Otherworld

And the chipmunks rejoiced.

I mean...uhh...Hey.

It's that candy holiday today. You know the one. I've never really understood it. It's origins, or how that somehow mutated into going around to stranger's houses and threatening to 'trick' them if they don't give you 'treats'. If anybody wants to explain to me in comment form the evolution of the holiday, knock yourself out.

Also, it was Daylight Savings time the other night. The States is apparently electing not to do that anymore. Okay, I don't care. Doesn't affect me, right? Wrong. Next year, we're apparently not doing it either. What the fuck. What, are we fucking sheep now? The States is doing it, so we need to follow? Fuck that shit, it's stupid. I likes my daylight savings time. Piss off and die, to all of you in charge of this decision to cancel it. Die!

Right. Now that that's out of the way.

'twas Candy-Day today.

I wore my red suit, and proclaimed myself the Devil. Esmee was dressed as Alice from Alice in Wonderland. We made quite the pair, Satan and Alice. Yeah. We wandered before class, instead of our usual staying under the stairs. 'twas fun.

Then math. I was the only one dressed up at all. And I kinda paid attention today. Review of old trig stuff. Meaning last year for them, three years ago for me :)

I didn't have my discman today because I realized I forgot it at the youth group, after Catherine moved the wheely thingy. It has two levels, a mid-level and a top-level, with the wheels somehow making up the bottom level. Anyways, my discman was on the mid-level, when she wheeled it away. I was distracted by the presence of my lady-friend, and thus forgot about it. So I was without music today.

Then first spare, which was spent mostly wandering. First I went to Food Basics. The Mission: Get some Coke. Turned out to be mission impossible. Bah. Food Basics was out of Coke. Can you believe that? Out of fucking Coke. Well, that's not entirely accurate. They had Coke Zero, Coke C2, Coke with Lime, and Diet Coke. But no Coca-Cola Classic, my lifeblood. Argh! I ended up buying some bread (which I was disappointed in today. The cheese buns were harder than usual.) and some suckers. Then I dropped them off under the stairs and set out in search yet again, this time determined to come back with Coke! I went to Zellers, then Zehrs. At Zellers I looked at new games. Man, there's some nice ones. The new Ratchet game. Eh? EH?! It looks snazzy as hell. And then the Super Mario DDR game that I so sorely desire. I'd kill Jared for it. Well, also 'cause he pissed me off earlier, but I'll have forgiven him by tomorrow. It's nothing big, just something that irritates me.

Ah, here's a tangent. I am the jealous type. Okay? Hence it is a bad fucking idea to start a conversation with me about how you hugged my lady-friend and I didn't know about it. Why would you do that? Are you trying to piss me off? Because if so, mission accomplished. That is one of the single most irritating things somebody can do to me. Because I get jealous, and I get jealous over stupid reasons. I don't care if you hugged my girlfriend, I made out with her no more than an hour ago. I win. But just don't come and start fucking talking to me about it. That's a conversation that won't end well. If it's happening in person, I'll hurt you. Or try to hurt you. If it's on MSN, I'll swear at you some and block you. Because really, you're asking for it.

So don't be stupid, and don't piss me off. 'kay?

/tangent

Then I went to Zehrs. The Coke was ten cents more expensive here, but I didn't care, I just grabbed a bottle. And on the way out? Tic Tacs. Orange ones. Fuck yeah. I love those ones. And I love orange. Clearly the best, I don't care what most of you other people say. Then the period was pretty much over by the time I got back, so I headed off to meet my lady-friend at her class. We spent the start of lunch venturing to her house in order to obtain her all-important careers assignment that had been due on Friday. So we got that, came back, got food, and hung out under the stairs for the rest of lunch. Fun stuff.

Then third period. We were basically just editing essays this period. My first one was Ben Charlton's. His essay was pretty awesome, about how he didn't sleep for a while. Like I went without my watch. It was really well-written, and it held my interest. But enough about that. I started on another essay after I finished with that one, but I didn't get time for much edifying. That's a word now.

Then last period, which I spent with Rick and Mitch. Getting our geek on, talking about stuff, going to the store, buying bread. All that good stuff. We talked about the new Doom movie.

What a disappointement. From the sounds of it, anyway. I mean, they butchered what little plot Doom had. They're fucking demons. From Mars. They're not mutants. There's no virus. Fuck off, you commie-ass motherfuckers. They did this in a vain attempt to justify the bloodshed of Doom. What the fuck. It's fucking DOOM! You don't need to fucking justify the motherfucking bloodshed! Fuck off and die! I mean, seriously. This is based on one of the most old-school kick-ass First Person Shooters ever. It had very little plot. If you make a movie about it, at least pay attention to that much of the fucking plot.

But noooo.

And now I have to hunt down and kill everyone that was involved with the writing of that script. You're going down, motherfucker. You shouldn't have fucked with us nerds. We run shit.

Then the schoolday was over. Loose plans were made with Esmee for her to come into Rockwood, but nothing concrete was formed. Had to wait for parental input for that.

Got home, watched tv, talked to my parents about her coming down. They were willing to pick her up if she could get a ride back on her own. Snazzy! So my mom and I went down and picked her up, then came back here. Had some dinner. Then wandered off to...Rebecca's first, to see what was doing on there. Encountered some other people, got some candy. Then we checked out my Aunt and Uncle's house, where I was given a 2L of Coke. We decided it was boring, as nothing was really happening, but vowed to come back later.

We then wandered and ended up at the school. We hung out there for a while, on the back steps of one of the portables. After a while, a police car showed up, and an officer informed us that this was private property and that we were trespassing. Asked for our names and dates of birth, which we gave to him, and I silently cast a curse over his whole family. Muahaha. Asked us if we had any drugs. Which we did, of course. An entire brick of cocaine hidden in my anus. Yeah...No, of course we didn't have any fucking drugs. He asked what else was in the Coke. He didn't ask if anything else was in the Coke. He asked what else was in the Coke. What the fuck? Piss off. It was sealed, jackass. Hadn't opened it yet. Suck it. Anyways, he eventually buggered off, and we left to check out my Aunt and Uncle's house again. More stuff was happening, but we didn't stick around for long.

Went back to my place after seeing Eric on the way.

Oh, and on the way to Rebecca's, we stopped at the building where the drop-in is, and I re-acquired my discman. A light was on, and one of them Karate people what uses the building was in there, so I asked if I could pick up something I'd forgotten, and she was cool about it. Such a relief to have my discman back. <3

Anyways, we got back to my place, and basically hung out and watched tv for the next three hours. Television is up to three times more awesome when you're snuggling with your lady-friend.

Then she left, and I figured I should do a blog post. That brings us to about here.

Now it is time for Nate to sleep, for though it is only quarter to twelve, it feels like quarter to one. I've gotten this far on fumes, and the occasional glass of Coke.

Until next time,
I could do that. I just choose not to. What, you don't believe me? Well, you're a dick.
~Kataron

Kind Lady

Well, here I am. Fucking tired, though, so this is a short post. Just got off the phone with my lady-friend, and I've remembered that something something daylight savings time.

Meaning that right now it'd normally be just before midnight. Snore.

I'll have a rant up here about daylight savings time tomorrow.

But here's your rant for tonight:

Don't you just hate that midget? There are basically two midgets in the movies. The Mini-Me one, and the one with the beard. I hate the one with the beard. He's been in so much shit. Just make up your damn mind and choose a genre, dude.

He just irritates me.

Until next time,
Fuck I'm tired.
~Kataron

Time

The following is the essay I wrote for my Writer's Craft. Tomorrow we begin peer editing(sp?). I wanted to start here.

So read, review, and comment on what you think I should change.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tick tock. Tick, tock. Tick. Tock.

Time. I’m obsessed with it. Well, more precisely, I’m obsessive compulsive about it. I need to know what time it is at all times. Otherwise, I’m a wreck. So for my essay, I have decided to go for two days without my watch. What, you don’t think that’s much? Let me describe for you my usual day.

I wake up around seven fifteen in the morning. I don’t have an alarm. My mother wakes me up, as I much prefer her voice to the horrible, grating, unending and thoroughly maddening tones of an alarm clock. But as such, my exact time of awakening shifts around. Then I’m on the computer until exactly seven forty. Then I get ready for school. Once ready, I leave to catch my bus at exactly seven fifty-three. My bus arrives at eight, I and I arrive at school at eight twenty-five. At this point, I usually meet up with my lady-friend, and spend the morning with her, until five to nine, when I walk her to her class. Then I go to my own class, which is conveniently located just down the hall from hers. I have not once been late. My first period class bores me, so every day I take a twenty-minute bathroom break and wander the halls of the school. After making use of the lavatory, of course. After exactly twenty minutes, I head back to my class and await its end. After the end of first period, I meet with my lady-friend and walk her to her next class, and then enjoy a nice leisurely spare with two of my school chums. At exactly five minutes to the end of that class, I head up to my lady-friend’s class to wait for her to get out, and then spend lunch with her and other friends. At the end of lunch, I walk her to her next class, which is also conveniently located right next to mine, and then I enjoy Writer’s Craft. Again, never late. When it ends, I meet my lady-friend and walk her to her last class, and then I enjoy my second of two spares. And once more, with exactly five minutes left of the period, I walk to my lady-friend’s class to meet her at the door.

I then go outside and wait for my bus, which shows up around twenty to four. When my bus gets me home, it is just after four o’clock, and I watch television or play video games until dinner. Dinner falls between six and seven o’clock depending on what it is and how long it takes to cook. At a point in time between seven and seven fifteen, I embark on my nightly walk. I walk until my watch strikes eight, and then I turn around and head home. I don’t turn around until exactly eight o’clock. Once I turn home, I arrive back at my place of residence between eight fifteen and eight twenty. I then call my lady-friend and chat with her from anywhere between two to three and a half hours. I tend to then write in my blog until around midnight. Then sleep takes me.

Then I repeat the process.

So as you can tell, time is very important to me.

When I was told of the assignment, I decided that I had to do something that would wow everyone. Instead, I took off my watch and decided to push the bounds of my own personal discomfort as far as I could. Whether or not anybody else would notice.

Two days, I would be without my watch. Forty-eight hours. Two thousand, eight-hundred and eighty minutes. One hundred and seventy-two thousand, eight hundred seconds. Ahhh! That’s a long time. But enough build-up, let’s move on to my experiences.

Thursday.

I woke up and realized with a groan that I would not have my watch on for the next two days. I was still wearing it, so I slipped it off and proceeded to get dressed. I decided that I would try to avoid seeing all clocks for the next two days, but I gave that up within a few hours. I went on the computer and got ready for school, and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. I wasn’t sure what time it was when I left, so I ended up at my bus stop earlier than usual. Or perhaps the bus was late. Not wearing a watch, I wasn’t sure. I arrived at school at what I assumed was eight twenty-five as usual. I met my lady-friend in the morning, and gave her my watch, to hold for the next two days. We went to Tim Horton’s, and then came back to the school, hanging around until class began. My mind was already screaming at me to find out what time it was. I occasionally asked her, but she refused to give me a straight answer, saying only vague statements like “We have time” or “We should go now”. Things like that. Which is what I wanted, because if she was with me and had my watch on, then I could just ask her the time at any point. But no, I needed to learn the time through alternate means.

First period came. And kept going. And kept going. It just wouldn’t end! I still managed to go for my bathroom break, and wandered the school, but I had no idea when to be back for. It was then that I realized that there aren’t that many clocks in the school. I know there’s at least one or two in the caf, and there’s one in the E.L. Fox hall, but I couldn’t find any others. Not even in the front foyer. It was strange. And very irritating.

Eventually, first period ended. And then my spare began. I wanted to make sure I was not late for meeting my lady-friend at her class, as I have not been late since I first dropped my second-period class. I spent this period with Wyatt and Justin, hanging around and eventually playing video games on Wyatt’s portable system, a Nintendo DS. It had a built in clock, so I managed to not be late when meeting my lady-friend. Though I didn’t want to check it too frequently, so I ended up estimating the time and arriving at her class ten minutes before it let out, but that was okay because I still had the DS to play. Lunch went as lunch normally does, without much reason to check the time. Then third period rolled around, and I was starting to get used to not having a watch on. At some point I got tired of looking at my writs and finding nothing, and just drew on a picture of a watch. Then my last period spare rolled around, and it went as it normally does.

The day ended, I got home normally, and then I had the clock in my room, so it was okay. My walk was irritating though, as I had no idea what time it was or when I should turn back. I estimated based on the time I left, and how far I usually get before turning back, and I ended up home a little early.

I wasn’t sure if I was ready for another day of this, but sleep came and I stopped caring.

Friday.

Friday was interesting. A shortened day, so each period was cut down to only thirty-six minutes apiece. It made things interesting to keep track of.

First period was a review period, so timing didn’t really matter. I still somehow managed my bathroom break, but for less than the usual twenty minutes. I spent my spare at Food Basics, and arrived just in time to meet my lady-friend at her class. Classes were too rushed to really matter, though timing was irritating, neither knowing the schedule nor knowing what time it was.

I spent the rest of the day with my lady-friend, who had my watch, so timing wasn’t really too difficult. Plus with school over for the day by noon, we didn’t really have any timing to worry about. It was all good.

I collected my watch from her the next morning, and all was returned to normality.

The entire time I was without my watch, my wrist felt bare. When I moved it, it seemed too light, too different. It was strange to move it. I also had a line of white skin where my watch normally was. I repeatedly looked down when I wanted to know the time, only to be disappointed by finding my empty wrist. I looked down over a dozen times before school let out the first day alone. I felt like a fool whenever I did so, looking down at my bare wrist.

This is not something I would want to repeat. I went mad for two consecutive days, forever unsure of just what time it was. And as I check my watch every few minutes, this made quite a difference to me. It was far too stressful for me to want to repeat.

My watch is something I usually take for granted. It’s always there, it’s always right, and I always know what time it is. But for two days, it wasn’t. And I realized just how hard it is for me to get by without it. I don’t understand how people without watches do it. But then, I guess they’re not as obsessive compulsive as I am.

Now it’s time for me to relax a little, and enjoy the extra hour given to me by daylight savings time.

Captain Jack

First off, I suppose I must apologize for my lack of real posting lately. On Thursday night, I was feeling like...hmm...how best to describe this...

Well, take a piece of shit. Damp shit. Somewhere between wet and dry, but not to either extreme. Then grind it through a cheese grater. Then sprinkle in some generic unpleasant item, and voila. You have what I felt like on Thursday night.

And last night, I was all too pre-occupied. But I'll be getting to that shortly.

Let's see...I don't remember much about Thursday, to be honest with you. I know it was normal until last period, when I started to feel depressed. This continued on, and certain events escalated the feelings, and I ended up walking around Rockwood at night for quite a while, first alone, then with James. Yeah. That's about all I remember of Thursday that I feel like talking about.

My memories of yesterday are far more clear. 'twas a shortened day. Each period lasted a mere thirty-six minutes. Huzzah, said I! Math went as math generally goes, involving numbers and the working with them. Or so I choose to assume. I still managed my daily bathroom break. Booyah. Then second, hanging with The Wyatt. Went over to Food Basics, came back just in time for the ten minute break between classes. I met my lady-friend at her class and spent the ten minutes with her. Good times. Then third period, Writer's Craft. We were doing poetry prompts today, writing certain prompts for people to follow when writing a 'directed poem'. Things like...I dunno, describe an exotic place, who do you wish was there with you, what kind of footwear do you have on, etc. All that good junk. Anyways, that was pretty much that period. Then last, which I spent hanging with Rick and...Somebody...I don't remember who it was. Umm..Wait! Dave! He was there. Yeah. Then I met my lady-friend, and spent ALL THE TIME BETWEEN THEN AND NOW TOGETHER. It was fucking awesome.

All righty, first we hung out at the school, and eventually took Bitty with us to Food Basics, where we bought Cake, Coke, and another non-Coke beverage for Bitty. We then went over to Esmee's house and ate cake. Esmee's sister and one of her friends were there, so they demanded some of the cake, which we gave to them. Then they kinda wandered off, after somebody came over with a cat, so then Esmee, Bitty, and myself began to watch 'Saved!'. It was pretty good, but after a while, Esmee and I weren't so much paying attention. Esmee's sister and her friends left, and then Bitty left. I felt bad for making Bitty a third wheel. But there are good things with three wheels! Umm..Tricycles...and...uhh...Triceretops(sp?)? Yeah. Anyways, then we were alone for a while. I'll spare you the details, but then people got back and we watched Saw. Man, that was a creepy fucking movie. I really liked it, though. Yeah. Then Esmee's dad got back and gave us a ride into Rockwood, where I gave her the grand tour of my house that she didn't get last time she was here. Then she met my parents, and we pretty much immediately went over to the youth group. Well, first we went and rented Land of the Dead. Well, that actually took a while. 'cause the guy went around the whole video store with us talking about movies that he liked. It was pretty cool, though.

It was then youth group time, so we went there and did that. Hung around, went to the candy shop, got pizza. Dave put up a sign in the kitchen that said No Mackin'. And then underneath it said in brackets 'Nate...' and on the back it said 'Under Penalty of Death'. Yeah. Didn't really stop us so much though. We just cut it down a lot. Anyways, played games, hung out, talked about stuff, had devo, then Esmee and I left. We had a DVD to watch. Then when we got home, my brother and his friends were playing PS2, so I couldn't. I cursed them silently under my breath. So while I go to get the chair/pulloutbed that generally resides in my room, my dad put in and old home movie. You bastard. We watched a home movie of me on a fishing trip with my dad when I was six years old. I said 'fissing' instead of 'fishing'. I'll have my revenge, old man. Nobody shows my lady-friend old home movies of me when I'm six years old and gets away with it!

Then we went upstairs and started to watch the movie. We got partway through and then got distracted. We then went back and tried to watch a bunch of it again, but we were really tired. So we just kinda fell asleep on my bed together. Of course, I was supposed to be sleeping in my brother's room on my brother's bed, as his friends and he were sleeping downstairs. My mom came in at three in the morning and woke me up to make me go in there. Bah. It's not like we could do anything while we were sleeping. Anyways, then I went to sleep.

Zzzzzzzzzz.

Esmee woke me up the next morning. It was a pleasant awakening. Then we played video games in my room for a while. Then breakfast. Then more video games/television, and then Esmee and I went for a walk in the Conservation Area. That was fun. I walked her all the way around the lake, stopping at a few scenic locations. Yeah. Then we came back and picked a time to see Saw 2. Got in contact with Bitty, who was coming with us, and then watched tv for a while.

Then we went to my Aunt and Uncle's house, where Esmee met a bunch of my crazy relatives. They seemed to like her well enough. My Aunt gave me twenty dollars when I told I was going to the movies. I didn't know how much it was at first, as it was folded up and shoed into my hand in what was supposed to be a secretive fashion, but it was blatantly obvious. I thought it was a smaller bill at first, and didn't want to look at it because I thought that would be rude. But wheeee. Then we had dinner at their house, and man it was good. Roast beef. Soooo good. Then we had to get back to my house to get picked up by her dad, who we found waiting for us. I grabbed a bit more money and some ID, then was driven into Guelph to pick up Bitty, then to the Galaxy Cinema! We had no problems getting into the movie, they didn't even ask for ID. I guess I look 18 enough, and they were with me. I'm so cool.

The movie was fucking amazing. I mean, wow. It was so good! I highly recommend Saw 2. But make sure you see Saw first, as they're very much linked. But seriously, watch it. So good. I saw some people I recognized in the crowd, and they waved to me. I didn't wave back because I was unsure of their identities until it was too late. Yeah.

But yeah, movie good. Two thumbs up. I'd give it an eight point-five banjos out of ten. Yes, I can rate movies on scales made up of banjos. Shut up.

Then we hung around for over an hour playing DDR and the like. Rick, Jon, and another one whose name I cannot remember were there. It was grand.

Then Esmee's dad gave us a ride home. First Bitty, then myself. Then I assume Esmee was taken to her place or residence, but I don't know because I wasn't there. Maybe they drove to the moon instead. Though the moon doesn't exist. We discussed the validity of the moon landing on the way back. It was fun.

Anyways, that's been the last couple days for me. And man, they were awesome. For the vast majority of it, I had Esmee within arm's reach of me. Good stuff.

But as such, I'm very fucking tired right now. So I think I'm gonna go off to bed. I assume certain issues arose within the past few days that I desired to blog about, but I'll have to do that later.

So...

Until next time,
I'd give the past two days ten out of ten Oranges.
~Kataron

Sigh.

You know what?

Fuck it, I'm not in the mood for this right now.

Maybe tomorrow night, if you're lucky.

Where I Belong

*grumbles incoherently*

Yeah, yeah, I'm here, shaddup. I'm fucking tired. You just be lucky that you're getting a post.

Generic day today.

Morning: Hung out with Esmee.

Math: Didn't do much at all.

Second: Hung out with people under stairs.

Lunch: Same as morning, but with people around. Damn people. Watched Bitty and some guy with a name I don't care enough to remember. I was waiting for them to do something interesting. They weren't very interesting.

Writer's Craft: Read essays, got my Writer's Journal back.

Last: Hung out with Mitch, then met my lady-friend at her class. It was a buyout today, so I bought her a ticket to get out half an hour early. Huzzah!

Mitch is apparently going to drop his two remaining courses and get a job. He'll be back next semester, though. But he's already dropped English, so all he had was Guitar and Data Management. And let's face it, DM is a stupid course.

So he may soon be gone. *single tear*

My funeral is gonna be awesome.

Sorry to jump to a new topic, but fuck yeah. My funeral is gonna be so fucking cool. You wanna know why? Three words, bitches. Open. Chinese. Buffet. That's right. I want an open Chinese buffet at my funeral. Stick some dipping sauces in my hand, let people come up to the coffin and dip their foods. Or just prop me up in a corner and put a party hat on me. Snazzy! Plus I want a live band. It shouldn't be that sad an occasion. I mean hell, we all saw it coming. Look at my dietary habits. I'm fucked. Oh well. At least I'm goin' out with style. :D

Yeah. SO I was bitching about love, wasn't I?

Right, so I'm sick of all these little kids thinking they're in love. What the hell? They're not in love, they're in love with the concept of love. Well...I guess that makes them in love. But not in the correct way. *nods* It's our media, man. Our fucking media. Look at movies these days, there's always some sort of love interest for the main character. I mean, so many movies simply revolve around it. Bah. Our media is setting us up for defeat, giving us an image of love as something to aspire to, yet something we can't reach. We see the media's vision of love, the perfect love that they want people to see in the movies, the kind of love that ohsorarely actually exists. Fuck that shit, man. Fucking media. They're doing it on purpose. I haven't worked out why, but they're doing it. But I'll figure it out, and foil their evil plot.

Umm...Yeah. I'm not trying to say that all love is bullshit or whatever. It's just...A lot of people these days think they're in love. But they're not.

Ah, my lady-friend has had her computer returned, and it is now in working order. Huzzah for that! But I'll probably still call her every night, as I enjoy talking to her on the phone. She might come into Rockwood on Friday, as we have an early dismissal. If my parents approve, she might spend the night, as her parents already seem to have granted some form of approval. Aye.

I'm so tired.

I also need to do my Writer's Craft Project of something I've never done before. Since I haven't managed to acquire costumes yet, and the essay is due on Monday for editing, then I either need to do it without the costumes, or think of something different. Yeah...

Fuck, I'm tired. I should sleep.

Yeah.

Until next time,
Fabric. Just...Fabric.
~Kataron

Indigo

Yo ho, folks. I'm on a little earlier tonight, and fully intended to do a good, full blog post, but my dad's in a shitty mood, so he doesn't want me on too late. So we'll see how much I can cover.

Okay, I believe I left off during the wait for Esmee at Jared's place. She ended up being five hours later, because it took that long for them to get all of the blue out of her hair to make her blonde. Yeah...

At that point, I had given up on her getting there, and had finally left to get some Coke, and she arrived just as I was returning.

Yeah. Much fun was had by all that night. I got all close 'n snuggly with Esmee under a sleeping bag that I left there a couple months back. Watched people play video games, watched people burn coins, more snuggling. Pizza. Just generally good times.

And then, alas, Esmee had to go home. So I spent the next four hours meaninglessly meandering around the house, and ended up talking to Jared for about two hours in total. Good times. And then we ended up Google Fighting for half an hour.

Man, we need lives. Oh well.

Then the next morning, we made pancakes. Well, Nicky made pancakes. We watched with mild interest. Ate pancakes, then Rick left, after he found the game that we decided to hide from him for twenty minutes. Good times.

Then my mom picked me up and took me and my brother to the mall, where Ethan got a new game. Well, he traded in a broken game for a non-broken one. And then I got a new pair of pants. Good times.

Then home, typed up that Zombie Survival Guide, or most of it, and bathed. Then dinner, probably something else, and then talking on the phone with Esmee for three and a half hours. Yeah.

Then today, it was back to school. This was pretty okay, 'cause it meant more Esmee. I met her in the morning and hung out with her.

Then math. Had a quiz today, but I haven't paid attention this unit. I'm going to start putting a minimal effort into the course now. Yeah. At one point, I went to the washroom, and on my way encountered Esmee, who had to go down to the office. Her reasoning for being at the office turned out to be a misunderstanding of some sort, but I walked her to the office and then waited for her to get out so I could walk her back to class. Then I wandered around a bit more before going back to class.

Then second, where I finished typing up that Zombie Survival Guide. Then the printer in the library didn't work, and I didn't know how to fix it, so I saved it and left. Then Justin came back with me and we figured out how to work it, then I printed off my thing. Huzzah! There was also white sugary powdered donuts, which I rubbed under my nose to give the impression that I had just sorted some sort of powdered substance. Good times.

Then lunch, which was spent mostly just hanging around with people, Esmee in particular.

Then Writer's Craft, where we handed stuff in and read essays. I'll probably go more into that tomorrow.

Then during last period, Rick and I headed over to Food Basics, where Coke turned out to be on sale yet again. Huzzah! I bought two 2L Cokes, three cheesy buns, and a bag of chips. Good times.

Then generic hanging-outage under the stairs.

Then I met Esmee at her class and walked her to her locker, and then to the football field where she had field hockey practice.

And apparently! Apparently somebody asked her if I was her boyfriend, and then when she said yes, this mystery person said that I was kinda hot. Huzzah! I love random compliments from people I don't know. They make me feel so awesome, but I rarely ever recieve them. Oh well.

Then the rest of my day was kinda generic. Had a headache for a while. Walked around in the rain listening to music for an hour and a half. Then was on the phone with Esmee for about two hours. Good stuff.

Yeah, okay. I'm being bitched at to go to bed soon, so I'm going to just jump right into a rant about love.

People abuse the term love these days. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate it when people date for a week and then say that they're in love with the other person. No, you're fucking not. Love is something that builds up, it's not just something that happens. Love at first sight is all bullshit, there's not a single bit of truth to it. Love is an important goddamn emotion, and I hate how stupid people use it to describe their feelings to their stupid boyfriend/girlfriend when they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

It's not something you just say because you're dating a person. Okay? It's not. It's something you shouldn't say unless you're very goddamn sure. I've said it before and thought I meant it, then later realized that I was just really fucking stupid.

Tell you what.

Nate sleep now, and Nate rant more about it tomorrow. Hokay? Good.

Until next time,
Pah. Who wears pants these days?
~Kataron

Such Great Heights

hey hey folks.

Sorry about the lack of posting last night, I was just...Yeah, distracted. Totally worth the lack of post. Yeah.

Yeah, forgive any randomness in this post. I'm talking with Esmee on the phone right at this very second, and I'm kinda incredibly distracted. I've been on the phone with her for about two hours now. It's really hard to figure out what to say on here now. Sentences have become far too hard to finish.

Dammit, I actually intend to do a real post tonight, but here I am still talking to Esmee and it's been almost an hour since I started this post. Almost an hour, and this is all I have.

My days today and yesterday have been pretty damn good.

Yesterday, I got up, did that post, watched Spirited Away with Seth/Scott/Jared, and then basically hung aroud waiting for Esmee to get there.

Fuck. Now it's midnight and I don't have a post. I -just- got off the phone with Esmee, not a minute ago. I'll summarize the weekend tomorrow.

[Edit: Head down a post to see my Zombie Survival Guide for Writer's Craft class! Snazzy!]

Until next time,
If I was Captain Jack...I guess I'd be the Captain of something. Cool!
~Kataron

Zombie Survival Guide!

All righty. I need to type up my Zombie Survival Guide for school tomorrow, so I thought "What better place to type it up than ON MY BLOG?!?!?!" and then I did an Irish jig for three hours. And here we are.

Ahem.

ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE!!one

So, you want to survive the upcoming zombie apocalypse, eh?

General Information

The very first step is to identify the brand of invasion. There are stereotypically two different types of zombie invasions. Magical in nature, or a disease. The magic one can easily be dismissed. That's just plain silly. But in this world of crafted diseases we live in, a zombie plague isn't all that unlikely. So now that there's a clear default there, the brand of invasion is merely the level of it, the number of zombies involved. A small-scale conflict might be a few to half a dozen of them, travelling in a small group. They're not all that dangerous if you engage them from a distance, and do not get too close. A dozen or so is a moderately powerful force. If they split up, they can easily infect a lot more people, and they will not travel in a large group. That means you're more prone to finding smaller groups of zombies while fleeing. Not a good thing. A large-scale invasion constitutes anything above that, which can be anything from a few dozen to hundreds. That's when you really have to be careful.

Now that we've covered that, it's probably a good idea to know a few things about your undead foe.

First off, zombies don't speak. Their brains are too gone for that. They don't listen, either. This means that diplomacy is not a valid option. You shouldn't waste your breathe trying to communicate.

Zombies do not feel pain. They don't feel hunger. They don't feel lonely. They don't feel anything at all. There's only one way to stop a zombie for good, and that is to destroy what little is left of the brain. With a gun, a headshot should theoretically finish them off. With a blade, you actually have to sever the head from the body in order to stop it. The spine can make this diffiult, but with a strong swing and a sharp blade, it shouldn't be too hard. But that's only if you choose to fight them.

Zombies spread their disease by biting you. If you are bitten by a zombie, then you are going to die. There is no cure. There is no way of stopping the spread of this disease in your body. Try not to get bitten.

When you encounter these creatures, you have only two options. Fight or run. Fighting is probably not a particularly good idea. These things may be stupid, and usually slow, but they're quite powerful. Once one of them grabs you, you probably won't be able to pry their cold dead fingers off of you. And as you die if they bite you, close combat is not recommended. Until you are well enough armed to hold your own against the undead menace, retreat is your best bet. If you're lucky, the zombie will not be particularly fast, but some of them can actually be rather speedy, depending on how decomposed they are.

Retreat is therefore the other option, but retreat is fairly pointless unless you have somewhere to retreat to. But this will be covered in the next section.

When confronted by an invasion of zombies, you may wish to seek other people. You can always try to go it alone, but without somebody to cover your back, you may not last long. Though, there are clear upsides and downsides to having a party of people. You would be a larger group, so it may not seem as bleak as it would by travelling alone, but more people are more easily spotted. You may have somebody to cover your back, but this means you also have to watch over them. You may have more firepower in any battles against the undead, but your group will move slower, because a group is only as fast as it's slowest member. And then of course there's always the chance that one member of your party is insane or just stupid, and will endanger your entire party with their actions. So do try to be careful when deciding who to travel with.

Oh, and as a last note of general information about the undead, they may manifest themselves in different ways. Depending on the nature of the disease, it may or may not be infectious to animals as well. If it is, then you have quite the problem on your hand, as animals are smaller, faster, and more abundant than humans. If you're bitten by a zombie dog, you're dead. So be careful if and when you should happen across any animals. But it should be rather evident whether or not the creature (or person, for that matter) has been infected.

Now that this has been covered, we're moving on to...

Taking the Defensive

In a world of zombies, there are few truly safe places. Most people would choose to retreat to their own houses. For the sake of familiarity. This is not a good idea. You may feel more comfortable in your own home, but you're not safe. Unless your house is a veritable fortress that the zombies cannot possibly enter, you must find somewhere safe. A bomb shelter could theoretically work, but you're more likely to run out of food or water before the zombies disappear. And bomb shelters get claustrophobic. The safest place would be somewhere protected, with supples. A mall could work, depending on the design and layout. But a mall is also fairly large, and therefore difficult to defend. It also depends on the stores that the mall contains, whether you have food, weapons, and anything else you will need.

You might also consider hiding in a police station, but they generally don't have much in the way of food. Though, there aren't many safer places than a prison cell. But once you're in, it's a little difficult to get out. One of the best places to set up camp would be a convenience store. These, like the malls and police stations, have barred windows. Something the owner put in to prevent theft can now be used to protect you from zombies. There will generally not be any weapons lying around a convenience store, but there will be plenty of food.

An important part of keeping to one place is to know it like the back of your hand. You must know where it is possible for the zombies to break in, and you must fortify it so they won't be able to. You must also have an escape route, if not multiple escape routes. Should they happen to break in, you need to know exactly where to go to get the hell out of there. It's not a bad idea to set up traps before hand, to slow the zombies from following you as you escape. You may even want to go so far as to place incindiary devices in key locations to burn the store down as you flee from it, and burn any zombies inside.

But the single most important part of choosing a place to hold is to consider supplies. I cannot stress this enough. You -must- have enough food. Zombies don't need food to keep going, they're already dead. If you run out of food, you're going to have to try to find more, and that means risking your neck and going outside to try to find it, and there's always a very good chance that you won't come back. So before you decide to stay anywhere, make sure that you have enough food and other needed supplies.

And always be prepared to make a quick retreat. The zombies won't wait for you to finish up in the washroom before they break in and try to eat you. You may not even have time to wipe. Always, always, always be ready to run like hell and get out of there.

And should you be forced to run, taking a few extra supplies would be a good idea. You don't know how long it's going to be until you next find food or shelter. So be prepared. Have a bag with a few needed supplies ready at all times, so you can just grab it and run if they happen to break in.

Now that we've covered the defensive aspect of zombie survival, it's time we move on to...

Taking the offensive

If you simply must tske the offensive, at least have a good reason for doing so. Don't do it just to be heroic. Your death won't be remembered. And don't try to plough through dozens of zombies to rescue your cat. It's a fucking cat. Let go. It will die or it will live, it hardly matters at this point. The dead have risen from their graves. Just let go.

But, if you really think that you have a good reason for braving the zombies, then knock yourself out. But before you go outside, have a plan. It's not a good idea to be wandering the streets while zombies stumble towards you. Not a good idea at all. Know where you're going, why you're going, and how to get there. If possible, know multiple routes to get there, in case one if inhabited by zombies.

Most people will want some sort of protective covering. If it doesn't inhibit your movement, then sure. If it makes you feel safe, then knock yourself out. But armour doesn't really defend you against zombies. Anything thick enough to withstand zombie bites will be large and bulky, and it will slow you down. The zombies will then proceed to tear you limb from limb. You lose. Bullet-proof vests? Yeah, maybe if they weren't just vests. Or if the zombies knew how to work a gun. But zombies will neither work guns, nor attack your chest. That's not how it works. A zombie will attempt to bite your limbs, your arms or legs, or possibly your neck. An exposed area that's easy to bite. And it doesn't matter where they bite you, as soon as they do, you might as well already be dead.

There is no effective means of protection from these monsters. Wear something that won't inhibit your movement, something you can move quickly in. Against the walking dead, speed is probably your best defence.

Now that you know that, weapons are in order.

The first type of weapon to examine is blades. These can be incredibly dangerous to use, because you have to get quite close in order to be able to use it. Unless you're stupid enough to try to throw the knife. Then all you've managed to accomplish is wasting a good knife. Good job. If you're crazy enough to be attacking zombies with a blade, at least make sure it's sharp. The last thing you want is to be surrounded by zombies, while wielding naught but a dull blade. Short blades are generall useless, you have to get far too close, and those blades work better for stabbing. Do not stab a zombie. If you recall from earlier, these creatures do not feel pain. So you won't get the effect that you want. A machete would work well, as they're designed to hack their targets to bits, whether their target is vegetation or undead flesh. It won't kill a zombie to hack off its limbs, but it will slow them down. A good machete swing should have enough power to rid the creature of its head.

A sword of some sort would also work. A katana, a broadsword, that kind of thing. Unfortunately, these items are notoriously difficult to locate. And should you happen to come across one, it will most likely be more for decorative purposes than for hacking zombies to bits, so it may not be as sharp as one would like. But if you can locate a good sword, then you should have the range and sharpness to hold off a zombie, but a swarm could still overwhelm you.

Another popular means of defense is the axe. The fact that the axe blade is weighted as it is means that you can get more force into the swing, as the weight follows through and inertia takes care of the rest. But the blade is not altogether large, so it may be a little harder to hite a zombie with an axe than a machete. But a well-aimed hit to the neck will sever their head as easily as an axe splitting a piece of wood.

Avoid kitchen knives altogether, even the large ones, for the reasons stated earlier. They're much to small to have an effect. You're not very likely to be able to sever a zombie's head with a kitchen knife.

The other category of weapons would, of course, be firearms. Guns. The major drawback of these weapons is that they require ammunition, whereas blades require only bravery. Or stupidity, but bravery sounds nicer. Anyways, guns.

The smallest practical firearm would be the pistol. These can be effective if you've got a little training. Otherwise, it's difficult to get the headshot necessary to drop the zombie. There are different types of pistols, as well. It's probably best to go for a more modern pistol, with clips holding up to twelve shots or so. If you're a good shot, that means twelve less zombies with one clip. Snazzy. But I myself am a fan of the classic six-shot magnum revolvers. My ideal weapons would be two of these. The classic look, the six shots, the raw power. You see, these pistols, though lacking in shots, are much more powerful than the average pistol. It's just a very dramatic weapon. And hey, if the dead are rising from their shallow graves and eating people, why -not- be dramatic? Of course, this is discouraged for anyone who is more interested in survival than being dramatic. More ammunition per clip means more potentially eliminated enemies. With pistols, go for something bigger, with a twelve-shot clip.

Then there's shotguns. This is the stereotypical zombie slaying weapon. The bane of zombies. This may have been started with the Evil Dead movies, but I suspect that the stereotype was around beforehand. Whereas the pistol shot only covers a small area when it hits, the shotgun shells have a much larger impact. This makes it much easier to acquire the well-needed headshot. If it doesn't get a headshot, it should at least be able to do some serious damage to the zombie. The only problems with this weapon are that they tend to be rather bulky and harder to carry, and ammo can be a problem. Older shotguns can only carry one or two shots, but the newer models can carry more. If possible, obtain a newer shotgun, as reloading is a potentially deadly task. And as a note, shotguns can be dramatic too.

Another effective weapon would be the rifle. The good ones these days are less legal than other weapons, but just as effective, if not more. These weapons are usually semi-automatic to automatic, meaning that they can pump out a serious bullet spray. Instead of the single shots, these can fire a few rounds a second. But automatic weapons are also very inaccurate, as they shake with the continous stream of bullets. They also eat through bullets rather quickly. Semi-Automatics are probably best in this regard, as you can more easily track your ammunition use. Also, as it isn't a continous stream, it will more likely shake less. That's good. If you are using a fully automatic weapon, don't continously fire. Chances are, you're a civilian that hasn't had any formal training with firearms. This means that a continous stream of bullets will most likely result in a series of misses, or at best, body shots. And since headshots are the only thing that will slay these creatures, that just won't do. Rest the butt of the gun against your shoulder, take aim, and fire in quick, short bursts. Less shake, less chance of missing, less wasted ammo. Rifles are definately good against zombies.

Then there's sniper rifles. These are -not- weapons to use in close combat. Snipers re for backup purposes only. They need to be located in high, hiden places, places where they have a good view of everything. They have to be able to see as much as possible of where the person they are backing up is going. Slow and steady wins the race. As long as the sniper is far away from the zombies, he/she should theoretically be safe. And they can therefore take their time to line up a good headshot. Most zombies don't move particularly fast anyawy, so they won't be avoiding your shots well. They're also not smart enough to figure out where the shots are coming from, so you should be safe. Unless, of course, there are already zombies in the building that the sniper is hiding in, and they hear the shots. Then they'll come for you. Do be careful.

Another potential weapon is a flamethrower. Do not use a flamethrower, please. These are not nearly as effective as you might like to believe. The zombies will not feel pain. Using a flamethrower will do nothing but turn the zombies into walking torches, and they'll just keep coming at you. Flaming opponents trying to get close enough to grab you or bite you, not good, not good at all. And with the limited range of the flamethrower, they would already be fairly clse. And they won't stop. Not to mention the fact that a good flamethrower is incredibly hard to come by.

There are a variety of other firearms that might defeat zombies, but it seems very unlikely that you're going to acquire a minigun or a rocket launcher. But hey, if you do, more power to you. Just try not to blow yourself up.

Now we'll cover some general tips and tools to keep in mind when operating firearms.

Laser sights are good. A laser sight on a pistol or a rifle could increase your accuracy exponentially. If you can acquire one of these, or a weapon already outfitted with one, then huzzah! You can attempt to create a makeshift one involving a laser pointer, but this will most likely be less effective. Laser sights let you see exactly where your bullet is going, so you can get a headshot every time. That means that every bullet you fire should be dropping a zombie for good.

Ammunition conservation with any weapon is essential. You can't just go to a store and pick up some more ammo. If you happen to come across an un-looted gun store, then grab as much ammo as you can carry. Ammunition equals survival in a world filled with zombies.

You should also keep alternate forms of ammunition in mind, as some weapons are capable of firing things like explosive shells. And blowing up a zombie is just as good as getting a headshot. But these types of ammunition are generally a lot harder to come by, so it's doubtful that you'll come across any.

Conclusion

Keep in mind everything that I've said in this guide. It's definately not easy to survive in a world filled with zombies, but it's doable. But even this guide will not protect you if you don't have a sharp mind and basic survival skills. So do yourself a favour and prepare now, before the zombies come. It'll be a lot easier now than when they're clawing at your windows and trying to get into your house to eat you.

Good luck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah...That's my Zombie Survival Guide. I tried to get on a personal level with the reader, by speaking sort of in the first person, saying my preferences, saying 'you' and the like. All of that goes together to hopefully get me on a personal level with the reader. I really hope it worked.

I hope you've enjoyed this insight, and I hope you survive the Zombie Apocalypse. I know I will.

Until next time,
I fucking hate zombies.
~Kataron

Eternal Sunshine Theme

Danananana. HEY! Dananana.

At this very moment, Jared is lying in bed not a few feet from me ranting about cold coffee. And he's not wearing a shirt.

Ewwwwwwwww.

Yep.

Sorry about the lack of posting, we were just all very drunk and high and constipated. By which I mean none of those things. It's currently about eleven forty ina the morning, and we just woke up.

Last night was..........

Interesting.

Jared's new roommate is....

Interesting.

We ended up watching Garden State and Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. We might watch 'em again later. Or something.

We also had some interesting experiences.

The first of which was being locked out of Jared's house because only one of them had a key and he didn't know when we were showing up and we had to wait outside for quite a while. But the company was good, so okay.

I also saw Esmee on MSN for the first time last night. Right before I left to get picked up by Seth. Yay! Her screenname was something along the following, I've had Jared help me rebuild it (he told me about the first .:. thing and then I assumed there was a second but he couldn't rememeber so I said meh and added one anyhow *deep breath*

Esmee.:.Nate<3>.:.

w00t. I feel awesome. She's supposed to be showing up somewhere around...Two hours from now. I can't wait. ^_^

But Seth apparently has to leave early 'cause he needs to pick up an amp or something. Dang. I'ma smack that bitch. No I won't. It's Seth. Love that kid. Oh, Scott came too. He wasn't sure if he could or not, but then he did, and he's a cool kid, so huzzah!

Then we burned things with a blowtorch while Jared was on the phone. They have a phone now, apparently. It didn't work before but now it works and they're not quite sure why.

We burned...

• Marshmallows
• Salt
• Salt with Sugar mixed in
• Peanut butter
• And an orange.

Nifty!

Anyways, I'd better head off and beat them all at various video games. I'll try to post again later if'n I don't get distracted.

Until next time,
Do they teach that in the CIA?!
~Kataron

Sugar We're Going Down

Evenin' folks.

Late again, which is becoming more and more usual, there therefore less...late, I guess. Just spent the last two hours and fifteen minutes talking to Esmee on the phone. That's two hours and fifteen minutes tonight, an hour and a half last night, and an hour and forty-five minutes the night before. We don't talk too much...

My day was pretty decent. Hung out before school, worked on Writer's Craft during math. Then during my second-period spare, I hung out with Wyatt. First in the library, where we got our geek on, and then we went to Food Basics. I purchased food, and he was about to, when he realized that he didn't have his wallet. Meanwhile, I carried on a short conversation about cheese buns with the cashier girl. It's always kinda sad when you're in a store enough to have conversations with the people that work there, when you don't even know them. Oh well. Then we went back to Ross, and Wyatt set out on a plan of attack to acquire his wallet, and goodies. He planned to run to his house and get it. He left his Nintendo DS with me, and I played Meteos. FUCK that game is good. I mean, wow. Simply amazing. Yeah. Then Wyatt came back and decided that he'd just call his mom and have her drop off the wallet. Which worked. I took the DS to meet Esmee at her class, and she seemed intrigued by it. Indeed, once lunch began, she played, and emasculated me by getting further than I did. Granted, she turned the difficulty down a notch, but still. Then lunch was over.

Then Writer's Craft, where we watched the end of the movie. We managed to rid the screen of the display thingy, so we got to watch it normally. And when we weren't adding our own words, it was pretty good. Then at the end, we discussed stuff, and I said that I hate communism. The guy was a communist in it. Downside of the movie.

Damn commies.

Wouldn't this:

Communism bad.
Alliteration good!

be a cool t-shirt? Yeah, it would be! That was decided today in Writer's Craft, it should be my t-shirt. I hate communism but looooooove alliteration! I mean, whenever we're reading a poem that has alliteration, I basically cheer about it. I'm that nuts about alliteration. It's such a cool device.

Then last period.

Didn't even get kicked out from under the stairs today. Booyah. I win! I beat the system! I assume.

You can't keep me out of there for too long, dammit. That's my spot. I'm there 3/5 of the goddamn school day. No lie. That's what I get when I have two spares, lunch, and the pre-school period, and spend it all in there...Yeah.

Tomorrow, we have a work period in Writer's Craft. Snazzy! That means I get to work more on my zombie survival guide, which will be posted up here sometime in the near future, probably this weekend.

This weekend!

Yay!

Seth!

^_^

I'm so psyched for him to come down. I think I might rent Land of the Dead, the new zombie movie. That'd be awesome to watch. If you want to meet Seth and you haven't yet, and you read this blog post, talk to me about it before this weekend, and we'll see what we can do. But Seth's a busy and attractive man.

Now, what to rant about today? Oh yeah! I had a rant!

Clubs.

At school.

School clubs.

We've got a bunch of them at Ross. We've got...uhh...Well, I haven't really paid much attention. So I'll just go by what I remember. There's the Model Airplane Club. Gay with a capital GAY. The Harry Potter Club. The Japanese Club. The Christians in Action. The Gay/Straight Alliance. Written At Ross. There's usually a robotics club thing but I'm not sure 'cause Mr. Kaune's not back yet and I miss him. There's the Environment Club. And then probably some others.

...Where to begin?

Model Airplane club. I'm sad to say that I was a member of this pathetic organization back in grade nine. It's dumb. You build and fly around model airplanes. Who the fuck cares? Honestly. That's so lame. The best part about it was when we sat around and played games but weren't supposed to. Or crashing the airplane in the flight simulator. Screw model airplanes. Figuratively. You wouldn't want the propellor cutting anything off.

Then the Harry Potter club. Okay, I can dig it. Harry Potter was pretty snazzy. But you've got to be pretty pathetic to get together once a week and talk about a series of books. It's a series of books. You don't see a Dragonlance Club, or a Forgotten Realms Club. So shut it. I don't wanna hear about the goddamn snitch. It's a good read, but some people are a little WAY TOO FUCKING INTO IT. Get some fucking lives, people. And you know it's sad when somebody that blogs every night is telling you to get a life.

Seriously.

Then the Japanese Club. It's new. ...Okay? I don't really know. I've never been. I had some friends that tried to go, but they wouldn't let them into the room or something. I dunno. Anybody been to a meeting? Care to enlighten us? Yeah, I dunno.

So here's how I assume the meetings go. First, they all meet. Right? With me so far? Then they get into giant robots and fight each other.

...

THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME! I should go.

Then there's the Christians in Action. They call themselves the CIA. That kinda creeps me out, as I distrust allusions to government organizations. Even American ones. That's just American, right? We don't have one of them, do we? Man...Anyways. Yeah. I don't know what they do. And let's be honest. I don't care.

Then there's the Gay/Straight Alliance. I don't like this organization simply because of the use of the word 'Alliance' in their name. Alliances scare me, I'm always worried they're allied against me. And if the straight people and the gay people ally against me, who do I have on my side? The bisexuals! And they can't make up their minds on anything. I'm screwed. Hopefully figuratively. :(

Then Written At Ross. Fuck you, Written At Ross. You rejected my Elf Song, and you'll all burn in hell for it. DIE! DIE! DIE!!! Though they're entirely new members now, and I'll probably resubmit my Elf Song at some point. I hold grudges. I used to go to this, and I would vote against everything.

Then there's the robotics club. Mr. Kaune used to head this up, and he's still away takin' care of his new young'un, so I don't think it's back up yet. Maybe Mr. Marten does it. I dunno. But basically, a bunch of nerds get together and make robots, then make them do shit. How cool is that? I'd suck at this. I'm not good with the whole engineering aspect of computers. Well, I'm okay I guess. But I couldn't build a robot. And for the programming it of making it do things, I'd have to learn how to interact with everything on the robot, and that sounds like an awful lot of effort on my part. But other than that, pretty sweet, eh?

Then the Environment Club. Fuck that shit. Fuck the environment. Fuck outside. I'll stay inside, thanks. No environment for me. I don't know what they do, I don't see their reasoning for doing it. I just keep to myself, they don't bother me. It's a good system. But the moment they try to get me, BAM! Ninja skillz on their hippy asses. Fucking hippies.

And there's probably other clubs. I heard something about a friendship club on the announcements today. It sounded exceedingly lame. They wanted people to write nice letters to people or something. I wasn't really paying attention. I considered writing Jared a threatening letter, but the humour would have been lost, as he has a first period spare, comes late to school every day, and doesn't hear the announcements. Sigh.

Those seem to be the clubs of Ross. If anybody can think of any more, then feel free to tell me. I'll then proceed to burn them.

Right...It's recently come to my attention that College/University dorms are often the targets of pranks. So let's take a little lesson in prank-defense, shall we?

First off, make sure there's only one way into your dorm room. Block other doors, make sure all windows are both closed and locked. Force them to come in where you want them to. If you can force them through a smaller area, a hall or something, a smaller foyer, then you've already won. Just make sure that this is the only possible way in, so you're not surprised while ambushing them. It's never good for the ambushers to get ambushed.

Turn off the lights. You know your dorm. They don't. Use that to your advantage. If you know of pranking that will be happening, if you've received a heads-up, turn out the lights. This both lulls them into a false sense of security, and gives you the advantage. If they think you've gone to sleep, then they won't be expecting a counter-attack. If the light switch is near the door, where they can get it, then actually unscrew the bulb. Do something to ensure that they can't get the light on.

Mouse traps. On the floor. In the dark. If they happen to be barefoot or in sandals, then pow. Pain. And they won't see it, because it's so damn dark.

Buckets of various fluids over partially open doors. That's an old one, but a classic. People don't expect it anymore.

Water balloons and water guns are useful. Especially when it's cold outside.

Various objects filled with whipped cream, ready for the flinging.

Pillows, filled with various objects.

Note that this is all just defense. Pranking THEM will be another lesson. And this defense is mostly relying on the element of surprise. Ambush them before they can ambush you, dammit.

Anyways, fuck. I'm tired. Nate sleep now.

Until next time,
I am putty in your hands. You know, that putty that smells cool? Comes in the little plastic container? That's me. I can even do that imprint thing on paper. Snazzy!
~Kataron

Theme

Greetings and salutations.

Right, let's get right to it.

My day:

Morning, hung out with Esmee. Good times.

Math, didn't do much. Good times.

Second period, new spare. Hung out with Wyatt and Justin, went to Food Basics. Good times.

Lunch. Lunch. Good times.

Third. Writer's Craft. Good times.

Last. Got kicked out from under stairs again. Good times. Wait...Not good times. *shakes fist*

Today there was an extra forty minutes after school, which I spent hanging out with Esmee and others. Good times.

Then I was home, played video games, watched tv, went for a walk, then spoke wtih Esmee on the phone for an hour and a half. Good times.

I'm enjoying my new spare. Justin and Wyatt, man. It's awesome. We hung around and spoke of random things and video games.

Oh.

I found a game while surfing the net the other day. It was called The Bible Game. For Xbox. It looked downright hilarious, like a crappy party game gone wrong. It's like...Mario Party, but lamer, and with religious stuff. Funny.

Yeah. And during lunch, Esmee's sister Sydney found us. You see, she didn't yet know that Esmee and I were going out. Her family didn't know either. Somebody spilled the beans to Sydney, and she set off in search of us when lunch began. When she found us under the stairs, I had my head resting in Esmee's lap at the time, so there wasn't really a way to look like nothing was happening. Oh well. Now apparently she will be teased about it at home, just like I'm being teased about it here. My dad now refers to me as 'Lover Boy' most of the time. Bah.

And in Writer's Craft, we watched a movie. Well, we tried. The movie was in Italian, so we couldn't understand anything, and it was all subtitled. Unfortunately, half of the subtitles were covered by that damn VCR display thing that shows how much of the movie we've watched, and there was no way to rid the screen of it. So we went by with only half the subtitles, and the story-line wasn't all that great. Basically, from what I could tell, there was a poet, and a mailman, and the mailman was stalking the poet. Then the mailman wanted to be a poet so he could get with some chick, and the guy was going to teach him. Then he was stalking the chick.

That's the story-line to me!

Yeah.

Then Rick and I got kicked out of under the stairs again. Mind you, I'll be back tomorrow. Mr. Coffey could not adequately tell me why me sitting under the stairs was a fire hazard, so I don't see any reason in listening to him about it. So yeah. I'll be back tomorrow, and the next day. That's my goddamn spot. It's either that, the caf (which now appears to actually be open during that period, which it wasn't before) or the library, where you can neither hold a decent conversation, nor drink/eat. Or I could go outside, but outside is fucking cold. So fuck that shit. Under the stairs is my fucking PLACE. Piss off.

Yeah.

So, I guess I have to give advice tonight.

My first bit of advice is to go out to Ryan, general tips on attracting the ladies.

I know this sounds cheesy and cliche, but be yourself. Eventually a girl will fall for you (if it can happen to me, it can happen to you). It'll happen. Don't try to change yourself to impress a lady. Otherwise they'll fall for the person that isn't really you. And then it's no fun, because you feel like you always have to be that false person if you want to be with them. Be yourself, and when a girl falls for you, it will really be for you. And all will be grand.

Another piece of advice, listen and learn. Pick up bits from conversation that some people might disregard or forget. Keep them in mind, and bring them back later. Then they feel like you've really been listening, because you have been. Listen, learn, and find a way to woo her. As you learn more and more about her, planning attempts to woo her will become easier and easier.

Also, don't keep it a secret that you're interested. Don't just jump in and say it before you think it's time, but don't go through too much effort to hide it. It shouldn't be something to hide, to be ashamed of.

Umm...Yeah. I'll add more generic lady-advice as I come up with it.

There's also another topic involving sex that I'm supposed to give advice on, but I'm not entirely sure what to say. In this case, the deed has already been done and it seems to be rearing it's head again, later. I think it's more of a private matter, myself. I don't see why other people should be discussing it, or why it should matter to them at all. I'll rant more about this later, when it appeals to me to do so.

I am the tired.

But I wanna bitch more.

So Jack Thomspon. A while back, he put up a bet. A 'Modest Video Game Proposal'. It was basically as follows.

'The game proposal is considerably violent, following a disgruntled father of a killing victim who takes his revenge upon the games industry, which he blames for 'training' the man who killed his son. The father begins a spree of murders in retaliation, attacking the offices of "Take This," who made the game, and killing the chairman "Paula Eibeler" and her family. The father then begins a road trip across the states, back to Los Angeles, then assaulting the law firm "Blank, Stare" who represent "Take This" and various gaming arcades and games stores before arriving at E³ and completing a "monstrously delicious rampage" on the participants.'

Any quotes here are from Wikipedia. Great site. If somebody made that game, he said he would give $10,000 to the chairman of Take Two, Paul Eibeler. Well, not so much to him, but to a charity of his choosing. Yeah.

So, some people actually did it. And then Jack Thomspon said that it was all satire, and that he wasn't going to give anybody any money. Of course, we should all know that he's named it after Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal', where Swift suggested that people eat babies.

Jack Thompson thinks he's so clever. Whenever anybody contradicts him, he swears at them, insults them, and then threatens legal action. In that order. He's not the brighest goat in the bushel.

So Gabe and Tycho of Penny Arcade decided to go ahead and donate the $10,000 just like Jack said. In his name. Oh, I love you guys. <3

But fuck, I'm tired. Jack Thompson is a dirty communist.

More ranting tomorrow, I promise.

Until next time,
The square root of a fish is a piece of bacon.
~Kataron

Ode to Fried Chicken

Hey hey, folks. We've got a later entry tonight, as I just spent the last hour and forty-five minutes talking to Esmee on the phone. She called RIGHT as House was starting, so I plugged in the portable phone and brought it upstairs so I could try to do both. It didn't really work, and I missed most of what was going on in House, but I did have fun talking to Esmee, so it's all good.

Fuck, it's like...Already eleven, and that's when I'm supposed to go to bed. This won't be a long entry, and I'm afraid I'll have to delay the advice-giving another day. :( But I'll try to get on a library computer tomorrow during second and post something about the whole advice stuff. Yeah. :)

So, my day. A summary.

Before class, I hung out under the stairs. Everybody showed up again, and I got no private time with Esmee. Bitty seemed to be the only one that really gathered that we wanted to be alone, and she showed up a little later than the others. Thanks for that, though it didn't end up mattering :p Tomorrow we plan on wandering off for a while in the morning, where nobody will find us. Muahahaha. So don't look.

Anyways, then math. Had a quiz. I've decided that I should stop putting no effort into it. I don't need to do well in the course, but I need to -pass-, so minimal effort will now be put forth. Yeah.

Had a guidance appointmeht this period, got down to talk to Mr. Tubbs about dropping my second-period course. He gave me the sheet, spoke to me a bit, and then gave me a book about colleges. Excellent. Then I went back to class. I subsequently immediately requested a bathroom break, which I then took. I ended up talking to Rachel for a while on the way back. Fun stuff.

Then second. First, I walked Esmee to her class, then I went to mine to get the teacher to sign the drop sheet. Once that was done, I took it back to Guidance, and then wandered around for a while. Ended up in the library with Wyatt and Justin, who both have spares that period now. Man, second period is gonna rock so much now. w00t. Anyways, then I left near the end of it to write in my journal for Writer's Craft, which was due the next period. Well, after lunch. Yeah. Then I went to Esmee's class to meet her at it's end and walk her to her detention (I still feel bad, but the skipping was totally worth it.), and then once she was inside, I went back to the understairsness and finished my journal entry.

Then the rest of lunch came and went. I don't remember anything in specific about this.

Then Writer's Craft, which was cool. We had Stokely as a substitute. Anybody that knows Stokes knows that this makes for an interesting period. He made all sorts of jokes and we accomplished very little, handed in our journal entries, and read some imagist poems. 'twas fun.

JARED WAS ACTUALLY THERE TODAY!

A Christmas miracle. Months early, too!

Then we wrote a really weird poem that I didn't like. I'll post it on here tomorrow.

Then Jared gave me a cookie. This will be a whole different rant, probably tomorrow or the next day.

Last period was........Interesting.

Until I got kicked out of the fucking halls. Fuck you, Mr. Coffey. He was walking by, and then he had to stop and tell us that we couldn't be in the hall there. Fuck that shit. He said we should be in either the caf or the library. Which is fucking bullshit. Has anybody else noticed the sign on the caf that says it's open after 2:15? It's not. I forget if that sign's still up there, but the janitors are cleaning in there, and the doors are locked. Commie bullshit. And the in the library, you can't eat or drink, nor can you carry on a decent conversation. So our only other option was to go outside.

It's very fucking cold outside.

I only left 'cause he said he'd be back that period. I'll be right back there tomorrow. That's the way it has been done, and that is the way it shall continue to be. It is my way to fight the power. But as with today, when I went outside, some strategic retreats are necessary.

Yeah.

So fuck that shit.

Then the end of the day came around. Nothing really notable here.

That's basically been my day. When I got home, I played video games until dinner, which was the same thing as last night. Perogies. I love that shit. Then more games. A little tv. Called Esmee's house, was told she wasn't in and would be back in a bit. Then at nine, RIGHT as House is starting, she calls :p Oh well.

Oh, and I'm going to Seth's this weekend! YEAH! I love going to Seth's. <3<3<3. We watch movies and play games and have a rockin'-good time. Always. I absolutely love him, he's one of my bestest buddies in the whole wide world. It's been over a month since I've last seen him. But I'll be seeing him soon, so it's all good.

But...I should be heading off to bed now.

I'm sorry of tonight's entry didn't tackle any real issues, or deal with any major problems, or battle the forces of evil, but...Yeah. I didn't really expect to be talking to Esmee that long :p I thought the conversation might end shorty after house, but then forty minutes later...Yeah.

I'll find something to bitch about tomorrow, and make a big issue out of it. I have a topic in mind, but it might not go over so well.

Anyways, I'd better be off to bed.

Until next time,
All of which makes me anxious, at times unbearably so.
~Kataron

Ask DNA

Dumdeedeedum.

Here am I, yet again. Miss me? Of course you did. I'm fucking awesome.

It's a little earlier than normal blogging, but meh. Last time, I was on the phone for quite some time. I probably will be again, soon enough :p I just called Esmee, but got no answer. Got the answering machine, but that's another rant.

This rant, to be precise.

I hate answering machines. I hate them, I hate them, oh how I despise them. I just...I don't like leaving messages, I just can't do it. I do't like leaving my voice there. Where anybody can listen to it. I don't like that, I don't like that at all. I don't know why. I don't have an answering machine at my house. I try to not deal with them at all. Messages seem so...Impersonal. I just...Gah. If I call and get the machine, I will hang up and try again later. I'm obsessive compulsive like that.

So, my day?

Got up normally. And I was actually looking forward to going to school for once. I'll let you work out the exact reasoning yourselves.

Got to school, and met with Esmee. On the phone last night, I had asked her to meet me under the stairs that we might have a little bit of time alone. Of course, we didn't get much time at all. Bitty found us fairly early on, and the rest followed. Oh well.

Then something something math class.

I was given a slip to tell me to go down to the Vice Principal's office at nine forty-five. Bah, I thought to myself.

I'm gonna go try to call Esmee again. I'll finish this later.

Or now. Bah, she seems to be out at her grandmother's house or something. Oh well, I'll see her tomorrow.

Anyways, on with my story!

So I went down to the Vice Principal's office at the appointed time, and was met with a rather lengthy line. I cursed under my breath and took a seat on the uncomfortable bench. That bench is their first line of defense, to break down the spirits of the students. Merely sitting down allows them to begin to slowly eat away at you. You need to have the proper defenses. You need a distraction, something to take your mind off of the impending doom and the uncomfortable feeling in your back. A discman or other listening device works well. It also works if you have somebody else there you can talk to, so that you may share your troubles and ponder as to why, oh why, they have called you down.

Anyways, confering with a few other trouble-makers led me to the belief that I was, in fact, there to be bitched at about my student fee.

Bah!

Thirty-five dollars of wasted money. I had thought that my down-payment on Friday of ten dollars would have appeased them for at least a few days. But nooo, as soon as we get back, BAM! Bitched at all over again.

Anyways, I got into the inner office after about twenty minutes of wasted time. I was immediately faced with the question 'We've already had this conversation, haven't we?' to which I responded Yes. Then she asked me where the ten dollars that I was supposed to have in by Friday was. I was a little put off by this question, as I had handed it in. I responded, telling her that I had handed it in, and she said good. What the hell? Don't you have some form of record of that? Why the fuck are you calling me down to ask for more money when you haven't even bothered to check if you have the money I was already supposed to give you? Gosh.

The conversation continued, with her asking me when I might be giving her more money. I responded by saying that I would when I had the money. She asked me if I could get money from somebody at home, and I said that I would. When they had money. I told that we can barely afford to keep food on the table, so student fees took a back seat to that and bills. Then she commented on volunteer work to make up for the money. I bit my tongue and stopped myself from a comment along the lines of 'Fuck that'. I said that I would have the money in, it would just be late. Then she said that I needed to have another ten dollars in within two weeks, and then I left. All of this took place in less than three minutes.

Oh, and before this all happened, Ms. Tremblay spoke to me. Firstly, she was disappointed that I was dropping my Food and Nutrition class, because she feels that if I stay in it, I might stop drinking Coke. I don't really see that happening, but meh. Then she talked to me about how I shouldn't make people skip their classes because I'm dropping mine.

Esmee was apparently called down there for skipping. Received three detentions. Damn. Oh well, at least it's just a few detentions. Detentions don't mean much. But I still feel bad about it, as it's my fault she skipped. I shall try to find some way to make it up to her.

Anyways.

It irritates me that Ms. Tremblay is the detention lady. She's the one that has to talk to all of the tardy and skipping kids. It irritates me because it makes me feel bad about it all. She's one of my favourite teachers, one whom I both like and respect. I wish the detention lady was a teacher that I could properly despise. Bah.

Anyways, then I didn't bother to go to second, 'cause I'm dropping it. I went to guidance to schedule an appointment. Then I hung out under the stairs for the rest of the period. It seems to be what I do now. Just...Being under the stairs. Yeah.

Then lunch. Esmee had her first detention today, and lunch just didn't seem the same. It wasn't all that much fun. But detentions only last twenty minutes, so then she showed up and all went back to a state of semi-normalness, though I still felt quite bad about the whole detention thing. Yeah.

Then Writer's Craft. Jared was absent again, that stupid bastard. He's missing so goddamn many classes lately. I'ma kick him in the balls.

Today in Writer's Craft, we finished our poem from Friday, with the fifty words, group of five, blah blah blah. Actually, we lost ours, so we rewrote it.

I hated it.

But it was apparently the best of the four that were written, as there was a vote, and our group one. We even got prizes. Ms. St. Jean is moving out of the room, so she's trying to get rid of her stuff. I got a book of poetry, for whatever reason.

That was basically the period.

Then last period, random hanging out under stairs. Met Esmee at her class at the end of it.

Random end of the day hanging out.

Bus ride home.

Video games.

Dinner.

Video games.

Walking around Rockwood in the rain.

And that brings us to this post. Yay!

And I've just remembered that I have some advice to dispense once I'm done with this post. Oh well, I enjoy giving advice. Makes me feel like I know stuff. If any of my readers ever need advice on anything, I am perfectly willing to give it. If it is a matter you are willing to discuss on the blog, it can be discussed in comments, and you can get the input of the other blog readers. If it's a matter that's more...personal, feel free to email me.

The Kataron's email is phate222@hotmail.com. And I love to receive email. Even hate mail. Please, hate me! The only hate mail I've ever gotten was from Justin. And it was pretty awesome hate mail. He said:

'Hate Mail! You're too damn cool, make me look less cool by comparison! That's why I send hate mail!'

Oh, I love Justin. So entertaining. And it was pretty awesome hate mail.

Oh! And you're probably wondering about my latest little conflict. I said last night that it was more than likely that I would get attacked today. As my predictions often are, I was quite right.

This time, it happened when I was on my walk. It was raining lightly, each water droplet crashing into myself and my surroundings seemingly soundlessly, for my heapdhones were quite loudly blasting 'Sucks To Be You'. I had just walked through Rockmosa, where Rockwood has a few tennis courts, a place of meeting, a library, and a few sports fields. I walked through quickly, not really bothering to look around. A group of older people were ahead of me and to my left. It didn't matter. I walked by without a word, leaving them standing in the rain.

I walked past the library swiftly, and turned right. A car passed by on my left. I ignored it, concentrating on my destination, which was nowhere. I walked straight ahead, crossing a street and heading towards a group of houses. An old friend of mine lived around here, but I never saw him anymore. The rain continued to pour down around me. Puddles were forming all around me. I walked through one and started to walk down a hill, watching as the water flowed down in thin streams.

I stopped after a moment and raised an eyebrow. The ground had not changed at all, it was still a very downward slant, but the water had ceased to flow downwards. I took a step backwards, and the puddle stayed where it was. More water from all around began to seep into the puddle. The rain itself seemed to fuel it. The puddle began to rise slowly and assume a more material shape.

A water elemental. Great. I fucking hate elementals. And, of course, it would have to attack me while it was raining, increasing it's own power exponentially. I sighed and summoned the sword I obtained from fighting the ninja. It would not be the most effective weapon, but it would do. I watched as the water elemental grew. It soon towered above me, and stood about two heads above me. I held my sword with both hands and prepared for it's attack.

I didn't have to wait long.

It lunged towards me, both watery arms outstretched to try to grab me. I swung my sword at it's arms as it attacked, but the force of the water coming towards me pushed the blade away. It wrapped both hands around my head, and I was submerged in it. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see. I've never been good at keeping my eyes open underwater. My mouth opened accidentally and water poured in. I quickly swung my sword in a circular motion, slicing through the elemental's hands. Once the watery hands were no longer in contact with the rest of the body, though it was only for a split-second, the magic faded, and the water became nothing more than just water. In a moment, my head was free and I pulled back, coughing. The water hit the ground and quickly reformed with the rest of the beast.

The elemental glared down at me with an eyeless face, and held it's arms out for the hands to reform. They did, and quickly. I sighed. This was not working. I needed a new tactic. I thought back to video games. What was the generic water creature weak against? Lightning. Fire might have worked otherwise, to evaporate it, but it was too cold and wet for fire to be effective.

I jumped backward and began to work up a lightning spell. It lunged at me again, and I was forced to abandon my efforts with the spell. I swore loudly and leapt to the side, and tried again. And once more, the monster lunged at me. This was not working. If I couldn't strike the creature down with a lightning bolt, I'd need another similar spell.

Then it came to me. I held my sword again, and spoke a few words of magic. Sparks crackled around the blade. Since it was going around an already existing, and conductive surface, it was far easier than conjuring a bolt of lightning out of thin air.

With my newly powered blade, I took my turn to lunge at the beast, stabbing my sword into it. Once the lightning-covered sword made contact with it, it immediately writhed in pain. It continued writhing for a few brief moments, then all of the water that formed it hit the ground and lost form, becoming no more than water again.

I slumped to the ground, resting with my weight on the sword. I fucking hate elementals.

Then I got up again and continued on my walk. I checked my watch. It was eight o'clock. Time to head home.

...

Yeah. I liked that fight.

Anyways, it's grown rather late now, and I'm being bitched at to go to bed...So I'm afraid that I won't be able to dispense any advice until tomorrow :( But no worries, I shall most assuredly do it tomorrow.

Until next time,
A tiny ball of green flame flickered above the open palm of his hand. The creature was mesmerized by the flame.
~Kataron

Tsunami

Greetings, oh readers of the blog.

Yeah...The post's a little late tonight, so I'm not sure how much time I'll have for ranting and rambling and carrying on.

I was just on the phone with Esmee for over an hour, since I haven't had the opportunity to see her all weekend. Yeah. We talked about all sorts of things.

All in all, our strangest topic was talking about having the job of peeling dead children from the side of the road. Weird, huh?

Yeah...So my day was of the average variety. I woke up, early today. For a weekend. Ten thirty or so, as opposed to noon. Yeah. Played video games for a while.

Beat the generic spider boss of Champions of Norrath. Every single video game EVER has a giant spider boss. It's true. I mean, in some games, you have to unlock it, or find it, and it's big and secret. But every single video game EVER has one. Including Pong. Oh yes. There was a giant spider boss in Pong.

And sports games. And First Person Shooters. And Strategy games. THERE IS A GIANT SPIDER BOSS IN EVERY GODDAMN ONE OF THEM!

It's true.

Ahem.

Then I went over to Rick's and took over his computer for a few hours. Made a new character, a Mastermind that summons ninjas. He's fucking awesome. I named him Nate. He summons a ninja. Named Nate. I love him so.

MY NINJA IS THE BEST THING EVER. I mean, fuck. You can send him to attack enemies, right? So, I targetted an enemy on a roof. And I said to my ninja, I said "ATTACK!" and he did. He ran towards the building, and he jumped on something. He then jumped onto the wall, rebounded off of it, and landed on a pipe that was sticking out of the building. A freaking PIPE. And continued to climb up to fight the enemy. Fuck, man. THAT IS AI! RIGHT THERE! That was fucking amazing. Until I'd spoken to Esmee on the phone, that single experience was the freakin' highlight of my day. As sad as that sounds. Yeah. Freaking brilliant ninja. Truly worthy of the name Nate.

Then I came home, bathed, dinner, more video games. Then I went for a walk.

I love going for a walk in Rockwood at night. It's so peaceful. I love wandering around, listening to my music. I have a route that I walk every time. First, I walk to the school. Then Rockmosa. Then I wander around a few streets, pass by my old Aunt and Uncle's house, before they moved to Florida. Then I walk down in the general direction of Mitch's house, because I like that area. I turn around after a certain time and just walk back. It's fun.

Yeah.

I am very tired. I'm just gonna go to bed now. Sorry if the post is short, I'll try to make up for it tomorrow. I expect the forces of evil to try to get me at some point tomorrow, so expect another fight.

I love you readers, each and every one of you. Feel free to comment on anything and everything.

And if anybody needs advice on -anything-, I love dispensing it :D

Until next time,
One day I'm gonna get a gun, grab a hobo, bring him out into a forest, and hunt him. Just for the hell of it. And make me a nice Hobo-Hide coat.
~Kataron

Sucks To Be You

I know, I know.

Sucks to be you.

I know, it's true.

Back again, just published the new Kataron chapter. I just figured that I should do another one. It had been so long. And the story was just getting interesting.

Of course, I haven't planned this story at all. The only storyline for Kataron that I have planned at all will be another completely different adventure in which Kataron tries to visit all of the different types of Elves. The High Elves, The Wood Elves, The Snow Elves, The Sea Elves, The Dark Elves, The Nomad Elves, and...I think that's it. Yeah, so I'm going to have him visit all of the different Elves. It'll be fun.

I still remember Jared's reaction to Kataron being part Elven.

I fucking hate Elves. To me, they're all pointy-eared bastards. They're so goddamn full of themselves. They think that because they have longer lifespans, they have more experience than us, they know more than us, they're always right. I hate those pointy-eared pricks.

I also hate Dwarves. Because they're short, hairy, and always drunk. Admittedly, they can be entertaining. But they still irritate the fuck out of me.

Yeah. I'm such a fantasy racist.

But oh well. What are they gonna do about it?

I should never be put in positions of power. I power-trip something fierce.

You know, weekends are really nothing special for me. I mean, what good are they? I don't go to school. So what? That might make a difference to you, since most of you probably work at school. I do fuck all at school. Jack shit. I have three classes, I only work in one, and I'm planning on dropping one of them. I do fuck all.

The point in weekends is to have a break from working, right? Yeah, I'm taking a break from nothing. I'd actually prefer to be at school, because then I get to see my friends every day. Instead, I'm confined to Rockwood unless I plan something out in advance, and I'm not good with planning things. So I sit around, I play video games, and I do even less than I'd do at school. Except at school, I'd be with people. I'd be with my new lady-friend, Esmee. I'd be with my bestest buddy that I don't get to see enough, Jared. I'd be with everybody else who would take far too long to name and I'm really fucking lazy.

I miss people.

And sometimes, I wonder about the future.

What shall become of our world?

Well, it's clearly fucked.

So I'd say there's about three possibilities for the future.

Possibility One:

Zombies. Some country will develop some disease that brings the dead back, with ravenous appetites. They'll eat anyone they find, and convert more to their undead cause. The Zombie Disease will sweep over the world like a plague, and nobody will be spared. Humanity will exist only in small, hidden settlements. And it'll be only a matter of time until they too, are gone.

Possibility Two:

The sun explodes. We always knew it was gonna happen. But we didn't think it'd happen for a while. But little did we know that the sun was artificial, and within it dwelled a giant brain that watched over us and studied us. It decided that humanity was too fucked up, and that we should all die horrible fiery burning deaths. So it initiated a self-destruct sequence and blew the sun up, killing ALL OF US. Meh, big loss.

Possibility Three:

The world is ruled over by an iron-fisted dictator known as Kataron. Having an extremely distorted view of reality, he views himself as superior to all. And you know what? With the state of the world these days, he's not that far off. He kills anybody who opposes him and rules in a Big Brother fashion keeping tabs on everyone with hidden cameras and spies. Except he doesn't go through any effort to hide the fact that he's brutally torturing and killing the people that oppose his rule. In fact, he televises it and adds goofy sound effects.

Not crazy at all.

The way I figure it, those are the only possibilities for the future. Personally, I'm banking on number three.

And note that if I do in fact become Supreme Overlord of the Earth, readers of my blog shall be rewarded greatly. They shall be given advisory positions and possibly their own countries to rule, but they'd still answer to me. Oh, and gift baskets of assorted goodies. Neat!

What's this planning in my head?

A movie marathon of incredible magnitude?

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, Lost in Translation, Garden State, I <3 Huckabees, Donnie Darko, Waking Life, Pi, Requiem for a Dream.

How's THAT for a movie marathon? huh? HUH?! YEAH!

Oh man I'm excited. All righty, so Seth has copies of Eternal Sunshine and Lost in Translation. I was already planning on punking them. That's two of the eight. Jared has the last three on his computer, but we're going to try to find better quality copies. That's five. Jared knows a guy with Donnie Darko. That's six. Garden State and Huckabees, I can acquire at my local video store. That's eight.

If anybody else has movie suggestions that follow this general theme of 'movies that make ya think', suggestions are always welcome.

For this shall BE the GREATEST MOVIE MARATHON IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!

And so it was written.

I just need to figure out WHERE to have this movie marathon, WHEN to have this movie marathon, and who to GRACE with an invitation. Don't ask to be invited or you probably won't be. It can't be huge, can't have too many people. It must be perfect in every way.

Oh man...I'm so excited already.

And just imagine what a marathon like that would be like if you were high. Now THAT would be an interesting experience. Not that this won't be. 'specially since I've only seen three of the eight movies.

Wheeeeeeeeee.

I tire.

Nate sleep now.

Until next time,
I swear to God, the moon was there a few minutes ago. WHAT, YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?! FUCK YOU!
~Kataron

Kataron - Chapter Four

Yes, yes, the long-awaited chapter four. I'm guessing that a lot of you weren't even around here when I wrote the other chapters, as that was back in August.

Anyways, on with the post.

--------------------------------

Kataron woke from his sleep and peered around the room before sitting up. Everything looked as it had before he fell asleep. He hoped that meant Edward had not elected to return. He reached towards his robes and dug out the bag of coins he had received the previous night. The bag weighed the same as it has.

He was very distrustful of Edward. He had known him for a number of years. Old friends. They had first met in a tavern like this one. In fact, it might have been this one. Kataron was never good at remembering which tavern was the beginning of which adventure. They all started in taverns, so they all blended together after a while. They quickly struck up a friendship over a few drinks, and Edward told him a tale of vast riches and magical artifacts hidden away in a place that only he knew how to get to. The next day, they set out in search of it, each nursing a hangover. Conversation was easy back then. Kataron had been younger, and less distrustful of people in general.

Edward had looked a lot younger back then. He had been in his early twenties at the time. He now must be thirty or so. Kataron's appearance had not changed drastically. The Elven blood in him saw to that.

The adventure turned out to be a disappointment, only a small amount of treasure, and a few magical trinkets of no real value, but it was the start of a friendship between two adventurers. Edward hadn't been as bad back then. He hadn't been a cold-blooded murderer. Or if he was, he hid it well.

They began to fall apart a few years after their initial adventure. Edward seemed willing to do more and more unpleasant things in order to get more money, including the cold-blooded slaughter of innocent people. They stopped speaking after Kataron watched him slit a woman's throat as she tried to stop Edward from stealing a map. Edward had approached him a few years later, claiming to have changed his ways. Begging Kataron to go with him one one last adventure. For old time's sake. Kataron begrudingly accepted the proposition, and embarked on the adventure, with Edward and a few others whom Kataron did not know as well.

Once they had found the treasure, Edward waited patiently until nightfall. Then he slaughtered them all and left with the treasure. Kataron awoke next to three dead bodies the next day, with all of the treasure, and Edward, were long gone.

Since then, Kataron had not seen Edward. Until last night.

He crawled out of bed and put on his robe, looking around the room for any sign of change. There was none. The door remained closed. He knew that nobody had tried to open it. An explosive rune saw to that. He removed the rune and opened the door, walking slowly down to the bar. It was already afternoon. Kataron had overslept, but it did not matter. His contact had been delayed, he would have had nothing else to do but sit around and wait for him. Though, he now had a bag full of coins, so he would at least be entertained whilst he waited. He reached into his robe and felt the bag of coins again, trying to judge just how many were in there. It was enough.

He took the same seat he had been in the night prior, and again began to wait for his contact. He ordered some ale and a small meal.

If his contact was only delayed by one day, he should be here soon.

He'd better be here soon.

Strange Disease

Hey hey.

Ordinary weekend day today. Crawled out of bed sometime around noon, bit of tv, rented a game for my brother. Well, we already owned the game that I was renting. GTA: San Andreas. But the disc is scratched, see? It crashes at a certain point in a mission that my brother's on. So I had to rent the game for him. He tried, but he's too young. So I did, and then went over to Rick's to play City of Villains.

It's awesometastic, dammit. Today I made a Stalker character. I figured if there's any class that was quite literally designed for me, it'd be stalker. Uhh...No reasoning behind that. None at all. Nothing to see here.

Ahem.

So anyways, I'm a stalker with claws. Pretty damn cool. I can be hidden and sneak up on enemies, and get critical hits with my stealth attacks, 'cause I rule.

Then I went home, played video games, ate food, more video games, and then I went for a walk. Then I came home, and bam. Here we are.

I had a strange train of thought as I was on my way to bed last night, at around two in the morning, after having watched the first half-hour of Garden State.

It went something like as follows.

When the music stops, take your seat. Turn to the person on your left. That's your new best friend. Turn to the person on your right. That's your new romantic interest. Turn around, and face the person behind you. That's your new rival. Repeat the process at the start of each year.

...Yeah. It was basically that, running through my head as I stumbled up the stairs to my bedroom. It seemed to make more sense then.

I'ma do a new Kataron post.

To see the old Kat posts, go...

Here.

Here.

And here.

Yeah. But as I want the Kat posts to be their own posts, that means that this one is over.

I'll probably do another one when I'm done with Kat.

Until next time,
Tell me your secrets.
~Kataron

A Crimson Rose And A Gin Tonic

Evenin'.

My day went as follows:

Morning, hanging out. Esmee misplaced her notebook the day prior, and was quite worried and in search of it. I can understand this. I'd absolutely freak out if my notebook turned up missing, because I have said some very, very bad things in there. Nobody has ever read my rants in there, and nobody ever should. Asking to read the notebook will result in a rather painful death for you. So don't bother.

Then first period, which was spent doing anything but math. I just...Yeah. I went for a washroom break and ended up wandering around the school for a few minutes. I don't usually do that when I go to the washroom. But I figured 'meh' and went ahead with it. Yeah.

Then Food and Nutrition. 'cept I didn't go. I convinced Esmee to skip with me, after retrieving her notebook from her third period teacher, as the morning search turned up empty-handed. A quick stop at the class resulted in the notebook being found, and then she and I proceeded to wander across the street to acquire caffeine, then we hung out under the stairs. Good times.

Then lunch. This is kinda a blur to me. I assume that not much happened.

Then...Writer's Craft. Ms. St. Jean wasn't there, and we didn't really accomplish much. We copied down a few definitions, we declared our next portfolio assignment, and then we wrote ten words on ten different tiny pieces of paper, put the words into a bag, got into groups of five, and each group drew fifty words from the bag. We then had to make a poem using at least forty of the words, and at least four of seven devices that were written on the board.

All in all, I think it was a really stupid assignment. We had to use at least forty words, it had to be fourteen lines, and we could add any words we like. And it's not just one person's creative genius, it's an entire group, which I don't like. I like working on my own, I feel like if I'm working with other people, it inhibits my creativity. Unless I'm working with Jared. But we're essentially the same person, so meh.

Then somebody pulled the fire alarm, so we had to go outside. It turned out to be the most akward fire drill thingy ever. I may or may not go into my reasoning behind this later in the post.

Then last period, which I spent listening to music and hanging out with Rick. I was classy as hell. I drowned my memories of akwardness with lots and lots of caffeine. And I was listening to freakin' Mozart on speakers, while wearing dress shoes, a dress shirt, and a freakin' sweater vest. Classy. As. Hell.

Then waiting for bus. I always enjoy this. It's the culmination of the school day. I get to stand around with most of my friends and wait for my bus. No more classes, nothing else to worry about, just thoughts of what we're gonna do that night. I love it.

Bus ride. Boring.

Home. Didn't stay long.

Rick's house, City of Villains Beta! WHEEEEE!!! I made a Mastermind villain. ^_^ He summons NINJAS! Well, he's a low level, so only one ninja now. I named my ninja Darun. That's Seth's RP name for his old Dwarf.

I miss Seth so much. It's been a freakin' month since I last saw him. Gah! I miss him so! We were thinkin' about doing something this weekend, but he's in London, and I'm at Rick's playing the CoV beta...Sniff. Next weekend, I hope! I love that kid.

Anyways, yeah. My Mastermind has medium hair, greyish, tinted glasses, red dress shirt, black tie, red pants, and a freakin' white lab coat. I'm so cool. He's AWESOME. AWESOME! And so is my ninja, Darun. That's my primary power pool, NINJA SUMMONING! My secondary is poison. My current poison is an interesting healing movie. I don't really get it, but meh. I can heal Darun. <3

Then youth group.

Youth group was...Meh. At the beginning, Dave and I went to the new SWEET SHOP in Rockwood. WE HAVE A SWEET SHOP. That specializes in homemade fudge! And it's goooooood fudge. It also has candy I haven't seen in freakin' years. Big League Chew. Remember that? I DO! Yeah. I love candy.

Then we went back to the youth group, and begun the hour and a half set-up of War of the Ring, an LotR-based strategy board game. Not to be confused with LotR Risk, as I'm 93% certain that they're entirely different things. This took a while. So Emily and I (for some reason, Dave's sister showed up at youth group. *shrug*) went on a pizza run. We went to the Sweet Shop first. Then pizza place. But they had no slices, so it'd be about ten minutes. Back to the sweet shop. Then back to the youth group. Then pizza place again. It was ready by this time. Then back to the youth group.

They were still setting up the game, so I tried to learn what to do. Didn't really work.

Then when we finally had it all set up and started, playing, Peter showed up and took Andrew away to talk to him about some new drama that we're supposed to be doing. That fucking pissed me off. We were busy playing a game that we had spent the last hour and a half setting up, and then he just comes in and takes away the only one of us that's read the fucking rules. GAH! That fucking pissed me RIGHT off. He said he'd take Andrew away for 'a minute' and then he spent the next hour and probably more blathering on with him about a stupid new drama. BAH! If you're going to come in and take up an hour of the youth group leader's time, A) A little advance notice would be nice, and B) Maybe it shouldn't be an hour of the three-four hours a week he's supposed to be supervising the youth group. You think?

And joy, another drama. Last time, the thing took up every moment of our free time at the youth group for freakin' months. And now we're doing another one. NOT the one that we've already done, the one that we already know, have the music for, have the planning for, have the props for, have the costumes for. Certainly not the one that we only actually performed ONCE! No, that'd be too easy.

BAH!

It all just irritates me.

So, do you want to know why today's fire drill thingy was so awkward? I'm wired enough to tell you.

I haven't really been talking about it on here because it concerns two of the readers, both Caitlin and Esmee. It seems that both of these young ladies have developed feelings for me. It was quite obvious to me, in both cases, but I wasn't sure what to do about it. To make matter worse, I had developed feelings for both girls as well. I was paralyzed, completely unsure of how to proceed. I mean, they're both great girls. Very...ah...Unique seems like an appropriate word. Yeah, that works. Anyways, the entire situation confused the hell out of me. Within the last week, both girls asked me out. So I had to make a decision, one that was not easy to make, not easy at all. I care about both girls, but I knew that there was nothing I could do. Whatever route I took, somebody would end up getting hurt. In the end, I went in the direction that my feelings seemed to indicate. I went with Esmee. I feel bad for Caitlin, because I've been in her shoes before, but there's not really much I can do. I can't control my feelings.

Thus leading up to the awkwardness of the fire drill today. There were about for of us around at the time, Esmee, Caitloin, Rebecca, and myself. While standing outside, I decided to use Esmee for an armrest, which is not an uncommon thing for me to do. While I was doing so, she took my hand. After a time, John Campbell came up and we were talking, and then he asked us if we were going out. I said something along the lines of "I don't think so.." because Caitlin was there, and I wasn't really in the mood for wanting an awkward moment. Then I turned to Esmee, and she simply said yes. Couldn't argue with that. I forget John's response, but right after that, the bell rang. We filed back inside the building.

I felt bad. I still do. I had been meaning to tell her, but that seemed a little sudden to spring on her like that. I wanted to try to tell her in a way that wouldn't hurt her (if I could find such a way), not to have it just come up in conversation. I just...Yeah.

So now I'm with Esmee.

And as if it weren't awkward before, both of them read this blog. I bet even the people that have never met me are feeling awkward now, huh?

And there you have it. I've been meaning to talk about that for a while, but I've been censoring myself because they read my blog. I shouldn't have to do that. This is my blog. I've censored myself enough on here. If people don't like what I'm saying, then I'm usually not sorry. I merely state my opinions. That's what my blog is for, is it not?

In this case, if you're Caitlin, and what I have said has hurt you, I'm sorry. I really am.

Ah geez, now I feel bad. I'm done for tonight. Hopefully my entry will have a more positive note tomorrow.

Until next time,
This entry has been brought to you by Coca-Cola. Just fuckin' drink it.
~Kataron

Shag Tag

Hey hey.

The Nate is back for more inane ramblings.

But first, MY DAY!

Before class, I hung out with Esmee. Got Coke. We went outside for a bit, through the doors in the stairwell in the math hall, and used a pop bottle to prop the door open, so it wouldn't lock, but mere seconds before the bell rang, it was pulled in from the inside. Damn.

Something something math.

Didn't really do much here.

Something something Food and Nutrition. Didn't do much here, either. In all honesty, I'm considering dropping the course. The cooking is fun and all, but meh. And I'm so behind in assignments and the like. Plus it's a U course, which means that Universities will be looking at the mark. Soooo yeah. Might drop it. We'll see.

Then lunch. Lotsa people 'round under the stairs. We've turned it into a party there, every day! With music and Coke and probably drugs. Who knows. I quite enjoy my lunches.

Then Writer's Craft, in which I assume I got wired and probably accomplished something.

Then last period, where I hung out with Jared, Mitch, and Rick and spoke about the Bill Gates thing. Esmee stopped by for a while and listened to the stories, then had to go to a field hockey game. Other people randomly showed up throughout the period, including Behrang(sp?), Dick Van Dyke, Sarah (two of them, actually) and probably some other people.

Bill Gates was at the University of Waterloo today talking about stuff. Jared got to go, Mitch got to go, and Wyatt (Dick Van Dyke) got to go. I seethe with jealousy. I don't feel like summarizing everything that happened, though. I'll wait 'til Jared posts about it on his LJ, then link there. Yeah. That's my plan.

I'm tired.

But I have two Prozac CD's, so all is well in the world.

Oh! And my notebook isn't upstairs, so I shall now proceed to grab it and type up that Bear's Head poem. As a reminder, this poem is written about the head of Esmee's homemade teddy bear, because the head fell off randomly.

The Bear's Head

The bear's head lay severed nearby.
Soft to the touch, it was surprisingly fuzzy.
A clear contrast to the hard ground on which it lay.
It was quite a sight, the bear's head.
Flowers grew nearby, their sweet scent never quite
able to reach the lone head.
A field of pavement was firmly in place between
the bear's head and the flowers.
It grew cold.
The feelings were overpowering, the feelings of the head.
The feelings of pain, of the betrayal of his own
body, which had abandoned him.
A tear streaked down the bear's face.
It had started to rain.
The raindrops were like arrows from the heavens.
A low, mellow voice cried out from the darkness,
but it's message was lost.
Out of the corner of the bear's eye, a vision
of a hand reaching forward. Reaching for it.
It picked up the head with the ease of a piece
of fruit being picked off the tree.
Goodbye pavement.
A look of surprise covered the face of his rescuer.
Words could not describe his gratitude, so he remained silent.
The fear left him as he followed the voices to
wherever they were going.
It did not matter where, so long as it wasn't here.

...

Yeah. That's what I wrote the other day in class. I had to use certain words that were evoked by the sensory thing we did on Friday. Yeah.

Randomness now.

There was an announcement by Ms. Burns today. Something about smoking. It pissed me off because she repeated herself at the end of the announcement. She always fucking does that. We heard you the first fucking time, dammit. WE JUST DON'T FUCKING CARE.

I don't like the administration at our school. They don't seem to respect us, the students. And yet they expect respect back. That pisses me off. But I've bitched about that before, so I don't wanna go into that now.

Imaginary numbers.

You know, i.

It makes me uncomfortable, and I have no real reasoning to back that up. Imaginary numbers make me uncomfortable. Not that they're difficult, I don't struggle with them, they're easy. They just make me uncomfortable.

HA! Jared has named me the person that he shall now officially go to for all advice regarding members of the opposite sex. Ohhhhhh yeah. It's 'cause I'm a ladies man, totally.

Apparently Polar Bears are left-handed. I didn't know this. I mean, how do other people even know this? How do you find out whether a freakin' Polar Bear is right or left handed? It boggles the mind.

I love being a guy. I can pee standing up. Well, technically females can do that too, but I can pee standing up without making a mess. I can aim a stream of urine. BOOYAH!

Here's a question for you. What would you do if you were as rich as Bill Gates?

Some possibilities...

Buying all of the world's pants. Then nobody would have pants. You'd have all the pants.

Buying a town, destroying it, and rebuilding it with Nerf material.

Buying the Statue of Liberty and giving her a sex change.

Or, the personal favourite of Mitch and myself, BUILD A PYRAMID!

Yeah. That's what I would do. I'd build myself a freakin' pyramid. I can't understand why Bill Gates hasn't done it. Why the fuck not? I mean, that's the ancient symbol of power or whatever, isn't it? Pharoahs had pyramids. Why the fuck not the richest man alive? Seriously, dude. A pyramid. It's the way to go.

Yeah, you know what I don't like? Angry music. It scares me. I mean, if I'm listening to your damn music, I don't want to have you yelling at me. That's just rude. And it's totally not singing.

You know what's good? Prozac. Prozac is a good band.

Why the fuck hasn't anybody made a movie about me yet? A movie about me would be awesome. AWESOME!

What opposing magic is this? My eyelids, they grow heavy! Blasphemy! It seems I require sleep. I shall return tomorrow and give you another rambling report about nothing in particular.

Until next time,
If I'm going to die, I shall choose the time and place, and I shall go out in STYLE! But I'm not going to die, so it doesn't matter.
~Kataron

Get The Cool Shoe Shine

I'm not tired tonight. Nooo, not me. I have Coke, Coke, GLORIOUS COKE!

Yeah.

So I'm wired.

:D

Anyways, I know you're all bursting with excitement over my day. BURSTING!

In the morning, I...Wait, what did I do? Ah, yes...I wandered around with people. Saw Evan. Evan Palser just got in a fight with somebody, like...yesterday. And he's pretty fucked up now, it looks like he has two black eyes. Apparently his opponent decided to use a foreign object, a metal pole or something, from what I've heard. He'll get his.

Something something...Something. We considered blowing off school altogether and going to Kitchener so Bitty could get her piercing, and we could have generic fun, but then nobody else wanted to skip. I was fine with it, but Esmee had promised her mom that she wouldn't skip anymore, so we should probably wait at least a few days.

Then math. Didn't really do anything here. I bet you're surprised at that! Yeah. I don't like work. Shrug.

I didn't feel like going to second again. I mean, what's the point? Food and Nutrition, shortened day. Could I really accomplish anything? Nah. So I hung out with James. Good times. Got food, talked about stuff, and all was well.

Came back, hung out under stairs. It didn't take long for EVERYBODY to show up, which I was slightly surprised about. Not sure entirely why, but I didn't really expect it. Oh well.

Then Writer's Craft. I read my Bear's Head poem. Where is that...FUCK! It's up in my room again. I really don't feel like grabbing it. I'll post it tomorrow, maybe. Other than that, we didn't really do much. We read other poems. Yeah.

I love alliteration.

Of all the devices used in writing, that is my favourite. I love it so.

Then last period, which I spent under the stairs while playing Tetris. <3

Then it was about one. I spent the next two and a half hours hanging out with people while waiting for the bus to come.

Does anybody else see the problem with that? FUCK YOU, BUSES. If we get out early, you should fucking come early. Why the fuck not? It's not interfering with anything. You come early on normal early dismissal days. But not parent-teacher interviews. What the fuck. It's fucking stupid. Two or three teachers asked us about it today, and we were like 'Yeah, our buses don't come until normal time' and they were like 'A-WHAAAAAAA?'. Apparently, that wasn't common knowledge.

I shall spread the word! Yeah. It's fucked.

So yeah, I was hanging out with people for quite some time. People came and left, I saw faces such as Colleen, Wyatt (<3), Elf, and probably a bunch of other people. The main people were myself (AS FREAKIN' ALWAYS! IT'S 'CAUSE I RULE!), Rick, Esmee, and Caitlin. Mostly 'cause they stuck around until bus got there. Good times were had by all.

All righty! We've got a new topic! Mushrooms.

Man, the inventors of mushrooms were pretty fucked up people. I assume they were invented. I mean, something like that can't be natural. LOOK AT THEM.

Freakin'...Mushrooms!

It's a fungus or whatever. I don't like that word. And the plural? FUNGI. That's a fucking weird word right there.

Mushrooms have been used a lot over the ages. The first thing that comes to my mind is Super Mario Bros. Mario eats the mushroom, gets big. Why is that? Why does the mushroom make him big? It's because it's a drug mushroom. Mario gets high. He's not really changing size, he's just feeling larger. And the Fire Flower? Opium. That's right. OPIUM. Mario's a druggie plumber. And that star thing? Ectasy. He feels INVINCIBLE! And therefore he is.

Do you really think he's doing all that crazy shit to rescue some princess? Fuck no. He's a plumber. He's plumbing. Fixing pipes, and plunging shit. He's just on a killer drug trip. And fuck, if you were a plumber and had to plunge shit for a living, you'd be a druggie too.

And don't even get me STARTED on some of the later Super Mario Bros, with that fucking sock thing, and the raccoon thing. For the cape in Super Mario World, I'll just say that it's not easy to come by. And it totally makes you impotent. Word to the wise.

And Yoshi? Yeah, that's the name of his pipe. It actually looks like a green dinosaur. Fucked up shit.

And that's just in Super Mario!

Look at our culture today. We hear mushrooms, and what do we think? Well, I think about Super Mario. Some people might think of the food. But most people in this day and age will think about the drug mushrooms. Shrooms, as the young'uns are prone to calling them. That's what they think.

I think that about covers it for mushrooms tonight. Take a lesson from Mario, kids. Don't do drugs. You don't want to end up plunging shit for a living. Do you?

Next topic! Caramilk.

Those fucking Caramilk bars. How the fuck do they get that shit in there? Seriously, how the fuck do they do it?

Clearly, there are only three possibilities.

The first is that they actually breed the chocolate to be like this. This is, of course, assuming that chocolate is alive, and that it can breed and all that. You cross-breed it with Caramel. And aside from a few mutant freaks that are immediately thrown to the orphans, you get the Caramilk chocolates. Chocolate on the outside, SWEET SWEET CARAMEL IN THE MIDDLE.

Of course, breeding chocolate isn't easy. The conditions have to be just right. It has to be at a reasonable temperature so the chocolate doesn't melt, and nobody can be watching. There must also be slow jazz playing in the background. Without these conditions met, the chocolate will not breed! Unless you get a piece of slutty chocolate. But then the offspring doesn't taste as good.

Yeah. That's option one.

The second option is, of course, magic.

A team of highly trained wizards standing by to magic the caramel right into the chocolate. This has to be very exact. If the spell is even slightly off, demons from another realm burst into the room and set fire to things. I saw a video tape of this once, actually. It was fucking hilarious. The wizards all just kinda ran around in pointed hats going 'ahh! Fire!' as demons lit fire to everything. And for some reason, the wizards were all rather small and cartoony-looking. It was funny as hell.

I wasn't able to find out the actual spell for this, unfortunately. I snuck in and tried to get it, but then found me and filled me with caramel. All in all, it was pretty fucking awesome, but it kinda made me pass out for a few hours while the caramel worked it's way through my system. But yeah, they're very protective of their magic spell.

Oh, and there's a dragon. For some reason. I think he eats wizards that aren't pulling their weight. Either that, or whoever's closest when the dragon gets hungry. I never asked. I was too busy giggling whenever the dragon ate somebody, because the wizards all had high-pitched little voices. Heh. Good times.

The third and final option is ninjas.

Because let's face it. Is there anything a highly trained ninja CAN'T do? No. No there isn't. They're so quick, they can get the caramel into the chocolate without creating any holes, and without the chocolate even noticing.

I mean, even as the chocolate's being packaged, it's thinking "They missed me. Heh. Suckers. I don't have any caramel in me! I beat the system!". Little do they know that they're carrying a bellyful of sweet sweet caramel. They don't even realize until they're bitten into, and the caramel is visible. Then they think "FUCK!" and die.

A ninja could so do that.

A ninja has already stolen my heart. <3

No, literally. I'm offering a fifty-gold reward for the safe return of it.

Nate sleep now. For sleep is where they cannot find me.

Until next time,
I'm not a tool. You're a tool. You're a tool BOX.
~Kataron

Trance - MegaMan Theme

I am so fucking tired right now it's not even funny.

But oh well, I need to get the blog post done. And then probably reply to an email Bitty sent me, 'cause it's rude not to reply to email. Yes.

Anyways, my day was pretty swell.

Before first, Kate was at Ross, so I got to see her. I hadn't seen her since her party way back when, and yeah. Off with her university education getting and whatnot. So yeah. Hung out with her and others, and went to get Coke, as always. Still on sale. w00t. Ended up in the bottom hall with Esmee, Bitty, and Caitlin. I was handed a fuzzy hat, which I wore for the rest of the day. Damn fine hat. Damn fine.

Something something math class. Didn't do anything. As per my usual routine.

I always go to that bathroom during this period, usually around ten or so. I walk down to the end of the hall, passing by the classroom where Bitty and Esmee are, go up two flights of stairs, walk back, then walk down the computer hall to the washroom there. I like that washroom.

Then during second, I bumped into Bitty and Esmee, neither of which felt like attending their second period class. Being the gentleman that I am, I couldn't leave these ladies unaccompanied, so I clearly had to skip my class. Which I did. I had an appointment with the VP at 10:40, though, so we had to stick around the school for a bit.

I haven't handed in my Student Fee, you see. I just haven't really seen the point. And I don't appreciate getting bitched at and being threatened to be forced to do volunteer hours or some shit like that for the school, thank you very fucking much. I'll pay the fucking student fee if and when I want to, so fuck off. What the fuck does it matter, anyway? It's thirty-five fucking dollars. Do I need a student card? Do I really? Well, I probably will next semester for Engineering, but meh. Not this semester, I'm fine and dandy without one.

Bah, that new VP rubs me the wrong way, I'm not sure why. Well, I guess I kind of see why. Look back to my last rant on teachers and respect for more details, I don't feel like going over it all again.

I don't care about the student fees, I don't care about student cards, I just don't care. But I don't appreciate being treated like some random trouble-maker because I haven't seen the need to pay a stupid fucking fee. I don't like being called down to the office and spoken down to, as if it's something that's actually important that I should have done right away. Fuck that shit.

They can all kiss my ass.

Anyways.

After that, we went to a park across the way and hung out there and just spoke about stuff for a while. Which was cool.

Then we came back for lunch, hung out under the stairs, as per usual. I don't really recall anything of particular note happening at lunch. Shrug.

Then Writer's Craft. Always a pleasure. We wrote poems based on the words we wrote down when we were focusing on certain senses, way back on Friday. I decided to write a poem about the head of Esmee's teddy bear. The head actually fell off on the way to the park during second, you see, so I wrote an entire poem about that because I was bored. Jared liked it. I'll probably put it up here tomorrow, when I'm not so fucking tired and bitchy and ranty. 'kay?

I'll also be posting every goddamn one of those excuses I wrote for being absent from class. I just got the assignment back, so we'll when I find the time to bother.

Then during last period, Esmee didn't seem to want to bother with that either, so we hung out under the stairs with Rick, Jon(or is it John?) and Mitch. Ah, Mitch. Love that kid. So entertaining. Rick was telling us about a series of books, but as always, my mind was elsewhere. From what I paid attention to, it sounded interesting.

Then waiting for bus.

Then being on bus.

Then Star Ocean.

Then dinner.

Then tv.

Then House X 2. <3

I do so love that show. House, you cynical bastard. Marry me.

Anyways, yeah. That's been my day thus far. I've also been chatting a bit on MSN, but barely. I'm too tired to start conversations, or even keep up my end of them, and I'm crashing on all sorts of caffeine. So yeah. Now, where'd I put my goddamn notebook? I had things to bitch about.

Ah, fuck. It's upstairs.

Let's see if I can remember.

So, Mr. Coffey came on the announcements today and spoke to us about blah blah blah somebody was diagnosed with Tuberculosis or however the fuck you spell it. I didn't really care. It seemed to be a big deal, but meh. I don't really give a fuck if somebody in the school has some disease. I mean, how does this affect me? I only get close enough to a select few in order for diseases as such to be transferred, even through coughing. I don't like letting people get physically close to me, for the most part. So I'm not going to get this disease. All you're doing is giving the drama queens of the school cause for panic. Thanks, I got to hear a whole bitching about that on my bus from the resident drama queen. Thanks a fucking pantload.

You're already testing all of the kids that had such contact with this person, so why the fuck do the rest of us need to know? There was a newsletter or something, but I neither cared nor received one. It was supposedly handed out during last period, but spare, so meh.

Mr. Coffey just bugs me. I'm not even sure why. He just irritates the fuck out of me.

Let's take last year, for instance. He came into my first period calculus class talking about the common lunch shit. We were concerned, we asked questions, and I don't think he once gave us a straight answer. That just fucking irritates me.

But then, I disliked him before that. Again, I don't think there's much real reasoning behind that. It might have been common lunch in general.

Though I suppose it allows me to hang out with my grade 10 friends. Meh. I still dislike the idea in general.

Yeah.

You know what freaks me out? Teachers that are like...too enthusiastic about their class. Math is not a thing to be celebrated, it is not something to become giddy over. You clearly have some emotional issues, and I suggest you seek help. Or send me five easy payments of $28.35, and all of your problems will be solved! Yay!

..

Well, that's interesting.

It seems that Microsoft and Yahoo! have forged some sort of alliance. Their messenger programs are now apparently going to work with each other, so that somebody running YIM can can to somebody running MSN.

And here you've got me wonder, how does this change the EULA? Does this mean that Microsoft will now be able to monitor even more conversations! THE ANSWER IS YES!

That is some fucked up shit. Now some Microsoft corporate lackey will be able to watch your conversations even when you're on YIM. Damn.

Just download Trillian or whatever the fuck the other one is that I've been told to download. Combines all the messengers into one handy program, making it easy to run. Though I only ever run MSN anyway. Fuck YIM. It's a fucking horrible messenger. And AIM is even worse. Those emoticons are fucking hideous.

And now we're going to end off with something a little more philosophical that's been on my mind tonight.

The topic is fate in general. Are we bound by fate? Are we just following some script we don't know exists? Is free will just an illusion?

Maybe, maybe not.

More tomorrow when I'm not so fucking tired.

Until next time,
...You made me go back all that way for a fucking GLOWING FUCKING STONE?! Oh, I hate you so fucking much. *uses disintigration ring on stupid rabbit-man* EAT IT!
~Kataron

Paranoia

God I hate Thanksgiving.

What, you think hate is too strong a word? Oh, it's hate. It's HATE.

It's so pointless.

Right, so my day went meh. Woke up, played video games, watched my brother play video games, took part in some sort of experiment, watched Fight Club again, then dinner, then bathing, then this.

I hate it when my entire day can be summed up into something that small.

Anyways, I probably have things to bitch about.

..But what are they? WHAT ARE THEY?!?!?!

Fuck you, Arnie.

'Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed legislation on Friday to outlaw the sale to teenagers of electronic games featuring reckless mayhem and explicit sexuality.'
-EvilAvatar.com

And THEIR quote was:

'The bill bans the sale or rental to those under 18 of any video games that "depict serious injury to human beings in a manner that is especially heinous, atrocious or cruel." Violations carry a fine of up to $1,000.'

Damn you, Schwaretc.

You can kiss my shiny metal ass. YOU LEAVE MY FUCKING VIDEO GAMES ALONE! Not that it affects me, as A) It's in the States, and B) I AM 18, but still. The point remains. You do NOT fuck with video games.

I don't know what I would have done as a youth without my violent video games. I probably would have had to mutilate small animals and/or children.

Sooooooo, there was an Earthquake somewhere or something. I dunno, I never really paid attention.

I'm getting so tired of all these goddamn natural disasters. Frankly, I don't care. Until it directly affects me, I don't fucking care. So you can all kiss my ass. I mean, really. What do you want? What's the point in me knowing about this natural disaster? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT -ME- TO DO ABOUT IT? Just shut the fuck up about it, all right? I don't wanna hear about tsunami's, I don't wanna hear about earthquakes, I don't wanna hear about whatever the fuck is affecting you. Leave me alone! And stay out of our news. Why is it our business? Why are you saying this like I should care, like I should feel sympathy towards them? IT DOESN'T AFFECT ME.

I mean, yeah. It's a fucking tradegy. It's horrible, so many people dead.

I just don't care. Okay?

So don't talk to me about it.

Just piss off.

Yep. That's something that was on my mind.

Sooooo, City of Villians will be out soon. There's an open Beta this weekend, allowing all sorts of strapping young villains to take to the streets and cause mayhem. Mayhem = FUN!

Which brings me to something completely unrelated. I liked the idea for my Writer's Craft project where I dressed up as a different character each day and adopted that persona for a day. But I need to know which characters to do, and how to acquire cool costumes for them.

I'm thinking...

Link.
Magus.
Some sort of zombie.
Perhaps Kataron.
Darth Vader?
Spock.
A hippy of some sort.
Maybe Jesus.
THE MOON.
Maybe the Prince from Katamari Damacy, if'n I can obtain a costume.

Some of those.

Any suggestions?

I'ma go stare at stuff now.

Until next time,
Thought of the day: How the fuck did this hole my in the crotch of my pants get BIGGER?
~Kataron

Prefabricated Ideals

Again, not a song name. Just a few words that popped into my head today. Whilst I was expelling urine from my sack of pee, if I do correctly recall.

My day has been pretty okay. I didn't bother crawling out of bed until about noon thirty. Why bother?

When I got up, I cleaned up for about an hour and a half, then everything was good by around two. I decided at this point that I was hungry, so I started cooking up some perogies. Then I decided 'I like perogies' and cooked up more, ending up with the rest of the bag cooked, a grand total of twenty of the little fuckers. I loves them so. Then my parents arrived home, I helped them unpack, then I played video games until dinner, then I ate dinner, then I played more video games followed by watching the Family Guy movie again, this time with my brother.

And that brought us to about here. That's been my day. Much less interesting than yesterday. I do so miss the ladies.

It feels like the weekend is already over, and it's felt like that since last night. Because I know I'm not going to do anything else particularly entertaning between now and when I get back to school. Should the opportunity present itself, I shall take full advantage of it, but I just don't see that happening. So the weekend might as well be over. I would rather just go back to school. At least there, I can see and hang out with people. It feels like all this time is just being wasted, because I'm not going to do anything of note, nothing that will make any difference.

But enough of that.

Tonight, I'm going to give you all a lesson in the fine art of subtlety. You shall ignore the fact that I looked up the correct spelling on Dictionary.com. So basically, I'm going to tell you all how to be subtle.

To start off, a proper definition.

sub·tle ( P ) Pronunciation Key (stl)
adj. sub·tler, sub·tlest

1. 1. So slight as to be difficult to detect or describe; elusive: a subtle smile.
   2. Difficult to understand; abstruse: an argument whose subtle point was lost on her opponent.
2. Able to make fine distinctions: a subtle mind.
3. 1. Characterized by skill or ingenuity; clever.
   2. Crafty or sly; devious.
   3. Operating in a hidden, usually injurious way; insidious: a subtle poison.

Being subtle is good. Of course, it's often hard to pick up on. Unless you're smart like I'm smart. Being subtle isn't particularly hard. You just have to make sure you're neither too subtle, or not subtle enough. The right level of it can be difficult to find.

To be subtle, just hint at things. Through actions, through words, through any means you can think of. You don't come out and say it. Well, you could. But that's not subtle at all. I prefer being subtle to being straightforward, because...Well, I'm just not good at being staightforward, not good at all. Mind you, being straightforward can be a good thing, but being subtle, that's even more fun! Unless of course you have certain time constraints that restrict being subtle, and you just have to come out and be straightforward.

But I regress.

You have to make sure you have just the right amount of subtlety. To gauge what amount, you must first know your subject. Know their level of intelligence, their level of attention. Know how to get their attention.

The first step is to bait the hook. You must get the person's attention, and hint at whatever it is that you want to be subtle about. This can be difficult, because you usually want the subtlety to be just between yourself and the person, and there are quite often groups around. Groups are where the art of subtlety is important. If you can be subtle in front of a group, and only the other person gets it, you fucking win. But it's difficult for only them to notice.

It can be easier, though. If the person is perceptive.

Oh rats. I'm boring of this subject. I forget how much I've said about it, if I haven't said enough, I'll do it later.

What other topics do I have...?

I need to get more people on my MSN. I don't have enough people. I used to have a lot, then I deleted three quarters of them. Now I have...Thirty-Nine people. And I only talk to less than half of them. But there are some people that I just can't bear to delete.

Like David Magnus. <3. He's so goddamn cool. I haven't seen him in forever and ever.

Time for a Writer's Craft Dump. I found my notebook, so I figure I'll transfer some things from on there to here.

The first is a Bio Poem that I had to do for myself. The first line is the first name, the second line is four words that describe me, and the beginnings of all of the lines after are evident. We were given this template and told to write a poem, so I did.

Bio Poem #1

Nate
Bitter, Hateful, Angry, Depresed
Sibling of Katablog
Lover of Coke, Ranting, Hate
Who feels like he doesn't matter, Hatefullness, Depression
Who needs somebody to care, an outlet, a mask
Who gives pain, laughs, more pain
Who feels to be alone, to fail, to not matter.
Who would like to see the truth, the lies, the difference
Resident of his own mind
Morse

Woo. Man I was depressed. For so long. Better now, it seems. I'm even slightly surprised, going back and reading that again. Though I shouldn't be. A lot of the poem still applies, but I'm not so depressed anymore. I haven't even thought about suicide in a good week now. Yay.

ooo, here's my five twenty-nine word poems. I liked writing them 'cause it wasn't really poetry for me, it was just a paragraph with a certain amount of words. I only named one, so yeah. It's the second one. Rubber Thoughts.

Ahem.

First period is the best time to go to the bathroom.
People usually don't have to use them that early.
And you can finally have some peace and quiet.

My thoughts bounce around in my head like
Rubber mice on the prowl for plastic cheese.
I prefer cheese of the non-plastic variety.
Less of an after-taste.

I look damn good in a dress.
One with a nice flowery print.
And it I put my hair up...Look out.
I think about this far too often.

I don't like math as much as I probably should,
If I'm going into programming.
But really, I've learned all this before.
I'm just here for conics.

The twenty-nine word poem format is odd.
No needed pattern, no needed rhyme.
Just a set number of words that need to be used.
Personally, I like it.

Yeah.

Damn, I took a bunch of stuff out to put into my folder or whatever to hand in.

I really want to play Dance Dance Revolution. Preferably the arcade version, at the Galaxy. They have Butterfly there, right? ...Yeah, yeah they do. And Speed Over Beethoven. And Cartoon Heroes. I should go see a movie. 'cept...I lack funds, a ride, and somebody to go with. And a movie to see. Wow, that sounds like effort and planning. I give up.

I have far too much DDR music on my computer....

Thanksgiving is dumb.

Does anybody give a fuck what the holiday is about anymore? Does anybody give a fuck what most holidays are about? Not really. It's just another excuse to eat fucking turkey and not go to school or work or whatever it is that's at least semi-productive that you would have otherwise been doing.

It used to seem to matter more, when I was a kid. There'd be Thanksgiving specials about pioneers and Indians and all that other shit, but now none of it seems to matter. Nobody gives a damn anymore, dammit. Now it's just...Okay, it's that holiday where we eat turkey and don't go to work. Huzzah. Fuck that shit. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

NOTHING! IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING ANYMORE!

God DAMN that irritates me.

I don't even like turkey. I really don't. It's okay, I guess. But all in all, I much prefer chicken. This is just another holiday where my crazy deaf uncle comes over and annoys me. And then we eat turkey. Fucking great.

I. Don't. Care.

I would much rather sit in my room alone and eat cold pizza, while watching some crappy television show.

I'm going to go bitch on my hidden blog now, because I meant to do that yesterday but didn't.

Until next time,
Thought of the day: Die, you furry bastard!
~Kataron

Forbidden Paradise

Hey hey again sportsfans.

I figured I'd come back and enlighten you all as to what was going on in my mind tonight. And there's a lot of things, many of which I won't talk about tonight because it concerns a few of you, my loyal readers. But I'll say that much, to raise dramatic tension! Am I talking about you? Maybe!

Ah, can you feel the drama building?

I sure can!

I would hate to have 'Jr.' as part of my name. Like, really. How embarassing is that? You can live it down if it's a nickname, but not if it's an actual part of your name. I mean, you can't live that down. It's your fucking name. And it's like...Well, if you're named after your dad, like...Jesus Jr. or whatever the fuck the person's name is (first name that popped into my head, shut up.), then what? Then you're always just...Junior. Then it's almost as if you're being forced to live up to your father, whoever the Senior is. Bah. Irritating. I'm glad I'm not Tim Jr.

And you know what?

I hate being me. I really do. I hate my mind. The most simple thoughts, when let loose in my mind, become unending strings of unanswerable questions, mass confusion, and other such unpleasant occurances. And that happens with every single thing. My mind must overanalyze every little goddamn detail. There isn't a single moment of my day where I'm not thinking about half a dozen different, very confusing, things. Even when I'm wired. It might not look like there's much going on in my brain, but oh. There is. Lesser creatures would be crushed under the weight of any single thought of mine. Lesser creatures like squirrels, midgets, and Frenchmen. All crushed. That's MY mind for ya.

I don't do nearly enough. I want to be doing something productive at all times. Yet I lack the motivation. I want it, yet I lack the motivation. Weird. Carpe Diem and all that shit. Seize the fuckin' day. That's why I was looking for new skills to learn a while back, there was just too much time where I was doing jack shit. There still is. I need to get motivated and find something to do. Whenever I start with anything, I lose interest and give up. It happens too often.

So yeah. I watched Fight Club. Fucked up movie. I loved it. It got me thinking. Sorry for people that haven't seen the movie,the following rant might either not make sense to you, or ruin the movie.

That said, I wonder. I forget the name of the imaginary guy. I was too fucking wired to remember details like that. But he was a figment, created by the other guy. Everything that he wasn't, everything that he wanted to be. It got me thinking. What would mine be like? He would be confident. He would be smart. He wouldn't be afraid to speak his mind, he wouldn't be afraid to say the wrong thing. He wouldn't be afraid of anything.

Now you think about it. Who would your other be? An alternate version of you, everything you want to be, everything you're afraid to be, everything you aren't. And don't say you wouldn't have an alternate version, you'd just be you. Everybody, on some level, wants to be different. Whether it's being more confident, being funnier, being brave, there must be something. If you try to convince yourself that there isn't, then you're lying to yourself. Good job. Feel free to comment about what your alternate would be. I must admit to being interested.

What else is there that I need to rant about?

I'm not sure. It's two in the morning. I'm kinda tired. But I don't want to go to bed. I want to talk. I want to rant. But I have nobody to do it to, so I'm just doing it here. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what to say.

What else is there to say?

I'm so confused about so many things.

I rarely know what to do anymore. I put off decisions that I should be making now, hoping that if I avoid them for long enough, they'll somehow become easier, that maybe I won't even have to make the decision. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow, right?

You know what pisses me off? Cartoons or other such programs that have that stupid morale of the story crap. The cliche shit that's so obvious you just groan. All that working together shit, and stuff about friends, and all sorts of other stupid bullshit. Oh, shut up.

I hate so much television these days. I've learned to hate things I used to like, too. Television shows us too much lies. It makes us think that we should be living like that, that we should look like that, that we should do this, or shouldn't do that, or all sorts of other crap. Do what you want. As long as you're not hurting anybody else in the process, who the fuck cares?

I'm fucking tired. I'm going to go cook and eat some perogies, then I'm going to bed.

And since I'm an egotistical bastard, I'm going to reaffirm the ending statement of my last post, and say that you should all email me and tell me how cool I am, at phate222@hotmail.com. You can try to add me to your MSN, but it won't work because something's wrong with my computer.

And if you don't think I'm cool, send me hate mail. I've always wanted hate mail. That would be so cool.

Perogies for me now.

Until next time,
The day the world ends will be a day like any other.
~Kataron

The Greatest Battle

Hey hey hey HEY kiddies.

Kataron here, yet again, with more musings, rantings, and other such words.

Fun day so far.

I got out of bed just before noon. I think about ten to. Mighta been seven to. Anyways, I went downstairs, woke James, went over to turn on my computer, then I heard a car door slam outside. I peeked out the window an saw that the ladies were here. So yeah, they came in, looked around. Oh, I should probably go over who all was here. Esmee, Caitlin, Madeline(Another one of them damn multiple-spellings name. Bah. sp?), and Esmee's sister, Sydney or Sidney, or whatever the spelling was.

They looked around and we pondered what to do. Esmee and I went over to the video place, where we acquired the new Family Guy movie and Fight Club (Yes, DAVE. I got Fight Club. Now return my cat to me, safe and sound, as promised!). Madeline, Caitlin, and James, all went back to James', to acquire Muppet Treasure Island. We met up at the video place, and then picked up Ed Wood, to satisfy my desire for Johnny Depp. I love you, Johnny. Why don't you call anymore?

Then we went to foodplace, and picked up some more perogies, some chips, some Coke, and some cooking oil.

Then we paid for it all, with the same cashier lady that I remember from last time. I remember questioning her on her beverage preference, and she liked Coke better. I remember these things. Anywhosies, then we left. And we saw the rudest person on the way back.

The guy was in this truck, and he just slows down and asks us if the circus is in town. I don't hear him right, and ask him to repeat himself. Three or four times. Then when I do hear him, it goes right over my head and I say something along the lines of 'No'. Then I realize that he had just insulted us, but he was gone. I swore loudly in the direction he drove off to, and yeah.

I mean, I don't care if you insult me. Go ahead. Call me anything you like, I don't give a damn. But when you insult my friends, then I have to kill you. So don't insult my friends. That's simple, isn't it?

Yes. Yes it is.

Then we came back and watched the Family Guy movie. It was fucking hilarious. Absolutely fucking hilarious.

Then I made perogies for everybody. Lots and lots of perogies.

Then we started watching Ed Wood, but we never got to finish, because the ladies all had to go home.

I finished watching the movie, had dinner, and then decided to do this.

Ummm...I'd keep writing this and put in more details of today, but The Incredibles is on, and I wanna watch it.

So until next time,
Everybody should email me about how awesome I am, at phate222@hotmail.com.
~Kataron

Rubber Thoughts

Hey hey, kiddies of the internet.

This won't be a long post, because I'm too fucked up right now to do a proper post. Caffeine makes the world go round, bitches.

MY DAY?!?!?! MY DAY, YOU ASK?!?!?! YEAH!

Umm...It was good.

Hung around with people before first.

Test in first. Wrote some poems on it.

Then second. Had a test here, too. Finished early, left.

Lunch, hung around under the stairs. We had like...ten fucking people there. Man, did I ever feel popular. <3.

Then third. WRITER'S CRAFT!

We did some stuff. Um. We wrote our twenty-nine word poems on paper and passed them around the class, and then people picked which ones they liked best. Mine was one of them ^_^

I'd put it up here if I wasn't so lazy. I'll do it later.

Then we did some thing, where we used our senses one at a time or something. We closed our eyes and then touched something, smelled something, tasted something, and then the rest. We had our eyes open for the seeing one. I didn't do the taste one because I'm obsessive compulsive about foods.

Then we went outside and closed our eyes and tried to make our way back to the school building without falling down or catching fire. I narrowly escaped a fiery fate.

Then last period. Esmee was feeling sick and only came to school for third period, because there was something that she didn't want to miss. So she hung around with Rick and I last period, which was quite fun.

Then I assume some things happened later on throughout the day, including youth group with Star Wars Risk, and probably some other stuff.

But man, I'm fucked right now. I'ma go eat some perogies.

Oh, also, James is crashing here tonight, Eric's stopping by tomorrow, and Esmee, Caitlyn, and apparently Esmee's sister are coming over tomorrow to hang out. Yay for people!

I'm out.

Until next time,
NO! I AM THE FUTURE! ME!
~Kataron

Scrupulous Sanity

That's what I named my cliche-ridden poem for Writer's Craft class. And just for your information, it was SUPPOSED to be filled with horrible cliches!

And yeah, I know there's a liney thingy in it, like in Esmee's name, but I'm very lazy.

I shall show you all my poem currently!

Yeah, I'd say it's about time for a Writer's Craft dump, where I just dump a bunch of work from there onto here.

So without further ado...

Scrupulous Sanity

There once was a man from Rome,
Who met a woman with stars in her bosoms,
While it was raning like cats and spilled milk.
But the woman was putting all of her eggs in one shoe,
So they agreed to keep walking.
Soon he came across another man's shoes, and put them on.
He walked a quarter-mile before he realized that the shoes didn't fit.
He left the footwear next to a tearful wolf,
And wondered if life was really like a box of land mines.
Deciding that it was, he walked out of the forest and into the fire.
Fighting fire with water, he put it out.
Leaving to find somewhere where the grass was greener and less charred with fire,
He met a woman from Nantucket.
They lived moderately enjoyable ever after.

The morale of the tale?
Two lefts don't make a right, but three do.
Four is just stupid.

...

Yeah, that was it.

I read that for the class today, and Allanah(sp?) said that I always made her day with my wacky readings. And that totally made MY day! I felt special. Before I even said the poem, I walked up and said:

"You'll note that I'm leaving the jacket off, because I look more casual this way, yet still better-dressed than any of you."

Before I even got started. Oh yeah, wore the suit today, if I didn't mention that.

Oh, I should be going through my day. So I wore my suit today, wandered around with people in the morning, got two litres of Coke. Oh, and I now know how to spell Caitlin's name. I had a y in there where there should have been an i. I win.

Damn you, MySpace! Somebody named Beck added me, and I have no idea who they are. I keep trying to log in, but I get a message saying how an error has occured. Fuck you, I want to know who damn well added me! I shall find out soon enough, I suppose...And then, then the world shall be mine for the taking!

Anyways.

Then math. Did nothing. Oh, I made a note to blog about something. Natty got moved to the back of the room around where I sit today, because he's too chatty. It's dumb though, because he was answering a question. He just forgot to raise his hand. I made a note of that. Well, the note more said:

"Teachers = Communism?"

Because communism represents everything I hate. Everything bad in the world can be summed up into just that, just communism. I love it.

Oh, I also made a note about teacher appreciation day. It was apparently yesterday. Though, I didn't feel much differently towards my teachers. Why should one stupid day be different, just because the school board decided to try to force the students to be nice for one school day? Fuck that shit. If I like a teacher, I'll be nice to them every day. And I've had some good teachers, who I've had reason to be nice to every day. It doesn't take a stupid day to make me appreciate them if they're good teachers, if they sacrifice their own time for extra help, if they spend all of their weekend marking out work, or any other sorts of things. I appreciate that. But if the teacher is a stupid bastardface, then fuck that shit. I'm not going to appreciate you because of a fucking day. Kiss my shiny metal ass.

Teacher appreciation day my ass.

Oh, that reminds me.

I don't know why that reminds me, but it does.

Writer's Craft assignment. I have to find something I wouldn't normally do, something I haven't really thought about doing, then I have to do it and write an essay about it.

So...Suggestions? And shut up if you're going to say 'Don't drink Coke'. Yeah. Fuck you. I've DONE THAT BEFORE. I went for a fucking month without caffeine of any sort last summer. I've fucking done it. Fuck you.

I might cut my hair for it, though I was kinda considering it before. Shrug.

Any suggestions?

While you mull that over, I'll go on with my day.

Then there was food and nutrition, where I again did little to no work.

Then LUNCH! Hung out with the ladies. I do that a lot. Then Jared showed up and we were wearing our suits, mine red, his purple, and boy was I attractive. Just saying.

Something something Writer's Craft. We did...Stuff. Read our cliche poems. Probably something else. Oh, and we started doing 29-word poems. They're actually pretty fun. I'll share mine tomorrow maybe, when I'm finished writing them.

Yeah.

Then spare.

OH, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I DID!

I played fucking TETRIS. On Rick's old-school Gameboy. And I hooked it up to the portable speakers. YEAH! I was playing Tetris, and blasting it out of speakers. How fucking cool is THAT?! VERY!

Then I came home, watched tv, had dinner, threw up dinner, went for a walk, came home, did this.

Ah, shaddup. I don't throw up that often, I don't care what you people think.

Nate go sleep now. For he is tired and such.

Until next time,
That is NOT where the moon should be.
~Kataron

Terra's Theme (Vocal)

YES! Blogger's working again! I was working on a post in Word, I'll paste it in here now.

Dum dee dee. I’m currently typing this up in Word. Blogger’s down for scheduled maintenance or some such blasphemy.

So I’ll just go on as normal.

My day was pretty okay. In the morning, I hung out with peoples and delivered the old Goguen Files to Mr. Goguen, as per ordered by Bitty. I said ‘I am a messenger’ and handed it to him. Then I left. His response was something along the lines of ‘Oh, no…’

So yes.

Then math. Didn’t really do anything.

Food and Nutrition. Same.

Then lunch. Hung out with Esmee, Bitty and Caitlyn(…sp?). Jared wasn’t there because he’s a bastard. That bastard. I realized that Esmee has a very fuzzy binder, so I decided that I would rub it against my face while she was doing something elsewhere. Yes. Then they wanted to go somewhere, so we walked over to the store and got some Coke, and some cups. We got back, and then I proceeded to share the Coke amongst the ladies. Then lunch was over. Sigh.

Then Writer’s Craft, which was fun. There was a University Fair thingy, so most of the class wandered off to see that. I hung around and spoke with the people that had remained behind. Which were, incidentally, all female. Just saying. I shared more Coke amongst them, and people slowly filed back into the classroom. Jared wasn’t there again, though I saw him at the end of the day. I was too wired to ask why he had been gone. But I regress. I got wired off my ass during this period. At one point, Heather asked for a glass of Coke. So I was pouring her one, and she showed me a picture. This distracted me, and the Coke overflowed and spilled all over my pants. It was hilarious.

Then spare, which I spent doing nothing. Rick was there for a while and left. I had music playing out of some portable speakers that James lent me. John Campbell(of is it just Cambell?) stopped by, and we talked about things like masturbation. In fact, that’s how our dialogue was opened. He complained about the school buses, as he has just been forced to start taking one. He said that if he wasn’t, he could be masturbating right then. We talked for a while longer, Jared showed up as well as other people, as it was the time to bring back half of the progress sheets to our first period teacher, but I didn’t really feel like doing that. So I just hung around and we decided that I needed my own sexual position.

So, the Nate. Sexual position. First, the female-type has to do the splits. Then the male lifts her up and sticks his penis into her vagina. Then…Then the guy spins her.

Wheeeeeeeeeee!

Yes, I’m quite aware that this probably wouldn’t actually work, but until I come up with another one, this will have to do. I must have my own sexual position. I simply must.

You know what’s irritating? Living next to a store. Not just any store, but a store that gets deliveries ONLY at five in the morning, from a very large truck. I mean, what the fuck. Do you have to do this at five in the fucking morning? Some of us on this CROWDED STREET are, AMAZINGLY ENOUGH, TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP. And the least you could do is try to be a bit quiet about it. But noooooo. You talk amongst yourselves and throw the deliveries around. Because why should it matter to you if you wake us up? I swear to God, I would have yelled at them if my parents hadn’t been asleep in the room adjacent to mine, and my yelling would have undoubtedly woken them up as well. You’ve won this round, delivery men. But only on a technicality! One day, I’ll be ready for you. So continue delivering and being loud, obnoxious assholes. FOR YOUR NEXT DELIVERY COULD BE YOUR LAST! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ahem.

Sorry, just had to get that out of my system. I was sitting here wondering why I was so fucking tired, then I remembered about that. Those bastards.

You know, I really like hanging out with Esmee, Bitty, Caitlyn, and those other youngerthanme peoples. Because they make me feel cool. Just like Seth. Whenever I hang out with Seth, I feel like the coolest dude ever. I kinda get that with thee girls. I mean, today they were talking about getting t-shirts that say ‘I love Nate’ on them. Oh yeah. I feel cool around them. Just figured I’d say that. Shrug. Not that I only hang around them ‘cause they make me feel cool or anything.

FUCK YOU, DOOM MOVIE! I saw commercials for that before. They seemed to imply that the scientists in the base were being mutated to become these monsters. Fuck no. There’s a gate to hell or something. I dunno, I never really played the games, but I do know that it’s not mutations, dammit.

I was going to hang out with Seth this weekend. I miss him so. Then I realized that it was Thanksgiving this weekend, and my parents are away. So I don’t get to hang out with Seth. Damn. I love that kid. He’s so cool. I’m glad he moved closer, I used to never ever see him. Now I get to see him every so often, and it always rocks. We always get movies and play video games and take off our clothes. Don’t ask about the last bit, it just seems to happen when we watch the movies. Not ALL the clothes, mind you. A shirt here, a pair of pants there. Don’t judge us.

Heh, that reminds me of the time I decided to play Dance Dance Revolution in just my boxers at his place, and that guy watched me from outside the window. Ah, good times.

Soooo yeah, my parents are going out of town this weekend. Leaving Friday, coming back sometime Sunday. So thus extents the usual open invitation that never seems to matter. If Esmee/Bitty/Caitlyn(sp?) manage to find a ride, they might come down, but knowing my luck, I somehow doubt it. Plans never seem to work out like that. But I still have hope. Nobody else ever seems to heed the open invitations. *shakes fist*

I’m wearing my suit tomorrow. It seems like the thing to do. I haven’t worn it in a while. Not since I wore the jacket to go down to the video place ‘cause it was cold outside, and I own no other jacket. So keep an eye out for me. I’ll be the bright red guy with the cane. And I’ll probably have a group of ladies following me at all times, ‘cause I’m cool like that.

I think I’m getting over my depression. I went for a walk tonight, and I was fine. I didn’t get all sad. I didn’t cry at all. I was fine. It was weird. The things, and the person, that made me so depressed before, don’t seem to be having as much of an effect on me now.

I win. Take that, horrible depression that has plagued me for months and months on end! I no longer require caffeine to be happy.

*dances*

My head throbs.

I want stupid blogger to be up again so I can stupid post this and go to stupid bed. Bah!

Did you know that houses are built in factories? Apparently they are! Scott saw one today. WEIRD!

There we go.

That was the post that I had written out in Word while waiting for Blogger to work again.

I should probably be sleeping now. Oh, and I want to clear up a couple things that I'm too lazy to go back and reply to comments to. To Kristyn on the subject of the Valedictorian dealy, nah, I'm not using it. I'm not Valedictorian. I clearly should be. But if I was, I'd totally use that speech. And I'd have rocks.

And to Greg's comment about the fight in the last post...Yeah...That fight kinda sucked. I was really tired and notsomuch thinking at the time, so yeah. There'll be a better fight soon, I promise. But can you ever get better than a ninja fight? Hell no.

Nate sleep now.

Until next time,
If I was a tree, what kind of tree would I be? An Ent. Duh. ...What do you mean that's not a tree? Fuck you, who made you the High Inquisitor of fucking trees? Get bent.
~Kataron

You're Not Alone

And I'm here, to remind you of the mess that you made when you went away.

You, you, you oughta know.

I love Richard Cheese. Him and his wacky cover.

So, my day went as my day usually goes.

In the morning, I hung out with people.

Then math, where I didn't do anything.

Then Food and Nutrition. WHERE I COOKED CHICKEN STIR FRY! FUCK YEAH! It was good. It was damn good. I mean, wow. I'm not good at cooking. The ladies handled most of it, but I managed to help whenever I could.

Then the ladies that now hang out with me at lunch seemed somewhat upset that I didn't bring them any, but I couldn't. I can still smell it on my breath, somewhat. It was damn good.

Hung out at lunch with the ladies, Jared, and John. Esmee, Caitlyn(sp again?), and Bitty seem to now enjoy eating lunch under the stairs with us, which is really cool. John's been eating there for a while, because he finds us entertaining. Which we totally are, so okay. I let the ladies read a journal entry in my Writer's Craft journal, about why I think that homemade fish and chips is the single most depressing meal ever. It's a sad story, really. They seemed to find it sad. Ms. St. Jean, too.

Ah, that reminds me of a slight update on the Eva situation. She first emailed me over the weekend, and we've been passing a few emails back and forth since, but now she wants to stop because she feels guilty talking to an ex-boyfriend, and doesn't think her current boyfriend would approve. She promised to get in touch with me again later. So okay. We haven't spoken for almost a year, so however long it takes her to work this out doesn't make much of a difference. Yeah.

Umm...Then there was Writer's Craft. As per usual, it was fun. Ms. St. Jean was gone, though. We wrote a poem from the point of view of a character we invented last week, and then did work on cliches. I mostly ended up talking with Jared, Ben, and Griesy(sp?) for the rest of the period. Fun fun fun.

Then spaaaaaaaaaare.

Hung out with Rick and did nothing. 'twas fun. :)

Came home.

Star Ocean.

Dinner.

Went over to James'. We've decided that we're gonna make techno. James has a kickass program on his computer, and we decided that we're gonna make awesome techno. We're currently working on a techno remix of Final Fantasy Nine's, 'You're Not Alone'. It's an excellent song. If you haven't heard it, download it. It's amazing. <3.

Yeah.

So what random points are under the magnifying glass tonight?

Well...Esmee now has a pair of my boxers. Odd, huh? She said she had a collection of other people's undergarments, and I had some that I wasn't wearing, so meh. Most of my boxers are shiny. I love it. Shiny is good. Shiiiiiiiny. Shiny shiny shiny. So I gave her an old pair of mine that I don't wear anymore. Black, with silver hearts on them. Yeah. Seemed like the thing to do.

Shrug.

What else is there to rant about?

Huh. So, it's Peter Jackson that's directing the new Halo movie that they're making. God, I hope he doesn't fuck this up.

Oh, I guess there's something else I neglected to mention of my day. Rather silly of me, now that I think about it.

Remember my ninja fight of last week? Yeah. Got another one. Not ninjas this time, though.

I was walking slowly up the hall, between first and second period. People were everywhere. I was headed for the computer wing, where my Food and Nutrition class is. I reached the windows that overlook the quad, and paused for a moment. Something wasn't right. Something large was coming out of the ground. I sighed to myself, and opened one of the windows. People gave me strange looks, and one teacher tried to scold me, but I leaped through the window without paying any heed. I cast a feather fall spell on myself to make myself fall more slowly, and touched down on the ground without any damage. At this point, people were watching me through the windows, but it didn't matter. I had business to take care of.

I turned my attention back towards the goal at hand. It was now fully out of the ground. A giant stone golem, towering at twice my height. I mentally categorized my weapons. Swords, daggers, a staff. None of them would have any effect on this giant stone creature. It looked like I would have to do this the old fashioned way.

It began to lumber slowly towards me. That was it's only weakness, the fact that it was slow. But it was incredibly powerful. One swing and I would be knocked all the way across the quad.

I looked down at my fists. They wouldn't do much damage. Not like this. I uttered a few words of magic, and my hands began to glow a dull red. I slowly cracked my neck to one side, then the next, as I waited for the beast to get closer. As soon as it was within attacking range of me, it swung one of it's long arms at me. I jumped over it, narrowly avoiding having my legs hit, and began to run up the arm. The beast didn't seem to expect that. I ran the length of it's arm before it used it's other arm to try and stop me, but by then I had already smashed my fists into the back of the creature's neck. Stone chipped away, but nothing significant. The magic surrounding my hands helped to protect them, and helped to do more damage to the golem. But not enough.

It shook its entire body, throwing me violently across the quad. I landed near the top of the hill, close to the windows of the cafeteria. It took me a moment to recover, but as soon as I looked up, the golem was already charging. It was generally slow, but it was too close to avoid entirely. I tried to jump to the side, but it caught me and threw me through the windows into the cafeteria. Broken glass flew everywhere. Blood dripped from my face as I stood again, as numerous cuts were formed. The golem followed me, smashing it's way into the cafeteria and feeling nothing.

Weapons would not work. My fists would not work. The only available option was to pull out the heavy-duty magics. I try not to use these if possible, because it drains me nearly completely. This is usually fine, but in some cases, I'm attacked more than once in the space of one day. So I don't like to be left weak.

I began to summon up magical energies as the monster moved towards me. It was slowed by the tables and chairs, but not significantly. As my magical energies surrounded me, my cuts healed and the blood disappeared. I began to levitate slightly above the ground. I raised both hands towards the golem and spoke a few words of magic in low, reverent tones. Dozens of bright flashes of light came from my hands, and streaked towards the monster. It was not easy to hit, being as large as it was, and every missile found it's target. Stone chipped off again, and the golem was pushed back. But still, it lumbered forwards, towards me.

I sighed. More energy would be needed. I closed my eyes and let the magic flow through me. I stopped trying to control it, and just let it flow into me, let it channel through me. It went to my hands first, and bright beams of light shot out of them at the golem. Not singular missiles as the last spell had been, but constant streams of energy. The golem struggled against it, and stone began to chip off as though it was being struck by a jackhammer. Then the magic found it's way to my head, and beams of light shot from my eyes and mouth, towards the golem with the same intensity as the beams from my hands. They all proceeded to strike it, and even more stone chips flew off of it.

Then the light weakened. It flickered out, and died. I fell to the floor, and darkness swept over me momentarily. I weakly lifted myself with one arm and surveyed the damage. The stone golem's body still stood in the middle of the cafeteria, but it's head was lying severed nearby. The body had a large indent in the chest, where the light had been chipping away at it. But it was done.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can't go wrong with ridding an enemy of its head.

A bright flash of light. The glass was repaired, the tables were back in place, and the golem's body was gone. The memories of everybody that had seen it were altered.

The bell rang.

I was late for class.

...

And there you have it.

Sleep time for Nate.

Until next time,
Dammit, man. I've already told you everything I just. Just give me the fucking popsicle.
~Kataron

Weapon Of Choice

I bet I could tackle the moon if I wanted to.

So, yeah.

My day today was rather generic. Morning hangingoutage with people. Got a 12-pack of Coke, but they're not on sale anymore. Sigh. That means I can't afford to keep getting them, because I'm always too goddamn generous with them. Mostly with the ladies. I was down to half a case within fifteen minutes of buying it. Yeah.

Then math. Did nothing. SURPRISE, SURPRISE!

I got irritated at the morning announcements today. Not what was said, but who was saying them. That voice has just started to dig into my brain. That annoying, annoying voice. Gah! I can't listen to them anymore, so I just turn my music up. But I'm glad I don't have that person as a teacher. I'd go nuts.

Then Food and Nutrition. Didn't do much this period, either There was a fire drill. I stood alone and snapped along with Richard Cheese. I do so love him. <3.

Then lunch. I hung out with people at stairs. Mitch was there, Jared was there, Owen was there, Esmee(there'd be a little liney dealy above the first e in the pair, I think. But I'm far too lazy, so from now on she has no line.), Caitlyn(again, this is the assumed spelling for I have been too lazy to ask) and John(also assumed spelling. Sometimes they drop the h. Commie bastards.). 'twas fun. People should always come hang out with us at lunch. We love people. Well, some people. The cool people. All others can just fuck off.

Then Writer's Craft. We got our journals back today. Maybe I'll put a couple of my journal entries on here for the hell of it, to show you what kinda things I write. We were supposed to hand in portfolios with a bunch of stuff in them, but then I didn't have all my stuff, or a good copy of my Valedictorian speech, so I couldn't. I'm handing it in tomorrow. I think I'm actually gonna type up the speech for my blog tonight and then just sorta transfer it to Word. I'm liking it how it is at the moment, though. So I'm not sure how much I'll change. *shrug*

Umm...To be honest, a lot of Writer's Craft today has become a blur to me. I don't recall really doing anything...Oh yeah! We had a cliche assignment. I'm not good with cliches. Not good at all.

Then SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE! Oh wait. Spare. Just one a. Forgot.

Hung out with Rick, bought Coke, talked to people as they walked by. The usular. That's a word now. Like usual, but up to three times sexier. Look at that l. That's a sexy l. Umm...I'm wired. Yeah, that's my explanation.

The rest of the period is a blur. Just hangin' with The Rick and talking about whatever came to mind. *shrug*

Then the end of the day rolled about, around the same time it usually does. Except this time it had a drum roll. No wait...That was the bell. Nevermind.

Hung out with more people at the end of the day.

I seem to have gained either a really big fan, or a stalker. Esmee seemed downright honoured when I used her as an armrest today after school. Then I commented loudly to Jared about how I had gained either a stalker or a really big fan, and she seemed to agree with Stalker. Not that I have a problem with that. I mean, hey. A lady. Stalking me. Neat! Certainly don't have problems with ladies stalking me. Oh, and Esmee just dyed her hair. It looks really cool. That warranted a mention on here.

For I am Kataron, and my will is not to be questioned. Now I command you all to dance! Dance the dance of the dead!

I woke up to a new email from Eva. I've decided to stop referring to her on here as the bitch. I'm actually enjoying getting these emails from her, interestingly enough. I'm interested in striking up a friendship again. Just a friendship. Keeping it through emails for now, because I'm not sure what I'd say to her over a messenger. I'd be pressured into responding more quickly, and I'd say something stupid. This way is better. For now, anyway.

Oh. I was also hangin' out with Paddy tonight. I love that kid. He didn't come on the retreat because apparently his mom didn't have time to go to the bank. Sucks that he didn't drop by, I'm sure we could have covered him. He's so cool.

So, he was on his way to the school where other people were, when I hijacked him and hung out with him for the next...Hour, hour and a half, something like that. We talked about all sorts of stuff, it was fun.

We hung out in Lloyd Dyer(sp?) for a while, then we went over to Rockmosa. We had an interesting experience there.

We were just sitting on a picnic table, talking about stuff. I think we were talking about the ladies at the time, when this guy came out of the shadows and walked over to us. He started talking to us. Asking us why we were there, shit like that. I tried to be as respectful as I could, but I was quite irritated. Apparently there'd been a rash of break-ins in the area, and he was part of a neighbourhood watch dealy. So he felt the need to question us. He also seemed to believe, for whatever reason, that this gave him some authority. Ha! He can kiss my ass.

Paddy and I were sitting around in a public area talking, and last I checked, that was fine. I understand where he's coming from, as his house was one of the ones broken into, but I don't take kindly to being accused like that. That pissed me off. At first, we thought he was drunk. My dad seems to know him, I mentioned it to him when I got back. He may or may not have a talk with the guy. Shrug.

The creepiest part was that I didn't see him leave. I saw him go back into some shadows and tree areas, but I didn't see him actually walking away. So he may have decided to just sit there and watch. So yeah. We were extremely creeped out. We hadn't seen him come up, either, so he may have been watching us for a bit then, too. Creeeeeeeepy.

I'm gonna go find my notebook and type of the Valedictorian dealy now.

brb, not that you'd notice the difference.

Got it.

Nate's Valedictorian Thingy.

Well...We're done. And it's about freakin' time.

I'm sure there are those of you out there that know me, and those that don't.

For those that don't, hi. I'm Nate. And due to some flaw in the general student body, I have been elected Valedictorian. So here I am, so share my feelings with you.

I've been told that the high school years are supposedly the best years of one's life. If this is true, then I'm going to kill myself.

High school sucks. Let's face it. There are probably those of you out there that disagree. I humbly request that these people leave now, before I throw something at them. *brandishes rocks* That's right. I have rocks. So no getting uppity.

Back to my speech. High school has sucked. The teachers have sucked. The classes have sucked And the new students have sucked.

Let's take a trip to the past, shall we?

Remember grade nine? Back then, we weren't considered people. And rightly so. Back then, we weren't people. Because grade nine's aren't people. They're pests. We were pests. We were like a swarm of annoying locusts. That's all grade nine's are, 'cept they've got hands.

Then there was grade ten. This year is a bit of a blur to me. I can therefore only assume that it sucked so much that my subconcious decided that it must be wiped from my memory.

And grade eleven? Well, pretty much the same thing.

And then we were in grade twelve. We were the top dogs. We could have spares, and possibly drive, and if you were eighteen? Hey, a get out of class free card. It brought on a certain level of false freedom. We could do what we wanted. But we usually didn't. We just kept doing what we were doing. But that was fine, because mischief was now at least a valid option.

Those have been my hears. I can't speak for anyone else, but this has been my experience. This is all just my opinion.

And in my oh-so-humble opinion, kids these days suck. Look at them. Disrespectful little bastards. A lot of you are disrespectful little bastards. Smarten up. And also, kids are just so ugly these days. It's like they've been getting progressively uglier. I don't get it.

And I've never understood why so many students at this school are completely uncapable of the simple task of flushing a freaking toilet. Have you ever used a bathroom at this school? Ever ventured into a stall? If you have, there's a good chance that you found a little present from the stall's previous occupant. I can't speak for the women's washroom, of course, having never dared to enter one, but my point remains. It's not a difficult task to dispose of your bodily waste once it has left your body. You just flush. The toilet isn't going to ask you a skill-testing question before it banishes your waste to the underworld. It just goes. Geez.

Keep that in mind as you move on to bigger and better things. In the real world, you can probably get fired for crap like that. Crap. Get it? It's a pun.

Anyways, drink Coke. Who cares if it's bad for you? It gives you that kick you need to get things going. And it's a lot better than Pepsi.

Anyways, the sooner we end this, the sooner we're gone.

So until next time,
Seriously. Drink Coke.

Woo. I edited that as I typed it up for here. Now I just have to copy and paste it into word, and print it. ^_^

Yep.

Was there anything else I wanted to say? I don't think so. So I should sleep now. Or soon. Yes. Oh, and I'll probably maybe do a new zombie post soon, or maybe a new chapter in Kataron's story. Yeah, you've probably all forgotten about Kat. He was in a tavern/inn and just had a run-in with an old friend when we last left him. And I know a few of my newer readers aren't familiar with him, so when I make a new Kat post, I'll link it to the previous chapters as well.

Yeah. I rule.

Until next time,
My wang demands a human sacrifice.
~Kataron

American Idiot

Greetings and salutations, oh readers of the blog.

I am here to tell you all about my awesometastic weekend.

It started out like any other. With a Friday.

I ended up at the youth group 'round six. Dave's father was there, and Dave was getting either Eric or Rick, I wasn't paying attention. It took me two trips to get my stuff and my Coke.

Then we just waited and hung around there.

The Rockwoodians going were myself, Eric, Rick, Dave, Emily, a friend of Emily's that I later learned was named Jess(I assume this is the correct spelling), and Eric's friend Eleanora(I assume this is the correct spelling. It might actually be Eleanor, I never really paid attention, but I assume it's this.) and then of course Andrew. You'll note that these aren't really Rockwoodians, but I call them this because they got picked up in Rockwood and I'm too lazy to type out something else explaining it. Other than that.

We waited for a while for the bus. Hanging out with people, drinking Coke, chasing that damn squirrel.

Then the bus got there. I sat next to...Ah, fuck. I forget his name. We called him Minkus, after the character from Boy Meets World. Looks like him. He was cool. And his hair was so soft and pettable.

...Just sayin'.

We stopped at McDonald's on the way there. Dave and I wore those plastic bib things. They had fucking pockets in them to catch food that falls from your mouth. How fucking awesome is THAT?! VERY! This fad didn't catch on except for one other kid, though. Oh well. They got my order wrong, too. I ordered a double cheeseburger with nothing but cheese, fries, and a Coke, but they put ketchup and a pickle on my burger. I would have complained, but the line was too long. So I just gave it to Rick and ate the fries.

Then we hung out in the bus waiting. FUCK, they took a long time to eat. It's called fast food. Fast fucking food. You see the keyword in there? That'd be fast. You're not supposed to spend ages eating it, it's fucking burgers and fries. You bastards.

And there was a guy with a dog. He apparently came into the parking lot, parked the wrong way, got a dog out of his truck, did something, then went into McDonald's and bought food, then fed the dog the food, and then put the dog BACK in the truck, and then a woman who hadn't been there in the beginning got into the truck and left with them.

Weird!

Then they got there and we left. Then we arrived at the place and got our cabin. I do so love our cabin. In our cabin, we had myself, Andrew, Rick, Dave, Eric, Jeremy(Jer for short), Minkus, a guy named Pierre apparently, and Luke for one night 'cause he didn't like the door being locked.

We didn't really accomplish much the first night. We went to a service at the chapel that went on for a while.

I don't really remember much of it. I can remember not wanting to bother standing up and jumping around and all that shit because I was too lazy and didn't care. I just sorta sat around and did nothing. I seem to recall talk of world domination. This disconcerted me. It seems that God wants to take over the world. I worry that Christians will one day change their way of taking over the world and just grab guns. But meh. These were just my thoughts at the time, and I was wired off my ass.

Then we went back to cabin. Of this night, I seem to recall a lot of fireworks and pillow fights. Then sleep. That's about it.

Then we got up yesterday morning around eight or so, having gone to bed around five or so. Rick, Dave, and I had been the last ones up that night, I think. Well, we were the talking ones, anyway. Luckily, I fell asleep before Rick started snoring. That kid snores like a fucking race horse.

So the next morning, we got up, pre-breakfast Devo thingy, then breakfast, then I think we went to a service, and...Ah yes, at the end of this one we took a walk into the forest and looked around. There was something about trees and something. I dunno, I wasn't really paying attention. I hung out with Dave and Rick while the others did whatever. Then we got lunch. Sandwiches and soup, and I didn't like the soup. Then we had a few hours of free time, so we hung around and did random things for a while. I wandered off with my notebooks a few times and wrote some stuff. I tried to nap once. And maybe some other stuff. It was kind of boring, really.

Then dinner.

Pasta and garlic bread. Wasn't that great, but I was hungry, so meh.

Then there was the night service. This is where things started to get really fucking weird.

Okay, at one point, the guy had everybody lie face-down on the floor. And just stay there and think about Jesus or whatever. I was one of the few that didn't. Fuck that shit. That floor is filthy, there's no way I'm getting down on that. Of course, it made me feel very uncomfortable to be one of the only people up. Jess and Eleanora were up too, but they were on the side. I was in the middle of the goddamn room sitting up in a chair, surrounded by people lying on the floor. I was trying to avoid meeting the eyes of the band members, because I felt sure that they'd think I was a jerk because I wasn't joining in.

And that was only the beginning. Soon enough, they were all up again and standing in a large crowd worshipping or whatever while I sat right behind them in a chair, then the guy started going around and touching people's heads and then they'd fall down. This scared the fuck out of me. Between that and the speaking in tongues, I was INCREDIBLY uncomfortable being in that room. I don't know what the fuck I would have done if he had tried that on me. Luckily, Dave noticed how very uncomfortable I was, and suggested we leave. I hadn't really thought of this before, not wanting to be impolite, but I was very glad for the opportunity. If Dave hadn't been there to suggest that, who knows how long I'd have stayed in there...

Eric, Eleanora, and Jess were at the door talking about stuff. Jess came with Dave and I, and we went to the dining hall. Went to the washroom, then found a croquette(sp?) mallet and started playing with that. We also kept stealing Jess' hat. Well, mostly it was Dave that did that, then she'd keep taking my syrup and I'd have to chase her. At some point, she decided that she could defeat both of us at the same time with wrestling. I mostly wrestled her on my own, with Dave omre taunting than anything else. I refused to hit her, because she's a girl and all, so I just got her with a variety of pins and holds while she tried to punch, kick, and bite me. I totally won every single round. She almost beat me at one point, apparently, but then I won. I'm not sure how long this went on for, but it was a while. It was fun.

Then Rick and Eleanora joined us and we wandered off to try to find something else to do. We failed, Eric and Andrew joined us, and then we ended up hanging out at a picnic table for a while. Emily joined us for a time, and then we all kinda wandered off to watch some kids from another cabin burn a large stuffed animal type-thing of The Grinch. It was...Interesting.

Then we ended up back near our cabin. At this point, Jess and I wandered off and started randomly talking about stuff. This went on for over two hours, and we eventually parted ways around three thirty or so in the morning. Then I went back to the cabin just as some guy was being a jackass. It seems that I missed some excitement at the cabin whilst hanging out with Jess. Apparently, some guy in another cabin came in under the pretense of looking for a lighter that he lost (which is true, I think, because he said it was orange, and I found an orange lighter around) and he stuck a stink bomb in Rick's bag. Andrew had spoken to the pastor about it, and he told him to tell the kids to stay inside, and then some dumbass was giving Andrew shit about it, and apparently threatening to rape us. I got back just as the guy wanted to talk to Andrew some more, so I got Andrew and then they argued outside. Then the guy came to our door and continued to be a moron, and wouldn't go back to his own cabin. Andrew had to stand very close to him and force him to step backwards, all while being accused by the guy of trying to kiss him or some stupid shit like that. When he reached the door, he wouldn't go in, so Andrew actually shoved him in. I had never thought that Andrew had it in him to do that. To be honest, he's always been a pushover, but man, it was awesome when he pushed that kid.

At that point, I had just gone out to see if Andrew needed a hand with anything. I came out just in time to see that. Then the guy started talking about assault and shit. Yeah, if it had been me, I would have sacked the kid, punched him, and then shoved him into his cabin, swearing all the while. Yeah.

Then Eric and I watched a fire for a while. We put it out with a combination of Coke and urine. Well, I pissed on it.

Then sleep.

Fuck, Rick snores like a race horse. Like a fucking race horse. Like a race horse that's dying and being very loud about it, and it's then being amplified by a microphone with construction going on in the background and then children screaming and yelling as well.

That's Rick snoring.

*shudder*

The next morning, we got up, pre-breakfast Devo thingy, then breakfast. Pancakes. Then I spent about an hour lying on a very large tree branch.

Then the service. After a while, I really needed to pee, so I wandered off and did that while people told each other about visions God had apparently give them. I came back and stayed at the door for a while, then Jess left, so I figured I'd hang out with her for a while longer. We went back to the tree and hung out there for a while. The service went on for at least an hour longer than it should have been. It annoyed me.

Then there was cleaning and all that, lunch, and then we took the bus home.

Ummm...Yeah. That was pretty much my weekend.

A good honourable mention goes to Dave. I know I've already mentioned him a few times, but he made the weekend more bearable, even though he was sick. If he hadn't suggested that we leave the room of falling people, I might still be in there now. Or so I assume.

So yeah.

You know what fucking pisses me off? When you don't stick to a schedule. Don't put fucking times on the fucking schedule if you have no intent of keeping to them! Fuck you. It fucking pissed me off that everything was later than it should have been. EVERYTHING. And then things ran later than they should have. Sometimes by quite a while. It was so fucking irritating. I'm obsessive compulsive about time, so it bugs me a lot.

Also, the whole speaking in tongues thing bugged me. That's just weird. I didn't like how the leader dude was just throwing in random bits of speaking in tongues, and it always sound the same. Shala something. Like, every time. It was clearly bullshit. Clearly. Bullshit.

And then there was that whole falling down thing. I don't buy that for a second. I'm sorry, but that's just fucked up. I don't believe in all that. I think these people want to see something, they want something to happen when they're touched, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your mind creates something to make you feel like you've been touched by God or something. I don't believe it's anything more than the subconcious at work. And it irritates me.

The guy was going around trying to get people to raise their hands today. He 'helped' everybody in the first row raise their hands, and then came to the second row. When he reached for my hands, I kept them close to me and just shook my head. He kinda looked at me for a moment, then he didn't try to raise anybody else's hands.

Take that!

Fuck I'm tired. I don't know how I've typed all this. I don't remember what I've typed. I am just. So. Tired.

Nate sleep now.

Zzzzzzz....

P.S. Check out the cool new banner on the right side of the page! Neat!

Until next time,
Word to your collective mothers.
~Kataron

PotC Theme

Oh me oh my.

As you can probably guess, I'm back.

*bows*

There will be a full post later on about how rockin' the retreat was.

But for now, I have other things on my mind.

I just got an email from...Eva. Yeah, I didn't expect it either. We broke up almost a year ago now, and then just out of the blue I get an email from her. It went a little something exactly like this:

Um... So... I haven't heard from you in a while. How is life going for you?

I got a good job selling property insurance and am still attending school. Changed my major to web design though. Yeah... just thought I'd see what you were up to.

-Eva-

And that was it. I replied. I forget a lot of what I said in the reply, but I replied.

I'm not even sure how to feel about it. I just...It's rather overwhelming. I haven't spoken to her in a very long time.

And it's because of her that I can't enjoy homemade fish and chips. Bitch.

Umm...Yeah.

More later, dinner now.

Until next time,
LIES!
~Kataron