Gate Keeper

Fuck, man.

My parents are gone for the weekend, so I'm sitting around the house alone, and apparently there was a party tonight. I knew of the party of course, because I hear these things around, but I chose instead to attend youth group and then go to Tim Horton's after the party.

James and Ron (whom I haven't seen in ages) stopped by for a bit though, which was cool, but I was just sitting around on my front steps with James and some people came by from the party.

Apparently somebody pulled a knife and tried to stab somebody. And as if that weren't bad enough, apparently somebody else pulled a gun! Who the fuck brings a gun to a party in Rockwood? A party in Rockwood is NOT a dangerous thing, it doesn't need a fucking firearm. Or a goddamn knife, for that matter. Now, I don't really go to these parties at all, being anti-social as I am.

But honestly...A fucking GUN?! The cops are searching for the idiots right now, and I hope they catch them.

But damn.

On a lighter note, I got Jessie on my MSN today. Jessie from the original Against All Odds RP. She's really cool, and perhaps the nerdiest female I've ever met. Which is...Well, it's hot. Nerdy chicks are hot, and all too few in this world of ours.

But there are movies to watch, and Coke to drink, so I do believe I'll be off now. Just a little greeting and a promise of more posting later on.

Until next time,
I am the Keeper of the Gate!
~Kataron

Fear and Foreboding

Well, I finished off the job at the weird commune with my dad. Glad to be out of there. They were pleasant enough, but really freaking weird.

And I ended up deciding to go to the funeral after all. None of the visitations, though, mostly because they were in Acton. The funeral was held in Rockwood's very own Rockmosa, the larger rental hall in the town.

It was...What can I say about a funeral? It was...Good? As good as a funeral for a sixteen year-old girl can be, I guess...I got there forty-five minutes early and it was already packed. I met up with Rebecca and Caitlin, and by that I mean they showed up ten to fifteen minutes after me and sat with me. There was only one open seat next to me, so Rebecca took it, and Caitlin was directly behind me.

The service started out with a lot of stuff about religion that I grasped but didn't really get into, what with myself being the agnostic that I am and all. But, she was a Christian, so it would be inappropriate not to talk about it at her funeral.

My favourite speaker was the president of the skating group or whatever that Jackie was part of. She made us laugh, even in such a grave time, with stories of Jackie. Which is probably how she would want us to remember her anyway.

I managed to avoid tear-shedding completely, although I almost lost it when I first arrived and talked to Shane, her brother. I shook his hand and gave him a quick hug, and he was being so damn strong. He didn't even frown. I never once saw him frown through the entire thing. Then again, I wasn't watching him at all throughout the service, so I dunno. But when I saw him, he seemed fine. Which means he's gonna crash hard soon, when everything is said and done and he finally has some time for himself.

The other time I came close to tears was when the casket passed by me as they walked it out. They got a white casket so that people could write messages on it. You know, final sayings to Jackie. I would have written something, but I had no idea what I could have possibly written. I mean, what's appropriate for your literal last words to somebody? "You'll be missed"? Cliche. "Thanks for letting me borrow that DVD that time"? Lame. Looking back, if I had found a really kickass quote from the movie she'd lent me, that would have been a good final thing. You know, something clever that nobody would get except her. But I only watched the movie once, and it was months ago...Underworld: Evolution, by the way. That was the movie.

Rebecca and Caitlin did some major crying. But that's to be expected. After all, they're girls. Crying is what they do. And...You know, they closer friends with her than I was. But mostly because they're girls.

When the service ended and they took the casket outside, we met up with Eric and Tara, and hung out for a bit out there as it started to rain. Pathetic fallacy, that is. When the weather reflects the mood of the situation. Literary term. Anyways, it turned out that Eric hadn't been able to make it inside. That's how packed the place was.

I mean, I showed up forty-five minutes early, and it was -easily- half-full by then. It irritated me that it was mostly adults there, while there were kids that actually knew the girl that were waiting outside because they couldn't get in. It irritated me even more that Ms. Norlan and a secretary from the school office found seating, while Eric (who, unlike them is NOT a bitch [most of the time]) stood outside, with others.

But do I feel bad for anybody that didn't get in? Nope, not in the least. They should have come earlier, idiots. Eric coulda come in, but he was talking to somebody outside and then when they were done it was just too damn late. Every seat in the house was filled, and people were lining the walls. Those people knew that the place would be packed, and they came early enough.

After we got outside, we eventually went back inside after talking to people for a bit, and then most people grabbed some random food from the tables and we continued to talk to people. I met a few people that I didn't know before, and I got the chance to talk to Alistair a bit. Not much, but a bit. He was Jackie's boyfriend, so...it hit him pretty hard. Understandably.

But yeah. It was raining harder when Eric and I left (we were among the last teens to leave, leaving a room still filled with older people who were very un-interesting), and we went to the pop machine outside of Foodland to get some Coke/Sprite. Eric's drinking Sprite now. Fag. At least it's a Coke product, though.

I got soaked, but...I dunno. It wasn't a terrible evening, and I managed to not see the body once, so I don't have too much of that icky 'closure' that people talk so much about. Take that, Greg! It was an open-casket ceremony, but I was seated around the middle, and at every moment I looked towards the casket, the view of the actual body was blocked by one person or another.

But I must admit, this entire situation has got me thinking about death in general. It's an easy thing, to die. I could die right now. I mean, especially after watching medical shows like House, I realize that I have no fucking clue what's going on inside my body. I don't get a roller-coaster view of my insides like on that show. So...For all I know, I could just keel over in the next ten seconds.

Not that I'm going to let the imminence of death deter me at all, from doing anything. I hate the people that get up in the morning and think to themselves "Why bother doing anything? I'm just going to die anyway". Fuckers. I'm willing to admit that I can die at any moment. But I'm also willing to admit that I might not die. And as I've got almost nineteen years of evidence that seems to support the "living" theory, I might as well run with that, as it prepares me more for the "just in case" that I might survive another day.

But I'm just going to say this now. If one of my good friends dies. And by good friends, I mean VERY good friends. Jared, James, Eric, Dave, and a few others. If any of them dies, and I even so much as suspect any sign of foul play, then by the Gods, I'm going to avenge your death!

Thus have I sworn it.

But I also thought about what will happen when I die. I mean, if it happens in the near future, then I will have little to no say in the funeral proceedings. They'll be the same old dull funerals that you hear so much about. Do I want people to be sad at my funeral? Well, yeah. It'd be nice. For me. To feel the love from beyond the grave. But more importantly than that, do I want them to be caffeinated? YES!

I want mine to be a funeral that people will remember to the end of their days. I want people to be able to look back, ten years after my death, and say "Oh, Nate...". That's what I want, dammit.

I've talked about wanting an open chinese buffet, too, but I recently realized that that's probably expensive. And as I'd want enough Coke there to keep people wired, the budget should be concentrated on that. That and a live band. Preferably one that doles out video game themes. Because dammit, there are sad video game themes out there that are appropriate for funerals.

But my eyelids grow heavy, so I believe I shall continue watching television, then sleep. Yes, that seems appropriate.

Until next time,
And my body goes to science. But not normal science. Mad science. The kind that will bring me back as a bloodthirsty zombie.
~Kataron

Sadness And Sorrow

Hey. I haven't gotten a chance on here for a couple days 'cause I've been working with my dad on a job he's got. Easy stuff, but I'm rather sore from lifting some tables...But that's not the point of this blog entry.

My day started out going fairly well today, with Sarah and Veronica coming over, having biked into Rockwood. We played video games and watched four episodes of House.

But things got particularly unpleasant later when I found out what happened on Friday. I heard that there was some commotion on Friday night, but I had no idea what it was until today.

Jackie Klooster is dead.

It was her sixteenth birthday on Friday. In fact, I saw her and a large group of friends across the street from the drop-in when I spoke with James outside before going in.

Apparently, they were driving around near her house later that night, Jackie at the driver's seat, and they hit a pot-hole going too fast. From what I heard, she (as well as a few others, I think) came flying out of the car. The car flipped over and literally landed on her. James told me that her brother Shane heard it happen or something, and came out and literally lifted the vehicle off of her. James also said that he dislocated his shoulder in the process.

It's...A tradegy. I can't remember the last time something like this happened in Rockwood. It's such a small town...Nothing like this can happen without it affecting a large population of the people.

I don't even know what to think. I didn't know her particularly well, but I liked her. We talked sometimes on the bus, as she was one of the kids that sat at the front all the time, like myself. She even lent me her Underworld: Evolution DVD right after it came out.

We weren't what I would consider friends, but...Damn.

When I first heard it, I didn't really believe it. I couldn't think that it would possibly be true. She was such a nice girl...She didn't deserve this.

I could say that it's not fair, but it would be dumb to say that. Because of course it's not fair. It goes without saying.

I can't even imagine what it's like for the family right now. From what I hear, Shane's still in a sort of shock, as if it hasn't fully sunk in yet. The mother is in what I heard described as "robot mode", doing things without really thinking about them. Small, stupid tasks to get her mind off of what happened, cooking and the like.

She had only just finished grade ten. It's...Sort of a shock when somebody younger than you dies. Well, when anybody at all dies. But when I think of all of the things I've experienced in the last three years, things that she will never experience, I tear up. And I'm not one to cry, but...Damn.

Things like this make people realize that you can die at any time. I realized that years ago, and have since grown concious that if I even slip and fall down, I could hit my head on a rock and be no more. It can come at you from out of the blue. So...Be aware. I'm not saying be paranoid, like I am, but just...Be aware.

The death of somebody you know makes you feel a new appreciation for the things you already have. For your friends, your family, yourself. And that's sad. It shouldn't just be when you lose something that you appreciate these things, it should be all the time. Spend time with your friends. Spend time with your family. The latter may not sound like much fun, but you never know how long you'll have them. Or how long they'll have you.

I send out my pity to her friends and family, to the people that are most affected by her loss.

There's a private viewing tomorrow, and another viewing the day after. The funeral is on Wednesday, but I'm not sure if I'll go to any of these things.

I of course mean no offense or disrespect, but I can't stand funerals. I prefer to mourn in my own way, in a more private way, and to try to steel my emotions.

James told me that they're encouraging people to donate money to some sort of skate thing that she was a part of, but I know very little about that. He also said that they were encouraging people to donate their hair for a cancer charity. James and I are planning on doing that. The hair one. I'd donate money to the other one, but I don't really have any.

I just...Yeah.

Things are still pretty weird around here, and I expect that to last for a while, but...I have to work with my dad tomorrow, so I need to get some sleep.

Thanks for reading, and sorry that the post is so...solemn. I'll try to post more when I'm done this job, and tomorrow should be the last day. After that, my dad is going back to his other job, so I should be free to sleep in and spend more time on-line.

So...

Until next time,
It may sound cliche, but Rest In Peace, Jackie. I know I won't tonight.
~Kataron

Heroes

I jogged tonight, and I ache all over. Well...That's not entirely true. Best I can tell, my left arm is fine. The rest of me aches, though. Yes.

And on my way home from the jogging, I witnessed two vehicles performing illegal u-turns. Right by where I was standing. Had I continued standing there, I'da been hit. The first was a van, and I didn't recognize anybody in it, but apparently somebody recognized me...Or was drunk. Either way, they popped out the sun-roof, pointed at me, and yelled "YES!" a couple of times. The second car had someone in the backseat mooning me.

God damn, I have people sometimes. Wait...No...Always. Yep. Always hate those fuckers. The only way free of redemption from my hatred is to:

A) Read my blog and comment frequently.

B) Send me money, or buy me things. Preferably edible, caffeinated, or shiny.

Yes.

I'm fucking tired.

I've been doing little to nothing lately.

My day generally goes as follows:

Wake up at noon. Sometimes slightly past noon, and then I get irritated, 'cause I miss the start of Seven Days.

Noon brings about the aforementioned show, Seven Days. Time traveller goes back in time a week, fixes terrible events. And he's a drinking womanizer! WOO! Favourite kind of hero, I tells ya. Today's episode had Kayleigh(sp?) from Firefly playing a cute psychic. Yep.

Anyways, after that show, I watch two episodes of Deep Space Nine. I love it. After that, there's three episodes of The Next Generation, but...I tire of that one. It doesn't have a cool war agains the Dominion like DS9...No offense to TNG, I don't hate it or anything, it's just...I dunno. I LOVE Patrick Stewart, and don't think for a moment that I don't watch it because of the cast. Well, fuck everybody else, I just love Patrick Stewart. And the guy that plays Data, and the guy that plays Geordi. Riker's okay, I guess. Yes.

Anyways, then I play video games until dinner is ready, then I generally watch television, then it gets dark, and I don my trenchcoat and discman to wander around Rockwood talking to myself.

Tonight's topic was Dark Kataron, a character I'm preparing for my Agains All Odds RP. I was trying to figure out a weapon that wasn't cliche, that could be used by a character that majorly does the darkness bit. The scythe is the obvious choice, but after Magus and Lynx (Chrono Trigger and Chrono Cross, respectively), plus...You know, The Grim Reaper, Scythes have become cliche for dark dudes. So I wanted to go with something different. I want to be able to strike from the shadows with a killing blow, but I also wanted to be able to hold my own in melee combat. Not..You know, kick the ass in melee, just hold my own. I mean, I wanna go more magic-user than fighter, so I just need something I can deal with.

So first, I thought: Swords. But swords have been done to death. Swords bore me.

Axes are somewhat better, but didn't suit my character.

Polearms also didn't fit, nor did any sort of throwing weapon.

Daggers seemed cool, but how does one fight close-range with one of those? I mean, it's a tiny dagger against...I dunno, a giant fucking sword or something. Not a fight I'd like to get into. So daggers were out.

It took me half an hour to think "Man, why not just have two sets of weapons? A stealth set, and a fighting set?". Hell yes. So for stealth, two long curved daggers. Pop out of the shadows, bring those both down on somebody's throat, and BAM!

For normal combat, I pondered for a while before deciding "Fuck it. Swallow".

TANGENT: Apparently Heath Ledger or however the fuck you spell his name may be playing the Joker in the upcoming Batman movie. I dunno how well that'd go, but...Better than Mark Hamill(sp?), methinks.

For those of you not in the know, a swallow is a weapon I first saw in Chrono Cross, used by the main character, Serge. It's basically a staff with blades on either end. You've got reach, you've got strength, and you've got something you can defend with. Sexy.

But I'm gonna go finish watching Attack of the Show and sleep, I think.

Until next time,
Hmph.
~Kataron

There Was A Hole Here

Greetings, folks.

Well, my weekend rocked. Parents were out of town, so Dave, Eric, and Andrew came down for a movie marathon. But before that, we went out to see the new Pirates of the Carribean(sp?) movie. It rocked pretty hard.

So for the movie marathon, we had Spiderman, Spiderman 2, Mystery Men, Batman Begins, and we HAD the Ultimate Avengers, but it was six in the morning by then and most of us wanted sleep, so we cleaned up and they went to Eric's house to sleep, and I went to bed until the wee hours of the afternoon. 'twas good.

Then yesterday, I watched Office Space with Rick before he left.

Bastard.

Have I told you why he's a bastard yet? No?!

Well, he's a bastard because he lied to me. And the others. He said he was going to spend three weeks travelling with his dad, but in reality, it's only ONE week. The other two weeks, he's spending with bitchface (Kathryn) and the family of Bitchface in P.E.I. BWAGHATA!

I don't like being LIED TO. He said he did it because he knows that we're not fond of her, and didn't want to spend his last time here arguing about it, but damn. Nobody should lie to Nate. I saw threw it, anyway, I just had no proof for what I thought about it, until Rick's mom came out and talked about it while I was in the other room.

Bwah...

So when he gets back, I'm probably gonna kick him in the nuts. Until then, I have his house key, so I could technically go over there and play video games whenever I want, though I doubt I will.

The RP is going well...If you haven't checked it out, the link is on the right side of the blog. Kataronia, it's on the bottom of that board. It's going well.

I'd like to wish a public HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to Ryan. I already said it to him directly, but now it's on the blog. His birthday was yesterday, and he's now twenty years of age. I love that guy.

But for now, I have to go email Rick, making up a series of exciting things that happened in Rockwood while he was gone. There'll be an email every day he's gone, because I'm that bored.

Until next time,
Matoya's HOT! With...DESTINY!
~Kataron

Dirge For The Frosty Plains

Tonight's youth group was...Fun, for a change.

The kids couldn't come by, though we got a couple that we had to talk to. Most of them seemed to already know.

But...We soon realized that Bobby was just under the age limit. Damn. I didn't expect to be kicking out anybody I actually liked...And he was one of the few. That I liked, that is.

Then Peter and somebody that I assume is Scott, another member of the council came by to tell us that we needed to get more people involved if we wanted to stay active. It was mentioned at the meeting, but it's been brought up now that we got rid of a lot more than we kept. Some aren't sure that it's worth running just for a half-dozen kids. There's more, of course, but they've been driven off by the swarm of insect-like children. And then the other Rockwood youth...Well, they're not the type for youth groups. Which leaves Guelph, which is often too difficult to come from to bother for youth group. Sooooo I'm not sure exactly how many new people we can get, but yeah.

We'll see how things go.

It was good tonight, after the Bobby incident.

Although at one point, Rick and I left to go rent a game, and when we got back, we found out that Dwayne stopped by. To talk to Eric and Dave. He asked them if this is what they wanted, a youth group just for them. They tried to explain to him that it wasn't just for them, that there were other kids that would be coming back. Then he stood there silently and lit a cigarette. Asked them about summer jobs, and while Dave was in the midst of replying, he saw Peter and walked away.

What an asshole. I am so fucking glad that I don't have to put up with that shit anymore. He comes up to me and tries to talk to me? I tell him to fuck off. That would be pleasant...

Anyways, Peter and Scott also talked to us about being volunteers. Apparently to be a 'true volunteer', you need authorization from the council. Which is dumb when you've been part of the group longer than any of the council members, but whatever. Then they talked about an adult volunteer going bad (clearly speaking of Dwayne), and I couldn't help but think...Did the council discuss HIM as a volunteer? Did they give him some kind of authority, and then not even bother to tell the rest of the drop-in? Did they make some decicion and then not care enough to inform even Andrew, whom they pay to run the damn thing?

I don't understand people, sometimes.

Especially the idiots and the assholes. Assholes go out of their way to try to make you feel bad, and idiots just don't have a fucking clue.

When I rule the world? Mandatory IQ tests. You get below a certain average, and BAM! You get shot in the face. And slowly but surely, I'll raise the needed IQ, until only the smarter people remain.

Of course, I'll keep a few morons around. Idiots who won't think to question my authority. Proletariats of sorts, to do my bidding. But most people will need to be at a certain intelligence level to survive in my world.

I'll also determine personality types, and kill the types that are likely to either cause revolt, or just piss me off. The Dwaynes of the world, and the little activist punks that think they could get by and damage "The Man" (Me). All shot dead.

That's MY future.

'course, I gotta wait until I rule the world, otherwise it's just murder. And that, kiddies, is a no-no. Unless you have a badge, of course. Any badge will do, really. Just gotta make sure people don't get a good look at it, right? Fuck I'm tired.

You know what else is a crock of shit? Global warming. Yeah, right. The world is heating up. oooooooooooooo. I'm fucking scared. What's that mean, anyway? Air conditioner companies are gonna make more money? Psh. I'm not afraid of global warming. Not in the least. I figure, if there are any effects that do indeed affect ME, and not some fucking exotic animal species that can't take the heat, then it'll happen long after I'm dead. Not that I die, mind you. If I could die, it would happen after my death. But as I cannot die without this world coming to a crashing halt around me, I shall continue this petty existence until I find the reset button. Then we'll see what's what.

There was something I was supposed to rant about...I talked to Dave about it tonight. I just can't remember what it was. Daaaaaaave. What was it?

I'm tired. OF LIVING! No, wait...Tired of being awake. That's it. Caffeine's wearing off...And when the caffeine wears off, and you realize you're not wearing pants, that's when things get weird.

Fuck it, I'm going to bed. Well, couch. I'ma sleep on the couch. Why not?

But first, real quick...

You wanna know what I hate?

When a computer is too GOOD to run a game.

What the fuck? Since when does a computer need to be shit to run games? I've encountered a few games like that. Just can't play 'em on a decent machine. Which makes no fucking sense.

I can see why games that rock wouldn't run on a Pentium 2, but I don't see why games that suck wouldn't run on a P4. The hell? Someone wanna explain that one to me? You know what? Don't bother, I don't care.

I'm at a good place with my hatred of everything. I vent, I feel better, it's all good. It's a hell of a lot better than being depressed, and I know.

So...You know, fuck you if you disagree with my views on anything, you're wrong, and....Goodnight.

Until next time,
You do NOT watch porn while watching Iron Chef, man. That's...That's just fucked up.
~Kataron

A Nightmare Before Kefka

Brilliant! Fucking brilliant! A Nightmare Before Kefka. HA!

You have to have played FF6 to enjoy that...Man that was a good game.

Anyways, I was just hanging out over at Rick's. It was fun. He was on the phone with Dave when I got there, and I spent the next hour or so talking to him. Then I called Jared and talked with him for a bit, learning the comings and goings of his life. It was fun to catch up.

But you know what I hate?

Words that aren't words.

Like "Huggles" for example. That is a terrible, terrible word that burns me inside when I hear it. No offense to the users of the word (Well, offense. But not -personal- offense.), but I can't STAND IT. Great, you took Snuggle and Hug and FORCED THE TWO to procreate, coming up with a horrid mutant of a word that never should have existed in the first place.

You say huggles?

Then I have every right to make up a word.

BWAGHATA!

There. Fucking HAPPY NOW?!

It means...What should it mean...You know, fuck that. I'm not TELLING you what it means. You get to sit there in the dark wondering, while Rick and I use the word. And then you'll be all "What? What does that mean?".

Kathryn used the word to try to cheer up Rick. And then I said, what the fuck? Why would somebody be cheered up by a word that doesn't exist?! I can make up words, too! ...BWAGHATA!

Damn straight.

And you know what other notword I hate?

Guestimate. Good LORD how I despise that word. IT'S NOT A REAL MOTHERFUCKING WORD! Estimate. The fucking word is estimate. Guess will do in a pinch, but combining the words for your evil purposes is unforgivable! A hex on whoever first coined the term! Damn, I've even heard fucking math teachers use the word. I bite my tongue and try not to cry "HERESY! BLASHPHEMY! WORD-HEATHEN!". But really, folks. It's not a word. Estimate. Estimate is the word you want. It sounds fine on its own. It sounds SMART. Guestimate makes you sound like a jackass that's trying to be clever.

Well, fuck you. Fuck you in the ear.

*ahem*

You know what they need more games about? Catching monsters and doing shit with them. I mean...Pokemon was on to something, but then they FUCKED IT UP. They got drunk and added hundreds of lame monsters just to sell more games. Jerks. Jade Caccoon, that's where it's at. Imagine a sequel!

Imagine pokemon, but way cooler. That's Jade Caccoon. You MIX the monsters, you blend them and create new monsters, rather than just catching one and evolving it down the same old path every time. That's what it should be like, people! That's what it should be like.

So why, video game world, are you so concentrated on the first person shooters, the third person shooters, and anything with the word shooter in it? Yes, it's fun, but it gets old! You use the same old gun to kill the same old units, until finally you find a new gun. You use that, kill some new units maybe, and then find a really big gun. Blow up a boss, blah blah blah, it's the same every time. You want a game? Give us an experience that will change with every play. Give us choices, give us the ability to shape the game to our own whims and desires. Let us take control, rather than follow the lame story-line set before us, again and again. You want replay value? PAH!

Even the games that CLAIM to be open-ended are just the same play after play. You may not do all the quests, but rarely are there entirely different story-lines for you to play with. Boooooooooooooooooooring.

Give me CHANGE! Give me OPTIONS! What if I wanna betray my entire party and fuck over the world in general? Side with the bad guys, stab somebody in the back? Betray everybody and try to rule the world on my own? I want that option. I do.

You gamers these days are so fucking shallow. It's disgusting. You who look to graphics first, and all others fall distantly behind.

Video games are not about graphics. And don't get me wrong, I like the graphically stunning games. But they're so expensive to develop, they take so much work and time. Work and time that could be spent making the gameplay and storyline better. Why not do that instead?

Not about graphics, people. It's about gameplay, and replay value. If you refuse to play a game simply because the graphics aren't top notch, you're a shallow gamer.

And I'm not saying that graphics aren't important. People want to see flashy things, but it's when games just focus on the graphics that it gets frustrating.

Give me...

Shadow of The Colossus. Fucking fantastic graphics, and the gameplay was superb. I hated my horse, but the game was not only graphically stunning, but the gameplay was stunning as well. That's what we need more of these days.

Do you really think that the Wii will suffer so due to the better graphics offered by the Xbox 360 and the PS3? Hell no. Fuck, I think it's going to be the best of the systems. It's the gameplay, people. It's not about what the enemy looks like after you riddle them with bullets, it's how damn much fun it is to fire the bullets and make them oh-so dead.

I can't wait for the Wii.

I want games like...

Actraiser. (SNES)
Chrono Trigger. (SNES)
FF 1-6 (SNES)
Harvest Moon. (SNES)
Harvest Moon 64. (N64)
Super Mario RPG. (SNES)
Paper Mario. (N64)

And many others...

Shadowrun, for example! What the fuck happened to Shadowrun? I've become aware of a 360 Shadowrun title, but I doubt that it's as story-based as the original.

Give me cyberpunk, damn you!

I love it. I want more cyberpunk in the modern day games, damn you all! Comply with me!

But for now...For now, I'd best head to Kataronia and make my character for Against All Odds...I still haven't done that yet, but I've been designing the character in my mind. The link is on the right if you wanna check it out, and I hope that you do.

Until next time,
Give me cyberpunk or give me death!
~Kataron

Sweet, Lemony-Fresh Victory

That's right, folks.

We fucking won.

The drop-in has been RECLAIMED by us!

I was afraid that Dwayne had some sort of unholy influence over the coucil for whatever reason, as he seemed to know what was going on more than some of the council members (Peter, basically).

The council allowed one of the youth to represent us, and requested Eric. I would have preferred Dave, as he's more...Vocal, I'll say, but Eric seemed fine. Dave and I went and hung out with Rick while they were meeting.

And then they showed up and told us the good news. The battle is finally over, and we've come out on top.

As it turns out, none of the council members were in support of Dwayne, and he didn't even show up. A new age limit is being applied to the drop-in, 12-18. Meaning that half the little bastards won't be there anymore. It'll become an actual youth group now, instead of a fucking daycare.

I was particularly worried, as the council seemed pleased with the new direction as of the last meeting, but I don't think they were all present for that one.

With this one, they were all on our side, and were making our points before even we could. I was afraid that this would be a last stand, and Andrew might even resign during the meeting, but it turned out completely and utterly in our favour.

I don't know what's better...

The fact that we won...

Or the fact that Dwayne lost.

Pompous ass won't be sticking his meddling nose around the building anymore, as there won't be any parent volunteers.

Booyah, bitches. Booyah.

So...Yeah.

In a celebratory fashion, most of us (myself, Andrew, Steph, Eric, Dave. No Rick, as he hadn't eaten dinner yet...Which turned out to be a stroke of luck, as the car was crammed as it was.) went to Tim Horton's.

But yes. Victory is ours, the drop-in is reclaimed, and Dwayne loses and will no longer be a problem for us.

I FUCKING TOLD YOU THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY AUTHORITY THERE. LOOKS LIKE I WAS RIGHT, YOU ARROGANT BASTARD!

Oh man...It's gonna feel soooooooooooo good not to have to see his goddamn face every week.

He -might- be on vacation, currently. There are rumours of such, which would explain his absence at the meeting. In which case, things could be very awkward when he comes back. Man I'd love to be there for that conversation...Just to rub it in his face. The youth prevail, damn you!

The drop-in will finally return to being...Well, fun. Andrew and Steph won't have to worry about watching a bunch of ugly ugly children, and can hence be more amusing to us.

This week's gonna be an old one, though...Gotta tell all the kids that it's done, that they gotta get the fuck out. It's not that I have a huge grudge against them. Well, not ALL of them. Not gonna miss Dana (or as some call her, The Snitch), or that LITTLE FUCKING BASTARD that untied my shoelace and insulted me last week. Oh how I despise that child.

And on an also brighter note, the lack of little kids means no police checks for volunteers. Woooooooooooooooooooooooo. I seem to be the only one pleased about that...And again, it's not that I have a criminal record or anything (only ever been talked to the cops for blogging. Which I still believe is stupid.), but I just feel like that's a violation of privacy. After all, I was just a volunteer there. I didn't ask to work there (Well, I did. Then I got more than enough volunteer hours.), I didn't ask for any goddamn responsibilities over a bunch of kids I depise so. But now they're gone, and we can be free again.

Free to....

PLAY RISK! DAMN it's been a long time since it was quiet enough to do that...Oh man, that'd be fun.

And we can finally play some real games with Andrew without him having to pause every few minutes to check on some kids or sell some kids stuff or other shit like that.

Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom, I tell you!

This Friday might get kinda awkward, though. But I can deal with that, 'cause they're not kicking ME out. Ha-HA!

I'ma go sleep now...Gotta hang with Rick again tomorrow, play some games. He's going away Thursday, travelling with his dad. He'll be missed around here, and things might be so boring that...that...I'LL FIND A JOB! *drops into a sobbing mass in the corner*

So I'm hangin' with the boy as much as I can until then.

Oh, and I gotta hang with Jared soon. That biyatch totally wants me.

Oh, and my parents are going away this weekend. If you have a penis, feel free to drop by. OH SHIT THAT SOUNDED BAD. Wait, wait, I can make this work. I can explain, you see? Totally going for a movie marathon this weekend, and we've learned through time and experience that...Well, movie marathons should generally be gender-exclusive. It was decided after our last failed marathon that we'd write up a movie marathon charter. We did, but I think I lost it. I remember that one of the rules was "No chicks". So I apologize to my female readers. But I simply cannot enjoy a marathon properly unless not wearing pants. The female presence makes that just dang awkward.

So...If you like super-heroes, and are free to come into Rockwood this weekend (Probably be a Saturday evening going onto the wee hours of Sunday kinda thing), I'm totally planning an awesome movie marathon all about the superheroes.

With such great films as....

Spiderman.

Spiderman 2.

Batman Begins.

Mystery Men.

The Ultimate Avengers (It was just so damn good last time, I had to include it...).

And others. That's just a rough list that I can acquire, mostly through Andrew who should be joining us. Woo! If you have suggestions or would like to come by, please leave a comment. And hell, if you just wanna tell me how hot I make you, leave a comment about that, too.

And with that, I sleep.

Until next time,
Hahahahahaha I won and you lose hahahahahaha FUCK YOU, DWAYNE.
~Kataron The Winner

Worries and Woes

It bugs me when people freak out about things that don't matter. Marks and such.

I live my life stress-free. Except when I get angry. Which is often. But...That's anger, not stress, so I still say that I'm stress-free. I'd much rather be angry than stressed. I blog a bit, play some games, call somebody dirty words, and I feel better. It's a system that works for me.

But when people get stressed, that's just...I dunno, irritating. I mean, if you're stressed that much about something like marks NOW, then what the fuck are you going to do when the rent is due and you've just gotten fired from your job? What'll you do when you've got a report due for work that will change whether or not you get a promotion or a paycut?

Next time you're stressed over school, just take a moment and think about what the rest of your life is gonna be like. Does whatever you're getting stressed about really stand out in the big picture? Are you gonna end up on the street because of one failed test? One late assignment? Hell, a failed course or two? Hell no.

So stop getting freaked out about shit. Report cards just got in from the most recent semester of high school.

And what's the matter? Get a bad mark? Fail a course?

The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. Because then you ALWAYS feel crappy. Because there's always people out there better than you. And there's people out there better than them. It's an endless cycle of better-thans.

So don't worry about who's better than you at something. It hinders any actual growth one can make, except when it's a direct competition. And even then, you're concentrating too much on being better than somebody else to get better in whatever it is directly. It might work for a time, but would inevitably come to an end.

So when you're feeling stressed or down, take a moment and try to look at the big picture. And don't freakin' worry so much. It annoys me.

And with that, I'm gone.

Until next time,
Their only fate is in Russia.
~Kataron

Drop-In Drama

Hey there. Just got back from the drop-in again, which was going decently until closer to the end.

Dwayne continued to go in and out of the building, which prompted me in and out (wherever he wasn't was where I wanted to be), seemingly unaware of the awkwardness he was causing us.

Things weren't going too bad until the devo, the devotional at the end of the night where Andrew basically whips up a little talk about God, and people can stay or go or whatever they want to do, as long as it's not interfering with the devo. I was sitting on the counter, because I didn't want to sit in the circle, and because I wanted to keep an eye on the kitchen. Tony decided to jump up and sit next to me, and I told him to get down. Although I was mostly up there because I didn't want to be in the circle, I was also manning the kitchen, and I knew that if Tony joined me, he wouldn't be paying attention to the devo, because he'd be trying to crack jokes about one thing or another.

Then Dwayne said that I shouldn't tell kids not to sit on the counter if I was going to, and basically told me to get off the counter or let Tony on. I told him to never tell me what to do, and then he tried to tell Tony to get back up on the counter. Tony being the notbastard that he is, stayed down. Good kid, most of the time. In fact, we let him volunteer in the kitchen tonight, and he made a decent volunteer.

I'm sure he would have continued his jackassery if the devo hadn't started and quieted him. He approached me afterwards and tried to tell me that if I had anything to say to him, that I should just say it. I bet he feels like a big man, huh? Trying to be intimidating to an eighteen year old and his friends. I told him that I had nothing to say to him, and I think he took it the wrong way. He said "Good" and left me alone. I didn't mean that I didn't have anything to say to him, I meant that I have plenty to say to him, but won't dignify him with it when he'll just go ahead and treat me like shit afterwards, despite having asked for my opinion.

After that, I went to seek out Peter to see about an emergency meeting of the drop-in council that's been called for Tuesday. Andrew had mentioned it earlier, and said that since Dwayne would be there, the youth should probably be represented, too. Dwayne said that he didn't know much about the meeting, but he hadn't called it and would have to talk to the person that actually called the meeting. Then Dwayne walked up and basically said that he knew the agenda of the meeting.

Damn that guy's irritating. Because you KNOW that it's all because of him that the emergency meeting has been called. The arrogant ass is the cause of all of the problems anyway. It's ridiculous that he's got enough sway with the drop-in council that he can cause these meetings, and it also pits the bias of them against us as he's probably filled their mind with poison regarding our personalities and actions.

This, ladies and gentlemen, may be our last stand. The final fight between Good and Evil. Between Andrew and Dwayne. The battle of the motherfucking century, and hopefully Andrew will have us as back-up.

Apparently one of the points to be brought up is that they may have a shift where things will go back to the way "they used to be", with a parent manning the kitchen and volunteers watching the children more closely. The hell? I've been there pretty much since the fucker opened, and can recall no such system. And don't you DARE try to kick us out of the kitchen, our only safe haven from the swarm of vicioius little miscreants and bastards that you call children.

We get no respect, I tell ya. One kid walked by me with a broken ball that used to be a working ball of the drop-in, and I said "That's not cool". He proceeded to point to my shoelaces, tell me "That's not cool", and went so far as to untie one of them! And then to add insult to injury (I considered untied laces an injury.), he then decided to make fun of my shoelaces. For a moment I was filled with rage, and tempted to stand up there, take the broken ball from him and tell him to get the fuck out, but then I calmed myself (marginally), and thought about the fact that this little dick is probably going to end up unsuccessful and ugly, and be miserable for the rest of the life. And OH YES, the little dick still has puberty to look forward to. Enjoy, fucker. Enjoy.

And that's only one example of disrespect shown to us by the children. Once they actually brought nail clippers to further mock my nails. Bastards. Those were some of Dwayne's kids, actually, that brought the clippers. Damn disrespectful kids. Just like daddy. They frequently don't listen to a word we say, and then still expect us to sell them stuff. Fuck that. After somebody makes fun of me, I don't sell them a goddamn thing for the rest of the evening.

*ahem*

But after my talk with Peter and the interruption of Dwayne, I was still unsatisfied. I had contemplated during the conversation to tell Dwayne that I was trying to talk to Peter in private, but I figured that he wouldn't have left. Best he'd do is retreat to "eavesdropping range".

So when Dwayne finally left, I approached Peter and finally got some of the stuff off of my chest.

I told him how the youth feel about what's happening, that we think it's more of a daycare than a youth drop-in, that we consider it a slap in the face that we're being treated with such disrespect by parents. Not only directly (See: Dwayne), but indirectly, in the fact that other parents sometimes just come by and watch their kids. That's why we're here. That's what Andrew and Steph are getting paid for, though it wasn't the job description, and you're still telling them to get out there and watch them when they're already being watched by their damn parents. If you don't trust us to watch your kids, DON'T BRING THEM. Because we don't want you standing there and watching them over our shoulders.

We told him that Dwayne was treating us like ass and that we were tired of him. I was relieved when the other real youths joined me in the conversation. Rick was mostly silent, but Dave was quite helpful in his additions. Eric was also mostly silent save for when he confirmed that Dwayne wasn't treating us well.

And we told him the real reason that we so desire to sit in on the meeting. If Dwayne is allowed to be there, so should we. After YEARS of loyal service and two dramas without which the drop-in would have stopped due to lack of funds, we deserve to be there. We deserve to know what they plan for us and what they're doing, after everything we've done for them. Especially if Dwayne is allowed to be there. He told us again that he'd have to check in with the one that called the meeting. But I plan on showing up no matter what. Whether or not they'll let me in is another story, but I figure that if they don't, I'll wait for Andrew to tell us exactly what went down in there. Because with Andrew, we at least know that we've got one person on our side. Peter said that he's "batting for us", and agreed with some of our points, but I'm not sure what level of back-up he's giving us here. Which is why I think that myself, Dave, Rick, and Eric should all be present for the meeting.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm not in the best of moods about tonight's events. I can't stand that asshole Dwayne, but I'm glad I was at least able to talk to Peter about the concerns of the actual youth, rather than the little kids that have tried to conquer us.

I know I'm the most angry of the kids being pushed out of there, but I know I'm not the only one. I talked to a couple of the actual youths tonight, and they agreed that there's no real place for them here anymore, with all of the kids.

These kids do not need a youth group. A youth group is designed to keep kids of the street when they might be doing something stupid. These kids are too young to be getting into the stupid stuff, and we're driving off the kids that actually need the youth group.

But I'm sure most of you don't care. I just needed to get some of this shit off my chest...Again.

I know, I know, I'm an angry person. Fuck you, there's very little I can do about my anger aside from blog and play video games. And now that I can say whatever the fuck I want without the police or the school administration coming down on, me, I intend to.

And with that, I'm off.

Until next time,
It's downhill from here. Bitches.
~Kataron

Indeed?!

First off, I've got two honourary mentions for the blog.

One is for Veronica, who is today turning eighteen. Good job, Vero. Now you're legal. I mean...Can buy porn. I mean....Ah, fuck, you get the point. Happy birthday.

The second honourary mentions goes out to the Prince. You roll them Katamari's, dude. You roll them up BIG. I love you. Let's go steady.

I've done very little the past few days that did not involve Coca-Cola Classic or video games. I got up at noon today and played video games until about an hour ago, then came down to go on the computer. I didn't get on at all yesterday save for a few ranty posts on random blogs at two in the morning, after watching Iron Chef.

That show ROCKS! I had no idea it was so good! Also I've started watching Attack of the Show, via Tech TV. Both great shows. Iron Chef seems to play 'round midnight, and Attack of the Show goes out at one. So it's cool, I can watch both. Huzzah!

I picked up a used game a couple days ago, Shining Force Neo. I thought it'd be a bit of fun, but lose it's fun-ness after a while, and be a relatively short game. But I've put over ten hours in so far, and it's going strong. Damn fine pre-owned game. Only cost about thirty bucks, and worth every penny.

I also played some City of Heroes over at Rick's, after watching some Naruto. He just hit level fifty, so he's unlocked two new character classes that start out awesome. Booyah.

Oh...Oh right, I was blogging.

*wanders off*

Until next time,
FUCK I JUST LOST THE GAME.
~Kataron

Song of the Mountain

Yeah. My day's been pretty boring today. Television and video games, that's about it.

Then Eric came over and we went for a walk, and had a lengthy discussion about things.

Manliness, for one. Dictionary.com defines manly as "Having qualities traditionally attributed to a man". The whole thing sprang up from us arguing about whether being dirty was manly or not. I believe that it is manly, as it might indicate that you have just been doing something involving a show of force or strength.

And let's face it, strength is a classical male attribute. Men want to be strong. That is just how it is. ALL men want to be strong. For their own means, to impress others, or simply to accomplish tasks. And women generally do not possess the same level of strength that men do. Hence why many strength-based industries are mostly male. Construction workers are rarely female, for example. Because it's a male-dominate industry. Because men are the strong ones. And I'm not saying that to be sexist.

Men and women are not equal. Let's just face up to that right now. And as a whole, men are generally stronger. That's not me being sexist, that's a simple statement of fact. And I'll admit that it's not all-encompassing. There are women out there that could beat me up. But usually, men are the strong ones.

And historically. Men are the ones that went to war and won the major battles of times passed. They were the warriors, the hunter-gatherers. We went out and killed animals, and brought back their dead bodies for eatin'. And then we went out and fought each other.

The most prominent male figures in the past have been either very strong, or very smart. We're brought up being told by the media and by those around us that we're supposed to be strong. We're brought up being told that that's what a man is, strong. And even intelligence can be called strength of the mind.

Clearly, strength is "a quality traditionally attributed to men". Strength is manly.

So here on Katablog, we're going to implement the Scale of Manliness.

It ranks between one and ten, one being the lowest and ten being the highest. 10 is He-Man. Quite possibly the manliest man to have ever existed in fact or fiction. I mean, look at his fucking name. HE-MAN. You cannot get manlier than that name. And he's fucking strong, and rides around a fucking battle cat. You don't get manlier than that, dammit.

If you want to know whether or not something is manly, just think to yourself...

Would He-Man do it? If so, the fuck yeah it's manly. If not, then try not to do it if you can avoid it, 'cause it's not manly.

Dammit, I enjoy arguing too much. Personally, I blame Jared. That fucker likes to argue. We've had so many arguments I sometimes wonder how we've still managed to be friends. Then I just shrug it off.

I was just arguing with Eric MORE about manliness. He seems to have a distorted view on it. He said something about level-headedness being manly, and I pointed out that classically, men aren't all that level-headed. We get angry, and our judgement is clouded by emotion. His reply was "Fuck classically" and then he went off-line. He was heading off anyway, so I don't see him as retreating from the argument or anything, but he's still wrong.

Our entire definition of manliness is derived from the classical man. If you're going to say "Fuck classically", then you throw our current definition of the word out the window and try to substitute your own idea of the term in place of the already believed version.

And ideals don't matter worth a shit here. It doesn't matter what manly SHOULD be. It doesn't matter if being level-headed should be considered manly, it matters whether it already is or not. And it isn't.

The entire term is derived from the traditional and classical view of man, and that's a view that cannot be changed, as it's already etched in history.

But I'm tired, so I'm just going to go to bed.

But remember kids, when you want to know if something is manly or not, just think "Would He-Man do it?".

Until next time,
The bow, however useful it may be, is not manly. The sword, bringing the combatant into close quarters with the opponent, forcing you to fight the opponent on a personal level, skill verus skill rather than just your skill versus how fast they can move. Swords are manly.
~Kataron

Katamari On The Swing

I'm up, I'm up...

*grumbles*

I just woke up.

It was a late night last night. Parents went out of town yesterday, so Dave and Eric came over. Rick woulda, but he's at his dad's this weekend. But yeah. Before Dave showed up, Eric and I were playing Champions: Return to Arms, which is much fun. We went with the classic team, Barbarian and Ranger. And as you might imagine, I was NOT the sissy Wood Elf Ranger. I was the manly Barbarian, and I kicked all the ass. Then he shot the ass with arrows.

Anyways, he and I hit up Foodland, got a 24-pack of Coke, a bag of perogies (already had one, but hey. Can never get enough.), some hotdog buns (I found hotdogs in my fridge.), some fuckin' Tasti-Taters or whatever, and some fish and chips. Oh, and yogurt. Fuckin' love yogurt.

We also rented The Ultimate Avengers, cartoon movie from the video place. It ROCKED. We watched it when Dave showed up, after getting five more from the convenience store down the street. Dave's dad won some free rental coupons from the drama we put on a while back, and he gave the last FIVE to him yesterday. So we picked up five movies.

Serenity, which is fucking AWESOME. Such a damn good movie. Fantastic.

Also got Derailed, which was good. I wasn't so fond of the beginning, but it turned out to be really, really good.

Then there was...Fun with Dick and Jane. I liked that one. Not one of Carrey's best, but it certainly wasn't The Cable Guy. Nah, this one was good. Had a lot of laughs. But then, with all the caffeine we were imbibing, all the movies had plenty of laughs...

Next we watched When a Stranger Calls. I was moderately impressed with the first most of the movie. And let me just say now that the chick in that movie is fucking hot. I have spoken. The ending sucked balls though, as they never explain anything about who the fucker is. Bah. Hot chick, though.

And then, we watched The Run-Down, which is Rock-Awesome as always. Get it? Rock-Awesome? 'cause the Rock is in it? Man I'm funny. Or...Tired. Either way, great movie.

All five of these movies plus Ultimate Avengers, breaks for burgers and perogies, as well as a walk around Rockwood, had us up until sometime between eight-thirty and nine in the morning. Then I went to bed, and when I woke up, they were both gone. Shrug.

It was a good night, although we swore at each other a lot. For some reason, when you're wired, "Fuck you" are the two funniest words in the English language. Ah well...

Also, we lost The Game repeatedly.

For those of you that don't know, there exists a game. The purpose of this game is not to think about the game. The moment the game crosses your mind, you lose, and have to announce it to those around you. Once you lose, you're out of the game for five minutes, and then back in.

So you've got a five-minute free period in which you may think about the game. Then you're back in.

There's no quitting the game, and as soon as you learn about it, you've joined.

So this was heard a lot last night...

Somebody: "DAMMIT! I just lost the game!"
Somebody else: "Fuck, so did I!"
Another person: "I didn't. AH FUCK, NOW I DID!"

Yeah. Great game. The louder you swear when you lose, the better. Yep.

But I'ma go now. That's just a weekend update. There have been no ladies over, alas.

Speaking of ladies, Rebecca is gone for the summer. We miss her around here, and at the youth group.

But now I'ma go.

Until next time,
Chuck Norris uses a live rattlesnake as a condom, and doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
~Kataron

CH-CH-CH-CHANGES

Welcome to the new and improved Katablog!

This template has been brought to you courtesy of my good friend and lover, Ryan.

Thank you for all of this wonderful nights of coding and pleasure.

I just wanted to post so that you didn't see the new look and think you were at the wrong blog. You're where you want to be, baby.

But now I gotta go fry me up some fuckin' perogies.

Until next time,
Eric's swingin' a sword around.
~Kataron

Rhodes To The Past

The drop-in seems to be dying. No, not due to lack of people. We've got plenty of little kids around, but it's becoming too much for us to handle. There was a meeting of the drop-in council last night (yes, there's a fuckin' council), and Eric and Dave sat in on it.

The point was raised about the age groups in the drop-in, as it's supposed to be...I dunno, some age to some other age. I'm hgher than it, but I don't really care. But at the moment, most of the people that go there are really fucking young. Many below the non-applied age limations. They're not youth, they're just little kids. Andrew is trained to deal with youth, high school students, and that's the kind of people he wants to deal with. Instead, it's forced upon him to care for dozens of little children. He can't watch everybody all at once, which is one of the reasons we got Steph, the new volunteer there. But she's more interested in the older kids, Andrew says, and it was actually said at the meeting that they might have to replace her with somebody else to watch the younger kids more.

God I hope it's not that creepy old woman that's been by before. She irritates the hell out of me.

But anyways, they're also talking about getting police checks for the volunteers. Meaning myself, Dave, Eric, and Rick. The fuck? Why should they need police checks on us when we've already been doing this for years? I don't want to get a police check. Not that I've, you know, been arrested or anything, but I think it's a little intrusive to get a police check done on me. No, that's not right. I think it's very fucking intrusive, and if they do so, they're going to hear about it from me.

And I can't help but wonder, would any sort of police check bring up my blog? I mean, I've had police officers come and talk to me about my blog before, would that show up in my records? That'd be weird. Just imagine Dwayne finding my blog and reading the nasty things I've said about him. Oh well, what the fuck is he going to do about it? Come and bitch at me again when I don't give a flying fuck? Whoopie. Dwayne's an asshat.

But for whatever fucking reason, he got to be at the drop-in meeting too. And I'm getting sick and fucking tired of that douche-bag being included in everything that has to do with the drop-in. I swear to God, if I ever see him trying to boss around some of the kids that aren't his as though he has some sort of authority over them (particularly my brother), I'm going to fucking flip out on him. He apparently already tried to tell my brother of for doing something stupid a while back. And while I don't condone stupid actions, what fucking right does he have to talk to my brother at all about it?

I think a lot of this situation is Dana's fault. I dislike that little girl greatly, because all she is is a snitch. We do something, she cries to daddy, daddy cries to Peter. Boo-fucking-hoo. I'm pretty sure she just went off and complained about the fact that we weren't letting her into the kitchen. And that brought about his whole bitching-at-Nate thing, which I'm still pissed off at him for.

Fucking asswipe.

In fact, he stopped by the drop-in building a few times over the night, and just kind of stood around. All conversation immediately died out, and I bit my tongue and picked dirt out from under my fingernails. Or cracked my knuckles. Or did anything I could from looking at him with the intense look of hatred that was the only expression I could offer towards him.

Does he not understand when he's making a situation awkward? Is he that dense? Or does he just like making us feel uncomfortable? Not even Andrew wants to talk to him. I think the only one there that can put up with him is Peter. Aside from his children, that is. But they don't have a choice.

The problem is that he doesn't treat us with any sort of respect, yet tries to get us to treat him as an equal. Or worse, somebody better than us. Remind you of anybody? *cough*Mr.Coffey*cough*.

He's just a loud, irritating jackass who doesn't know when to shut up and fuck off. And I have a feeling that I'm going to flip out at him at least once more before I leave the drop-in forever.

Which might not be that long from now.

As things are today, the drop-in is becoming geared more and more for the smaller children. Meaning that all we do is sit in the kitchen while they control most of the hall. The kitchen is our ONLY safe haven in that place, and Dwayne wanted us to let his children in there. Hardly!

Now t's supposed to just be volunteers in the kitchen, but I'm opposed to even that. What if we have friends at the drop-in, what then? Are we supposed to ignore them and go about our duties? Because we can't spend all our time outside the kitchen hanging out with people, we have to be in the kitchen, because Andrew's not always there. So fuck it, if the time comes when one of my friends is in town, I'm going to let them hang in the kitchen with me. Because I don't care what Dwayne says, and if Peter has a problem with it, I'll calmly explain to him about it.

Because Peter, I can handle. He's, at least, a nice guy. He respects us, talks to us like we're more than just volunteers, and is actually a decent human being. The problem is that he and the rest of the drop-in council don't mind at all the fact that the drop-in is becoming a place for little kids. It seems to be that we either deal with it or we go somewhere else.

Well, thanks a fucking lot. The drop-in wouldn't even be running if not for us, you pompous jackasses. For a long time, we were the only ones even there. And then after it picks up, we put on two, not one, but TWO dramas to raise money for it and keep the place open. And how do they repay us? They turn the place into a fucking daycare, letting kids run wild while we sit in the kitchen and try to enjoy ourselves.

Well, fuck you. I didn't perform two dramas to sit in a fucking kitchen and be bitched at by some asswad with control issues. Fuck no.

Dwayne is successfully alienating every element of the drop-in that has allowed it to keep running thus far. The people, the methods, everything.

And worse than that, he doesn't even fucking trust us to watch his kids. Well, gee, thanks for that. If you want to watch your goddamn kids, watch them at home. We don't need you coming over here, bringing your attitude, and watching them here, while expecting us to bend over backwards to make them happy. Fuck no. Go home. Go home and let us run the drop-in our way, the way that's gotten us through over five years of running.

Because if you don't, the drop-in is going to die. I'm not putting up with a fucking daycare every Friday night. I don't even fucking like kids. And when they're such disrespectful little pissants, why should I?

If I had a nickel for every comment one of them has made about bringing a pair of nail-cutters...Little shits. And they don't even listen to me when I tell them not to do something. Hello? Volunteer here! Been here for five fucking years, I've outlived over half-a-dozen different leaders, and I'm still treated like shit! Well, fuck that. I'm not even allowed to raise my voice to them if I get upset, because then Dwayne gets in a huff and complains. It might not always be the nicest method, but it fucking works.

So fuck it all. If this keeps up, we might break off and form our own drop-in. Apparently it's not super-difficult to get sponsored by someobody (maybe even a different church), and then we can hang out as a proper YOUTH group. Not a fucking daycare for little kids that can't even talk right.

I'm wonderinf if we'll last until the end of the summer. Eric seems to think we will, but I have my doubts. I can only hold back on Dwayne so long until I snap and yell at him. And my my, won't that be an interesting night.

So to sum up...

Fuck you, Dwayne.

Fuck you, drop-in council.

Fuck you, tiny irritating children.

It's almost three-thirty in the morning, I'm going to bed.

Until next time,
I didn't ask for any fucking authority at that place. They gave it to me and expected me to use it properly when half the fucking kids won't even listen to me anyway, and my authority is frequently being challenged by parents. Well, fuck all of you!
~Kataron