee.

...Huh. If you imdb Stan Lee, it says that there's a buttload more superhero movies in production.

Including Spiderman 4, apparently. Which I'm not sure is accurate...I thought they were gonna leave it as a trilogy...If they do go ahead with it, I guess it's gonna be the Lizard.

Iron Man is in post production.

Apparently they're doing another Hulk movie. Maybe it won't suck this time.

A new Spidey cartoon, although I've seen that on there for a while and haven't heard any news elsewhere about the show. Hoping it'll work out, though...I like Spidey.

Also says there'll be a Wolverine movie. Wouldn't surprise me.

Thor, slated for 2009 with no hints as to who might play anybody.

Nick Fury. That could be good. But there've been a few different Furies. I like the black one. He's badass. But according to imdb, they're looking at Fred Ward for Fury...Certainly not black. But I did love him in the first Tremors movie.

It even says there'll be an Ant-Man and a Silver Surfer.

They're just aching for these things now.

I dunno.

But my head hurts, and I can't think of anything remotely important to say, so I'm gonna go sleep now.

If you can think of more fictional monsters for me to ward off, and what you think might help me do so, then comment! I'm crazy, and need all the protection I can get from things that, in all likelihood, don't exist!

Until next time,
I wish I knew somebody named Quincy. Then I'd be all like "GOD DAMMIT, QUINCY! GOD DAMMIT!" all the time for no reason. It'd rock.
~Kataron

The Octopus Revolution

You know what?

I am just sick and tired of octopi in general. For some reason, it's saying that's a spelling mistake, but I'm pretty sure that's the plural term for octopus. Not octopuses, as it says is right. Because that violates every law I ever learned in English. DAMN YOU, YOU EIGHT-TENTACLED BASTARDS!

But dammit, I can't be the only one that's tired of those bastards telling us what to do. And then inking us if we don't do it.

We must fight back! Battle our aquatic overlords! Defeat them in armed combat! Pun intended!


And for those of you that don't KNOW that our entire planet is ruled by a council of incredibly large octopi, then SHAME ON YOU FOR YOUR IGNORANCE!

I have pictures of a couple of them.

Behold!















Launch Octopus! Perhaps the deadliest of them all! He fires ROCKETS. Yeah. An Octopus with rockets. And we don't even have X to step in and rofl-pwn him.

Another of their ruling council!

















Monsters! All of them!

So we must strike them down now, before they learn that air is breathable! (Yeah, it's not that they CAN'T breathe air, it's just that they don't know they can. Awkward!)

FIGHT ON, BROTHERS!

Until next time,
I shouldn't blog when I'm tired.
~Kataron

Live To Win

What the hell is wrong with people these days?

I was trying to play a couple rounds of CastleWars a few minutes ago, which can only be done well via on-line play. The chat room was hell. People spamming, people being racist for no apparent reason, and people just insulting the hell out of people they didn't know in the slightest.

Come on, people. It's a chat room to play a game. If you're just going to sit around in the chat room and be a dick, why not do it in an actual chatroom, rather than the foyer for a game? Not that doing THAT is a great idea either. But it would get you little fuckers out of my hair, and that's really all I care about.

I personally wish I could send out a massive wave of cyber-death, and just kill everybody on the chatroom. Sure, they're only kids, probably no older than fifteen max, but you've gotta get 'em while they're small and helpless.

Oh, and just so you little fuckers know, a chat room for a flash game is NOT somewhere to pick up chicks to cyber with, you freaky little bastards.

So, does anybody else just not give a fuck about the new Harry Potter book? 'cause I sure don't.

The series reached its peak with Goblet of Fire. It's not going to get any better than that. Now she's just killing off characters. I haven't read the book, and probably won't for a while. I will eventually, just to close the series. I've read all the other ones, after all. So what's one more? But I've got to say, it just doesn't mean anything anymore.

I can't even imagine what the opening day for the book was like. Fat guys, kids, and people wearing those stupid fucking scarves with lightning bolts drawn on their heads in markers. Get a life, people. Seriously. And if I, Nate, can say that and not feel like a completely hypocrite, then you are honestly and truly pathetic.

I don't even care about the movies anymore. I heard the Harry gets really emo in this one. Why the fuck is it that everybody is getting emo in movies these days?

I mean, Spidey does it, and all of a sudden it's cool? Hell no its not! Spidey was a fag in the latest movie. A whiny little emo pussy-boy. Except when he was dancing.

But dammit, being emo is not cool.

"ooo, look at me, i'm unhappy and not accepted, the way most teenagers feel through pretty much all of high school. relate to me!"

You'll note that I didn't capitalize anything. Because it didn't deserve to be capitalized.

I mean, I understand that everybody these days has gone through a rough patch at one point or another, and you feel all emo and shit, but that doesn't mean that the media has to glorify it. Or that people should make a fucking lifestyle out of it.

That hair is NOT COOL. It looks like an ass. It looks like you have an ass on your head. You have ass hair.

You should have your heads shaved in the night. Then you should be castrated, that you may never spawn more of your ilk. Then you should have iron injected into your arms to make them impervious to blades. Because cutting your wrists is NOT HOW YOU GET FUCKING ATTENTION.

God dammit people.

And what's with suicide attempts these days? How pathetic are you if you think your life is so bad that you go out and try to kill yourself? Fucking pathetic. You think you've got it bad?

oh no, he/she/it doesn't like me! My life sucks!

Suck it up you pussy ass little bitches. I will fight each and every one of you. Keep in mind that I'll cheat and fight dirty. But I'll fight you.

I mean, I'll admit that depression certainly isn't a laughing matter, but that doesn't make you less pathetic for being that sad about stupid, stupid things. I know, I've been there. And I was fucking pathetic.

But now I don't remember what I was talking about, so I'm gonna go sleep. The point is emo = lame.

Until next time,
As Yoda once said, "Do or do not. There is no try". I don't think he was talking about suicide attempts, but still.
~Kataron

Reaper Sandwich

All right. Let's try this again, when I'm not exhausted.

Okay, so I left Monday to go camping with Eric, Andrew, Chris, and Liz. I got picked up around noonish on Monday, and Chris, Liz, and Eric already had all their stuff in the van. I took two hundred bucks out of my bank account, and off we were.

We drove a long way. Well, it seemed long at the time. I don't know how long it actually was. I hadn't been awake for a particularly long time. So we drove, listened to music, and eventually found ourselves at an insanely large grocery store. For supplies.

-Five 24-packs of Coke.
-Box of Twinkies.
-A cake, for some reason.
-A MEGA-size thing of Jos. Lois or however the fuck you spell it.
-A pair of latex gloves. No evidence should be left behind.
-A thing of pizza buns.
-Some cheese sticks.
-Four bags of chips.
-Party size thing of M&M's.
-A Risk Board. Yeah. At a grocery store. WACKY!
-And probably some other stuff.

Yeah. Total cash spent there = One hundred and seventy bucks. But Chris put in forty, so I really only spent a hundred and thirty. He paid for two cases of Coke and half the Risk set.

Then we went to a dollar store, where I proceeded to spend another twenty or thirty bucks. Random stuff. Plastic forks we never really used. Some comical banners that we strung up between two trees. We bought three, tied them all together, and placed them between two trees. We had a "Happy Engagement" one, "Baby's 1st Birthday", and "Bridal Shower". It was pretty rockin'. We got a bunch of plastic hats, some plastic tiaras for some reason, some decks of cards, and anything else that caught my interest. Which, if you know me at all, is a lot of things.

Then we got to the camp. Really tiny campground, but all the places around us were free, so it didn't really matter if we stuck to ours. I expected it to be more crowded, but as I discovered, the religious dealy that was going on there was a youth event, so all the young'uns were staying in various cabins on the other side of the campground. And it was a large campground. There were a lot of RV's and cabins around. We were on the very edge, pretty much opposite from the kiddies. Which I guess made it a lot quieter where we were, so that was a plus.

Monday, nobody else was there yet, so we just hung around and did something. I forget if it was Risk, Three Dragon Ante, or something else, but that's what we did. Probably Risk. We played a lot of Risk.

Our Risk games usually went the same way. Andrew and I would start out in an alliance, because we always do at Risk, since forever. Eric and Chris might try to ally to compensate, but with Eric all the way in Australia, he didn't offer Chris much help. Chris usually went for either Europe or Africa, whereas I always took Canada, except for one game in which I took Europe instead. Eric ALWAYS went for Australia except in one game, where he did quite poorly and was on the verge of losing to Liz for most of the game while I battled Chris. Andrew was wherever others weren't. South America, Africa, Asia, pretty much anywhere he could be.

Chris was usually eliminated first, then we'd generally fight bitterly until one other player was out, then declare allied victory. Once, we just took out Chris, and then declared allied victory. We also did that with Chris and Liz, who were allies until I cheated a lot to get Risk sets and crushed them both.

I cheat at games. Just so we're clear. I've got no moral compulsion to play fairly. I mean, I won't cheat horrifically. I didn't just take Risk cards that I shouldn't have been getting to have extras. I just...Traded with Eric. Under the table. Two or three times. To get two or three Risk sets. Yeah.

The game I -really- cheat at though, is Three Dragon Ante. I cheat at that a lot. I think I'm the only one. I mean, the others might lie about what cards they have to fool other players, but that's not against the rules. It's clever strategy. Hiding cards so that you can get above the max number, and hiding the Dragon God Tiamat so that you aren't forced to play him as a last card until you get a colour flight to milk twelve gold out of each other player...Now THAT is cheating. And I do that pretty much every game. It's my thing. Well, it's a D&D based game...And in D&D, I play a Rogue...So I feel that I'm obliged to cheat. Nobody ever catches me. I just confess at the end of the game. Usually with something like "And I only cheated a little!". Yeah. Good stuff. I usually win, though. I'm just good at the game. The only one I can remember losing really badly at, was one that I played with just Andrew. Other than that, I play well. In fact, in one game, I was playing so well, that I kept Eric in the game. For a long time. By the end of the game, I'd given him about thirty or forty gold that he hadn't paid back (he paid some other gold I lent him back), out of the starting fifty gold. And I still pretty much won the match, I believe.

Like I said, I'm really good at Three Dragon Ante.

So we pretty much did that all week.

There were morning and evening services, although we only went to the evening services. The speaker was the same one that was at the first retreat I went on with the youth group. So he's the guy that converted Eric. And maybe Rick. I don't remember. So he was a good speaker.

It was a pentecostal(sp?) thing, though, so...Everybody was pretty much crazy. The whole...speaking in tongues, jumping around and dancing like you're on drugs, lying down on the floor for God for some reason. I'm just glad they didn't have any of that "I'ma touch you and you fall down" crap, because that is horrifying. I would have gone back to the camp if they'd started that again.

But no, it was pretty much normal for one of their things. I've been to a few, so I'm less affected by it than somebody not fluent in crazy religious people would be. A normal person would probably be pretty freaked out. I know I was at the first retreat.

Now I just kind of sit back and stop paying attention to them. I listen to the services, as they're generally well written, but other than that, I pretty much just brought my notebook and wrote in there during the whole things. I got a death story done, a story in which I shoot Bob in the head with a high powered rifle, and I restarted my "Shadows" story. I'm QUITE fond of where it's going, I think it's better than what I had before, and I was working on that for the last couple nights there. So yeah. That was good.

Uhh..What else happened...

We went to the nearby town of Paris and got some pizza on one day. Good pizza, too. Godfather's pizza. Also went to a dollar store, where I bought a very large laminated world map, a cane for myself and a cane for Eric, some of those Hawaiian(sp?) lei thingies. Some pencils. A little notebook for myself and something for Eric. And...yeah, I think that's it. I love my cane. It's black, very light in terms of weight, and it's got a dragon head thingy on the end of it. All in all, it's cooler than Eric's.

We had three tents down there. Andrew and I shared one. That was the straight tent. I called it Man Land, which I now realize sounds a bit gay, but it totally wasn't. Eric and Chris shared a tent, which was the gay tent. And Liz had her own tent, which I didn't care enough about to assign a sexuality. One night, Andrew had gone back to Burlington, so I got Man Land to myself, and I got to sleep on his air mattress, rather than just the ground of the tent, which was really just the ground with a thin layer of tentness.

We also discovered that Heroscape is a REALLY fun game. Heroes from across time do battle on maps that you can customize however you want. The master set that I bought a while ago for like...I forget how much. Somewhere between forty-five and sixty dollars.

Anyways, it had a Dragon, an Orc on a dinosaur, a big-ass robot, some little robots, a bunch of Vikings (one squad and three different heroes), some Samurai, some freaky alien things, and a bunch of soldiers from present day time. Oh, and some agent dudes in suits.

I pretty much always went for the robots. Mostly because the hero has a bitchin' name. DeathWalker 9000. How sweet is THAT?! He also has insanely high defense. Nine, to be precise. So whenever he gets attacked, he gets to roll nine defense dice to try to defend against whatever attack the enemy is using. And pretty much the strongest other heroes roll six attack dice. So that's six to nine. The only problem is that he only has one health. So if they get a really lucky roll, and mine isn't great, I just die. But I've found ways around that. There's a Kyrie hero (Viking chick with metal wings, basically) that grants a plus two bonus to defense of anybody within four spaces. And anther Viking hero that grants a plus one bonus to anybody next to him, and if he dies, the plus one bonus goes permanently on one unit. So if I can get those guys, plus my robot, and kill of the one crappier Viking, I can have a defense of freaking TWELVE. Insane. That's the max amount of dice you get with the set.

I pretty much always go for the robots. Grab the big one, the two little ones, and whatever else isn't taken after that. The little guys have somewhat weaker defense (seven), but they get nine range when standing next to big robo-daddy. Which ties them with the highest range units in the game, an Elf hero with a bow.

So yeah. That's my thing.

Then I bought some zombies for it.

Yeah.

My week was good, though. I certainly didn't end up converted like Chris seemed to think I would be. But I did play a bunch of board games, Three Dragon Ante, and got a lot of writing done, while hanging out with people, so...Week good.

Yes.

Nate sleep now.

Until next time,
Then I crushed Hitler's skull, so that it may never be used against me again.
~Kataron

Sabotage!

I'm back.

But very tired.

I'll tell you all about my week later, when I'm not so tired.

Nate.

You've Been Warned

Well, I decided to go camping with Eric, Andrew, Chris, and Liz. My dad's fine with me heading out for a couple days, so I figure a bit of time away will either do me good, or pit me in unfamiliar terrain with no knowledge or weaponry in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. So hopefully it'll do me good.

Tomorrow I need to cash my income tax dealy to get some money to head off with the guys. Gotta get some Coke. And maybe food. If I wanna eat. We'll see how that goes.

The camping trip itself is technically a religious thing, but it only gets that way during the evenings, I'm told. By that time, I should be pretty well wasted on caffeine, so I won't mind, as long as they don't get into the "I'ma touch you then you fall down and convulse for God" thing. That scared the fuck out of me then, and I don't think my brain could deal with it on the amounts of caffeine I intend to be on.

But yeah. I'm mostly going to keep Eric company. Chris can be...Well, insanely irritating. And by can be, I mean "is most of the time". Yes. Chris is most of the time be...Well insanely irritating. That's how the sentence should have gone. I STAND BY IT. Also, Liz and Andrew had a weird relationship in which they repeatedly broke up and got back together, and are now broken up, so things might be weird between them. So I'm going to give Eric a shot of normal. Normal, ROCKWOOD STYLE!

I wasn't sure if I wanted to go or not, but then I thought to myself...What the fuck am I going to do otherwise? Sit around alone for hours and hours and go on my late night caffeine walks by myself with loud music? I do that way too often, and I'll probably be doing that when I get back, so...I'm not missing much. Eric, on the other hand, is going to be gone until Sunday, and when he gets back, he's pretty much going to sleep, then head out on another camping thing the next day. So I'm not sure what I'm going to do in Rockwood while he's gone. I could hang out with Simone more, but she tends to have a busy schedule. Rick's gone. Dave's in Guelph. Rebecca seems to be staying with her grandparents or something. And James will probably be intoxicated. So it looks like I'm going to be spending a lot of time alone in my room playing video games or trying to write but getting distracted by the television.

But this post is basically a heads up to say "I'ma be gone for a couple of days". If I find myself bored to tears with camping, I might come back as early as Tuesday, but I'll probably be gone until Wednesday or so. I've no intention of staying the full week. To be away from the internet for that long would begin to rot my veins. And I assume my veins are important. For...The transport...of..Caffeine? I dunno. I'm tired. Tired and a bit sad. But that's not the point.

Yeah. You've now been warned. See you bitches when I get back.

Until next time,
Yeah, there's something in the Rockwood water. We climb shit. Like monkeys. I think some monkeys got busy in the water supply.
~Kataron

Explosions Galore

Hey folks. Sorry that it's been so long since my last post, but my life has been hella-boring. Mostly I've sat around the house. A whole bunch of that, really. On Thursday, I hung out with Simone and watched History Boys, which was pretty good. Before that, I'd done nothing social since the weekend.

Then on Friday night, there was youth group as normal. Star Wars Monopoly. I was Darth Vader. I did pretty well, mostly since Emperor Palpatine (Andrew) helped me out significantly. After youth group, we did our Chinese food thing and our lightsaber duels.

I was in my...second...I think...duel with Dave. I started out very well. Took out his good hand. So he switched over to his other one. I expected him to go on the defense at that point, try to cut his losses, but instead he just charged at me. So logically, I ran like hell. I've learned from experience that trying to dodge a charge attack from Dave is fifty-fifty, at best. He likes to switch up at the last second and come from somewhere else. Bastard.

So I ran. Ran, and slipped. Ran, slipped, and fell. It hurt.

Scraped my right elbow something fierce, and fucked up my left wrist. My wrist is still sore, swollen, and unable to move all that much, but...I'm typing this, with only minimal pain, so it can't be that bad.

The scrapes, though...I had the genius idea at the time that pouring Coke on them might help. IT DID NOT. It stung like a bitch. Stung more and more as I continued doing it. Probably because I was regaining the feeling back over time, it was still a bit numb from the initial fall at the time of the first Coking. Yeah.

A weird philosophy guy showed up and watched us. He seemed cool. Also seemed a little bit...high. But such can only be expected from philosophy types.

We also had a visit from a group of people I went to school with. Ginger, Martha, Scott Chen, Tamara, a girl whose name I cannot remember, and Beth. Beth was the most entertaining.

"Nate! My one true love!"

Pretty much the only time somebody's ever going to say that to me :p

She also tried to convince me to go with them when they left. I said no, since the guys were my ride, and she said "I'll ride you home".

Oh, drunk downtown people...

Then I came back, sat around, and then Simone came over and we watched tv until about four in the morning. Then I walked her home, came back and did some on-line stuff, and went to sleep.

Today I got up around two, wandered downstairs, and hung out for a while until Eric came over. We watched a bunch of E3 coverage, rented some movies, drank a bunch of Coke, and started watching The Last Samurai. Then Simone came over, we finished that movie, then watched The Science of Sleep. It was a pretty fucked up movie. Good, but fucked up. And the last part of it was insanely depressing.

Then Simone left.

Then Eric and I watched Constantine and ate lasagna, then Eric left. Then I came on here and did my internet thing.

And that pretty much brings us to now.

I don't have any big rants to do at the moment. I'm quite tired, and I've got to get up to clean the house tomorrow.

So...

Until next time,
Dude, I totally got an erection while I was upstairs, and I'm not sure why. Still have it.
~Kataron

Epic Annoyance!

It has recently come to my attention that Rick LOVES SPACE ELEPHANTS.

These guys.

Loves 'em. Can't live without 'em.









Some of you might be wondering why I'm telling you that Rick loves the Draenei mount in World of Warcraft. But he knows why. He knows why the world needs to know how DEEPLY he feels for these freakish little bastards.

So next time you see Rick, tell him that he loves Space Elephants! It's very important!

Until next time,
I rule.
~Kataron

Homeward Bound

Yep.

My weekend was actually pretty good. Friday night, I can only remember bits and pieces of. I remember Jer coming by the youth group, whom we don't see a lot of anymore. And he brought his hyper-active cousin, as well as Laz and...Girl-Laz. I can never remember her name. I enjoyed the part of the night where Andrew and I were playing Three Dragon Ante, and Laz decided to steal some of Andrew's money and give it to me. He didn't notice until he was told after the game. I didn't notice until after the first time he did it, and I looked up and saw him trying not to laugh. Yeah. Good times.

Lightsaber duels downtown, basically the usual stuff after youth group.

Saturday was good. Slept until one thirty, then got up and tried to figure out what I was going to be doing. Dave and I had made plans the night before to go and see Transformers, and somewhere between then and Saturday, Ryan had worked his way into the plans as well, so we were trying to figure out what showing to go to and how we were all going to get there.

We ended up going to the last showing of Transformers, which was at 10:25, since Paul Horne(sp?) had requested through Dave to join us. Knowing my parents wouldn't want to drive me down there that late, I said "Why don't we go down earlier, and see another movie while we wait?". And so we did.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer was less crappy than I'd assumed it would be. A step up from the first one, but then...That's not hard to step up from. But we enjoyed it, Dave, Ryan, and I.

After that movie, we went to the Wendy's across the street, and thoroughly irritated the employees. It took us about two minutes, once we were up at the till, to decide if we were eating there, or getting it to go. The girl seemed very frustrated with us. I believe she thought we were on drugs. Maybe we were. Maybe somebody stuck the three of us full of needles when we weren't looking. Maybe it was when we were looking at the Autobot car. Josh's car has the rebel symbol on the hood. We saw a car that had the Autobot symbol on the hood, as well as on both doors. It was very impressive.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Wendy's. Thought we were on drugs or something. After we had our food, there was at least two separate occasions on which the irritated serving girl had come by our table to ask us if we were "okay". Dave greeted a strange girl that worked there, and she thought he was crazy. She thought HE was the crazy one. Ha! Also saw Rachel Fairholme and her boyfriend there. They were going to the washrooms. Dave picked the table closest to the washrooms for some reason. They came by, and saw us. So I ducked under the table and stayed there until they'd gone into the washrooms and come back out, and left. Yep.

Then we went back, and hung around a while, then Paul showed up, then we saw Transformers.

It was FUCKING AWESOME. After the movie, I needed a fleet of towels. Yeah. Funny, plenty of action, and to attractive female characters. I continuously thrusted at the screen whenever one of them was on, much to Paul's irritation. He was sitting beside me.

Oh, and something else that's quite important, there's an untitled J.J. Abrams movie that has a preview during Transformers, and it looks like it could be a new Godzilla movie. But nobody knows. It just says the director. It's on imdb, but with no details aside from four of the actors, only one of which I knew of.

Yeah.

After the movie, we hung around outside for a bit and waited for Paul's dad to pick us up. At one point, a car filled with people pulled up. The driver got out, walked up to the locked doors. Well, a slow walk. A meander. He meandered over to the doors and got somebody's attention, who let him into the first inner foyer area. He then talked to the guy for a minute, and got out, got back in his car, and started to leave. I think he said something to us as he was leaving, but maybe he didn't. Either way, I decided that it was a BRILLIANT idea to point my hand at them, and yell "FORCE LIGHTNING!". One of the girls in the back flipped us off, and the driver questioned our sexuality. But I think he was just afraid of my force powers. Intimidated, even.

Then we left, and went to Dave's house. This was at one in the morning, so Dave went to go sleep or play Halo, I'm not sure which, and Ryan and I walked to his house. I was going to crash there for the night. And I kind of did. Just...Without the crashing. We had a nice walk down there, decent temperature, swappin' stories about stuff I can't remember.

When we got there, we had some Coke and started to play the Wii. This was my FIRST Wii experience. I'd never even seen one in person before this. It was GLORIOUS. And a lot of fun. We tried all of the mini games in Wii Play. He won all of them except one. I came close on the shooting game, though. If only I hadn't kept shooting my own dude's plate thingies. I played as a Hitler Mii that Ryan had. Lil Hitler. It was a lot of fun cheering for myself.

"Woo! Go Hitler!".

Good times. After we'd tried that all out, we played the Wii Sports games. All of them except the baseball one. My favourite was the bowling one. It was the one I was best at. He beat me at pretty much everything else. I can't golf because I suck at hitting anything but full powered shots. I suck at tennis because...well...I suck at it. I even lost at boxing. But the bowling was fun. We played round after round of bowling.

Then we looked at funny stuff on-line, and I discovered....

Dramatic Chipmunk.

Pretty grand.

Then we went back and played some more Bowling, and started to watch some Firefly. The first episode. Then his parents were awake. And it was morning. We showed each other our WoW characters (that sounds dirty...), and then watched a European guild's video of them killing Illidan Stormrage. I was -outraged- at this. It's freaking ILLIDAN. You shouldn't be able to kill Illidan! He's better than us! Better!

Then I came home and slept for a couple hours.

Then woke up, was bored. Watched Wizard of Earthsea, 'cause it was on Space. More tv. Wrote a bit. Groaned occasionally from tiredness. Went for my nightly walk. And then came on here and did my internet thang.

And that's that. I'd love to continue blathering on, but I'm insanely tired, and need to sleep.

Until next time,
I wonder why I do this whole "until next time" thing. I've been doing it for years. You'd think I'd run out of things to say. I HATE THE MAGIC TRICK.
~Kataron

Hail Kataron!

Hey folks.

Seems I haven't posted since the wee hours of the Saturday morning. All right, I'll take it from where I left off.

When I woke up on Saturday, my parents were already gone. I convinced my brother to leave by offering him the iPod headphones in exchange for him...You know, not being there. Eric and Simone came over. Rented some movies. Watched Confetti, then two episodes of Clone High, then some Mission Hill, and they both went home. I played with the iPod a bit, tried to figure out how to get it to work. The Simone came back and we watched a bunch of tv, then we watched Black Snake Moan. Oh, and I think I watched Shooter while people were gone.

It was a really good day. And easily my most social of the weekend. The next day was Canada Day, I guess. I thought it was on the Monday 'cause it was a day off...But no, it was on the Sunday. I'll never understand...stuff. I got up, watched a buttload of television. And that was essentially my day. Well, that and wandering around with the newly understood iPod. Apparently Simone called me during one of my walks, but my brother didn't relay that to me until a good hour after I'd returned. Sometimes I wonder about that boy...

Monday was even more boring. I got up, cleaned the house, and played Samurai Warriors 2: Empires. It wasn't my original intention for the day. I started playing and thought "Oh, I'll just do one of the quick ones. There's only six fiefs..." So I did that, rofl-pwned the other five, and was like "woo, that only took an hour". Then it asked me if I wanted to continue and take all of Japan. What the hell was I SUPPOSED TO SAY?!

Eric was off at a job interview, Simone was busy, Dave and Rebecca still aren't back, and Jared was n00bing up the internets. AS USUAL. n00b.

Anyways, yeah. That was my day. Plus some wandering.

Yep.

I guess there's just not much to report in the life of Nate.

Today I got up and cleaned the house. 'cause we've got some sort of mortgage inspector coming to do a value thing on the house. Yeah, we're getting it mortgaged. Or..remortgaged. I don't know. We're poor, is basically what I'm saying here. Very poor. In debt. Owe a lot of money to a lot of people.

Anyways, yeah. I basically pissed around the house all day. Cleaned my room a bit. Helped clean a storage room in the back. Moved some stuff around outside. Had a long lunch. Watched the Daily Show and Colbert report in the afternoon.

Then Eric and I chilled a bit, watched the musical episode of Buffy. I got those DVD's for Christmas, and the only one of six (maybe it was five?) discs that has been played is the musical episode one. Woo!

But yeah. I'm gonna go plot the downfall of humanity. Maybe put the whiteboard on my wall and write something on it.

Until next time,
To do: Conquer Red China
Also to do: Find pants.
Not necessarily in that order.
~Kataron