Barber Pole

Well, it's midnight and the caffeine I quaffed (Yeah. I'm that cool.) at Eric's has run its course...I'm out of cans for the moment. Woe is me!

I've got various bottles scattered throughout my room, and at least one of them is still sealed, but I'll have to find it. Tomorrow. Right now, I'll continue to wallow in my decaffeination so that I may sleep normally tonight.

It's hard to believe that it's Monday...Mostly because I've been working (for further reference, I'll now refer to my job as "Hobo Slayer", because that's much cooler.) a week with no days off. Dammit, Nate want days off! But moreso, Nate want money...So maybe it's not a bad thing. I can get fifty bucks a head, and in a good night, I can bag around seven. But they're learning my tricks. Soon the hobos will be the ones hunting me. But don't worry, kiddies. I've got a little surprise up my sleeve for them.

Yeah.

So, my parents are gone this weekend. You know what that means, don't you?! Party at Nate's house! And by party, I mean nerd-party. None of that messy intoxication that leads to vomitting and whatnot. Only Coca-Cola Classic and all the junk food I can carry back from the store! Huzzah!

Chances are, there'll be a D&D game and a bunch of movies. Quite possibly a marathon. And if I know me at all, and I do, I won't be wearing any pants. Wearing pants during marathons just bugs me.

So if you're free, and can answer one trivia question at the door about a nerdy subject of my choice, drop on by! Unless your presence would make things all awkward and junk for everybody. I'm talkin' to you, giant floating goldfish that's been following me around. I mean, I don't know how you float around or survive without water, but it's getting to be a bit much. I mean, you just sit there and stare at me. Wait, cancel that, FLOAT there. But since you seem to be mute, I doubt you could get the trivia question right. HA!

Comment if you're interested. I know I can already pretty much count Eric, Andrew, Chris, and Rick when he's not working in.

My income tax dealy was mailed today. From when I was working at the factory, before my freelance hobo slaying. It's gonna net me about four hundred and some-odd dollars. I'm pleased, but I don't want to wait. I want it now. NOW, DAMMIT!

And that's only from when I started at the factory up until January. I worked there for months after that, so I'll have more coming to me. Unfortunately, that'll have to wait until next year. Sigh...

Also, I learned that I have seven hundred dollars hidden away in some sort of investment account thingy! My grandmother apparently set it up before she died, which was a while ago now, so it's been there for a few years. It was initially five hundred, but it's since grown to seven. I want it now as well, but I called Scotia Bank, and apparently I have to wait until it matures. It's a long-term investment dealy, so I get a higher interest rate (apparently), but can't touch the fundage until it matures. Which won't be until November...And by then, I'll have forgotten about it again.

Dammit all to hell!

If I could get the tax junk now, and the investment junk now as well, I could have the computer parts ordered by next week! I could be so much closer to playing World of Warcraft!

*curses and kicks a kitten, which materialized before him as he swung his foot, and disappeared as it flew across the room*

The main reason I want to start playing now, is because Andrew and Chris are leveling up and leaving me in the dust. Eric and Rick are already super high (59 and 70, respectively), Andrew's...mid-teens, I think, and Chris is somewhere in his twenties.

And me, I don't even have a computer.

But you know what? At least when Spore comes out, my system will be able to handle it. Hell yeah. Spore.

...So yeah.

I missed Eric's guild raid thingy. It turned out to be at ten thirty, and I didn't have the attention span to wait that long, so I came home and did nothing for a while. Relaxing.

And holy crap, I just realized that Spiderman 3 comes out this weekend. Men, prepare yourself for battle! I don't know why, but I figured that would sound epic.

Yeah, let's see it this weekend. *stretches*

Sooooo....

I'm almost done that mech/dragon story. If I get motivated, I'll post that soonish. I can also post more murder stories, as well as one of the sequels to that Game story I wrote a while ago.

But I'm lazy, so we'll see.

In the meantime, I'll probably post more random story segments around the blog. If you guys like them, they might develop into something more. If not, then...well, I dunno.

I think I'm going to do something with that story segment I posted last night, and it's predecessor, a post from a month or two back called "Story Fragment". It was about a ninja. Doing anything for ya? Ah well...

I've also got a few other story snippet ideas. The kind that might make for interesting tales. We'll see.

Here's one now, that came to me yesterday when I was staring at my bedroom wall.

~~~

The sun rose over the bleak horizon of what used to be a prosperous town. Most of the buildings had been completely demolished, and those that hadn't were now buried beneath the red sand that now covered most of the world. A lone figure on horseback sped across the harsh plains, desperate to return to his comrades. They were in a small bunker on the edge of town, the top of which stuck out of the sand, barely.

The rider raced through town, with a wave of death not far behind him. The low hum had been following him for the better half of the day. He wasn't sure if he'd drawn them here, or if they had already been on their way, but now they were closing in on the remnants of the town, intent on destroying what was left in it. The rider brought death. But at the same time, he brought the chance for life. A hope, a slim hope. But that was enough.

Reaching the small base, he jumped down off of his horse and looked at it uneasily for a moment. Normally, he would go through the procedure of opening the larger hatch and taking his steed with him, but now there wasn't enough time. He would be caught in the swarm, and devoured. But if he left his horse here, the same fate would befall it. Sighing, he moved slowly towards the horse. When he was close, he yelled loudly and slapped it on the rear, a very unsubtle sign for the horse to run. And run it did, pausing only momentarily to look back at its rider. But he had no time for being emotional towards an animal.

Hoping the beast would survive, he opened the smaller hatch and dove in, yanking it closed tightly behind him. His footsteps echoed through the long, empty halls as he sought his commander, the one in charge of the base of operations. His name was Rayner, and he was the only one that had kept the few dozen men alive for this long.

He found Rayner in the conference room, a large room with a single table in the middle, and dozens of maps tacked up to the wall, each scribbled with various points of information.

"Sir!" he began, pausing to catch his breath.

Rayner looked up, surprised to see him back so soon.

"Yes?" Rayner asked, his voice slow and composed.

"They're...they're coming! The Locusts! The swarm of Locusts is coming!"

Rayner paused for a moment, only a short moment, to consider what he had just heard. Then he rushed to the wall, where a small speaker box jutted out. He pounded a button on it with his fist, and yelled into it.

"The Locusts are here! Stations, everybody! This is not a drill!"

Rayner turned to the messenger, a stern look on his face.

"This is it. This is what we've been preparing for since we found this bunker. This could well be our last stand. Now go, man your station. We've got a miracle to pull off here."

~~~

Until next time,
Thrall, look out!
~Kataron

Death To The Living!

Hey guys.

My weekend was...Pretty boring, actually.

Youth group was good. It usually is. Went the same as it always does, ending with chinese food and driving.

Then most of the guys went to crash at Eric's, but I had to get up early, so I was forced to spend the evening...doing whatever it was that I did. Probably MSN, maybe video games. Too long ago to remember. So yeah.

Saturday I got up and spent most of the day away, then got back, played Dark Cloud, which Rick lent me, and then I went over to Eric's to hang with Eric and Rick.

The next day is basically the same, except Rick wasn't there at Eric's.

And that pretty much brings us to now.

Exciting, huh?

Eric's guild is doing a raid of Ogrimmar tomorrow night, and I'm gonna watch it. One hundred and forty brave Alliance souls going forth to battle the evil Horde. Epic, eh?

Eric things they'll do great, I think they'll get their asses handed to them. I guess we'll see tomorrow night. Should be interesting, at any rate.

Yeah, this post is pretty boring, so I'ma supplement it with a random story tidbit that I'll make off the top of my head. You may recognize the theme, but there's a 98% chance that you won't, unless you're a much better reader than I take you for.

~~~

Leland tapped his pencil against his desk repeatedly, either unknowing or unconcerned of the irritation it was causing his classmates. He was intently watching a bird outside the window of his two-story school. His class was on the second floor, which put him at just the right distance to see most of the branches of the large tree that sprung up in the middle of the school's front lawn. It was the only tree there, for whatever reason, as if it had come unbidden and they'd been unable to rid themselves of it.

Tap, tap, tap.

The bird was staring back at him, which was perhaps the most disconcerting thing of all. Staring back at him with those black, soulless eyes. It seemed that they never blinked. And perhaps they didn't. Do birds blink? He pondered for a moment until the bell rang, then the anatomy of the bird's eye dropped from his mind even before the bell's echo had begun to ring through the halls.

He was finished for the day, as his last class was...Well, too troublesome to bother with today. Instead, he left through the front doors while the rest of the students shifted from one class to the next. It was too nice a day to learn about ancient history anyway. Why should Leland be interested in what happened in ancient Greece? They were all dead, and he was alive. And to think on all of the deceased souls would depress him too much.

So instead, he took a slow walk home. It was peaceful enough, as there were no other students cluttering the sidewalk and tossing their pointless chatter back and forth. Leland preferred solitude and silence. That was why he didn't really have any friends at the school. Well, that and the fact that he made a point of being rude to people so that he would be left in peace.

He didn't even notice until he stepped up onto his porch that he'd been followed. The bird had flown all the way the school to his house. Well, either that or this was a new bird, identical in every way to the old one. Leland stared up at it suspiciously for a moment, trying to figure out why it followed him. Then he reasoned that birds had tiny brains, and that the bird itself probably had no idea why it had followed him. Comforted by the thought that the bird was quite unintelligent, he ventured into his house and promptly forgot about him.

He never saw the bird change form, shifting into a small man. He sat on the branch that the bird had previously inhabited and watched the house, his long blue overcoat draping out behind him. A tattoo of a bird was imprinted on the side of his face. He was quite aware that he'd been seen in his transformation. The boy's guardian was watching in secret.

From atop the roof of the boy's house, a small dagger flew. It sunk into the tree where the man had been just a moment ago. But the transformation had been too fast. All the dagger had hit was a single blue feather. In another instant, the dagger was gone, and the blue feather floated leisurely to the ground.

And all the while, Leland was inside, waiting for his microwave pizza to be ready.

Until next time,
I almost named him Leeroy. LEEEEEEROOOOOY...JENKINS!
~Kataron

Doom Machine

Well folks, I'm currently working on building my kickass computer. Chris helped me go through some stuff on-line, and I think I've made up my mind on most of the internal stuff.

I've decided on going the more expensive route, since I think it'll last me longer in the end. Instead of getting something crappier and overclocking with water-cooling, I've decided to forget the water-cooling (for now, I wanna add it later and make it look awesome), and go with better internal stuff.

I've decided to go the Crossfire route, 'cause I think it sounds really cool. Basically, it's two graphic cards instead of just one. And if Tales of Symphonia has taught me anything, it's that double the swords equals double the power. Err...Double the cards equals double the graphics goodness. It means I've got to buy a special kind of motherboard, but I'm fine with that. It also means I have to buy a SECOND graphics card, but for something this cool, I'd say it's worth it.

Right now, I'm looking at the following for my computing needs.

Motherboard: ASUS A8R32-MVP
Graphics cards: Both RADEON X1950's, Crossfire Editions with 512MB PCI-E. Whatever that means...
Power Supply: Coolmax Greenpower...I've picked the biggest one I could find. 1000 watts of power for my compy. Woo! (I like overkill.)
RAM: Corsair 2GB sticks. I'll start with one, then work my way up to four, filling all slots in the motherboard and giving me 8GB or RAM.
Processor: AMD X2 Dual Core
HDD: 2 500 GB hard drives.

And...Yeah. Right now, that's my compy. All those together, with really rough prices, comes to about eighteen hundred bucks, before tax. So it's going to go up into the above two-thousand dollars range.

And that's before I pick up a new monitor, keyboard, and mouse, not to mention a new speaker system. Plus a case. So I've decided to stop spending money on D&D stuff until my computer is born. I'm about to get around a thousand bucks, which'll cover about half of it, and then I'll be getting around three hundred a week, probably, so it'll take me maybe a month to get the rest. If I can get some more out of my parents (my mom still owes me four hundred), it might go a little quicker.

I'm probably just going to order the parts as the money comes in. Maybe borrow a bit from some people, if I can find people willing to lend me money. When I get it all assembled, I buy WoW, the expansion, and a full year's subscription. Then I'll start pimping out my computer with more RAM, some flashy lights, maybe a laser gun of Doom.

If the nerds out there have any thoughts on my potential purchases, let me know. This is the first computer I've ever built, so I'm pretty nervous. A lot of my stuff, I'm getting off of the AMD/ATI website.

Oh, and if anybody has a suggestion for a cool case that doesn't come with its own power supply, but DOES have a window panel thing on the side, let me know, 'cause I need to find one that's not horribly expensive. I was hoping for something in the 100-150 range, but I'd go higher or lower if it looks cool. The case is the hardest part for me to order, because it's really what people look at. If it's not impressive, then a lot of people aren't going to care what's inside.

So...Yeah.

Nate sleep now.

Until next time,
My Processor will smite your n00b ass.
~Kataron

Right Shoe, Left Shoe

Now, I've got an idea for a rant, but I can't for the life of me remember if I've done a post about it before or not.

My guess is no, since the only time the word "Death" has come up in my blog for at least the past four months is when I was talking about Death Scythe. Who is still damn cool, I might add.

But first, I'll go over recent events.

I'm feeling better today! I woke up with a bitch of a headache, but Coke and pills made it go away over the day, so I'm all good now. And, as I handled fried chicken tonight for dinner without throwing anything up, I didn't stay home today.

Yesterday I did, though. Interesting day. Started it all off with a bit of vomiting, then spent the rest of it watching movies. Boondock Saints started the day off, the Predator, which was surprisingly decent, then I ended my movies with V for Vendetta, which I now realize I DID buy in widescreen. I thought I had full screen 'cause the other two I got at the same time were full, and I thought they all were. Huzzah for widescreen! Boo for full screen!

So yeah. Interesting day yesterday. Okay day today.

Aside from the fact that my phone line is now cut off. Something about owing them hundreds of dollars...Bah! I was gonna call Eric, see if he wanted to hang, but then I couldn't. So I started writing.

Did I tell you guys about the Gamma/Delta world? The one that Seth and somebody thought up, wherein a futuristic world gets merged with a fantasy world when the futuristic one fucks up some big time experiment thingy?

If I've mentioned it, I've probably mentioned one key thing I really wanted to see from that world.

That key thing being...

Giant Mech vs. Dragon

Yeah, I figured it'd be cool. So I'm writing it now. It'll probably be one of many mech/dragon battles. Mostly 'cause there are so many types of Dragons, and even more types of mechs...This one's gonna be a generic mech versus a black Dragon. I do not yet know who will win, but so far the Dragon's landed the only real hit, and the mech blew up a building a big-ass gun.

Soooo yeah.

But anyways, you know what pisses me off? And I realize that some of you are probably gonna get offended at this. If you do, you are a hippy little sissy bitch. That said,

I'm tired of people talking about how many soldiers are dying in Iraq. They make such a big deal about it.

Oh no! Six people died! It's so sad!

Yes, they died. Because they're in a WAR. People die in WAR. It wouldn't really be war otherwise.

Let's look back on the past. Look at the ancient wars. Do you have any fucking idea how many people died in them? A crapload more than we're losing now. Oh now, six people died today! Boo-fucking-hoo. Some soldiers way back when got caught in an ambush, and an entire platoon (no idea how many people that is) was slaughtered mercilessly, like lambs.

If you go to war, you don't think "dum dee dum, I'ma get back real soon and see my family!" unless you're a complete fucktard. You think "I may not make it back from this. I hope to God I leave a sexy corpse. So sexy that woman will continue to make the love to it even after I'm dead".

People die in wars. We shouldn't be saying "oh noes, a few people died today". We should be saying "well, at least they didn't all get wiped out by Sith". Because THAT would be a fucking tragedy.

And while we're on the subject of people dying in wars, I'm also sick of the families feeling bad. That's right, you heard me. Sick of the families. Feeling bad. Yep.

I remember watching one of them movies...by the fat guy...You know, the one that makes the movies? Fahrenheit 9/11, I think was the movie. And it had this whole thing about the family of one of the soldiers that died. And how they were all sad and junk.

I remember thinking something along the lines of "Yeah, great. He died. He went to war. You can't assume he's coming back". But probably with more swearing, and an allusion to the kicking of a puppy.

I just don't see the big deal about people dying. I mean, sure, it's bad. I won't deny that. But we're losing more people to violence here in Canada than we are in Iraq, so maybe we should pay more attention to here, hm? So deal with it. If somebody you know goes off to war, you have to consider the possibility that they won't come back. Accept it beforehand instead of just being stupid.

And while we're on the subject of death, I was looking at one of my dad's cigarette packages today. It said something along the lines of "Every year, the equivalent of a small city dies from tobacco use". When I saw that, I was honestly surprised. Not that it's a big number. That it's much, much smaller than I expected. So what? One small city a year? It's not like we're not having way too damn many kids anyway. Population control. If you wanna smoke, feel free to get cancer and die, make room for the rest of us.

But now here's a topic that's much, much more important than.

Square Enix is planning on dragging out Final Fantasy XIII (that's 13 for all you idjits out there what can't read properly) for TEN YEARS. Here's something from Joystiq

" Square Enix is planning to make Final Fantasy XIII a decade-long franchise, according to FF Versus XIII producer Shinji Hashimoto. We already knew Square Enix was planning on spanning FFXIII much in the way it revisited Final Fantasy VII across multiple years and multiple consoles, but now we have a tentative timeline for how long the company plans to focus its effort on the series.

"Different from something like VII, which we expanded upon afterwards, with Fabula Nova Crystallis FFXIII, we've thought about an expansive world setting from the start," said Hashimoto in an interview with Nintendo Dream translated by IGN. "Under the idea of wanting everyone to be sucked into the world for 10 years, we're preparing a number of categories."

Hashimoto also classified four groups of developers working on four distinct aspects of the Final Fantasy series: the Nova Crystallis group, the Ivalice Alliance (Final Fantasy Tactics, Revenant Wings), the Crystal Chronicles group (that works "exclusively on Nintendo hardware," according to Nintendo Dream) and the MMO-centric Final Fantasy XI group.

Does this mean we'll be waiting until at least 2017 for Final Fantasy XIV? It's unclear, but regardless, we'll have to play nicely with XIII's characters for many years to come."

What does Nate think on this?

SWEET! You just friggin' KNOW that it's gonna rock. They can't do something like this and not have it rock out loud. I mean, they're already up to Final Fantasy XIII, and if we look back on the past, their only mistakes have been VIII and X-2. I'd say that's pretty damn good, all things considering. And if you're just counting up by numbers to determine their ratio of good to bad, don't forget about all the non-numbed games. Crystal Chronicles, Tactics, Tactics Advance, Dirge of Cerberus, and probably some others too. Plus two kick-ass movies. I'd say they're doing pretty goddamn good. So I say good on you, Square Enix.

And the way I figure it, it's probably going to be a series of games on its own all based around this world they're designing. So pictures Final Fantasy, but instead of reinventing the wheel each and every time they make it, they only....make it better. Picture a wheel that's on fire. But in a cool way. With laser guns. And naked women surrounding it. That, my friends, is the wheel of the future.

Praise be to the future wheel!

Yeah...I think that's about all I've got in me tonight. I'm gonna go to bed now.

But you know what I just realized? My many many many years of violent video games, television, movies, and pretty much all forms of media has left me completely desensitized to the idea of death.

And you know what? I'm fine with that.

Until next time,
That's when I propositioned the midget. And then my night took a turn for the worse....
~Kataron

I Hate Oprah

Hey guys.

Well, my weekend was...Interesting. Friday's youth group was fun, and people were a lot more entertaining than the week before. And then afterwards, we all went down to Guelph to get Chinese food and sing along with loud music again. It's becoming tradition. Which I'm fine with, 'cause I fuckin' love Chinese food!

The next day I was working. You know, I'm now officially Rockwood's top Hobo-Slayer. Mostly 'cause I killed the last top one. Could you believe that he was a hobo? And going against his own kind! Madness! [Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!]. Sorry. Whenever I hear that word, that line plays in my head. And it happens a lot more often than you might think.

When I got back from that, I went to hang out with the guys. We were gonna get our D&D on, but Eric had just broken up with his girlfriend (again, and if they get back together this time, I'ma sack him real hard), so he wasn't really in the mood. So instead we played a couple matches of WoW trading cards. First it was Chris and I versus Andrew and Rick, and they killed us pretty bad. Then Eric and I took on Chris and Andrew, and we pwned those n00bs. But that was only because Andrew didn't use his kickass new cards from the expansion boosters...And let me tell you, he's got some damn nice cards in there. But anyways...

Then we went for Chinese again, and I ogled various females in downtown Guelph. It's pretty much what I do down there. God I'm lonely. But ah well.

Then we went back to Eric's, but I pretty much immediately headed off home again.

Today I was supposed to do stuff, but I woke up feeling really sick, so I stayed home all day instead. And in doing so, I found the time to get the last trial in Phoenix Wright done. Huzzah for me, for I am the greatest defense attorney in the history of...uhhh...Sliced bread? I dunno. I'm tired.

That was basically all I did today. I hope I'm feeling better tomorrow, 'cause I've got a lot to do in the next week...

But yeah. I think we should all get together and kidnap Dr. Phil. Then tie him to a chair and force him to play hours and hours of Counterstrike. 'cause apparently he agrees with Jack(ass) Thompson that video games are responsible for such things as the recent shooting. Now, whether or not hours of CS will make him become violent remains to be seen, but if he does, we could always start hitting him with pillow-cases filled with...I dunno, kittens? Maybe midgets? I don't care anymore.

The point is, Dr. Phil is a tool. I've never been fond of him. And when I say I've never been fond of him, what I really mean to say is that since I first heard his name, the flames of my hatred have only grown more and more intense towards him.

And I doubt his credentials? What exactly is he a doctor of, anyway? Going bald?

Zing!

So fuck you, Dr. Phil. Why don't you and Jack Thompson go do whatever it is that idiotic jackasses do. Whatever that may be. I dunno. I'm no expert on the subject.

Some people worry that he'll have a little more sway than Jack Thompson, but I'm not worried. I might worry a bit when Oprah starts to talk about the evils of video games. But then, when that happens, we gamers know how to deal with her. Oh yes.

God I hate Oprah. And no, you damn feminists, it's not because she's a powerful woman. I don't give a fuck about that. It's mostly her name. What kind of name if Oprah? Terrible name. Stupid, stupid name. And her show sucks. I've tried to watch it. Couldn't. Same with Dr. Phil. They should both be swallowed by a volcano.

But anyways, sleep now, though I'm not really that tired. Might have to get up even earlier than usual tomorrow. *groans*

So just remember folks, keep an eye on Oprah. But don't watch her show to do it. Don't want that bitch having any more viewers. And to those of you that like Oprah and Dr. Phil, you're idiots. If I ever want your opinion, I'll...Well, I'll never want your opinion. So go cry to your irritating television hosts, and rot in hell.

Until next time,
Holy shit! That's not just a hobo! That's a zombie hobo! A zombo! A hobie! Uhh...Let's go with zombo. It sounds less like a type of food. Less, mind you.
~Kataron

Baffled

I wonder if Frog ever got the urge to bury himself in mud at the bottom of a lake...I bet it woulda rusted his armour and his Masamune, so probably not.

Err...Hey.

Holy crap! A zombie game for the DS! I want it baaaad...

But anyways, yeah. My day was pretty...Nondescript. Got up, did stuff, got home, played some video games. Then I went over to Eric's to hang with him and the lady. We played a game of Three-Dragon Ante. I rofl-pwned them. Hardcore. We each started with fifty "gold" coins, and by the end of the game, I held one hundred and forty-nine of them. And had Eric not played the Rogue the one of the last turns, I would have had them all! All of them, I say! I played sooo well. I think I only lost one hand, at the beginning of the game. And I didn't even need to cheat. I just got lucky. High cards. And then one of the times I had low cards, I found the Druid, so I reversed the whole situation and still one. I bet they're both crying right now over the shock of their horrible defeat.

Apparently they broke up last week and then got back together over the weekend.

Don't you just fucking hate it when couples do that? I mean, if this is just an isolated incident, then it's forgivable, but if they become one of those stupid couples that breaks up every couple of weeks and ends up right back together, I will murder them both. That's just irritating.

And we've all seen those couples. Constantly fighting, never broken up for more than a couple of days. Make up your fucking minds people! It's worse when one (if not both) are cheating. I mean, that alone should be the deciding factor. But too many couples try to forgive and move on.

Now, I won't lie, I myself am guilty of this. And that's how I know it's so dumb. 'cause they're going to do it again. They always do it again. If they can get away with it once, what's to stop them from doing it all over again?

*shakes fist at ceiling*

And you know what else I hate? Our entire generation, and moreso those below us. Because we fucking suck.

You know what I blame? The lack of real punishment as children. I mean, look at our parents, grandparents, and so on. They turned out fine (for the most part), did they not? And chances are, they all had their asses kicked numerous times. And god dammit, they learned from their ass kickings. But nowadays, if you beat a kid, you go to jail. I mean, I'm not saying it's a good idea to hurt the kid to the point of putting them in the hospital, breaking bones and the like, but what's so wrong with a good spanking? A whack with a ruler? Nothing!

Kids don't fear their parents anymore, and thus are trying more stupid things that they know they shouldn't do. And what's worse, they're getting away with it! What can parents even do any more? Ground them? Cut their allowance? What's to stop them from sneaking out and performing various nefarious deeds to gain their funds, HM?!

I say beat 'em! Put the fear of God in 'em! It's been done for generations, and we're still around, so they must have been doing SOMETHING right! Fuck social services. Who are they to tell you that you can't discipline your children however you damn well want to?

That's a little rant that's been brewing for a while when I remembered how much I fucking hate kids these days.

So yeah.

What else is there to talk about...

uhhhh

Yeah, I don't know what else there is to discuss for the evening. So I'm off. Webcomics to read, things I should be doing to ignore.

Until next time,
And then the robot ninja fell from the ceiling, and turned his infrared ninja vision on me!
~Kataron

Airbased

Hey folks. I'd ask you all how it's going, but...well, I don't care. Unless you're me, going back and looking at my archives. In that case, I care! Actually...No, I probably don't. And I don't hit the archives anymore. They're full of smelly smelly memories. The past is past and unless time is indeed in a cyclical loop (which all my tests have shown me is false), it ain't gonna be the present any time soon.

Anyways...

Life is...Uneventful. I haven't hung out with anybody all week. Just movies and video games. Mostly Phoenix Wright. Which I BEAT TODAY. Well...Except for the bonus trial that was added to the DS version. I'm about to get going on that. So...Yeah.

That, plus Dawn of the Dead watching the other night, basically been my week. Pretty dull, huh?

Well, worry not! For soon I'll be venturing far and wide, in search of adventure! Going to bold new places, glaring at people for no reason, and killing hippies wherever they may be!

And by that I mean when my dad won't need me for weekends, I'm going to go spend some with my friends. My friends that I never see. Like Seth, and Scott! I loves them both. And Ryan's gonna be finishing up his exams soon and heading back to Guelph, so I'll get to hang out with him more. And when Sir Fagmos, High Chancellor of Fagtopia gets back from Fagmark, we can all hang out again. It'll be just like old times. Except I'll be EVEN MORE reckless in the spending of my money. Huzzah!

...heheheh...I called Jared a fag. Did you guys catch that? Man I'm funny. And I mean, I didn't do it just once. It's in there like three times. And the word Chancellor. That word is not used in casual conversations nearly enough.

Speaking of casual conversations...

I want to start a petition to ban people from talking about things I don't want to hear about. And by this I mostly mean women talking about their times of the month. Yeah, this may sound reminiscent of last night's post, but it still bugs me. The word "menstruation" and all things related to it should be banned from casual conversation, under penalty of...uhhh...paper cuts! Oh yeah.

Paper cuts freak me out. I think I got two, on different fingers, from opening a Coke box the other day. Well, I was trying to open it via the top, rather than use the appointed hole in the box to get Coke out of. And I cut myself. But do I care? Nope, because I drank a bunch of Coke. And then it was good.

Yeah.

I wanna play the original Wild Arms game. I've been told it was rockin' good. And that one song from it was fantastic. I have no idea what it was called. Sarah had me download it way back in the day. You know, the England one? Yeah. Great song.

I don't know why people bother having opinions that are different from mine. I mean, clearly I'm right. Why else would I think these things? Is it possible that my ideas, my beliefs themselves are faulty? Pish posh! I'm the main character. I can't be wrong. I can do no wrong. I mean, otherwise I wouldn't be the main character. And I clearly am. And if I know anything from video games, it's that main characters can basically do whatever the fuck they want. If I want to enter houses of people I don't know and root through their drawers, or open their treasure chests and take their contents, then dammit, I will! Nobody ever says "Hey, stop, that's my stuff you're taking!". Because they know they are in the wrong. As the main character, the stuff belongs to him. Belongs to me. It's simply sitting there, awaiting my inevitable visit.

And if you disagree with me, then we must meet on the field of battle! Wait...No, cancel that. I know at least half of you would take me up on that. And I don't feel like getting my ass kicked.

And if you disagree with me...Then fuck you!

That's better.

uhhhhh....Yeah.

Hey, what's with cars these days? I've seen a couple cars on the road lately that are just butt-ugly. Two in particular. One looked like the rape child of an SUV or some sort and a car. The other...I don't remember. But I saw it today, and it was fugly.

Why would somebody even bother driving a car that looks that bad? I mean, I wouldn't drive one even if it was given to me for free. Not that I could drive anything, being without license and attention span, but if I had either of those things, I still wouldn't drive them.

What happened to the classic car look?

Why the fuck is everything so rounded these days? It doesn't look good. I theorize that car designers just sit at computers smoking various narcotics and hitting "Enter" in a program that randomly puts shapes together. When they see one they like, they go "Whoa man", and nine times out of ten hit Enter again by accident. The other one time out of ten, the round everything off and email it to their boss. Their boss, who they affectionately know as "Cheese-Fingers" due to the constant layer of powdered cheese on his fingers that he gets from his constant "munchies" of cheesies. He picks them out and random, and that is how cars are made.

Yep. Somewhere around the middle, that stopped being a "theory", and became an "assumption".

The older cars looked better. For some reason, I like the boxy look of hard corners. Or at least less rounded. I'll settle for less rounded.

Uhhh...Yeah.

And smart cars are still the ass. And yet I've been seeing them more and more on the road! No! Don't drive them, you fools! It's all part of some hippie conspiracy! Now, they've been notably absent from the conspiracy game, mostly because they smoke too many drugs to formulate a decent one and then follow through with them. But now they've got you driving around in tiny cars! WHERE IS THE STORAGE SPACE?! WHERE?! WHAT IF I NEED TO DISPOSE OF TWO...inconspicuous...HUMAN-SIZED BUNDLES?! How the FUCK am I gonna fit that into a fucking smart car?

God dammit. Just god dammit. I hate them so much. They infuriate me in ways I can't even begin to describe.

I think I'm done for the night. I can't think of anything else to for me to rant about.

Except...

Ryan, I did not forget Bob. I will never forget that bastard. And one day, oh yes, one day I will hunt him down and make him regret what he did. And if no television networks want to make a reality television show about it, then fine. Their loss.

Until next time,
DAMN YOU BOB! DAMN YOU TO HELL!
~Kataron

Ranting, Raving, and...uhhh...Rot...ating?

Does anybody else have that accursed Avril Lavigne song playing in their heads? Bah!

I hate tampon commercials. I don't think they should be allowed to be on television. I mean, I'll be in my room drinking some Coke, maybe having a snack, maybe consuming some dinner that I've taken up there, and then bam. The television will start talking about "heavy flows". I do not need to hear about that crap, especially when I'm eating, you bastards!

And then there's the ones that don't just say it immediately. Like that upgrade one. Blah blah blah? Upgrade! Blah crap crap? Upgrade! You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you and your accursed upgrades. I will hunt you down and slaughter you like the dogs you are.

And while I'm feeling ranty...I presume the majority of you have heard of the shootings at Virginia Tech? Yeah...Bad stuff, but guess who's already jumping at the opportunity to blame Nate's one true love? Yes, that's right. It's the most hated person in the world!

Jack Thompson is already blaming video games for it.

I don't know the media even takes him seriously anymore. I mean, how many times has he made a complete ass of himself, in and outside the courtrooms? Yellin' at judges and babies alike (well, I assume babies.), he's just a fucktard. And I see no reason to waste further breath on him. For rants, hit the archives. I'm sure you'll stumble across something...

And, since we're on the subject of these shootings, I might as well talk a bit about them. Now, forgive me if I seem a little cold about it, but I can't help but wonder why I should care if a bunch of people I've never met and never would have met have fallen at the hands of some psycho. And I certainly don't understand all the vigils that are being held for them. I mean, yeah, I would understand one in the community where the incident occurred, yeah, but the news was talking about such vigils all over the country. Do you people have no lives? To go out and hold candles in the cold for people you don't even know? What could that possibly accomplish?

Now, I'm not trying to downplay the fact that this is a horrible occurrence and that a lot of innocent lives were lost. I'm not trying to disrespect the memories of the deceased, although it may seem that the opposite is true. But I can't change the channel without seeing some news report on it. It's not that I don't care...wait...Wait, yeah. I guess it kind of is that I don't care. Just like I didn't care about 9/11. Until it comes to affect me personally, it's all just news to me. It's not real. And with that, I'm going to move on to other topics.

Stupid Jared. He's in Denmark right now, probably enjoying himself. For whatever reason (*coughs and points at Girl-Jared*), he decided to go to Denmark for a month. How he can afford the trip, with the flights and all other expenses that take place within a month, I'll never know. Which is odd considering that not long ago I remember him having to get out of a lease because he was so behind on his rent that he couldn't afford to live there anymore...And now he's in Denmark. Anybody else see the critical fault in this?

Now, Jared's my best friend. We've been best friends since freakin' kindergarten. But that doesn't always mean that we have to accept each other's decisions. Now, I'm not saying that I'm going to hunt him down in Denmark with a hunting bow and try to get him with arrows or anything. No, that'd be silly. 'cause then I'd have to go to Denmark. No, I'm just saying that I disagree with this particular option, since it seems clear that he could probably use the money for much more constructive purposes. But then again, travel has always been a Jared thing. I don't really get it. I mean, why spend a bunch of money to go somewhere and live somewhere strange, when you could just buy something shiny and sit at home in your comfortably broken-in chair?

But yeah. Eric is filling in for him as "Best Friend" while he's gone. You can't have a best friend that's out of the country, it goes against the rules. So far he's doing a...Satisfactory job. We hung out most of last week, but then he was boring at youth group. Saturday was pretty good. Didn't hear from him at all yesterday. And I called him today and he said he was gonna call me back after he'd had some dinner, but he never did. So I just sat alone in my dark room and watched Dawn of the Dead.

But then again, he could be a terrible temporary best friend, and there's not much I can do about it. What am I gonna do, fire him? He's the only person I hang out with in Rockwood. James works too damn much and doesn't enjoy the nerdier things in life that I have to to adore. Rick's in Guelph. Dave is fighting Nazi Supermen on the Moon, and when he's not he's in Guelph. And Rebecca's parents frighten me to the point where I'm afraid to call to see if she wants to hang out. And I always forget her number. So even if Eric drugged me and stole all of my bodily organs, leaving me in a bathroom full of ice with machines riddling my body, keeping me alive but not stopping the pain, he'd still have to be my temporary best friend. God I'm pathetic.

uhhh...Let's see...Is there anything else I wanna rant about while I'm tired and uncaring of the consequences...

Well, I could always give a general shout-out to people I still hate. You know...Kathryn, Mr. Coffey, Ms. Norlan, that Rob guy that couldn't take a hint and leave me the fuck alone, people with too much body hair that don't try to hide it at all, and people that drive smart cars.

God I fucking HATE the smart cars.

I think that about covers it. I gotta go to bed now though, 'cause I'm tired. My dad got me out of bed early today. To sit around the house for forty-five minutes....Great.

Until next time,
More zombie movies, please. Preferably with the word "Dead" in the title.
~Kataron

GenosWoods

Hey bitches and sportsfans. I don't know why you've been divided into those two categories, but for the purposes of this post, line up to my left if you're a bitch, and to my right if you're a "sportsfan".

Soooo...

My weekend was pretty rockin'. With my slick talk and fancy words, I got myself out of working on Saturday. 'cause I rock like that.

So Friday was...Okay. Youth group was pretty fun, except for the fact that for large portions of it, Eric and Dave were more or less asleep. And Rick was on this whole "not blinking" and then "not opening eyes" thing. It was weird. Plus Ethan took of most of his clothes and danced around, and Sebbie showed us his junk, although I think I'm the only unlucky bastard that saw it.

DAMN YOU!

I hung around outside with Rebecca and Rick for a while. That was probably the highlight of the actual youth group time. But after youth group, for whatever reason, Dave and Eric were more awake. We didn't want to go to Tim Horton's or McDonald's. So instead, we went to Sun Sun's and got cheap Chinese food, then stood around Chris' car (well, they stood, I sat on it), singing that song. You know the one. The "I would walk 500 miles" one. Man that was fun. We sang loud. People looked at us funny.

Then Dave and Andrew went to crash at Eric's, and the rest of us returned to our respective homes. My night was boring after that. I think it was a bit of South Park on-line, then sleep.

Then Saturday. I'd already gotten out of work (I knew I took ranks in Diplomacy for a reason), so I had the day off to hang with the guys and go shopping. Our first stop was dropping Dave off at home.

Then we hit The Dragon. I found The Complete Arcane, the last in the Complete Series that I need until Complete Champion is officially released. They were out of WoW boosters, so we just bought all six decks they had instead. They were on for half-price...Three for me, one for Eric, and two for Andrew. :D

GOOD GOD. I just found a card on the net that heals you completely, lets you draw cards until you reach your max hand size, and gives you +10 health! I WANT IT.

I would pay damn good money for some of these cards. I want to order a whole box of boosters off the net, but I don't have the credit card to do so...

Seriously, somebody buy me like...this LINKLINKLINK because I want it. I will pay you. Pay you plus some monies.

I need a credit card....

Anyways, then we went to the mall, where I picked up the Monster Manual IV, and bought Eric his WoW Dungeon Companion.

Then we went to Cinema 1, where I bought the complete Tremors movie series on two discs for twenty-five bucks. I was pleased.

Then we went to EB, where I grabbed Dark Cloud 2 and a game called Magna Carta: Tears of Blood. Or something. It had no writing at all on the case aside from the title. Just...Pictures of women. Mostly of the large-breasted variety. It was used, but still cost fifty-four bucks. So I bought it. Partly for the boobies, but mostly because the company that made published it here was Atlus. I've got like...Seven Atlus games now, and they all rock. So I trusted it. And it's pretty fun. So Nate wins. HA!

And I've just made a PayPal account, so as soon as I can find my bank information tomorrow, I should theoretically be able to start ordering things on-line through it...

But always, sleep now, work tomorrow.

Until next time,
What? It's an endearing character trait!
~Kataron

The Undead Tango

Howdy folks.

Well, the site I've been viewing X-Men off of seems to be down. Well, that particularly show anyways. So until they're re-posted, my life will be sadly Mutant-Free.

So let me take this moment to inform you all how much I FUCKING HATE Aboleths. There's one that keeps kicking my ass in Puzzle Quest. That shouldn't happen. I'm level fifty, dammit! You don't get to a higher level than that! Bwah!

Anyways, today was more work, then more hanging out with Eric. We watched Josie and the Pussycats. I love that movie. We went to rent just that, but then I realized I was hungry, and ordered some pizza. Then some guy came in and mentioned chocolate milk, so I needed some chocolate milk. So we went to the grocery store and bought some. But as we were leaving, a large cake caught my eye. So I bought it. Yeah...I still have a problem with the spendings. But ah well.

So that was essentially my day. Oh, and I also got the email address of a very old buddy of mine. He went by the name of MuadDib (see Frank Herbert's Dune) on a MUD we used to play called Cleft of Dimensions. He was my best on-line buddy for a couple of months, and we slaughtered things together all the time. Mostly I remember the flexing contests afterwards. Good times. I think he was a melee character, and I was some sort of spellcaster. Yeah....We kicked a lot of ass together. We even joined the same guild.

It's where I got the name The Vagrant Hearts, which I've used elsewhere since then.

But yeah.

I'd post more, but it's late already and I need to be up for the stuff tomorrow.

Until next time,
I'll punch YOU right in the face!
~Kataron

Orbital Failure

*hums X-Men theme*

Yeah, so today was the working. Pretty boring stuff. Alarm system was buggered, so we had a guy from the company come down. He fixed it up right good, and then he talked to my dad for a while about working on basements. Apparently he's in the process of doing his own. He was a pretty cool guy. The carpet guy that was supposed to show never did. Ah well.

So, I've been reading the DM Guide II, and I'm now in the process of trying to design a kick-ass villain to be the main enemy of the campaign. I'm sticking to the basic D&D world, so all the normal classes and prestige classes apply. My first instinct is "NECROMANCER!". But then again, that's pretty much always my first instinct no matter what I'm thinking about.

For example: Deciding on lunch.

Sausages, perogies, or pizza? NECROMANCER!

Cease example.

But that's just cliche as hell...oooo, big bad undead-summoning dude is summoning undead for various non-living badness.

It would give me a chance to use my copy of the Libris Mortis (book of Undead), but...I dunno. I think I'd best stick to normal adventures for my first campaign.

The NEXT campaign though, I'm already planning out. Starting at the very beginning, the characters will be drafted into the army to halt an invasion of the Undead! Now THAT will be awesome! Of course, that's going to be next campaign, so it's going to be an entirely new set of characters, and won't be used until the characters we have now all either die terribly or max out in the level scale, which is going to take quite a while. It's not going to be easy for each of them to leave their archetypes alone...Eric and his Paladin...Andrew and his Bard...

But none of them need to worry about that for months.

Soooo yeah.

Still need a good villain.

Magic users in general are all pretty much cliche...Big bad guys with the mumbo jumbo that makes you dead. I'll probably pick somebody more along the lines of a melee fighter man. Probably not one of the base classes, but a neat prestige class. I've got enough books full of 'em...

But if you're a player, and you're reading this, don't think that you now have any advantage in the campaign by knowing something about the big bad. I might just pull a switch on all of you. Misdirection makes you never know what's really going on until the very end. Yay!

But for the time being, I think I'm going to stick to piddly small adventures until I get a little more used to writing them, then I'll introduce the big bad.

Yeah....

Oh, and I'm also thinking about designing a zombie survival dealy based on the D20 system. But it's going to be a lot of work, so I'll probably keep putting it off until I eventually give up and drink some Coke. Yeah...That's probably how it'll go down.

Oh yeah. And Jared's apparently going to Denmark. I think he's an idiot and is spending too much money on something stupid, but then again I've never valued travel and I've spent many hundreds of dollars on Dungeons and Dragons, so maybe I'm not one to talk. Anyways, while he's gone, Eric gains "Best Friend" status. You can't be best friends with somebody in another country. It's in the rules.

Anyways, sleep now.

Until next time,
Fagmo better bring me back some souvenirs.
~Kataron

It's not a pony. It's a warhorse.

Hey gang.

My weekend was pretty great, though it's probably going to be the last one I have for a while.

Due to an insanely fucked up delivery from Home Depot, in which they failed to deliver about half of what we ordered, I didn't have to work this weekend. They even tried replacing some of what we ordered with unrelated things...They gave us a bunch of 2x4's instead of drywall. How the hell are we supposed to build walls out of that?! HOW?!

*ahem*

We were taking Friday off anyway, to give them some space to pack up and go to England and whatnot, but we were supposed to work Saturday too. Due to some smooth-talking on my part, and the fact that we would have spent a bunch of the day trying to fix what Home Depot messed up, I managed to avoid work in favour of more...entertaining things.

But I'm getting a wee bit ahead of myself. Thursday night, I crashed at Eric's, for the hanging out, the junk food, and...whatever else we did, I kinda forget now. I think his lady came over. Yeah...Yeah. We watched most of Eurotrip.

Then the next day, Andrew came down early before youth group, and we hung out for a while. We were gonna go to Guelph and buy stuff, but it was Good Friday. So we went to Guelph to see if things were open, but they weren't, so we just ate some fast food and came back.

Then youth group, then Tim Horton's after youth group, then...Well, then we pretty much all went back to Eric's for a night of...weirdness. It was myself, Eric (duh), Andrew, Dave, Chris, and Girl-Eric, who we met up with at Tim Horton's. At some point, we went to Sun Sun's and bought a whole bunch of Chinese food. When we finally tried to sleep (after Girl-Eric went home), it was five guys trying to sleep in one small living room...And trust me, trying to sleep near Eric and Dave is hell...We were up for a while after that lying in the darkness and making references to movie titles that sound sexual at three in the morning. The best one was "Gone in 60 seconds".

The next day, we got up, hung out a bit, and Dave started to make his D&D character. He's gonna play the Fighter. We didn't finish, but we got a good chunk of it done. Name, race, class, stats, stuff like that. We now need to figure out the feats, skills, and equipment, and we're pretty much good. He's playing a Human Fighter, so he gets two bonus feats to start off, giving him three total as a first-level character. Which is pretty damn good.

But anyways, then we went to Guelph, where we dropped of Dave, and went immediately for The Dragon. We picked up their last six booster packs for the World of Warcraft trading card game, and I bought some D&D books. The Monster Gift Set, which includes Monster Manual II, Monster Manual III, and the Fiend Folio. Also grabbed Complete Adventurer and Complete Divine.

Then we went to Chapters, where I found Cityscape, Player's Handbook II, and the Dungeon Master's Guide II.

I still want Complete Arcane, Monster Manual IV, and maybe some others, but they can wait for a while.

We also went to EB, where Chris bought everything he needed for World of Warcraft, and I found the first Phoenix Wright game. I've got both of them now. w00t.

Then we headed to Cinema 1, where none of us actually bought everything. But I'm becoming a regular fixture in that store. I go there pretty much every time I'm in the mall, which is...well, every weekend. And the same guys are always working on Saturdays. They're pretty cool. And, while I didn't buy anything, I DID order the second season of Popular. So they're gonna give me a call when that gets in. That's gonna set me back about eighty bucks or so, but for Popular, I don't care. Such a good show.

Ummm...Yeah.

Then we all went back to Eric's, Chris finished his character sheet, Rick came down, and we played D&D for a few hours, breaking for Rick to go home to have dinner with el bitch-face. Err...His mom. God dammit I hate that woman. I just want to...*searches for randomly specific unpleasant act* replace her left arm with an arm that constantly punches stupid things. In this case, her. Man that'd be funny to watch.

But anyways, the game was good, although I wasn't as prepared as a DM as I should have been...The next adventure will be much better. But we all seemed to have fun, so it was a success.

But now I should probably head off, since I've got to be up bright and early for work tomorrow, then for the rest of the week. Working both days weekends now until this thing gets done, sooo...Yeah.

Until next time,
Readers, I respect each and every one of you. *Bluff check: 16 + 7 modifier* Oh yeah. They bought it.
~Kataron

No, not the beard!

Hey folks. Sorry I haven't been posting lately, but my only on-line time is late at night, and lately I've been spending that on this nifty site.

It's got a ton of television shows and movies all uploaded to various media hosting outlets, so check it out. Lately I've been going through the original series of X-Men. Fucking awesome, it was.

So, I went shopping on the weekend. Yeah...Again...Spent my week's pay, plus a hundred that my dad paid me back with. Still owes me another hundred and sixty. Anyways, this time I purchased the Magic Item Compendium, Complete Scoundrel, and Complete Mage for D&D. Maybe another...I forget. Also picked up a copy of Puzzle Quest for the DS, and a copy of Hotel Dusk. Both good games...Especially Puzzle Quest. But now I'm hooked. I literally cannot close my eyes without automatically visualizing the game's puzzles. And sometimes, I'll be looking at something, then I'll sort of space out, lose focus, and bam. I'll see a row of skulls that I want to connect to form a group of four, thus doing good damage AND giving me another turn.

We also went to the Dragon and indulged in some World of Warcraft cards. It's...more fun than it sounds. We each got a starter deck, courtesy of Rick, and then I bought about thirty-five dollars worth of booster packs to spread between ourselves. Once I'd picked out my favourites, of course...

Speaking of favourites, I got a Thrall card! Warchief of the freakin' Horde!

This guy.

Awww yeah. It costs a bunch to summon him, but he's so cool that it doesn't matter.

Oh, and I picked up a copy of The Pursuit of Happyness (great movie), and a copy of Ultimate Avengers 2. I now own both Ultimate Avengers movies. ^_^

And...I think that I haven't posted since I saw 300, which was absolutely fucking amazing. I mean, holy fuck. I want to see it again and again until I die from an overdose of awesomeness.

Uhhhh...Yeah. Also watched the two crappy zombie movies I picked up, and surprise surprise, they're not as terrible as I assumed they would be. I even saw some boobies. Which is always a plus.

Eric and I have been watching season one of Popular a lot lately. In fact, we've been going through three to four episodes a night. We've got six episodes left, then we're finished the entire first season. I wish I could find the second season on DVD...*sigh*. Such a good show.

Anyways, I've got to work with the old man tomorrow (lots to do since we're not working Friday. We've giving them some space that day, 'cause that's when they're leaving for England for three weeks, so it's gonna be a little hectic.), so I've gotta head off.

I'm also hoping to get a D&D game on for this weekend...Even if it's just the four base players that we started with, I'd be fine with that. 'specially since the group'd be so damn big.

Until next time,
noun: to be an orc
~Kataron