gt I need a life.

Yo ho ho, me mateys.

Err...

Hey.

I have spent the last two days at Seth's, and they've been quite the enjoyable. When he goes to band practice, I steal his computer and play Muds. Oh, that's right. Nate's back into muds. Back into muds hard-core!

Mud. Multi-User-Dungeon/Dimensions/SomethingelsewhatstartswithD.

On-line text-based game, for those of you not in the know. Hella-nerdy. I mean, sometimes other nerds groan when tell them I play muds. The usual response is "What?! No graphics?!" and hells yeah no graphics.

Don't get me wrong. I was the same way when I first heard of the concept. I thought "Fuck, Jared. You need to get a fucking life". Then I got my internet back, and he forced me to play. I still wasn't going to, but he wrote a VERY detailed list of instructions on how to get started with Mordor. I couldn't just let his effort go to waste, so I figured I'd humour him. Lo and behold, it was fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. In fact, I'd be mudding right now, but my mud-buddies aren't online. For Mordor, I've got Jared and Eric. For Cleft of Dimensions, I've got Rick and Eric.

They're both grand.

Mordor is your classic LotR based mud. Lots of races, five basic classes (Mage, Cleric, Thief, Warrior, Ranger). You start off in Minas Morgul and branch out from there. I've been in all sorts of interesting places in my days of journeying. Dol Amroth, the Shire, Bree, Gladden Fields. Oh, how I hate Gladden Fields. Damn dirty hobbits. With their hairy feet. I've even been as far as Mirkwood, and I've made brief stops in Orthanc. That place scared the hell outta me.

Jared and I started playing again recently, and now Eric's into it again. Jared's the Ranger, Eric's the Warrior, and I'm the Mage. They take all the damage, and I just sit in the back casting Magic Missile. I love that spell. It's the only one I really use. I've got others...Burning Hands, Lightning Bolt, stuff like that, but nothing does it quite like Magic Missile. We Mages used to have the "cause" spells. Cause light, cause critical, stuff like that. You just...CAUSE damage. They were my favourites. But now the damn dirty Clerics have them. Not that I'm THAT offended, as I took Cleric as my second, so I can still use the spells and junk. So I'm good. But magery is so much cooler.

Cleft of Dimensions, on the other hand, is a combination of a bunch of old and delicious SNES games. So good. I'm talking...Secret of Mana, Final Fantasy, Chrono Trigger. The recall place is Truce, from Chrono Trigger. In that one, I play the warrior, while Rick does his magic thang and Eric makes with the healing. Is good. That's the mud I used to play back in the day with MuadDib. I didn't realize then that it was from Frank Herbert's Dune, but I still love him. He was my best mud-bud. We used to kill stuff and have flexing contests. He's...Similar to what Dave has right now over Xbox Live with a guy named Paaainguin. Dave's been telling me stories of their exploits over the interweb. Muad and I used to have that. And then we joined a clan. The Vagrant Hearts, we called ourselves...I miss that clan so much. We used to have a Pumpkinhead named Pumpki as our leader. He was a cool guy. We were basically a bunch of bad-asses. Killing newbs, bein' evil. It was good fun.

Yeah.

I also watched a couple of movies here. The United States of Leland, and The Inside Man. Both fantastic. Loved them. I'd recommend either to anybody that enjoys movies that don't suck.

sage

...Fuck. It's started. Whenever I play muds, I start typing like I would in muds elsewhere, I'll be talking on MSN, and I'll begin my message with 'say' or 'gt'. Say lets you say stuff in the mud, and gt stands for "group tell". Good for communicating with your buddies that you're killin' with.

Sage is an emote in Mordor that lets you "nod sagely". There's a normal nod, but the sagely nod is so much cooler. And yes, yes, I'm still aware of how pathetic I am.

Oh, and also new events have come into effect that I'm pleased with. I won't go into the specifics as of yet, as I know that if I do, word will leak backwards and upwards, and I don't want that to happen yet. Either you know or you don't, and if you don't, then a pox on your house!

Speaking of house....House! Season two is out on DVD, and Season Three starts on...Tuesday, I think it is. I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control and I think I etc. You know the rest. Anyways, I'm super-psyched for the next season. I also want to own season two on DVD...But I don't even own season one. I just have Dave's copy. Somebody, buy it for me. Yes.

Seth had a show yesterday. Cost me fifteen bucks to get in, and the only band I was interested in was Lincoln's Revenge. But they're great, so it was still worth it. There were two bands before them, and a rapping chick which disturbingly reminded me of Star from my bus, and was TERRIBLE. The bands weren't great, nothing to be that interested in, and I left after Lincoln's Revenge went on and missed the last band, but meh. I had fun.

*wanders off*

Until next time,
c magic reader
~Kataron

Helping The Needy

My loyal readers! I must call you to aid a most worth of causes!

There is a man out ther that needs to win a bet with his girlfriend. A very important bet. The details I won't disclose, but you can learn about it and help the poor guy win simply by clicking on

THIS

LINK

RIGHT

HERE

Please, help him.

Until next time,
Only on the internet...
~Kataron

In The Nuts

Now, I know I've ranted about this topic before, but whenever I see some new thing with people being stupid, it fills me with rage and forces another rant out of me.

YouTube hosted a video about some people protesting Rockstar and Take Two for their new game, Bully. And I think it looks like a pretty cool game. But in this video, a large group of people is protesting the game companies, and again the companies selling the games. And again the ignorance of these people astounds me...

Here they are protesting video games. Forms of entertainment. When right now there are far worse movies being made, and children purchasing actual illegal firearms. People are drying of drug overdoses, of poverty, of war, and still these assholes find time to say that video game companies are evil and are corrupting children?

I repeat what I've been saying for years. It's the parent's fault. They need to monitor the games they buy for these kids. They need to monitor the games their kids are playing. If they're not going to bother, then they should be the ones responsible for their children going out and doing something stupid, whether or not they've been influenced at all by the games.

God dammit, people! Video games do NOT make people more violent, they do NOT make people kill other people, and they do NOT corrupt the minds of our youth. Some games certainly shouldn't be played by younger children, as many would not be ready for that amount of violence, but it is in the same sense that they shouldn't go out and watch a gory shoot 'em up movie. The games aren't the problem. The problem are the parents letting the kids play the games when they're not ready enough. And to say that it's entirely the fault of video games in a society where so many forms of media are so gruesome and violent. I mean, just look at cable television. Wherever you go, you can see something that kids probably shouldn't be watching, and you have to be aware that they probably are. But are they going to go protest the movie company that's made another crappy movie about pointless killing? Hell no, instead they decide to blame the form of media that's been on the hot seat for the past few years now.

LEAVE THE VIDEO GAME INDUSTRY ALONE, YOU BASTARDS.

I'm gonna grow up, become a computer programmer, and I'm going to make some violent fucking video games. And there's not a goddamn thing you can do to stop me, you commie bastards!

...Sorry 'bout that. Sometimes just have to get that rant out there. I hate them so much.

Until next time,
Sometimes I just wanna kick society in the nuts.
~Kataron

Mixed Feelings

Well, Jared is thus far the victor of our little contest of the looks. I'm not surprised. I've only recieved two votes so far, while Jared's recieved many, plus the entire male part of my readership, though their votes didn't count.

But anyways, tonight was interesting. My father's side of the family was having a little party of sorts to celebrate the 60th birthday and retirement of my Uncle Bob. My dad's side of the family is my favourite side. My mom's side is all crazy and religious and very very old. My dad's side is always drunk and therefore hilarious. It also has people closer to my age...Namely my cousins Jevan, Tyler, Sydney and Kyle. Jevan and Tyler particularly are absolutely hilarious.

But yeah...Basically everybody there save for the youngest of children got drunk. Even I had one beer, though it was handed to me after the guy took away my coke. I'd already had four cans of Coke by then, and the guy was large, muscular and bald, so I didn't really want to argue with him. His name was "Steve". I drank some of it, but not all of it, and then said my goodbyes and left. The rest of my family came home drunk a while later. It was amusing, although altogether rather pathetic...

But more importantly, I got sixty bucks. Forty from my Aunt that lives in Florida that was down for a bit. And then twenty from my dad for going back to the house and getting a mug to settle a bet with his sister. The bet had something to do with the inscription on the mug. It said something about tender times, and was signed by "the bitch". Turns out, they both won whatever bet it was. And I got twenty bucks. It was cool.

We had a fundraiser at the drop-in today. To...You know, raise money for the drop-in. There was a flea market, a barbeque, a bake sale, and a concert. All in all, I think we apparently raised five hundred dollars. Which is damn good. I would have been there more, but I was up late talking to Erin on MSN (I do that a lot, lately). So I was sleeping until noon thirty. Then I got up and did my internet thing before heading down. I bought a Coke tin thing, some hot dogs, and listened to the concert. They were pretty good. The Everyday Saints, and we got them because one of them is the son of one of the guys from the church that is on the drop-in council. Noel, the guy that brings in the karaoke stuff that we use sometimes. His son. They were good. I was impressed, I thought they wouldn't be as good since I hadn't really heard of them before, but I really liked them. The drummer in particular was cool. A very pleasant guy, he got quite excited about showing us some of his gadgets. He was also on a really cool electric drum-set.

But yeah, the music was good. We might have them in another time for a normal drop-in night, so that they could play their music to a larger audience. We didn't get many kids having the show in the mid-afternoon like that. Evening would have been better. But we'll see what happens. I was hoping Fighting Folly would be able to play today, but they couldn't. I love those guys.

I still remember when they played a show on my birthday, and I got a free shirt. Woo!

I love zombies. I love zombies so damn much. I don't know what I'd do without zombies. I don't know if life would be worth living without thinking of the threat of the zombie apocalypse.

And I'd also like to note right now that I would KILL for an Xbox 360 and the game Dead Rising. Ye GODS it looks good. ZOMBIES ZOMBIES ZOMBIES MALL ZOMBIES ZOMBIES ZOMBIES.

*deep breath*

Have you ever noticed how DAMN pathetic I am? I have. I mean, I'm single, unemployed, I sit in my room and play video games all day, barely go out to see friends unless the seeing involves video games or youth group. I get so into video games that I dream about them. I'm obsessed with zombies. And obsessive compulsive. My social skills are...limited at best. I have confessed anger issues, am very bitter towards humanity, and I hate basically ANYTHING that does not directly benefit me. I wear a trenchcoat around at night, listening to music and talking to myself. Basically every night. And I talk to inanimate objects. I knocked my freaking television remote off of the bed when making it the other night, so then I picked it up, apologized to it, AND KISSED IT GOODNIGHT. What the hell? I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know why I'm so goddamn pathetic, but there seems to be little to nothing I can do about it at this point. So instead of worrying about it, I'm going to go read Joe and Monkey archives.

Goodnight.

Until next time,
Dammit, Dr. Wily. Just fucking give up. I should just shoot you. Fuck the law. Fuck it. It never stops you. You always come back with eight new robots, and I'm getting fucking tired of it. Next time, I'm going to kick the asses of ALL of your stupid robots, and then I'm going to slowly charge my buster attack. AND THEN I'M GOING TO BLOW OFF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HEAD. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM ROBOT APPLES, MOTHERFUCKER!
~Kataron

Survey of Champions

Question for all the lady-readers:

Who's more attractive, Nate or Jared? Guys can answer too, I GUESS, but I don't think we'll count your votes.

And to those of you that we already know are HORRIBLY BIASED, your votes will not be counted as well, as agreed upon by Jared and Nate.

*pictures*












There's Jared. My bestest friend for over a dozen years. I lost count as to how many exactly. People have always said that we look similar. But then, he also used to have hair like mine. But I'm planning on cutting it, so...*shrug* Doesn't he look philosophical in that picture? Fag.











That's me. I know, it's a crappy picture. Black and white for one, and I don't know why. Stupid webcam. I'll upload another picture at some time tomorrow, so...Yeah. Jared used to have hair JUST LIKE THAT.

Anyways, ladies, which one is more attractive? I've got one vote me, and Jared's got two votes to his name. Bastard. If you know your vote has been counted already, don't bother voting, unless you want to pop in and say how much better looking Nate is. The vote won't count again, but I enjoy hearing it.

But yeah.

Who's HOTTER.

Part of me knows it'll end up being Jared, but still I host this survey. Ah well.

Until next time,
The next post will be a real one, I PROMISE.
~Kataron

Wind

*obscure reference to popular culture figure*

Hey.

Nate back, after a long night of youth group and Tim Horton's. It was fun, although I very died at Castle Risk. DAMN YOU, STEPH! VENGEANCE SHALL BE MINE!

...So there I was. Enemies all around me. Four of 'em. Tony, the black armies directly above me. Well, directly above my castle, anyway. He also controlled most of the territory to the upper-left of me. He decided "Let's fuck over Nate" and placed most of his units in the space directly above my capital. Bastard. Ethan, my brother, the blue armies, did the same, to the right of me. All he cared about was killing me. So I had two players right off the bat intent on my destruction. Then Sebastian to the upper-right, though he was honourable enough. In fact, he took out Ethan's castle on the very first turn of the game, so he never had a chance to use his armies against me. After that, Tony tried his hand at sieging me. Bastard. He ALMOST had me, too. I survived with only two units on my castle, and I had placed every possible reinforcement I had on there.

When my turn came, I struck back at Tony, taking my eight new armies and laying waste to his undefended castle. The fool had given up defense for offense in order to take me out as fast as he could. But unfortunately, revenge did the same to me. I used all of my units taking out Tony, when I should have been fortifying. Although, if Tony had been given more time, he would have come back stronger and taken me out anyway. I got Sebbi to agree not to attack me, and I figured I wouldn't have any problems from Steph, but boy was I wrong. She was below me to the right, in the Ottoman Empire. I was the Austrian Empire. But yeah, she took out my mostly-undefended castle and got both my castle and Tony's, as I'd just beaten him. Each castle (including your own) is worth eight units at the start of each turn. So she came in after the HORRIFIC BATTLE I'd fought to keep my castle, after I'd taken down Tony after so many forces had come together to defeat me, and she just swooped in and killed my two guys. It was very...undramatic. Given one more turn, I would have been able to hold my own, but I didn't even have the chance.

So I cursed some and stormed out of the kitchen to hang with Dave and Rick. We learned that Smarties can tell you things, but it's only useful when it still has the ones that have positive responses.

But you know what bothers me? All them credits at the start of movies. Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but didn't credits used to come AFTER the movies? I mean, I understand maybe the producer, director, that kinda junk, but when you're going into five-ten minute thing about credits when showing pointless scenes, that's going a little overboard.

Man, I love caffeine. What would I do without it? Probably very little. I'd be like I am usually, but more tired and I'd never smile. Ever. If I found out one day that Coke went out of business, I would die. I mean, not all of me. I'd go on living, but my soul would be extinguished. I'd basically be a zombie, but I'd be too tired and unhappy to go around biting people. I'd just go about normal stuff without saying a word, and with my head always tilted slightly to the right. Always to the right.

*wanders off*

Until next time,
Parrots frighten me.
~Kataron

Snakes On Other, Tinier Snakes

I won't lie. I loved it. I loved every moment of it. Well, except one. *shudder* But that was more my being a guy and thinking "OH GOD NO, OH GOD THAT WOULD HURT, OH PLEASE GOD NO". But aside from that...Grand.

I expected to like it mostly for comedy factor, but I actually quite enjoyed the movie in itself. If it WASN'T funny factor of snakes being on a plane and Jackson acting, I'd still go see it. I probably wouldn't have loved it as much, but I still would have enjoyed it.

But I highly recommend that everybody ever goes to see it. It was worth it to see the day before, definately. Seeing it with my nerd-buddies was grand, too. Rick, Wyatt, Owen, Lan, and even Paul. Paul I can't remember his last name, but Paul! And some other guy that was kind of a dick and talking a lot. Patrick, I think they said his name was. Ass. He was talking a lot in the beginning of the movie, and not bothering to tone down his voice at all. It was irritating as hell. I eventually told him to shut the fuck up, he started saying that I had anger issues or something, I repeated my demand, and he spoke less for the rest of the movie. I was appeased.

That's a huge pet peeve of mine. People talking during movies in theatres. I mean, the occasional witty comment to a friend is fine, provided the friend isn't bothered by it, and OTHERS can't hear you. But if you're commenting to nobody in particular during a quiet or dramatic scene, that's just irritating.

Note: Dave is Spiderman. Note that.

And you know what else I hate? The word "Barrista". You know, what some people in coffee places want to be called? Get the fuck over yourselves. YOU SERVE COFFEE FOR A LIVING. Why the fuck should I call you something other than a wench, a servant, a coffee delivery service? Barrista. Please. *shakes fist*

But it's three in the morning, I'm tired, so I'ma go sleep.

Until next time,
Somebody once told me to "Keep it real". I spent the next week wondering what "real" was. Then I just shot the guy that told me that in the first place and continued about my business.
~Kataron

*twitch*

It's been a little while since I posted. Thought I'd update, but there's not all that much to report. Matt came by a few days ago with the Megaman Collection and the Megaman X Collection, and that's what I've been doing the past few days. Playing the X Collection.

So far, I've beaten Megaman X, Megaman X2, Megaman X3, and I'm most of the way through X4. After that, I've still got X5 and X6, and some weird racing game. Yeah.

But more importantly than anything, Snakes on a Plane is opening THIS FRIDAY. It may very well be the single greatest movie ever. It's one of those movies that...Even if it sucks, it will do AMAZINGLY in the box office. I mean, the internet has been ON FIRE about this movie for a long, long time now. Months. I remember sitting around during spare talking about it, with Justin, Wyatt, and Owen.

Just imagine it...Snakes on a plane. WITH SAMUEL L. JACKSON. The creators followed a classic math equation.

Snakes + Plane = Pretty cool.

Pretty cool + Samuel L. Jackson = FUCKING AWESOME.

Multiply pointless nudity (I saw some people trying to join the "Mile High" club in the washroom. *thrust*) and divide by...Ah, fuck it, don't divide.

Classic math, bitches.

If all goes according to plan, I'm seeing it tomorrow at an advance screening with Justin, Owen, Wyatt, and Rick. Jared would join us, but he has to work for a living. Tomorrow being Thursday. I'm not sure what Blogger is going to date this post as...But anyways, that's if all goes to plan. Part of me quite expects something to have gone wrong. Jared was sent to pick up tickets for Rick and I today, so I'm hoping he managed to get them without it being sold out. It may seem a little cruel to have him pick up the tickets, but that was the plan back when he thought he could attend because he thought it was on Friday. If he didn't pick up the tickets for Rick and I, we wouldn't be able to go. So to make it up to him, Rick and I are gonna take Jared on another day, and pay for his ticket and junk. Because hell, this is a movie I'll want to see more than once, simply because they got motherfuckin' snakes on that motherfuckin' plane.

It will be GLORIOUS.

It reminds me of the midnight screening of X3...That kicked ass. Being there with Jared, Owen, Wyatt, and Mitch...

This is like that, but minus Mitch and Jared, and instead substitute Rick and Justin. And possibly others, depending on how she goes.

Mitch was in a dream I had the other night. No, not like that, you fucking sicko. In the dream I was on a school trip, much like the Wonderland Trip. I think it's mostly 'cause I hung out with Mitch a lot on that trip. That was a good trip. Justin was there. Ah, Justin. *dreamy look in his eyes*

*starts singing love songs*

I mean...*MANLY*. There we go. I love that guy. In a completely heterosexual way, mind you. It was fantastic when he spent the night here before the weekend. Watchin' movies, drinkin' coke, and talking about everything, anything, and nothing at all. Good times.

But anyways, in the dream, Mitch and I were riding a roller-coaster. One that seemed to be built around my old school. Not Ross, the Rockwood one. Weird, huh? Weirder still, after a brief moment of that, it all of a sudden flashed to me in a library with a bunch of random people and two anime characters. Both from Naruto. Gaara, and Temari. It was weird. I seem to recall flirting with Temari. Gaara didn't seem pleased. (For those of you that haven't seen Naruto, Gaara and Temari and brother and sister, and Gaara's pretty crazy-evil. Temari's just foxy.).

And the other night, I had a dream about Eva. 'cept...it was her RP self, Belitseri. And it was set in World of Warcraft. And to make matters even more interesting, she was an NPC. A Non-Player-Character. Meaning she was just a built-in part of the game. I seem to recall running around a small grassy hill fighting things, then going into a tall building and seeing her there. She was a Night Elf. What does it mean? I dunno, but damn did it make me want to play World of Warcraft. So I did, today. Restarted my hunter on Rick's account, on our server. It's not an RP server or a PK server, but I never used either of those things anyway. Got from level one to seven tonight, and I've got a new axe waiting for me when I hit level 10, I'm working on my skinning and leatherworking skills, as well as cooking just for kicks. But most importantly, I'm pretty fucking rich for a level seven. A level seven with no real better alts. All I've got is a level seventeen Druid with not much money. And a level nine Mage. And...a level five Rogue, but he's even lower than my hunter.

Rick sent me two gold. Which is a lot, for me. For those of you not in the know, WoW runs off a copper-silver-gold system. Pretty basic. One hundred copper is one silver, and one hundred silver is one gold. Where I am in the game, I should have maybe...ten to twenty silver, give or take. Instead I've got nice equipment and two extra gold. And Rick will continue making payments to my character, because he loves me. OR ELSE. Because goddammit, somebody neesd to fund my Dwarf's alcoholism! And I'm sure as hell not picking up the tab. Besides, who else would pay for my extravagant and pointless skill purchases and buying things from the auction house? WHO?!

I also had a dream about funnel clouds. You know, like tornadoes, but...Less dangerous. They were mostly just big clouds coming down from the sky and touching ground, but not spinning or destroying. And there were hundreds of them. Very black clouds, too. I think the world may have been coming to an end. I woke up in a cold sweat, eventually fell back asleep, and had the dream about WoW and Eva.

Yeah, yeah, my mind is fucked. I've learned to deal with that by now.

And with that, Nate go sleep. Hopefully have more KUH-RAZY dreams, yes?

Until next time,
I'll get around to it.
~Kataron

Scat Man

Sometimes I'm questioned as to the things I say on here.

Who am I to dish out relationship advice?

Who am I to tell you what to think about philosophy, politics, movies, anything?

Well, goddamn it, I'm Nate. I'm Kataron. I've been writing on this blog for almost two years now. And whether or not you know it, I'm almost nineteen years old. That's nineteen years I've walked this Earth, and nineteen years I've experienced things.

I use this blog to convey what I know, the experiences I've had and the knowledge I've gained. Whether or not you choose to read it is up to you, and I'm personally fine either way. I rarely write this for any of you, as much as I appreciate readers and (most...) comments. I write this for me. For writing. For getting things off my chest. For fun.

I don't make you read it. Well, unless you're Rick. Then I sometimes tie you to your computer chair and load up my blog, forcing you to read whatever the screen will load over and over. But dammit, most of you aren't Rick. And there's a lot of you I'd like to thank out there for sticking with me for so long.

Jared, though I don't know how often he get a chance to read it. He's my best friend, and I haven't seen him since...I think since school ended. That's fucked up.

Then there's Eric and Dave. I love those two guys, even if I do give them a hard time sometimes. They're good friends and loyal readers.

And Rick, too. Great guy. Tie him up, but great guy.

There's also Kristyn and Abby I'd like to thank for reading. I don't get as many comments from Abby anymore, but you two have stuck around here for quite a while since you stumbled on it, and I've enjoyed hearing your comments, reading your blogs, and starting to get to know you via the interweb.

I'd really like to thank Ryan. He's a great guy, a loyal friend and a listening ear, always there to offer logical advice when emotions cloud your judgement. And one hell of an RP'er.

There are other readers I'm sure I should thank. Rebecca, with her occasional comments when she's around. Greg with his lengthy comments that I usually don't read entirely. There's probably even more, but I'm too tired to think about it.

But when it comes down to it, this is my blog. And I've never claimed to know everything. Well, that's a blatant lie, but still. I post what I know. I post what I've experienced. And really, what is knowledge other than simply experience? I may not know everything, but don't count me out yet. I'm perfectly entitled to give my opinion, tell people how I feel about things, what MY experiences have told me. It doesn't make them right, but hell, it doesn't make them wrong.

This is my summer. This is for me. I've just finished High School, and I'm in between two important points in my life. And dammit, I'm going to enjoy it. Don't try to drag me down, because I won't let you.

I'm not entirely sure where this is all going, but dammit, I stick by whatever it is!

I've tried to live my life the best I could. And I don't pretend that it's been the best of lives. I've made people happy, I've made people sad. I've gained friends, I've lost friends. I've even gathered a fair amount of enemies over my years. I've hurt people and been hurt myself. I've experienced a lot. Maybe more than you, maybe less, but I'm content with what I've accomplished thus far. Nineteen years of experiences, scars, and knowledge gained. Whether or not you give a damn about that matters little to me, but at least have the respect to realize that I do occasionally know what I'm talking about. Maybe more than you, maybe less, but all I can know is what I've experienced.

Most of this post is in regard to a comment left on the last post. Read it if you want.

I'm tired of this.

Until next time,
'cause you will hate yourself, in the end...
~Kataron

The Knights Come Marching Home

Hey hey, back again with another edition of...

Kataron's Guide To Dating.

For all your dating needs. Got a question about dating? Leave it in a comment, and I'll get around to it eventually.

*ahem*

Let's just jump right back into it, shall we?

Do not share all of your favourite things with your dating partner. At least not so much that you come to associate one with the other. If that happens, when the relationship ends, you'll have unpleasant feelings towards whatever your favourite things may be, and nobody wants that!

Also, if at all possible, try to get your meals on the day of the break-up to be...I'm not sure how to describe this...Not powerful in scent. When Eva cheated on me and I found out via email, I had fish and chips that night (Overpowering smell right there), and couldn't eat it again for months. And god dammit, I like fish and chips. It's just a suggestion, that one, but it could ruin food for you.

And guys, for whatever dumb reason, most girls seem to enjoy celebrating meaningless passages of time. One month, two month, three month, four month, five month, and so forth and so on in a meaningless jumble of numbers. Eventually they stop pointing it out, I assume, but some can do it for a long, long time. So be warned that they may want something.

But if they do, AND THIS IS KEY, don't get them something nice. Well, nice, but not something you can't replicate or top later on. Because they're going to want something bigger, something better, for a more important occasion. So dammit man, think before you buy her something! If it's expensive, buy it anyway, but perhaps hold it off for what might be deemed as an important event, yes?

And try not to get tied down into a schedule. Because then it becomes dull and routine. Boring. Nobody wants to be in a boring relationship.

And...I think that's all the advice I have to dish out today. For relationship questions, again, leave them in the form of comments.

And guys, one of the main things to remember is that women are all crazy. There are no exceptions. Just try to find a less crazy one.

And womens, remember that guys are as you find them. Trying to change them with only end up in unpleasantness. For you. And don't tell us to stop for goddamn directions. WE KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING. AT ALL TIMES.

Until next time,
Seriously, it's a short cut.
~Kataron

Cataclysm

You know what's surprisingly fun?

Standing on the stone wallish thing next to my house and assuming heroic poses as cars pass by. Eric, Justin and I were waiting for Rick to come over, so we stood on there and did all sorts of poses. It was hella-fun.

Oh, that's right, Justin came in yesterday. Yay! He was gonna stay at Eric's for the night, but since my parents are gone, it just kind of fell into place that he'd stay at my house. So the four of us were hanging out for a while, and we watched The Ultimate Avengers 2. It was pretty awesome. I also rented The Benchwarmers, which I didn't get a chance to watch until much later, when it was just Justin and I. And, as I was told, it was surprisingly good.

But yeah, lots of hanging out last night, and then when everybody left, Justin and I watched the movie, and then stayed up for another few hours, until five or so in the morning talking about stuff. It was DAMN fun. Today we got up just before one, and then Eric and Rick came over, and...Well, I forget what we did. Probably very little.

I also left a mean comment on Eric's blog, linked to on the side of this one. It's the "And Another" link.

He did a satire of sorts of The Hacker's Manifesto, but for Christians rather than hackers. And for whatever reason, that rubbed me the wrong way. It bothered me mostly because it seemed to be poking fun at hackers, although I know what wouldn't be Eric's intention. And so I commented, as I am prone to doing, saying that it irritated me. I also called him a fag and an ass, which I feel perfectly entitled to. It's just something we do, Eric and I. Insult each other.

And for whatever reason, Dave got extremely mad at me for it. I don't entirely understand why.

" Wow Nate, you certianly aren't on a brilliant roll as of late.

Firstly and foremostly, Eric is right, this is HIS blog, and I'm pretty damn sure no one gaves a damn what irrates -you- greatly, because every little thing does.

Oh, and what, the Daily Disciple is his blog too? -You're- being an ass.


Damn Nate, that comment was un-freakin'-called for. Ridiculous. YOU are the fag.


(Sorry about the language.)

David"

I'll ignore the opening pissy sarcasm, and go on to the rest. Yeah, it is Eric's blog, and if the comment had offended him in the least, I'm sure he would have deleted it. The comment was not meant to offend. The comment was more of a rebuttal to his comment on my last post, which was...

" Nay! We should hate the Liberal and NDPs of Canada! They're stupid!"

Being quite liberal and having voted NDP, I was a little irritated at that one. But still, my comment on Eric's blog was never meant to offend him, because I knew Eric wouldn't give a damn. Had I thought for a moment that it WOULD have offended him, I wouldn't have posted it. Because why be a real ass to one of your friends? No, I left a not-serious comment on a post on his blog, as I've often recieved on my own blog.

And for the Daily Disciple comment, I've got no idea where the fuck that came from. I didn't SAY that both blogs were his. Now you're the one being the ass there Dave, because you seemed to read something that wasn't there wherein I apparently said that DD was entirely Eric's blog and not Dave's at all. I don't recall writing that, personally.

And for saying that the comment was uncalled for, I'd say that a lot of comments I've gotten on my blog (many from Eric, including that dang Liberal/NDP one) are uncalled for. Big whoop.

The main thing to view with this issue is the fact that Eric didn't give a damn what I said in that comment. And I don't see why Dave should, either. I don't see why somebody else should get offended FOR somebody. Eric wrote it, on Eric's blog, and Eric allowed the comment without deleting it. And it IS on Eric's blog. So if my opinion on what irritates me doesn't matter, why should yours? You'll note that I didn't post the comment on the Daily Disciple, where I don't deny that the blog belongs to BOTH OF YOU, but I instead posted it on Eric's blog, where it was a personal comment (Again, not a particularly serious comment) TO HIM. Not to Dave. Not to anybody else.

And I don't really want this to be a big issue between Dave and myself, because this is a really dumb thing to argue about. I realize that Dave's irritated at me for my comment, which is why I'm saying that it wasn't very serious. I was slightly irritated because I saw a satire of what I saw as a serious hacker work. I still haven't even gotten around to reading Eric's work. It was an initial view and a random comment that I felt half-heartedly. Yes, I was irritated when I first saw the post, and then I comment. The irritation lasted another few minutes, and then I realized that I didn't give a damn.

But anyways, I've got other things to do. Parents are gone, and Nate's at play.

Until next time,
Oh...Oh, I thought you said "I like Hitler". My bad.
~Kataron

Sheduled Outage

What's the deal with weathermen, anyway? I mean, it's not like they actually know with real certainty what's going to happen. They give us chances of things. Chances of rain, chances of sunshine, chances of BLOOD FALLING FROM THE SKIES AND BLINDING THE WICKED!

...

But seriously, how does one become a weatherman? Is there...Weatherman school, where you go in front of a green screen and point at stuff as if you can see more than just the green? I theorize that they don't really see anything on the green, and they don't have monitors that show them what's what. They just talk and point and HOPE AND PRAY that they're right.

And when they aren't, what the fuck can we do? They didn't say "This is what the weather is going to be, or you can sue the goddamn station". They say "There's a chance of fuckin' rain. There's also a chance of no rain. Picnic at YOUR OWN RISK". Goddamn weathermen.

And what do they get paid for?! Standing in front of a green screen and making predictions. FUCK. I can do that!

*ahem*

Tomorrow, it's probably not going to rain.

Now imagine that I said that in front of a coloured screen, wearing a badly matching suit and tie.

Does that make me a goddamn weatherman? I hope so, I'd love a paycheque.

But damn. Whatever they get paid, it's too much. Get a real job, you goddamn slackers. Something that gives back to society. That or become a drug dealer. Either's cool by me.

Oh, and Rick's back. As it turns out, he was in P.E.I. with bitch the entire time. I'm not sure where I got the idea in my head that he was only there for two weeks, and then ACTUALLY with his dad for one. I can only speculate that tiny aliens planted the idea within my brain in an attempt to undermine my vice-like grip on the world's oil industry. WELL, IT DIDN'T FUCKING WORK.

So there.

Rick and I hung out today and watched some Naruto. It was fun. I wanna be a ninja. But I'm just too damn lazy. I'm the Shikimaru(sp?) of...Fuck, I don't know. He's the lazy genius. Well, I'm that character minus the genius. So, just really lazy. Which is why I don't get out of bed before noon, get dressed only when people are coming over or I'm going out, and don't have a job.

Speaking of jobs, my dad still owes me seventy dollars for the work I helped him do. I wanna get paid, dammit, I'm buying the Megaman Collection and the Megaman X Collection off of Matt.

But the most important thing is:

Weathermen are overpaid.

Until next time,
"What made this even more awkward was that Valentine's Day wasn't for another seven months."
~Kataron

Moderately Indecent

Hey kids, it's Dave. I assume Nate is trying to write a post. He got up for a second, so I interfered. So, I think the question on all of our minds is: When will Eric and Dave's new show come out, and where will

Nate back. Dammit, Dave...

Anyways, as you may have guessed, Dave's over. Randomly decided to come spend the night, so I figured "'kay". And here we are. Interesting story, huh?

Dave wants me to tell you something.

"Hey guys. No. Umm...I just called...To say...I love glue. I just called. To say...I am. A starfish. Go Rebecca. That's it."

Yeah...Real conversationalist.

We rented "The Hills Have Eyes".

Spoiler Alert: The actual hills do not have actual eyes. 'twas but a misguided metaphor, and a disappointing one at that. It was REALLY about mutant freaks with guns and pickaxes. The title SHOULD have been "The Hills Have Freakish Mutants That'll Kill Ya". That would have been more technically accurate.

It was...I dunno, decent. I thought the premise was a bit meh, but it had some decent parts. Some parts bordered on "cool". Other than that, I just wanted to see the one girl naked. I cannot tell a lie. Well, I can, but I don't. As far as you're aware. Yes.

Dave wants me to talk about his show. Some shameless advertising and junk. Apparently he thinks it would be a good idea to start one of those extreme stunt shows with Eric. Where they do really dumb shit (usually involving some form of...Bear) and somehow they always get out of it alive. It would be entertaining to watch, but I know that if I ever took part, I would be immediately killed in an unpleasant way. Something to do with...Pasta.

And according to Dave, Bungie has teamed up with Marvel to make a kick-ass graphic novel. Now, don't quote me on that. Quote Dave. He may be LYING. He does that. But *shrug*. It's cool of it's true. I do so love Marvel. I would marry it if it would just pay me a bit of attention. *dreamy sigh*.

We're currently sitting around my living room, myself stationed at my computer, and Dave playing Spiderman 2 on his Xbox, which he brought with him. Mumbling something about somebody running over Spiderman. Their days be numbered, methinks.

Dammit, I want my Rick back! I should build a robot to replace him until he gets back. He gets back in a couple of days, but still...Robots.

And apparently Dave believes that he and I will start a Country band. Something about rodeos and clowns. Yeah...

I'm tired.

Until next time,
Remember, folks: Watch your metaphors. You never know who'll pop out of your wall with a semi-automatic rice-cooker.
~Kataron

Conspiracies With Nate

You know what I decided? I should tell more of you about the random conspiracies I discover.

So I will.

Okay, so, I know I've mentioned the hand drier(sp?) conspiracy on here before. Those damn wind machines in public restrooms that just DON'T DRY YOUR GODDAMN HANDS?! Yeah. Those. Those are in washrooms because hidden cameras are mounted inside. You may think that images of peoples hands would be useless, but there's an entire section of the Canadian government that uses these images for various purposes. I've been trying to figure out what exactly they do, but I can't get past their encryptions.

There's also the Steven Harper conspiracy. I've mentioned before that his eyes are actually robots. Because they are. Or at least, one is. The other, I haven't been able to figure out. But he's at least somewhat robotic. So...He's not Human. He's either a Cyborg or an Android. I can't remember which is which, but I know that one is a human with robotic enhancements, and another is a robot with Human implants. It's which has more than the other. Yeah. Anyways, the point is that our political leader here in Canada is not Human.

THIS JUST IN!

Rebecca is A ROBOT! She's just admitted it. Oh God, the robots have infiltrated my town! Oh man...Oh man we're screwed. I still haven't figured out how to work that damn EMP machine I have in the basement. I need anti-robot weaponry.

So let's examine what robots are weak against.

Some are weak against LOGIC PUZZLES. I'm too goddamn tired to think of one right now, but Google will give you the examples you need. Google is your friend, and is only part in a few minor conspiracies. Or so I shall continue to believe.

There's also water, if the robot contains open circuits. This is rare, but in the case that you see a chink in the robotic armour, some well-placed water will short that motherfucker out.

Electro Magnetic Pulses (EMP for short), those are the way to go. But last semester it was made clear to me that THERE ARE WAYS TO PROTECT AGAINST AN EMP. As horrifying as that may sound to some of you, it's not a certain robot-killer.

I mean, you've seen the Matrix movies, right? Those fuckers used EMPs with their ships to short out those robot motherfuckers. But in a more realistic situation, they machines would have thought of that, and fixed it. Don't trust in the EMP, man.

Electricity can do the trick, depending on where you get it. You can short out a normal computer with some simple static, but getting a robot would be a hell of a lot more difficult.

But when all else fails, hack the motherfucker. You can take that either in the computer sense, or the axe sense. It's up to you.

But back to conspiracies.

The robots are slowly taking over the government. And they're probably bringing us to World War Three, in an attempt to take out as many of us fleshbags as possible. That's MY THEORY.

And you know what else is a conspiracy? Global warming. They want us to think that our planet is coming to an end so that we try to fix the environment and conserve our natural resources that are running out. And we're not running out of natural resources, man. The planet replenishes. That's just how it works. They don't want us to know this, though. So they came up with a bunch of bullshit about greenhouse gases and rising temperatures. You know why it's hot? Because the government has control of the temperature. I'm serious, there's a fucking thermostat that controls the world's temperature, and The Man is in control.

You might be pondering to yourself right about now "Well, Nate, you're sounding pretty sane right about now, but just which government are you talking about?". Well, little Billy, there's only ONE government. It runs the entire goddamn world. But it needs to make itself seem divided, to fool us. This government, known by some as "The Man" controls everything in a Big Brother-like system.

But why don't they stop me from saying this now, on the internet for anybody to see?

Because the Internet is the one thing they don't control. And they're trying to. They're slowly exerting a grip of control. Soon we'll all end up like China, where people can go to jail for talking about things in private emails to each other.

And WHY can't they control it, if they have so much power?

Because the internet is a natural resource. It is THE natural resource. It's been around longer than we have, and it's been around longer than they have. We didn't create it, we simply tapped into it.

Imagine if you will, a vast web of pure energy circling the planet. Bright yellow for the sake of an interesting visual. No, wait...Green. Neon fucking green. That's what the internet is. We simply absorb some of it through ethernet cables, and tap it.

And while we're on the subject, bald people? Aliens. You don't lose your hair naturally. The only hairless people that are Human are people that shave their heads. And THEY are servants of the aliens. The alien race in particular that is most prominent in this world is known as the Alph. They came from a few galaxies over to sight-see, mostly. They're not as pissy as some aliens, bent on world domination and shit. They just wanna get drunk and get it on with Earth chicks. The women on their planet are...Well, different. The only real thing that seperates them from the men are an extra row of teeth in the back of the mouth. That's the ladies. Yeah....Sometimes they don't even know the gender of the person they're flirting with, until it's far, far too late. Their women are also boobless.

And speaking of boobs, the Human breast actually cintains mostly Gold. Men, while not being disctinctly aware of the fact, are drawn towards the Gold in the same manner that a woman is drawn towards ice cream and soap operas. It's simply the fundamental nature of society.

And rock music? Didn't contain hidden messages about the devil and junk. Contained recipes for DAMN GOOD chicken. You just gotta know how to listen.

Oh, and cellular phones don't give you brain diseases. They prevent them. The robots want you to think that they do so you'll die sooner, and of natural causes. Not that it stops most people from using those damn phones.

But I think that's all the time we have for tonight. I'm tired, and rather gassy. Gas is a sign of a healthy mind. Just remember that I'm not crazy, will you?

Until next time,
The next bald man you see, you tell him to enjoy his stay on Earth. That, or get back to serving his alien master.
~Kataron

Conversation

Hey hey, kids.

I'm bored, so here we are with another blog post.

I'm also working on a character for Scott's new RP board, a Cyberpunk style RP. Oh boy, do I ever love Cyberpunk.

So I thought "Why not write my character up on HERE!". So here we are. I'm going to give you a glimpse of the creative process, as well as have the opportunity to brainstorm aloud, and try to figure out what kind of character I want.

Here's his template:

This first section is on the player rather than the character, which is something I've included in my RP. It's good to know who you're playing with and whatnot, so I like it. Plus the addition of contact information allows yelling to be made when people haven't posted in too long.

~You~
Name: Nate The Awesome
Contact information: Just say my name three times while holding a can of Coke, and I'll be there. If I'm not, then you're DOING IT WRONG.
Favourite dish served with quail: I don't think I've ever had quail. Isn't it rather similar to chicken? In that case, my favourite dish would most likely be the hollowed skull of my mortal enemy filled with Uncle Ben's rice. Plain rice is good by me, but if it's spiced up to taste better without ruining the simple flavour of rice, then I'm happy.

That section's easy to take care of, and requires virtually no thought. As you can see there. The next section is tricky. It's on the character himself. This has to be handled with care, if I intend to make this a useful character. A half-assed character might find himself stuck in a tricky situation with no way out. Also, it's a lot of fun if you really get into it.

~Your Character~

The name is the name of the character. Simple, right? After that comes the handle. For those of you not "in the know", a handle is a term for what you call yourself on-line and the like. For instance, my name is Nate, but my handle, she is Kataron. See?

Name: Terrance
(I've always liked the name Terrance. It just pleases me. Plus it's a comical name for a big hulking mercenary, which is why I'll have to have a more menacing handle. Grr.)
Handle: Thorn
(Hmm...This is the difficult one. This is what my character will be called by everybody else. It's go to be powerful and menacing. Better than 'Terrance', anyway. I could use Kataron, but I wanted to make Kataron more suave than this guy. This is just gonna be my big brute guy.)
Age: 30ish
Gender: Very Male.
Nationality: Moved around so much he can't remember.

Physical Description:

Terrance was never fond of his name, which he changed to "Thorn" as soon as he entered the business of mercenary work. As a child, he was always getting into trouble and fights. As soon as he became a legal adult, he went to prison and spent the next five years there. It was entirely unpleasant, but he did learn a lot about crime. When he left prison, he found that he already had the connections to join the mercenaries, as well as some poorly-installed prison tech he had recieved while still in jail. His favourite of which was a knife-thrower, similar to a crossbow, but firing knives rather than bolts. Knives were difficult to obtain in jail, but the system was such that it could be jury-rigged to fire other objects. It was installed directly into his arm so that it would not be so easily detected by the prison authorities. Given that most prisoners don't have advanced robotics labs in their cells, the tech was not overly effective, but it was enough to get through the last few years of a prison sentence.

When he got out, he found that he not only had the connections to enter the world of mercenary work, but the connections to get his tech upgraded. And so he did. Getting strength and endurance enhancements he could not get in jail, he also fixed his wrist-mounted blade-thrower, making it a much more efficient and deadly weapon. He also got eye enhancements to allow him to see in the dark, and dexterity enhancements to improve his aim with his main weapon. He picked up the nickname "Thorn" in prison, as the blades he occasionally fired from his wrists seemed to resemble thorns. He decided that it made a better name than Terrance, and ran with it.

He wears dark red armour, and has a grim and unpleasant face. Scars cover his body, as well as a variety of tattoos and other such things. His hair is completely shaved off, for dramatic's sake. Other than that, he looks like your basic merc. Big, muscular, and angry.

Skills: He can...Smash stuff good?

Occupation: Merc.

Socio-economic Standing: Makes a decent living off of mercenary work.

Corporate Affiliations: Has worked for various corporations on various jobs, but has no loyalty to any of them.

Gang Affiliations: No gang affiliation, though he does have a sort of loyalty towards one of the mercenary factions. I'll think of a name later.

History: I guess I put a bunch of this into physical description. I don't feel like changing it. I'll think of more of this later, I'm tired.

I'll edit this more later and apply for this character probably tomorrow. Any ideas on improvements? I got bored partway through the prison part due to television playing in the background of this room, and...Yeah.

But now I'm going to move onto a different post, because I plan to write something vastly different than this. If any of you could suggest the name of a mercenary faction, or any other ways to improve this character, I'd be happy.

Until next time,
Daaaaaaaaaananana CYBERPUNK!
~Kataron

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!

You know what I hate? Smart cars. I fucking HATE smart cars.

Who the fuck cares if they're more energy efficient, saving the environment and crap.

Fuck the environment, those cars look like ass. I wouldn't want to be driving around AN ASS. Would you?!

Just think of what people would say!

"There goes the ass-mobile!"

"It's Mr. Heiney!"

"*butt pun*!"

Bastards.

When I see a smart car in the street, I just wanna run out and tackle it. It's so small and feeble that I'd probably knock it down and kill everybody inside, but remain perfectly unharmed myself. That's how much they suck.

And would I feel sorry for the deceased drivers? No. Because I'd know that the world would simply have lost a hippie or two. Who else would drive those abominations?

Sooooooooo.

I've been having these weird dreams lately.

I think it might have something to do with late nights and caffeine, but they're definately odd. Not even about zombies anymore.

Yeah.

So, my good friend Ryan has informed me that he's had three break-ups around him by people he knows this week alone.

What is it with this week, that break-ups may be so prevailant? Part of me blames the heat. It's too damn hot to deal with anything these days.

So, due to severe boredom on my part, over the next however many blog posts until I get bored of the idea, I'm going to present you with...

Kataron's Guide to Dating!

Now, the first bit is the most important. It's the selection of a partner. Pick somebody with similar interests, damn you. Without that, conversations will fall short and eventually die out entirely leaving awkward silences.

But don't pick somebody that's exactly like you, because then it's like you're dating yourself. Or an opposite sex clone of yourself. And dude, that's fucking gross. So there need to be differences, and there need to be similarities. If this isn't balanced, the world falls apart.

If you don't have that balance, then things will most definately die out later. Also as a note, when selecting a partner, observe the age difference. When you're the younger one, it doesn't seem as much of an issue, but when you're the older, you may notice a severe difference in intelligence and maturity. Which is to be expected from somebody younger, depending on how much younger they are. So keep an eye out for that.

You'll also note that relationships are always best in the beginning. Not saying that they'll necessarily degenerate into a situation you don't want to be in any more, but the beginning is always the best. Because everything's new and exciting, and in a lot of cases where the people are very different, you ignore the differences in the beginning and it just seems all good. But if there's badness, it grows and grows as the relationship gets on.

I'm not saying don't date because it'll end up in bad, I'm just saying enjoy the beginning of the relationship for however long you can. With some people, this can carry on for a long, LONG time. With others, such as ANY of my past relationships, it just goes downhill.

FOOD!

Until next time,
mmm...Pasta.
~Kataron

Force Push

You love it.

You know you love it.

LOVE IT.

...What?

Yeah.

The rest of the weekend after that post was good. I did nothing. It was as glorious as I'd hoped it would be. I had no movie marathons, I didn't have a bunch of friends over. The most I had over were two people, James and Ron, and they didn't stay long.

It was damn nice having a nice quiet weekend.

And then on Monday I was forced off to work with my dad again, as much as I didn't want to go. I was supposed to go today, but instead I slept all day. Apparently my dad didn't want to take me to work 'cause it's so damn hot, and I can't handle the heat.

HA!

I know why I can't take the heat, too. It's because I'm always dehydrated. Because I drink only Coca-Cola classic. It's got too much sugar to properly hydrate me. And it's basically the only thing that I drink, so yes.

I was fine with that. I played video games all day and stayed by a large window-mounted fan.

Then I had a steaming hot bath. Why, you ask? Why would I willingly climb into a pool full of very hot water?

To be honest, I don't really know. *shrug*

Oh, right...I haven't been spending enough time on Kataronia *points to link on side of blog*.

ooooo, new characters. And one of them is Wyatt! I love that guy. Well, he's no Justin, but he's pretty great anyway.

OOOO!

Juicy gossip! Juicy, I say!

Dave and Rebecca are a-DATIN'!

Wow!

And remember folks, you heard it here first. Unless he told you.

Oh damn, I was working on this, but then my forum and MSN distracted me...

Sorry, I'll try to come back with a real post tomorrow.

So until next time,
What? You think I come here because I enjoy the smell of footwear?
~Kataron